☾ఌ☽ఌ☾ఌ☽ఌ☾ఌ☽
"𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑦, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑡."
I WALKED OUT of the woods, a baggy t-shirt covering me, each time I transform I make sure to bring extra clothes. Walking out naked into a street full of people is not necessarily something I ever wish to do.
Today was Christmas Eve, I was spending Christmas with Sirius, the Weasleys, Harry, Hermione, and my dad. We all thought getting together might've been fun, and we all knew Sirius needed a little social interaction.
I invited Alice to come over for Christmas as well, since she was a part of the order, but her mum and dad wanted her to stay back.
I dragged my leg while walking towards the house, it was late in the morning, 11:23. I assumed dad had already came back, he was probably worrying where I was since I'm not normally this late.
The truth was I'd just been feeling really sick lately before and after transformation, all I wanted to do was sleep. Even as a werewolf I could still feel human like illness, like stomachaches and headaches. It was much harder to fall asleep when I felt so sickly.
I cut my leg when transforming with my sharp claws, and now I had a big gash in my leg with blood spooling out of it. Hence why I'm dragging my leg and limping.
I cast a spell to reveal Grimmauld Place, while opening up the front door. I heard ruckus down in the kitchen, deciding to make my way down there for my big entrance.
I raised my ear up against the door to hear Molly's worried shouts, "Why don't you transform together? It's much safer, and you don't have to worry about her getting lost!" She exclaimed, rushing around the kitchen.
I heard my dad sigh, "She doesn't like to, she doesn't want anyone seeing her like that..." I frowned, he was right. I didn't like transforming together, I didn't want to hurt him and I didn't want others to see me transformed.
I opened up the door slowly, as Sirius and dad looked up quickly, their eyes widening before dad hurriedly got out of his chair and embraced me in a hug. I hugged him back tightly, moving my leg away so he wouldn't get blood on him. "What took you so long? We were worried sick.." He muttered into my hair.
I only shrugged, while pulling away and giving them a tight lipped smile. I heard Molly gasp behind him as she came rushing to me quickly, while inspecting my leg. I hissed when she put pressure on it.
"Oh dear, oh dear...what happened Adira?" She asked worriedly, while casting a spell to heal it. "Just a scratch." I mumbled unfazed. Sirius came up and stood beside my dad, now pulling me into a hug. "It's good to see you again, Adira." He welcomed me, while smiling.
"You too Sirius." I smiled, while turning to look at dad. "Mind if I go get a shower? I can still feel fur on me." I shivered, also really cold from only wearing a huge t-shirt. Dad nodded silently, as I walked up the steps and towards my room where the bathrooms were.
Kreacher stood by a portrait, muttering aloud filthy mudbloods and such, I ignored him though. I wasn't interested in talking with Kreacher right now.
I walked into the room where Hermione, Harry, and Ron all stood talking amongst themselves. I walked to the bathroom silently, saying nothing so they wouldn't notice my arrival. "Adira!" They all shouted at the same time while rushing up to hug me.
A weak smile hung at my lips, as I embraced them each in a hug. "I've been gone for a day guys, I'm fine, really." I chuckled quietly, noticing Hermione still stood with her hand on top of my shoulder. I ignored those knots in my stomach and made small talk with them.
Truth was my eyes were drooping, fighting to stay awake every time they looked away. My leg was sore, and standing on it got increasingly harder. The itchiness of the fur bothered me as I interrupted Harry while he was talking about Cho or something.
"I'm going to get a shower, we'll talk in a bit." I gave a tight lipped smile while walking into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me and hopping into the shower. I noticed their concerned looks as I looked back, but I ignored it again.
I turned the faucet to warm, hoping that it would heat me up. It never worked though, my body always seemed to be cold. I shook my head slowly trying to get unwanted tears away that stung in my eyes for no reason. I hated crying, especially when I didn't know what I was crying about.
I let sadness take over me, as quiet sobs raked through my body. I didn't want anyone to hear, so I covered my mouth trying to block out every sob that shook my body.
REMUS'S POV
I watched as Adira limped up the stairs, holding onto my old baggy t-shirt tightly, trying to keep warm. Even a blind person could tell she wasn't doing too good recently, the light in her eyes disappeared and she wasn't as lively. She wasn't acting like herself at all. It wasn't just before and after transformation anymore, it was all the time.
I had gone through the same thing when I was a teenager. Grasping the fact I was going to be a werewolf forever only truly hit me when I was about 16, almost the same age as her. I frowned when she didn't even look back to try and give me a convincing smile that she was okay, something she normally did the day after transforming.
I continued staring at the stairs even after she left minutes ago. I felt Sirius stand beside me still, worry sketched on his features. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. Opening and closing his mouth like a fish. He patted my back, while muttering a 'I'll be right back..'
A minute later Tonks came out and stood beside me, concern growing on her face. "Are you alright dear?" She asked, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. I nodded my head and turned away from the stairs, now looking at the purple haired woman in front of me.
"I'm just worried about her..." I admitted honestly, while sighing. "You know she's a strong girl Remus? She may be struggling now, but just being there for her will help her a lot. I'm sure of it." She stated, a soft smile forming. "And If it doesn't? What will I do then?"
"Tell her about when you were a werewolf and growing up, help her understand more that she isn't alone. Telling her that you felt the same way would help, I think she just wants people to understand her...instead of look down on her." Tonks told me, patting my shoulder. I nodded my head in understanding.
"Your right, I'm gonna start showing her more that I'm there for her. Maybe on Christmas we can leave for a bit and just have a father daughter day? Do you think she'd like that?" I asked her, Tonks was always good at giving advice and I could trust what she day to say. Listening to her always helped, and she never failed to calm my nerves.
"I think she would love that." She smiled, turning to walk out. I stopped her, placing my hand on her shoulder. "Thank you Tonks, that meant a lot to me." I smiled at her, as she winked and walked down the hall into the kitchen. I chuckled quietly, and went to turn into the living area until loud stomps raced down the stairs.
Harry, Hermione, and Ron all walked down the stairs each of their footsteps sounding like a heard of elephants. "Professor!" Hermione called out to me as I turned around, giving her a knowing look. "Hermione, you don't have to call me that. Remus or Lupin is fine." I laughed, as she thought about it for a moment.
"Lupin.." she started slowly, trying to get adjusted to it. "we just think that Adira has been...oh what's the word. Under the weather lately? She doesn't eat as much, she's always tired and doesn't try engaging in as much talk as usual. We're worried." She confessed, expressing the same exact fears I felt.
"You know, I've been noticing that too. I'm going to try and help her more, get her to open up if that's what she wants." I smiled, sharing a look with each of them to see if they thought it'd be a good idea. They nodded curtly, making their way into the living room now as well. "And maybe you guys can try and help her too, I know you all mean so much to her.." I told Hermione privately, the boys probably not understanding how much friendships really meant to one another.
"I'd do anything to make her as happy as she used to be again.." Hermione muttered quietly, her eyes saddening as she stared at the ground below her. "Me too, but we can't force her to open up. If we give her time and patience I'm sure she will at some point." I reasoned to the smart young witch stood in front of me.
She nodded solemnly, not wanting to admit to herself that one of her best friends was changing. "Pro — Lupin...I've always wondered what transforming felt like, the books wouldn't be able to describe it as much as you and Adira can. I've always been too worried to ask her..it's a touchy subject she tries to avoid as much as possible. I know your more comfortable about it." She told me, as we walked down the hall into the living area while we all sat on the couch.
"Are you sure you want to know? It's not all butterflies and rainbows.." I sighed, placing my elbows on my knees. Hermione nodded her head eagerly, always wanting to know and learn more. "Your bones feel like their stretching — actually they are. Your head lengthens and your hands turn into pawed claws. You have to worry about cutting yourself with them, and making sure you don't hurt anyone else. Your back hunches over in an in-human like way. The pain is unimaginable, almost like the cruciatis curse but not as bad.." I trailed off, thinking of all the times I'd walk into the hospital wing with James and Sirius by my side, each of them holding onto me tightly.
Hermione shuddered beside me, I instantly regretted telling them now, it was probably too much for them. "It's only once a month, it's not so bad when you get used to it." I consulted her, while she nodded her head slowly even if she didn't believe me. "I don't think I'd ever get used to that..." Ron muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.