She always had that about her, that look of otherness, of eyes that see things much too far, and of thoughts that wander off the edge of the world.
- Joanne Harris
I had never gone home for Easter break before. No one did usually, which is why I wasn't surprised when both the Hogwarts Express and Platform 9 and ¾ were almost deserted. I noticed my parents standing next to the Malfoys and the anxiety that had been building up since the beginning of the trip had only increased.
"Welcome home, Eleanor", my mother said and pulled me into a quick hug. I did the same with my father, but I didn't say anything. I knew better than to ask questions.
"Come on, let's go", my father said and apparated us back home. Just one and a half years and then I'd be allowed to perform magic outside of school.
"How has your term been, honey?" my mother asked to break the tension. It had been quite terrible actually, considering what Adrian Pucey did. I hadn't told my mother about it, but she must have heard about it from Adrian's mum by now.
"It's been okay", I said, staring at the large building in front of me. Selwyn Keep, passed down from generation to generation. Since I was an only child, this would all be mine after my parents passed.
I remembered my father's explanation vividly. I want you to always be proud of your last name, Eleanor Selwyn. It translates literally to "castle comrade". It is why we live in such a beautiful place. The Selwyns live like royalty, because we deserve it. Last names were given based on what a person or family had achieved. Our ancestors earned that last name, Eleanor, and it's our job to continue earning it.
Those couple sentences were the reason why I prided my reputation so much. I needed to make them proud, those people I didn't know. I needed to earn my last name.
It was weird to be back in a form fitting dress and heels. To have no friends to hang out with before supper, to be back in the cold and dark manor, but it was the right place to be. It was home, home of the Selwyns.
"Eleanor, can you follow me, please?" my father asked as I was about to head back upstairs. I nodded and followed him through the hallways. We went to one of my favourite rooms, the family tree room.
The room had no windows to not damage the artwork that lined the walls and had done so for centuries. The Selwyn family tree, grand and proud.
"Do you remember spending time here?" My father asked. I did. We used to spend a lot of time here when I was younger. My father would tell me stories about all my ancestors and then I'd have to retell all of them to check if I had paid attention. There was great aunt Gormlaith Gaunt, married to Perceveric Selwyn; she had died honorably in battle after years of preaching and fighting for pure-blood supremacy, my uncle Dominic Selwyn, one of He Who Must Not Be Named's most trusted advisors during the First Wizarding War and the one cousin without a name who had been exiled after impregnating a muggle. It sure was an interesting family tree.
"I do", I mumbled, scanning the names, recognising very famous last names among my oldest ancestors. There were the Gaunts, the Prewetts, the Shafiqs and even Daphne's family tree was linked with mine, although somewhere in the nineteenth century.
"What do all of these have in common?" my father asked. "All except for your far cousin at least." He traced his finger over the black smudge that hid the name and face of the disgraced cousin. I knew what my father wanted to hear.
"They're all pure-bloods."
"Very good, Eleanor. Your mother and I have taught you a lot about blood status over the years, but never as explicitly. We didn't think it was necessary, but we have been proven wrong. It is very important that you understand and take on these beliefs, Eleanor."
"Why is that?"
My father didn't answer my question. It was just quiet for a long time.
"Why are pure-bloods considered elite, Eleanor?" he asked.
"Because we're believed to be more powerful because there's no muggle blood in our family tree", I said, the sentence that I had heard so often before.
"We ARE more powerful, Eleanor. It's important that you understand that", my father said, his voice slightly agitated. "Pure-bloods are the only true wizards. If you mix pure blood with muggle blood, you take away some of the magic. Continuing to breed with these muggles will result in a world where there are no true wizards anymore, a world where magic will die."
I swallowed at that statement. My father had never told me about that before. Was it true? Would magic die because of muggleborns? But Granger was a muggleborn and she was a very skilled witch, although I was reluctant to admit it.
"When you return from Hogwarts in the summer, the situation will be a lot different than you're used to", my father continued.
"How different?" I asked. I had an idea, but to what extent, I was unaware of.
"I told you before about Lord Voldemort returning. Our Lord has been in hiding for a while, devising his return and getting back his strength."
Our Lord. He Who Must Not Be Named was my lord now.
"This summer will be the start of his reign and we will stand besides him. I hope you're aware of that, Eleanor."
There was a long pause, but I didn't know what to say. My throat was dry. I had no choice, but then again, if I did have a choice, would I choose otherwise? Would I go against my own parents based on a couple of doubts?
"Will I have to meet He Who Must Not Be Named?" I said slowly. It was a stupid question, but I wanted to know the answer.
"We don't use that stupid nickname in this house, Eleanor. His name is Lord Voldemort", my father snapped. I was not responding the way he wanted me to.
"I'm sorry father. Will I get the chance to meet Lord Voldemort?" I asked. It was quiet for a while more.
"I don't think he'll bother himself with people who aren't useful to him. I just need to know if you will be able to do your name proud when the time comes."
There was no other choice. I had to.
"I will, the wizarding world must be preserved."
"Good, make sure you radiate just that for the next hour, okay?" he said.
"Next hour? Why?"
My father sighed. "We've got a guest coming and she does not tolerate you rebelling from how you were raised. You must present yourself as you are supposed to, Eleanor. I know that school is teaching you all kinds of nonsense, but never forget where the truth lies. The truth lies in the family tree, Eleanor. You know how powerful the Selwyn name is and what is the reason for that again?"
"No muggle blood", I said instantaneously.
"Good", my father nodded approvingly. "I knew you'd make the right choice, Eleanor. You were sorted into Slytherin for a reason." My father put his hand on my shoulder and I forced out a smile. Was this what it meant to be a Slytherin?
"The Malfoys have arrived, come on", my father opened the door for me. Draco was here? Were they the "guest" I had to prepare myself for? I had met them a thousand times.
I put up the standard Selwyn smile and walked down, following my father, following in his footsteps.
DRACO'S POV
I saw it as soon as our eyes met. She had gotten the same news I had gotten. Eleanor had a very neutral resting face. It was not angry, not sad, not happy, just neutral. It made it so difficult to figure her out.
But sometimes she wore that slight smile. Her eyebrows raised just a little bit and the corners of her mouth slightly up. And it meant that she was hiding something behind it. She wore the smile every time I used to insult her, every time she met some new friend of her parents, every time she spoke to younger students as a prefect. She was hiding that she felt like she didn't belong.
"Bellatrix will be joining us shortly", my mother said. It had been properly weird to see my aunt again. I only remembered her from pictures and stories. I had met her when I was just born, but I had no recollection of that. And today she was waiting for me in the family room as if it was the most normal thing in the world. My aunt, Bellatrix Lestrange.
"Eleanor, can you make some tea, darling?" he mother asked. "The elf is out for a chore." Eleanor simply nodded, her eyes had widened slightly. Didn't she know Bellatrix was coming?
"Go give her a hand, Draco", my mother said, gently pushing me in the direction of the kitchen.
"You seem surprised", I said when I reached the kitchen, out of hearing distance from my parents.
"I had been notified about a guest, but I hadn't exactly expected Bellatrix Lestrange to pass by" she mumbled, filling a kettle with water. She then looked up slightly shocked, as if she wasn't supposed to say that.
"Calm down", I chuckled, taking the pot from her and putting it on the stove. "I've just had the same talk so there's nothing to hide here." She looked at me for a while, trying to figure out what I was thinking. She often did that.
"So what do you think about it?" she asked eventually, clearly failing to read me.
"I think that it's going to be an interesting couple of years." I wasn't quite sure what I thought of it. Sure I had no doubts about my beliefs, but another wizarding war? I wasn't quite sure if that was exactly something to look forward to. I looked over to Eleanor and I was surprised by the scared look in her eyes. I had never really seen her like that.
"Are you okay?" I asked, taking the pot of boiling water from the stove and putting in the tea.
"Yes, I'm fine", she said, putting on that weird fake smile again. A smile you could look through right away if you just paid a little bit of attention. My mother's words rang in my head.
We know we're asking a lot of you, Draco, but you can do it. Stick to your beliefs and if you doubt, just make sure no one notices it.
My mother always spoke in double meanings. This sentence as well wasn't telling me to practice what my father had preached for almost 16 years, it told me to do my best to follow his lead and that it was okay to not agree. But if I didn't, I couldn't show anyone, because that had detrimental consequences in our case.
"Do you believe it?" Eleanor asked, her voice small.
"Believe what?" I frowned. It was quiet for a while, as if she was deciding whether to say it out loud or not. She glanced over her shoulder into the living room, but our parents were out of hearing distance.
"Do you believe that ... that muggleborns are a disgrace and that they should all die?" I could see that she was surprised by her own confession, as her eyes widened slightly. She was showing her doubts.
"Eleanor, what are you doing?" I asked, stepping closer so I could lower my voice. Her hands were trembling. Why was this affecting her so much?
"It's just a little overwhelming. I- I don't know what to think, -"
"Ellie, listen to me", I demanded. "Calm down." She looked up, her eyes still wide. I took her hands in mine to stop her from fiddling.
ELEANOR'S POV
I took a couple of deep breaths and let his touch calm me down. I had to get my emotions under control.
"Stop doubting it so much", Draco whispered. "I thought you were proud to be a pure-blood."
"I am", I said. I really was proud to be one, it meant that I was a strong witch. "But I hadn't expected Bellatrix Lestrange to just roll by for a cup of tea", I hissed. "She just broke out of bloody Azkaban."
"Because she's a Death Eater?" he asked softly. "Ellie, your father is a Death Eater, my father is one, if our side wins the Wizarding War, we'll most likely become Death Eaters too. What are you so afraid of?" There was that nickname again. Ellie. No one called me that and no one had ever called me that.
"I'm sorry", I sighed. "I just wasn't prepared for all of this."
"You can't be, you just have to let it pass by you and learn along the way. In the end it doesn't matter what you believe until you have to make a choice and right now it's way too early to make that choice. You just have to try to live up to the expectations until then."
He was right. I had to live up to the Selwyn expectations and I could do that. I had done so for almost sixteen years, so I could do it for a while more.
"I don't like to admit it, Selwyn, but you're a strong witch", Draco chuckled. "And good side or bad side, Bellatrix, Voldemort and all the other Death Eaters are really powerful wizards and witches. We should see it as an honour to be considered a part of that."
He was right, again. Personal beliefs or not, I was a Selwyn and Selwyns were on Voldemort's side. Selwyns were powerful and strong. My last name was my responsibility and this was my moment to earn it, to prove myself to these people.
"Thank you, Draco", I said, taking the kettle and pouring the tea in the cups I had prepared. "I appreciate it."
I grabbed the platter and turned off the stove.
"I didn't know making out with you made you such a softie", I whispered in his ear, before putting on a serious face and joining our families.
The fireplace lit up moments after I had put down the platter of teacups. I forced myself to act normal, as if the situation didn't faze me at all. How would my father act? He was the perfect example of how a Selwyn should behave.
"I'm sorry I'm late for the tea party", Bellatrix said, stepping out of the fireplace. She looked around until her eyes landed on the only person in the room she hadn't met before, me.
"Ah, Eleanor Selwyn, I was hoping I'd get to meet you", she said, walking over to me. She was quite a striking woman, but the glint that lingered in her eyes gave me a very wary feeling.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Lestrange", I said, straightening my back.
"Bellatrix will do", she said, snatching a cup of tea from the platter. "Eleanor, Eleanor, Eleanor, I have heard very little about you. Tell me, when is the wedding?"
"Excuse me?" I asked, blinking in confusion. Bellatrix sat down in one of the seats and swung her legs over the side.
"You and my little nephew of course."
"And why would I marry Draco?" I raised my eyebrows.
"You're not dating? Well, get a move on, it's inevitable", she huffed. No it wasn't.
"Is that so?" I asked, crossing my arms. My father shot me a look that told me to shut it.
"Oh, don't be ridiculous. A Selwyn and a Malfoy, that's simply something that must happen", she said as if it was the most logical thing in the world.
"I think I'd like to make that out for myself, thank you very much", I snapped. It was out before I realised it.
"Eleanor!" My father roared, but Bellatrix held up her hand, her eyes trained on mine. She stood up and walked towards me slowly. I held my head up high and forced myself to not move a muscle, even though the woman was scaring me endlessly.
Bellatrix put her index finger under my chin and lifted it up slightly. The silence in the room could be sliced with a butter knife.
"Hmm," Bellatrix mumbled, "I like you, Eleanor Selwyn. You've got fire."