------ four ------
"Rise and shine. We're in hell."
That was how it felt, at least. Grace felt alone and loneliness was hell. It wasn't like she actually was alone this time. She was surrounded by eight other girls. Yet, she didn't feel connected to anyone. Sure, Shelby and her had been friends when they were thirteen, and Grace knew and liked Dot, but she wasn't close with either of them.
In a way, the blonde had envied Toni and Martha. They went on this journey together as best friends. Before the crash Toni's first instinct was to turn to Martha, hugging the girl. They did that a lot, hugging each other for comfort. Neither of them was alone and Grace doubted either of them felt lonesome.
When it came to Rachel and Nora however, who had known each other their entire life, they were different to Toni and Martha. They were as lonely as the rest of them. They didn't hug, or exchange words of comfort. Instead it was Rachel who mostly pushed Nora away. She still blamed her on everything.
The only one who managed to drift into a deep slumber the night before was Fatin, who was the only one still sleeping quietly too. Maybe a bit too quiet even.
"Fatin," Dot shook her awake, making sure she was still breathing. Grace caught a quick glance at the brunette's face. It was hilarious.
"What the... what the fuck? I was sleeping," she spoke annoyed and still half asleep. It made the blonde figure that Fatin Jadmani wasn't a morning person, not that had thought of her as one before.
"Yeah, well, I thought you were dead, dick," Dot defended in an equally bad mood, making Fatin go back to sleep, after pulling her hoodie over her face again. Grace just watched the scene amusedly from the side.
"6, 7..." Shelby counted, when she realised something. "People, we're missing one person." She was frightened as was the rest of them. Grace was already contemplating about what might have happened to the missing girl, when as if on cue, Leah appeared from behind the rocks.
Leah Rilke looked roughened up and defeated, guilty almost. But more importantly, she held a black, sketchy phone in her left hand. "It's Jeanette's," she spoke up, after staring blankly at the others. Then, turning around going back to the girl's grave, the rest following behind.
"It was in her pocket," Leah explained as they all stood around the makeshift grave "I heard it ringing but it didn't seem real. Not that anything does anymore. So, I followed the sound and I, um..." She had to stop, not wanting to think of what she had done next. Not even finding the right words.
"You frisked a dead body," Dot finished for her. Leah nodding in unsettling silence. Grace herself was disturbed by the thought of Leah having to search a corpse for a phone, not wanting to imagine how the brunette herself must have felt. And if that all weren't enough, she did it all in vain.
"But then when I finally dug it out of her pocket, it died in my hands. The weirdest part is, this is her second phone. The other one, we lost in the water, but this... this is an entirely different one. One that worked and one she chose not to tell us about. Isn't there something vaguely messed up about that. Not even vaguely. Deeply."
Grace watched as the anger rose up in Rachel's face, completely blending out the rest of her surroundings. She knew Rachel would snap anytime now. There was this certain look on her face that told.
"I'm just wondering, if maybe the simplest explanation might be the right one," Shelby started, getting Grace's attention away from Rachel. "So she had two phones. It's not that crazy. And she'd been knocked around so bad, she just... she probably just forgot," she concluded.
The cheerleader agreed "Jeanette wasn't just in shock, she was dying. I probably too would have forgotten about it, it's only human." And then it happened, Rachel snapped in her trance of pure anger, spitting right on the makeshift grave. Even she herself was appalled at her loss of self-control.
"Fuck," she whispered "Sorry."
"But, like, fuck her if she forgot!" she went on pointing to where Jeanette's body was resting. "That could have been our only way out," she breathed heavily, trying to calm herself down. Then starting again, only this time her anger was directed at Leah "But why didn't you wake us up?"
"I don't know," the brunette admitted.
"You... you don't know? You hear a phone, and instead of waking us up, you sit there and you contemplate what's fucking real and what's not so by the time you get to the phone..." the athlete continued.
"Rachel, it was confusing," Leah raised her voice a little.
"I'm not confused at all!" Rachel screamed at the brunette. "You could have found it before it died, but you didn't, did you?"
Having had enough of it, Grace decided to step in "So what, Rachel? Shit happened. The phone is dead - it died - and screaming at each other, won't change anything about that. Accusing each other, won't change anything. Thinking of ways, how it could have gone differently, won't change anything either. Okay, it's over, there's nothing we can do about it. We should just... try and think of a ways, how we can make it out of this hellhole, or at least how to survive here. So shut the fuck up."
Rachel gave her one last glare, before storming off. The others were stunned, a little impressed even.
"Well, were did that come from, blondie?" asked Toni, raising her eyebrow at the girl's outburst.
"You surprise me everyday, Grace," muttered Fatin.
------ four ------
"So you weren't mad at Jeanette and Leah," asked agent Young.
The blonde huffed, shaking her head. "Of course, I was mad," she denied, confusing the two man in process, while still intriguing them at the same time. Neither one expected her to answer that way. Once more, they realised how little they knew about the cheerleader.
"They both fucked up, like seriously fucked up. But like I said, it was over. There's no use in getting worked up about something that has already happened. The past is the past. We had to start to focussing on the future, on what we were gonna do next. And anyway, I don't know if hadn't screwed up too, being in Leah's or Jeanette's position," she explained. "So yes, I was quick to rid myself of any bad feelings towards either of them."
------ four ------
Grace sat with Martha and Toni at camp. She felt quite useless, sitting there doing nothing, only staring at the monstrous waves. But she didn't know what she could do to help. The last time she tried, she shouted at Rachel, not really helping with anything, other than making Rachel mad at her, instead of Leah.
Grace was angry most of the time. She was angry almost every day of her life. Yet, usually she didn't show it. Usually she didn't scream at people or said bad words. The island seemed to bring out the worst in her. Currently, she was like the waves that hit the shore, and not the calm, sweet girl from home, everybody knew and loved.
"I don't get it. I thought it was getting better," Martha said on the verge of tears as Toni checked her foot. Her ankle was in a deep shade of purple, but it was nothing too bad. During her career as a cheerleader Grace had seen and had several injuries worse than that.
"It's a sprain; they're always worse the next day," the blonde assured. "Trust me, I've had several over the years. You'll be better in no time," she tried to comfort Martha, knowing full well that although it wasn't anything serious, it still hurt like hell.
"Ah, fuck, not this worse," Toni said as she continued checking Martha's foot. Her concern was written all across her face. She was very easily read.
"Toni, your... your face isn't helping."
"What do you mean, my face isn't helping?" she asked, not knowing what to do. Totally overstrained with the entire situation.
"I mean you... you look scared," Martha whined. But there came Shelby, saving the day with a smile. Toni's mood only worsening.
"Is she doin' okay?" Shelby asked. "Ah, you're... you're gonna be just fine. Swelling just means your body's doing the job, all right?" Practically repeating what Grace had said before her, attempting to comfort Martha, though she, different to Grace, was successful.
"I got this, by the way," told Toni the blonde, wanting her as far away from her and Martha as possible. "She doesn't need like a ton of people crowding around her." Right before Martha released a cry of pain, making Shelby flinch.
"I was elevating it like you're fucking supposed to," she defended herself to her best friend.
Shelby spoke up from beside the raven haired girl, acknowledging her for the first time now. "Um, I think at this point it's better to immobilize than to elevate so that's my bad, Martha. I really should have splinted it yesterday," she apologised, how she always did, making it impossible for you to be angry with her or not forgive the girl. Shelby used to apologise to Grace when they were still friends.
------ flashback ------
Shelby Goodkind was a great friend. Something about her made you feel so special. The way she talked with and smiled at you. Oh, that smile. In Grace Hart's eyes, Shelby Goodkind was perfect; wise beyond her years, the most beautiful girl of the world, having the biggest heart and the voice of an angel.
At church, all Grace ever did was stare at her and listen to the girl singing, making each song sound lovely. Thus, she rarely ever knew what the pastor was talking about. It wasn't like her parents cared anyhow. They themselves only went because it was expected of them, to uphold their precious prestige. It was ironic, really, even though Maria Hart was named after the mother of Jesus Christ, she didn't really give a damn about him.
But Shelby cared a lot about him and church. So Grace decided to care about him too. If Jesus was so important to Shelby, why shouldn't he be important to Grace. The next time at church, she did her best listening to to the pastor. She even read the bible for her friend, not that she understood much or didn't find any parts contradictory or strange.
If Shelby liked something, she liked it too. She followed the girl like a loyal little puppy dog, much too eager to please, even more than she was with others. Shelby Goodkind was special after all.
------ four ------
"I was just thinking you probably should have splinted it yesterday," Toni argued, seeing how Martha looked up at the blonde. It was the same look Grace had given her all these years ago.
Shelby ignored her hostility completely, irritating Toni even more. "Just for FYI I was a candy striper at Amerillo General last year that the biggest obstacle to patient recovery is..."
"Is infection," Toni and Grace said in synch, the latter lying in the sand, bored to death, having shifted her gaze from the wild waves to the cloudy, grey sky.
"And... negative energy," she smiled sweetly at Toni. "I'll let you think about it while I go get this one a drink, okay?"
Only the thought of Toni's face after that comment, made Grace chuckle quietly. Toni was the only person, Grace had ever met that couldn't stand Shelby's guts. It made sense though, the two of them were polar opposite. That certainly wasn't hard to figure out.
Toni Shalifoe wasn't such an optimist or as angelic. She actually seemed like a real person. To be fair, Grace had put the blonde on a pedestal for half her life. At first glance, Toni seemed very tough, yet when you took a closer look, you could see how vulnerable the basketball player really was. Shelby had one secret the other girl didn't have and probably had more skeletons in the closet.
"We're taking a walk," Leah announced. "And you're coming with us, Texas," Rachel added. "You've already been out there, so you can lead the way." The two of them seemed to be okay again.
"Lead the way to what now?" Shelby asked confused at how rapidly everything seemed to happen. They pointed to towards a mountain, the highest point of the island, hoping to see they weren't all alone in that place.
"You know I'd be all in, but Martha..." she trailed off.
"It's fine. You should go," Toni said, trying to hide her enjoyment as she finally got rid of the blonde and her advice.
With that Toni decided to help Martha get better in a different way. It included less smiles and more water. She took her on her back and carried her to the rocks where the injured girl could cool her bad ankle in the cool water.
After repeatedly asking if she could help the raven haired girl and her declining to the cheerleader's dismay, Grace figured Toni just wanted to be alone with her friend, now that she got Shelby out of the picture. Who could blame her for that? With a sigh, Grace went back to lying in the sand, not taking long, before drifting off into a dreamless sleep.
------ four ------
written: 9th January, 2021