As Bex examined herself in the mirror the next morning she couldn't help but feel different. Did it show on her face? Could everyone tell? Was she still the same Rebecca she had been a few days earlier? Did doing what she did make her an adult?
I mean technically they didn't do it, per se, being as they didn't get fully naked. But Bex felt like it counted regardless. She thought about the way Lyssa's lips felt on her skin, the way their two bodies thrashed together on the floor. The sounds Lyssa made. Her face got red all over again just thinking about it. Even though they weren't fully naked, as far as Bex was concerned, it definitely still counted. Which means she...
No.
She wasn't going to think about that. How could she think about how she and Lyssa did that? A line had been crossed, and she wasn't sure if she had been ready to cross it. It wasn't like it was planned or anything, but she had always thought her first time would be different. That it would come after being in a long and steady relationship with a partner who understood her fully. Someone she trusted and loved with her whole heart.
This was not that at all.
Did this mean she and Lyssa were like a thing now? Did she want it to mean that? She had no clue what Lyssa wanted. All night she had been hit with wave after wave of Lyssa's emotions. Fear, anger, resentment, confusion, sadness, desire... The list went on. How could she face Lyssa after all of that?
Everything just felt off to Bex. Not only was her head filled with Lyssa's emotions, but she was no longer as pure and innocent as she been before she met Lyssa. Bex had always been the naïve happy go lucky type. Never really interested in things like that. She always figured she would know when she was ready, that one day love would find her. Something found her alright, but she wasn't sure it was love.
She arrived at school 30 minutes before she usually did. She hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. Not with everything in her head. She tried her best not to think about anything, wanting nothing more than to be a very big blah. If she were a blah, then she wouldn't be able to describe how she felt, and if she couldn't describe how she felt she didn't have to address it just yet, and if she didn't have to address it just yet then it was almost as if it never happened. Which is what Bex wanted.
Her eyes were wide and blank as she stared off into nothingness, trying her hardest to be a blah. She wanted to clear her head to separate what was her emotions and what was Lyssa's. Of course, the task proved impossible.
"Hey," Darci sat down in front of her.
Bex just stared off into the void of space.
"Bex?" Darci eyed her in confusion.
Bex forced herself to meet Darci's gaze and smiled. The smile came off as creepy and strange. Darci made a face that showed she was uncomfortable.
"Wow look who's here early today," Mike slid into his seat.
"Hey," Bex said, but she sounded distant and off.
Mike gave Darci a look, Darci just shrugged.
"Hey, you're here early," Joan joined the table.
"She's acting like a freak," Mike whispered to Joan, but Bex still heard him.
Yet, she couldn't bring herself to care. She was already overwhelmed with all the emotions running through her head. The last thing she needed was to add to the list.
This was all Lyssa's fault, Bex had concluded. This bond, this new development. This was way more Lyssa than she ever wanted to know. It's one thing to get to know someone, but another entirely to actually be in their head and feel what they feel. She wanted out of the blood bond right then and there.
"You okay?" Joan asked.
"Yeah," She lied.
"Bex?" Joan grabbed her by the chin and forced Bex to meet her eyes.
Bex immediately wanted to tell her best friend everything, but then she realized Joan wasn't just her best friend anymore. Joan liked her and telling her would only hurt her. Almost as if Lyssa knew she was talking to Joan, Bex felt her emotions spike. Lyssa was angry, frustrated, annoyed, with just a hint of jealousy.
Bex's eye twitched.
"Let's talk," Joan grabbed Bex out of her seat and dragged her away from the group.
"She's coming," Bex said to no one in particular.
It was just a fact. She could not only sense Lyssa's emotions, but she could sense Lyssa. The whole girl. She felt her when she was close, which was another thing she didn't want to get into. How exactly was it possible that she had become a Lyssa sensor? Did she even want to know?
"What is with you? Did she do something to you?" Joan pulled Bex aside, by the school entrance.
Bex opened her mouth to try and pretend she was okay, to deny everything, but then Lyssa walked up the steps. Their eyes met and Bex's face instantly went bright red as she recalled the euphoric heaven. The way Lyssa moaned her name.
The two quickly looked away from one another and Lyssa walked by without so much as a hello. Bex cringed when she could feel Lyssa's confusion, her annoyance, her anger. It nearly overpowered her own emotions of embarrassment and whatever else it was called when you accidentally have sex with your vampire master.
"What was that about?" Joan raised an eyebrow.
"Nothing! Nothing happened. I mean she didn't do me, something to me!" Bex quickly corrected herself. "I uh, got to go." She ran away from Joan and into the building away from everyone.
Her heart once again began to race and she felt the redness spread down to her neck. She tried to control her breathing as she thought about Lyssa's tongue running along her skin, the sound her shirt made when Lyssa ripped it open. To her ever-growing horror, her memories of the emotions from last night triggered Lyssa and she could feel the vampire's sudden desire.
Bex swallowed down her emotions and focused on being a blah. When she had a grip on herself, she walked off to her first class early, before the bell even rung.
Throughout the day she could feel Lyssa. Lyssa's boredom. Lyssa's annoyance, Lyssa's curiosity. As the day went on the easier it became to distinguish what was what. Which did bring Bex some comfort.
At lunch the two ran into each other, as much as they had been avoiding each other, it was inevitable. They stood there awkwardly for a moment, neither saying a word. Bex took a deep breath, knowing she was going to have to be the one to break the silence. She could feel Lyssa nowhere near a resolution.
"Hey," Bex forced a smile.
"Hello."
"Nice day isn't it?"
"I suppose so," Lyssa said in her fake accent.
"Yeah..."
Then Bex turned on heel and quickly walked off.
She could feel Lyssa's sting of rejection. So many things she wished she couldn't feel. Lyssa in return was practically drowning in Bex's confusion and denial. But as Lyssa stared after Bex she could also feel something else, something she secretly craved too. It could be summed up into one word.
More.
Bex glanced back at her once, they locked eyes for a brief moment before Bex walked to her usual spot.
"What was that? I could see the awkward," Mike commented as Bex sat down.
"Seriously, need a knife for that tension?" Jaden joked.
Bex forced a burst of nervous laughter.
"You've been acting weird all day," Joan pointed out.
"No, it's fine. Just natural," Bex talked nonsense as she avoided her friend's gazes.
Darci raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"Did something happen between you two?" Mike teased.
"Did you kiss?" Jaden added.
Bex's face going red told them all they needed to know.
"Oh my god, you did!" Darci gasped in shock.
"What!?" Joan could do nothing to hide her jealousy.
"I uh... I'm gonna get food." Bex got up and quickly retreated.
Joan chased after her.
"You two kissed?" she grabbed Bex by the arm.
Bex didn't want to tell her, but she needed to tell someone! She was going mad keeping it bottled up. So she made up her mind, Joan was her best friend after all.
"Come here," Bex dragged Joan into the girl's bathroom.
"Did you two kiss!?" Joan demanded.
Bex made sure they were alone before pulling Joan into a stall and locking the door. Then she leaned into Joan's ear and whispered,
"We had sex."
Joan's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped in shock.
"It was an accident," Bex quickly explained. "Totally not planned. I mean it was so weird and now everything is ruined!" Bex ran her hands down her red face.
"How do you accidentally-"
"Shh!" Bex cut her off. "It was the stupid blood bond thing. We were fighting and then I cut my lip and right as she, you know, drank my blood, it got stronger. One thing led to another and yeah..."
"Oh my god," Joan said in horror.
"I know! I don't know what to do. I wasn't ready for that, or any of it!" Bex had tears in her eyes.
Joan embraced Bex in a hug to calm her down.
"What do I do? I mean we were barely becoming friends. That wasn't supposed to happen. Everything just went from zero to ten way too fast!" Bex panicked.
"She shouldn't have taken advantage of you. When I see her-"
"She couldn't control herself. I couldn't even control myself! It was all just so overwhelming," Bex pulled back to look into Joan's face.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that at the time, I wanted it. I mean I was practically begging her for more! That's so embarrassing!" Bex ran her hands down her face again.
"Well haven't you two talked about it?"
"No! I can't face her after that! Not when I can feel all her emotions and crap. This is just way too much. I want out!"
"Well, maybe I can help you-"
"She's coming!" Bex hissed.
"Rebecca," Lyssa walked in.
"Go away," Joan called.
Lyssa walked over to the last stall and tried to open the door. It was locked.
"Open the door Rebecca," Lyssa demanded.
Bex opened the door, still not able to look Lyssa in the face for more than a few seconds. Joan guarded over Bex; Lyssa glared at her. Bex could feel Lyssa's jealousy, her rage, and most frightening of all she could feel how much Lyssa wanted to kill Joan.
"Rebecca, we need to talk," Lyssa said.
"I don't even know what to say. That was... and we... and you," Bex stammered.
"Can you give us a moment?" Lyssa shot at Joan.
"Not a chance," Joan sneered.
"Fine, then I shall take Rebecca elsewhere."
"She's not your pet!"
"So you put the idea in her head," Lyssa took an intimidating step towards Joan.
"Lyssa stop," Bex stepped forward.
"I just want to know why you are acting like this," Lyssa said. "Yes, last night was, unplanned, to say the least. But, was it not good? Do you... do you not want to be my friend anymore?"
Bex could feel Lyssa's fear, her vulnerability. It tugged at her heartstrings; she opened her mouth to say something, but Joan beat her to it.
"She doesn't want anything to do with you! Now get out of here before I slay you."
"I'd like to see you try!" Lyssa got in her face.
"Lyssa stop! It's not that I don't want to be your friend. I just... I don't know. I mean I wasn't ready for all of that. I just need space to think, please."
"Oh," Lyssa sounded disappointed. "I see."
"No Lyssa-" But Bex was cut off by Lyssa vanishing out of the bathroom.
She could feel Lyssa's despair, her rejection, her sadness. Lyssa felt humiliated and began to regret ever letting Bex into her life. The feelings were so strong that It blocked Bex from feeling her own emotions.
"I can help you break the bond, but it will be painful for both parties," Joan interrupted her thoughts.
Bex was so confused and overwhelmed. She didn't know what to do, she just felt like she was trapped in a giant Lyssa sandwich. She wanted to be Lyssa's friend, part of her even wanted to be more, but was she ready for that? Was Lyssa ready for that? Bex was filled with so much doubt and worry as she recalled the blond beauty from the painting, the girl that Lyssa constantly cried over. Bex was nothing when compared to them, at least she thought so.
"Okay," Bex's voice shook as she agreed.
"You sure? It might take a day or two before the stuff is ready. Think you can wait that long?"
Bex nodded.
Joan hugged her again.
"It will be okay, just hold on. I'll get that vampire out of your head in no time."
But is that what Bex really wanted?
Much to Bex's dismay, the day went on. All she wanted was a moment to herself, without Lyssa in her head. That way she could process her feelings without fear that Lyssa would feel what she felt. No such moment came.
When she got home, she took a shower and went to her room. She needed to focus on anything but Lyssa. So, she began to clean her room, much to the shock of everyone in the house. They all knew Bex never cleaned her room, no matter how much they begged or bribed. Bex always found comfort in the disorganization, she had a system to her madness. Or so she used to think.
Now all she wanted was some semblance of control back in her life. Everything was beginning to be too much. The vampire, nearly being killed, now this. Now someone was literally in her head, someone would know what she felt if she is lying or not, when she's hungry, or when she-
"Feeling okay?" Her mom poked her head in the room.
"Yep, is there anything in the washer?" Bex picked up her dirty clothes off the floor.
"Not that I am aware..."
"Great," Bex pushed past her and carried her clothes to the laundry room.
"Mom, she's scaring me," Abby shuddered.
"You and me both kid," they watched after Bex as if she had grown a second head.
After cleaning her room and washing her clothes she did her homework. Once that was done, she put new sheets on her bed. After that, she practiced her Oboe. Anything to keep her mind off of Lyssa.
When it was time for bed she once again stared up at the ceiling. She closed her eyes and took in three deep gulps of air to try and calm herself. It was then that she realized that she couldn't feel Lyssa, she sighed in relief.
She jolted when a scratching sound came from her window. She sat up and glowing yellow eyes peered at her through the window. She slowly got up and walked over to it, moving the curtain.
A black cat mewed at her.
"You scared me, kitty," she sighed before opening the window and pulling the cat into her arms.
The cat just let her hold it for a moment.
"Aw, look at you. So cute. I don't think my mom will let me keep you though, but we'll keep it a secret." She smooched the cat on the head.
The cat transformed into Lyssa, Bex yelped and fell on her butt.
"You should be careful, vampires come in many forms," Lyssa shut the window.
"Lyssa! You scared me! What are you doing here?" Bex whispered.
"I need to feed."
"Oh," Bex felt her face go red.
"I'll make it quick," She helped Bex off the floor.
Bex felt her heart rate increase at the thought of Lyssa's lips on her skin. She turned even more red with embarrassment once she realized Lyssa could feel what she was feeling. Still, Lyssa didn't comment on it, instead, she led Bex back to the bed and gently pushed her down.
Bex closed her eyes and tilted her head slightly. She had been expecting a deep bite but was met with another nip, a love bite. Bex felt a tingle run down her spine as Lyssa licked at the blood, slowly, teasing her.
"Liar," Bex moaned softly.
"I never claimed to be an honest woman," Lyssa whispered against her skin.
She moved her lips up Bex's neck to her jawbone. Bex made the first move, as Lyssa moved to kiss her on the cheek, Bex turned her head so that their lips crashed together. Lyssa didn't miss a beat. She bit down on Bex's lip, sucking the blood into her mouth. Both girls moaned softly.
Bex felt Lyssa's hand tug at her shirt.
"Wait. I, I don't know," Bex pushed Lyssa back.
"It doesn't have to mean anything. This is just a vampire seeking comfort from a human, nothing more," Lyssa assured her.
"Okay," Bex easily gave in as Lyssa licked her neck some more.
"Don't..." Lyssa tailed kisses to her ear. "Don't break our bond, Rebecca. I have become quite fond of it," Lyssa admitted.
She pulled back and they locked eyes for a moment. Then Lyssa slowly leaned in, pressing her lips softly into Bex's. This kiss was different, this kiss had feelings behind it. Bex quickly kissed her back. Lyssa licked the blood off her lips.
"I don't know if I can handle all of this," Bex admitted. "It's just so much," She squirmed under the vampire's touch.
"You're stronger than you know. After all, not many humans can say they held their own against a vampire," Lyssa nipped her ear.
"But won't it be awkward, with you in my head and me in yours?" Bex pushed her back.
"Only if you make it awkward. I find myself enjoying this very much. Last night... that was amazing. You made me feel things I haven't felt in a very long time," Lyssa kissed her again.
Bex shuddered in Lyssa's arms, her resolve to end the bond crumbling away by the second.
"Give in to me, Rebecca," Lyssa licked the blood on her ear.
Bex bit her lip and moaned softly, her arms wrapping tightly around Lyssa.
"Oh, screw it," Bex pulled Lyssa roughly into a kiss, completely giving in.
Lyssa moaned into her mouth.
In seconds they found themselves in a repeat of the night before. Bex was only in her undergarments as Lyssa peppered kisses all over her body and nipped at her skin. She raked her hands through Lyssa's hair and ground against her.
Lyssa moved to kiss her neck, sinking her fangs slightly deeper to draw out more blood. The euphoric feeling quickly overtook both of them.
"Mmm, that feels good," Bex moaned.
"Oh Rebecca," Lyssa started grinding into her.
Then the lights flicked on.
Bex's eyes shot open. She pushed Lyssa away so hard that the vampire fell on the floor. Then Bex clutched the blankets close to her body
Her mom stared at her in horror.
"Mom!" Bex flushed.
"So that explains it then, why you cleaned your room," her mom crossed her arms. "You are sneaking your girlfriend into this house in the middle of the night!?"
Lyssa quickly picked up her clothes and put them on.
"Mom I can explain."
"Grounded! Do you hear me!? How dare you do things like this while we all sleep just down the hall. Have you no shame? And you!" Mrs. Cross turned her attention to Lyssa. "Out of this house this instant, as far as first impressions go this has got to be the worst!"
"My apologies Mrs. Cross," Lyssa mock bowed and smirked in amusement.
Bex shot a glare at her.
"Out!" Her mom repeated.
"I shall see you tomorrow, Rebecca," Lyssa gave her a cocky smirk before leaving out the front door.
"Mom! You are so embarrassing!" Bex shot out of bed and quickly got dressed.
"I'm not the one having sex with my girlfriend on a school night! While my parents sleep a door down!"
"We weren't having sex!"
"Then why are you naked, Rebecca?"
Bex could hear her sister snickering in the hall.
"Can you just go back to bed? I think you've humiliated me enough for a lifetime."
"You think this is bad, wait until I tell your father. Grounded, and I mean it," Her mom slammed the door.
Bex grabbed the pillow and slammed her face into it before screaming,
"Stupid vampire!"