Today is the dreaded day. Yesterday a dream, today a nightmare.
I stand in front of my floor-length gold gilded mirror in my underclothes, waiting to be fitted into my wedding dress. Safira is not smiling like I would have expected her to be, she looks upset, on the verge of tears. And today she alone is not going to dress me, she has been joined by three other servant girls. One red-headed, one with hair so dark it's almost indigo, and one the blonde from the day after my sister's funeral.
All of them scampering about like rabbits, speaking in almost-whispers and with brows creased with worry. Perhaps it's worry for me, or perhaps for themselves. I myself don't know what to feel...except dread.
The indigo haired one, Corvina if I can remember correctly, deftly laces up my ivory coloured corset. Then comes the rest the dress, with it's unfurling skirts of lace, silk, satin, pearls, gold embroidery and tulle. Corvina then proceeds to smooth out all the creases with her dainty, pale hands, pulling and tucking here and there until she's satisfied.
Now it's the red-head, Skylar's turn. She twists and pins and braids my hair elegantly before stuffing it with pearls, just like Safira did a couple of days ago. I have always thought pearls were pretty, but now they could not look uglier to me. I don't voice these thoughts though, only keep my mouth shut as Safira begins to paint my lips rose pink.
She draws a small golden dot underneath my right eye, an Aurelian tradition. The scarce make-up is finished off with the thickening of my lashes with some caked black lash-paint.
Then Corvina presses the pearl-studded comb into my hair and flips the translucent veil over my face.
"Thank you," I tell them.
The three girls all curtsy gracefully and leave me in my room.
I step into the white and gold slippers laid out on the floor in front of me and put on some simple pearl earrings. Sighing, I take the opal pendant full of vow dust from my vanity and, reaching beneath my numerous skirts, tie it to the garter at the top of my thigh so that it dangles against my leg. Secure, out of view, and most importantly, safe, where no one can take it.
Now I'm ready. As ready as I'll ever be.
The wedding will take place in the Aurelian cathedral, a grand gothic church on the edge of the House grounds. I will be escorted to the cathedral in a bridal carriage drawn by Kallistê. Bridal carriages are small and draped in translucent white tulle and silk embroidered with golden thread. The bride sits inside and the carriage arrives after everyone is seated. Then she steps out, hopefully gracefully, and walks down the aisle.
It's tempting, even now as I walk down to the carriage, to fantasize about cantering away on Kallistê and never entering the cathedral, but of course, that is not an option. Even if I did decide to do that I wouldn't get far before I was caught. Not far at all.
I step into the carriage and seat myself on the cushioned bench. It begins to move forward almost immediately at a steady pace a little faster than a trot. I sit with my hands folded neatly in my lap and my head bowed, the veil hiding my face brushing my legs.
I almost feel like crying, but I know I can't do that either. The shame would be unbearable. And besides, everyone is busy pretending this is a happy union, that they're glad it's happening. They don't fool anyone, certainly not themselves. I don't understand why they bother, but it would be cruel to burst their happy little bubbles with my tears, cruel to make it hard for them to pretend.
Well, not exactly cruel, but inconvenient for them. And I want to be remembered as the girl who sacrificed her life to aid Lord Merikh's downfall, not the girl who was married as she cried and who was not half as pretty or brave as her sister.
Because I am brave, and I'll be brave. And I won't cry. I won't shed a tear.
Not when all hope seems lost, not when I'm about to die and not while I'm getting married. I'll show everyone just how strong I can be.
With this resolution made, the carriage comes to a halt, meaning that I have reached the cathedral, and everyone is waiting for me to come walk down the aisle and be forever bound to the man responsible for Eveleen's death. I pick up the bouquet of dark yellow roses, the closest colour in nature to gold.
Trembling, I open the door of the carriage and step as carefully and gracefully as I can onto the white-rose petal scattered path before me. And I turn away. I turn away from the path and walk towards Kallistê, my beautiful horse who has seen me through so much, and who has always been so calm and gentle towards me.
I throw back my veil and place a tender kiss on her snow-white nose. She closes her dark moon-like eyes as I do this, and then opens them as I draw back. She whinnies softly as I carefully pull the veil back over my face and begin to walk down the aisle.
It seems as if all the Elysian nobility has shown up to my wedding. I spot the House of Seryen, the House of Wenderen, the House of Leucos, the House of Halcyon, the House of Ardor and the House of Ered. All seven houses, each sporting their traditional colours; sapphire, emerald, ivory, lilac, crimson and black, respectively. And at the front, my parents, clad in striking gold, each with their crowns that make them Lord and Lady.
I walk past all this, somehow managing not to trip and clutching my bouquet with both my hands.
And before I know it Lord Merikh is in front of me, offering me his hand of long, elegant fingers, a small smile on his face. I take his hand and stand beside him in front of the Aurelian pope, a kind soul who used to stroke my hair and tell me not to sin when I was younger. He looks rather sad as he begins his introduction, his lofty voice echoing against the high ceiling.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today," he says, "To join Crius Merikh, lord of Abluvion, and Elide of the House of Aurelia in holy matrimony commended to be honourable among all. The fourth recorded marriage between an Abluvion and an Elysian."
I wonder who the other three were.
"And therefore, this is not to be entered lightly, but reverently, lovingly, passionately and solemnly."
Reverence, love, passion, solemnness. Check, check, check, check. Defintely have all of those when it comes with Lord Merikh. I have to refrain from rolling my eyes, although it wouldn't matter if I did; no one can see my face underneath this veil.
"Into this, these two persons present will be joined."
The pope pauses.
"If there is any person, who can show cause why they should not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace,"
The church is silent.
I can see a few pained expressions in the audience in my peripherals, and several people seem on the verge of standing up, but everyone knows better than to disrespect Lord Merikh's wishes. the pope waits longer than he normally would before continuing, his cornflower-blue eyes sadly drifting across the room.
When everyone remains silent, he begins to speak again, quoting the bible and talking about love, and what marriage is really about.
Nobody ever listens to this part and I can feel the audience's attention waver along with my own. I turn my eyes to the window, wondering if Kallistê is still outside, waiting for me to return to her. Or perhaps someone has taken her back to the stables, probably Caelum. If he isn't lingering outside of the cathedral doors and listening in on the ceremony that is.
Yesterday...
Yesterday was beautiful, one of the most wonderful things that has happened to me in a long time.
The sunlight sifting through the trees, the chatter of the birds overhead, Caelum's fae-like laughter tinkling like bells. And the press of his lips on my own and on my skin...
I have to bite back a laugh. Here I am, getting married and fantasizing about another man. I'm breaking my wedding vows before I've even made them.
Speaking of wedding vows, it seems I've been daydreaming longer than I thought...
"...Do you, Crius Merikh, take Elide of the House of Aurelia to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and cherish her in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"
Until death do you part. That's not an awfully long time.
Three months...Three months and Lord Merikh is relieved of the vows he's about to make.
"I do," he says. That almost smirk is still lingering on his mouth. Teasing me almost.
I do not remember him smiling at Eveleen's wedding.
"And do you, Elide of the House of Aurelia, take Crius Merikh to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and cherish him, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"
Do I promise to plot his demise and search for the Abluvion stone in my every waking moment? Do I promise to avenge my beloved sister? To try and kill him and save myself?
Well, yes,
"I do,"