[angst] requested
It was 10 in the morning, I know I should have not screamed at her but then I did.I was angry , my mind my soul they were not the same as before. I used to be my parents little girl but ever since I grew up things changed. Maturity swam over me.
"Hey baby you should have not done that but things happened just make up with her after this and things will be okay"My boyfriend since high school, Kim Sunwoo said to me while caressing my hand.
"I know but she yelled at me because I was still dating you. She kept on saying I should not have gotten with you because she used to date your father---"
"--and my father cheated on her broke her heart backtab her. Yes I know but your father loves me so do your siblings. Your mom may not like me as much as them but atleast they approve me and even backing me up"
"But honey she said things she should not have said she even said mean things about you. You do know how much I love you right ? I hate it when this happen" I said as the words from my mom's mouth kept on lingering in my mind.
"Its okay Y/n. Stay here for the night I'll take care of you. Let me just text your father that you're with me" Sunwoo said holding me tight in his embrace.
Kim Sunwoo. He is an angel. I just have never thought that I will fell hard for him. Obviously I went through that dating phase during middle and high school that is not that serious or end up getting dumped by them. But for Sunwoo its different we dated since then and is till going on strong.
We first met through our friends. He was in a class next to mine and I do wonder sometimes how the fuck did I never notice his existence before. Maybe its because we never stumble upon each other or maybe its because he's always around his group of friends only or maybe its because I never get along with his type of friends. Dont get me wrong they are nice but our personality just does not match with each other.
Flashback
"No Y/n it should be like this you cannot put Y below X that does not make sense here just let me help you write the equation "Yoori and Haseul both sat beside me. They almost threw a fit at me but thank god that did not happen because I know they love me.
"I just dont get it why is it so hard? I love maths but maths dont love me this is bullshit"I whined loudly .
"Eric youre here!"Haseul exclaimed excitedly when she saw her boyfriend but not boyfriend walked in to our class.
"The both of you should just date each other. You act like a couple it disgust my eyes my ears and my soul"I said looking at the two hugging each other tightly.
"Y/n if youre jealous just admit it, you can always go back to Jaehyun he will always open is arm for you to go back at him"Yoori teased .
Jaehyun is the boy that I dated for 2 months but it did not last long as I got busy and have no time to deal with him and he also got busy but turns out he had 20 other chicks to be with. I dont really care about his sincere apology or whatsoever I took his apology to just not have a drama with anyone.
"Shut up Yoori, anyway take a seat Eric and also tell your friends to sit "I said welcoming the boys.
Haseul sat next to Eric with his 2 friends. It have gotten quiet for a while before she nudged his elbow and whispered in his ear.
Eric's cough grabbed out attention as he speak "Girls this are my friends , this is Hyunjoon and this is Sunwoo. They are kinda shy so please dont mind them"
"Well hi boys, Im Y/n and this is Yoori please dont be awkward around us"I said. Then I locked my eyes with Sunwoo.
He does not smile even a bit. I knew he meant no harm and its just his natural face but something about him make me feel things.
I turned my attention away to my unfinished maths homework and continue to do so.
Fast forward it was time to go home the bell rang and the wave of students walking out of their own class was chaotic.
Haseul and Yoori both have extra class for their option subject and I have no choice to walk home alone. It's not really a big deal since we will meet each other again tomorrow.
After bidding goodbye at them I walked outside the class to the hallway, barely anyone I knew was there and to be honest it was kinda awkward with me walking slowly and being alone.
I heard steps fastening behind me and the next thing I knew my name was called from behind. I stopped and turned around only to saw Eric's friend Sunwoo behind me his hand holding his unlocked phone with his sweaty appearance. Judging by his shirt, it looked like he just had a football practice.
"Hi Sunwoo can I help you?" I asked since its very very awkward for me to be in this situation right now.
"I know we just met but you really seem like a fun person to be with. Can I have your number?" He trembled before giving me his phone.
And gosh how could I ever say no to this little bean and with that we grew closer with each other and few months later he asked me to be his girlfriend infront of our friends. I agreed and I never expect to love him this hard.
End of flashback
"I already texted your father and he told me to watch you and he also want me to tell you that youre mother is not in a good mood" Sunwoo said placing two plates on the table for our late dinner.
"It looks like chef kim is cooking chicken soup tonight , Kim Sunwoo how are you so good at everything? You can sing, dance, rap, compose music, cook and even can take care of your girlfriend"
"Maybe its because I have you thats why I need to be good at everything. One day when I have kids with you I need to be a good-- no I need to be the father for them"
He saw a future when he saw me. Its just crazy how the both of us are crazily in love right now. He's really whip for me. I do love him more than I could imagine and if only my mother accept him things will have been perfect.
My heart is also touch how he rejected his company's offer on being an idol.He signed a contract with his company and was train to be an idol , he was also in a reality show called school rapper and in a predebut reality show called the boyz flower snack. His company respect his decision but never filed a suit against him due to his contract but instead they put hire him as a composer under their entertainment. When I asked him why he do things so he would always say
"If I think about this and if Im an idol I cannot date you and even if I can I could not date you openly.Some of my fans may not accept you like the other artist and yeesh lets talk about how obsessed they can be they are creepy. I also care about your safety they might harm you. You dont even need that negativity in your life"
Im willing to grab the moon from above if that will make him love me even more.
"Im glad youre here with me. Im blessed to have you Kim Sunwoo. I mean it when I say so and even when things happen Ill still love you endlessly. Nobody can replace you"
"Hwang Y/n Ill love you endlessly and for eternity. Remember whatever happen between us just remember I can never love anyone else except you. I just want you and you and you. Just you in my life. I cant wait to start a family with you one day. My love for you.... only god knew how much I care for you"
"We'll start a family soon baby, just let me finish college first and wait for me to get a job then we can get marry at the beach and exchange vows during sunset just like how we plan it to be"
"Then I cant wait for it to happen. You are mine now but I want to make it more official and you having my last name is a big achievement for me..."
"...I love you Y/n"
"I love you too Sunwoo"
With that we slept in the living room on each others arms securely.
Next day
"Im scared Woo, what if she sends me away? Or abroad? Or even worse blame everything on me again like she used to?" I said overthinking as time goes by.
Just now my mother spam call me but I dont answer them because Im used to her being like that but then my dad texted me saying that they want to have a talk with me and Sunwoo especially my mother.
I received text from my siblings saying that my mother was really angry and they dont think its a good time for me to come home. But I need to get this done once and for all.
"It will be okay even if it will hurt me as long as youre not hurt then it will be fine Y/n. Im with you youre with me, we'll do this together "Sunwoo said smilling bitter-fully. I knew he's having a hard time right now. Having your girlfriend's mother not liking you can hurt you the most.
Its now or never. I dreadfully dragged my legs to walked to my house. It felt like a mile away yet so close. Sunwoo walked closely behind me. Im afraid things does not go according to plan.
I knocked on the door and walked inside. It was awfully quiet. Both of my parents sat down on the couch waiting for us to arrive.
"Take a seat. Both of you." My mother coldly say with her feet clicking on the hard woody floor.
Sunwoo and I sat next to each other. Heart pounding loudly and I can even see how terrified Sunwoo is by looking at his trembling hands.
"The both of you have been dating for years now. Right?" My mother said firmly and Sunwoo answered "Yes"
"Mom please dont sta--"
"Y/n I dont ask you to speak you better shut your mouth. Im here to have a simple conversation with Sunwoo" with that I shut my mouth and pray to god to not have anything bad happen.
"So do you think you can take a good care of my daughter?"
"Yes I can take care of Y/n--"
"Are you even ready to commit into this relationship? Can you even make her proud? Be a better person for her? Do you have a stable income to support yourself or her in the future? Say, what do you do for a living? Youre not even continuing your study"
"I compose songs and work in the music industry for a living. I produce songs for idols to perform"
"I dont know if I should gave you a 'wow' expression or not since clearly Im not impressed"
"Honey he pays for Y/n college fees since we can't afford to" My father jumped into the conversation.
"Oh please if you werent so lazy and work properly you could have paid for our daughter fees now she's with this boy licking of his money you dont even know what she did at your back just to get into that college"
"I dont mind paying for Y/n's fees every semester if its for her education. I prioritize her education and want her to succeed "
"If you prioritize her education why make her prioritize love over her own education? Look Kim Sunwoo how many times must I tell you that you are not suitable for my Y/n? Me myself failed to be a mother and how can you be so sure that you can be the best person in her life? You are the son of Kim Heesung and I dont trust your bloodline at all, in the end you will end up hurting Y/n"
"But what my father done to you has nothing to do with me, I am not like my father I already apologize to you on behalf of him and he even apologize to you sincerely this year--"
"I DONT CARE IF YOU APOLOGIZE BEHALF OF HIM I JUST DONT WANT YOU AND YOUR BLOOD LINE AS MY IN LAWS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY YOU IN MY DAUGHTER's LIFE"
"HWANG YEEUN THATS ENOUGH!" My father stood up. " IF YOU DO THIS TO OUR DAUGHTER I WONT HESITATE TO DIVORCE YOU "
"MOM DAD PLEASE ENOUGH IS ENOUGH DONT DO THIS"I yelled, Sunwoo's eyes glisten with tears I knew he had enough but I dont want him to give up on us.
"Mom please let us be please dont separate us. Im 20 already why must I be like this?" I cried on the couch. The pressure I received mentally always made me rethink of Sunwoo. His heart must ache at this.
"No is a no"
"ENOUGH YEEUN ENOUGH"
Suddenly Sunwoo stood up , walked towards my parents who both stood up with my mom mad at us and my dad mad at my mom for doing so. He dropped to the ground and begged "Please Miss Hwang I begged you let me be with Y/n I promise you I'll treat her the best and I wont disappoint you and her. Please give me a chance" Sunwoo cried on the ground.
I rushed next to him on the ground "Sunwoo stand up please dont beg I dont like seeing you beg please Sunwoo please--"
"Please Miss Hwang I sincerely begged for you to give me a chance"
"Beg all you want but I will never. Ever. Accept you as my in law" She spat making my dad furious. Both of them quarrel in-front of us. My siblings even went down to see whats the noise is all about.
"Sunwoo are you okay?"I asked him. His face harden and I can see his adam apple tighten. Tears flow down his eyes one by one.
"Im sorry Y/n I cant I just cant they wont accept me I just want the best for you" He said standing up slowly heading to the door.
"No no no no no no Sunwoo Sunwoo! KIM SUNWOO PLEASE DONT" I ran after him until wr are outside the house.
"Sunwoo please.. Sunwoo dont go , please Sunwoo please dont.. just dont.. I love you please... I only want you"I grabbed his arm trying to stop him.
"Remember when I said that no matter what happens Ill never entirely give up on you and love anyone else as much as you?"
"Dont tell me you--"
"Lets. Lets just. Hwang Y/n lets just break up"He took a breath before saying it with a broken voice. His eyes, oh much of a pain it is. He's hurt enough to say this.
"W-why?"
"I dont want this Y/n I love you I really do. But your mother does not approve me she dont even want to give me a chance to prove to her that I can treat you better. Hey dont be sad baby. Dont cry your beautiful face does not deserve to have a tear on it. Just remember that Ill always love you for eternity and Im sorry for you to experience this. You'll find a better men than me that can take a good care of you and fulfill your mother's expectation. Right now Im just hurt with your mother's word they stung my heart. I know its impossible but Ill wait for you. Even if its the end of the world I dont need any other girls love except for yours. So please, once in a while do text me and tell me youre okay and keep on doing so until you dont feel the need to have me in your life. Youll do fine baby Im sure you will. Im sorry that I have to do this, I love you Im so crazily in love with you that it hurts so bad but Im also letting you go because I love you so fucking much and it hurts Y/n it hurts!"Sunwoo cried while grabbing my figure hugging me as hard as he could as if this is our last hug and meeting which it is.
I knew that its over. I could not do anything about it except to accept my fate.
"Im sorry Sunwoo I really am. I love you so much I dont think I could be myself again" I said painfully and with that Sunwoo kissed my forehead and kissed my lips before departing his lips from mine.
With one last eye contact he left me on the street outside my house. His figure starting to disappear from my view. I can run to catch up with him but I dont think I have the need to. The pain , its so painful watching him walked away, him walked away is the same as him walking away from my life. Kim Sunwoo already walked away from life.
My throat is awfully painful and sore. Dont let me get started with my eyes the tears wont stop flowing out. I walked inside my house weakly and I can see my parents there waiting for my arrival. With that I cried into my fathers arm loudly letting out the pain Im experiencing.
"Y/n Im sorry Im so sorry what have I done? Y/n In really sorry. Your father knock some sense into me I was mad please let me make things up where's Sunwoo? Let me talk to him" My mom said
"He's gone just like you want him to. He--he's gone he's not coming back. H-he left. It hurts.." I cried. My mom tried to hug me and take me to her embrace but I snapped at her.
"I hate you for what you have done" I said before stomping to my room.
Hours turn to days, days turn to months and months turn to a year. Its been a year since the tragedy happened. My friends Haseul and Yoori helped me with what had happened. I did graduated college but what touched me the most was even when Sunwoo and I are not together he paid for my fees. I even think about dropping out of college but insisted to pay for mu education since he want me to succeed. Well I did promise him to pay the money that I owe him afterwards but he dont want me to.
My mom? I talked to her but everytime we stumbled upon the topic about love I shut her down. She even introduce me to some boys around my age but its not it. Until now she apologized to me endlessly. My parents even went to Sunwoo to apologize to him and to tell him to rethink his decision but he moved away from his house and his parents house? They also moved to a new neighborhood nobody knew where.
All these days I cant help but think about him sometimes. I just miss him so much and it still hurts me to this days.
It was 7pm and my family and I sat in the living room watching the television. Recently my sister Yena love the group Dream, a group that just debuted under Creker Entertainment they have an all kill no 1 in the charts and is the hottest rookie boy group this day.
We are watching them since they are invited into a reality show called happy together to talk about their life and success.
I dont really pay much attention until my brother Heechul nudge me and point at the television screen.
"S-Sunwoo?" I breathy said looking at the love my life appearing on the screen as a special guest other than Dream.
My parents tensed when they saw him , it may be because of what happened but all I care is him. Kim Sunwoo . Its been a while since I saw him, I miss him like crazy . I still followed his instagram and saved his phone number. He's not active in his social media account so I cant really see him clearly.But now his appearance still made my stomach feel butterflies even if its from the screen.
"So Sunwoo I heard you wrote songs based on what you experienced and mostly you gave your songs for Dream is that true? Can you tell us your inspiration?" Yoo Jaesuk asked him.
Sunwoo lined his lips straight. He hesitate to answer before saying "Well my inspiration? Usually it takes times to have an inspiration and mostly people will gain this in the shower." He joked.
"But for me.. my inspiration is from this girl--"
Upon that all the crew, staff and guest roar at him.
"-- I cant tell you who she is but she's my inspiration. Most of the songs I wrote remind me of her or just by thinking of her I got this ideas quickly."
"One of the latest hit you produced is a song called Back 2 U and the lyrics is really sad did you broke up with her?" I want to slap this host face so much since I knew how Sunwoo hated personal question.
"Well yes we broke up because things happened but that does not made me stop loving her. Back 2 U explain about the way a person's feelings towards the person they love and how they want to go back to them but they just cant."
"How about you gave some words towards this girl through this show and let her hear your final words for her" all of the people waits for his response .
"*****--" Sunwoo said but the sound edit got edited as all the people laugh and warned him to not say the name and I knew its my name.
"So aaa to you , I dont know if youre going to watch this since I know youre not into reality shows. But if you are watching I still remember my promise towards you. Ill wait for you and will still wait for you. I just cant find any other replacement for you since you cant be replace. I hope you are fine" Sunwoo said and bow done but then he cried softly turning around from the cameras
"aaaa hyung dont cry "
"She must be his first love since boys rarely cry unless they love her truely"
"Dont cry dont cry dont cry dont cry" they all chanted.
"He still love me its a pity how things turned out" I said pitifully. I wanted to cry but I just cant. Im tired of crying.
I still love him , Kim Sunwoo my sun , in the future I will meet him again I dont even know when but I will meet him we will love each other endlessly. Till then I dont want to date anyone who's not him.
"I will always love you"