Courage to change - SIA
Chapter 18
*Flashback*
"What!?" Hoseok and Yoongi exclaimed at the same.
"Someone just called. They said they kidnapped your sister," Baekhyun stated with his eyebrows creased, giving him an anxious look.
"I don't fucking believe that! My sister called me earlier saying she just left with her class. She's returning to Seoul by tonight!" Yoongi shouted. Hoseok got startled seeing Yoongi like this, it wasn't often that Yoongi seemed genuinely rattled.
"Yoongi, I'm not lying, I swear."
"Yoongi, I think you should call up your sister. Make sure she's okay," Hoseok told him, putting his hand on his shoulder.
Yoongi looked at both of them nervously before grabbing his phone. He dialed his sister's number and put it on speaker. Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up, he thought to himself. He had never been this impatient to hear Jennie's voice before.
"Hello? Oppa? Why are you calling, is everything okay?" Jennie asked.
Yoongi sighed in relief. Jennie sounded fine. Nothing happened. He cleared his throat before responding,
"Yeah everything's fine, I just wanted to say Baekhyun's going to pick you up from the train station."
She chuckled. "Don't worry Yoons, I can manage myself."
"No Nini, it's too risky."
"What? Why? Is everything okay?"
He paused for a second. There's no point in alarming her before she got back to Seoul. It would probably be best to tell her about everything in person after he made sure she was safe.
"Yeah, just get here and I'll explain everything to you," Yoongi replied.
"Okay I'll see you soon oppa," Jennie said before hanging up the phone.
"Goddamn it!" Baekhyun shouted while kicking a chair. "It was a fucking set up by one of those bastards."
"I'm glad she's okay," Hoseok sighed in relief. Sometimes he had to remind himself of just what kind of life he was going to have to get accustomed to if he wanted to be near Yoongi. A life of kidnappings, shootings, and death. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise every time he thought about it.
"We need to take some sort of action soon. This shit's getting out of hand," Yoongi said.
"I think I should visit them tomorrow," Baekhyun stated, crossing his arms.
Yoongi shook his head. "It's too risky, Baek."
"Don't worry, I'll be wearing a disguise. I just have to figure out who's behind all this."
"We will soon, soon..." Yoongi reassured him. Once we do, they'll regret ever being alive, Yoongi thought to himself.
*End of flashback*
"Thank god you told her everything."
"Yeah. I think it's best if she stays here because I'm pretty sure they've gotten to my house."
"Yoongi, it's going to be fine, just don't stress too much about it," Hoseok said while getting inside the car and putting Yoongi on speaker.
"Yeah, I'm almost fully recovered. Then I'll go search for more evidence and clues. I know Robert knows the truth and I'm going to get it out of him, one way or another," Yoongi said with a voice that sounded almost too serious.
"Baby calm down, don't get too heated up. I'll come to visit you later today, okay?"
"What-wait a minute. Did you just call me baby?" Yoongi asked, with a sly tone. Hoseok could tell he was probably smirking.
"F-fuck," Hoseok cursed, biting the bottom of his lip as he realized what it was that he had just said aloud. Why do I never think before opening my goddamn mouth?
"Damn sweetheart, getting a little too quiet all of a sudden." Yoongi chuckled.
"Oh look, I'm already near my campus! I'll call you later, bye!"
Hoseok ended the call quickly and slumped in his seat, gripping and pressing his forehead against the steering wheel. God, I'm such an idiot, he thought to himself. Ugh.
____
"Taehyung?" Jimin said, poking Taehyung's shoulder.
"Hey, yeah. Sorry, I zoned out," Taehyung stated.
"What's wrong? Why are you so quiet all of sudden?" Jimin asked. Taehyung did have a kind of far-off look as if he was lost in troubling thoughts. "Did something happen with professor Jin?" Jimin asked.
"No, nothing, I don't really want to talk about it," Taehyung said as he closed his locker.
After last night he had to admit to himself how ridiculous his feelings for Seokjin were. How could he have ever even thought there was a possibility of them being together as a couple? Seokjin was his teacher and a married man. He felt like an idiot the whole night. A sad pathetic loser who kept dreaming of being with his muse. He couldn't sleep at all. He supposed it was better to find out early on before he made the mistake of confessing his feelings. Every time he thought of how that might have unfolded he wanted to shudder in fear. He could just imagine Seokjin's face, turning into a look of embarrassment. He also felt sadness, he hadn't ever felt this way before. His heart sunk every time he thought of encountering Seokjin. Was this what people say a broken heart felt like?
"Okay... But if you ever want to talk about it, you can tell me," Jimin said patting Taehyung's shoulder.
Taehyung nodded his head without saying anything and turned towards the hallway, intent on going to class. But as soon as he did he noticed Seokjin turning the corner and walking down. He tensed up and quickly said,
"Jimin, I guess I should get going now... I'll talk to you later." Taehyung walked away abruptly before Jimin could say anything, leaving him more perplexed than ever.
"I-, okay then," Jimin uttered.
Taehyung tried his best to quickly get out of there and make it towards the stairwell outside but couldn't. A loud voice stopped him in his tracks.
"Kim Taehyung!" Seokjin called out.
"Fuck," Taehyung cursed, biting his lower lip. He looked down towards the ground as he turned to face Seokjin.
"Can we talk in my office?" Seokjin asked in a calm manner.
"I-I have a class that I need to attend," Taehyung mumbled without looking up at him.
"I will write you a note explaining why you were excused. Now let's go to my office," Seokjin said before turning around and walking off. Taehyung begrudgingly followed him. God, why do you hate me so much? Taehyung thought to himself.
___
Namjoon was sitting outside the campus near the soccer field. He had just finished playing a match and was catching his breath a bit before going to the locker rooms. He took out his phone from his duffel bag and called up Yoongi.
"Hello?"
"Where have you been Yoongi Hyung? I've been calling for days," Namjoon said. He was pissed off. Truth be told, he didn't even expect Yoongi to pick up this time.
"Woah! Calm down Joon, I'm sorry I left without saying anything but some stuff happened that I had to take care of," Yoongi stated.
"So you leave without saying anything to your best friend? Do you have any idea how fucking messed up it is back home? I seriously can't live with this family anymore, I need to move in with you," Namjoon declared.
He could sense Yoongi sighing in exasperation. "Joon, you always see everything in such a negative light. You need to understand that Jackson really cares about you. Even though for you he's just your stepbrother, he doesn't see you like that. He sees you as his own blood," Yoongi explained.
Namjoon scoffed. "Wow! Seriously, now you're taking his side too?" His hand was shaking a bit.
"I'm not taking anyone's side here, I'm just trying to make you understand. I've known you and Jackson since we were kids. I can tell that Jackson is an amazing brother, just please try to talk it out with him about whatever it was that happened," Yoongi requested.
"You know what? I made a fucking mistake by calling you," Namjoon said before he hung up.
Namjoon put his phone down, resisting the urge to throw it across the field. He slammed his hand against the grass. "Fuck!" he shouted, as he ruffled his fingers through his hair and put his head down in between his knees.
___
"So, do you want to tell me why you haven't answered my emails?" Seokjin questioned, leaning back in his chair.
This was the last place and the last person Taehyung wanted to be around right now. He couldn't even look at Seokjin yet. It still hurt.
"I was going to ask my friend to model for my portrait instead," Taehyung stated.
"Okay, but why is that?" Seokjin asked.
"Our timing didn't match."
Seokjin looked at Taehyung who still had his eyes cast to the ground. He shook his head and sat up straight.
"Alright Mr. Taehyung, but next time don't waste my time if you're going to change your model. I don't tolerate disrespectful behavior like this because it's highly unprofessional, especially because I took the evening off for you when I could've spent it with my family. Next time, don't come to me asking for a favor if you're going to change your mind at the last minute."
"Y-yes sir I understand," Taehyung stuttered. This was going so much worse than how he had anticipated. That word stung him like a bee. My family. Oh god, was he a father too? Taehyung's cheeks started turning red in anger and embarrassment.
"You're excused," Seokjin said and nodded his head towards the door.
Taehyung immediately made a beeline for the door. He couldn't bear to see Soekjin's beautiful face full of anger, especially towards him. He closed the door shut behind him and felt his eyes get teary.
___
Jimin and Hoseok were both sitting beside each other at their desk in their media studies class taking notes for the assignment that was due in two weeks.
"Jimin, do you know what time we're going to the arcade?" Hoseok whispered.
"I'm not sure, Tae said to meet by the gates around 6 pm," Jimin whispered back.
"I have to leave around 9:30 because I have to babysit my aunt's kids," Hoseok lied.
"Yeah, we can't stay out long anyways since we have classes tomorrow."
"Okay class, good luck on your assignment, and see you next class!" The teacher said as everyone started putting their notes away and leaving the classroom. Jimin and Hoseok left as well and started to head towards the dance practice room.
"Should we start practicing without Tae?" Hoseok asked Jimin.
"Yeah, we might as well. I think Tae should be there soon," Jimin stated.
Hoseok nodded while they both walked down the hallway.
___
"This is bullshit," Yoongi said with a scowl.
"It's for your own good oppa," Jennie said, passing him the bowl of ramen.
"Yeah yeah I already heard that from Baek, don't add onto it."
Jennie rolled her eyes. "God, you're so annoying sometimes."
Yoongi mixed the ramen around, feeling the confinement of his room gnawing away at him. His phone started ringing so he quickly picked up the call, eager to talk to Hoseok. Communicating with him and Jennie was the only source of relief he found these days.
"Hello, missing me already sweetheart?" Yoongi chuckled.
Jennie looked at Yoongi and rolled her eyes, again.
"Yoongi, do you know how glad I am to know you're alive and not dead after being stabbed?" the deep voice on the other end asked.
"Seriously, now you're changing your voice?"
"Seems like you don't remember me that well Yoongi, let me refresh your memory. Do you remember how painfully your mom begged for your father's life?" the man chuckled.
Yoongi immediately sat up straight as a little bit of his ramen fell on him, but he was in too much shock to notice or care. He recognized this person. If this is who he said he was then this was the man who fucked his entire life up. Who deprived him of his mother's love and his father's affection, leaving him and Jennie a bunch of orphans. His hands turned into fists. All he wanted to do was somehow reach through the phone and strangle the person on the other line. Jennie noticed how rigid her brother became and removed the ramen, setting it aside on the side table. She put her hands up in a questioning gesture but Yoongi couldn't notice anything around him right now. His blood boiled.
"You fucking asshole, how the fuck did you get my number?" Yoongi shouted, getting up from his bed. The stab wound hadn't healed completely yet but he didn't care. No pain from any wound or injury could compare to the amount of anger and hatred that was building up inside him right now.
"Calm down Yoongi, maybe you should check up on your loved ones more often," the man said before hanging up the phone.
"Hello? What the hell do you mean by that? Hello!?" Yoongi realized the call disconnected and threw the phone at the wall, shattering it into pieces. "Goddammit!" Yoongi raged in anger.
"Yoons? What happened?" Jennie asked, rushing over to Yoongi and pulling him into a hug.
"Nothing," Yoongi said as he pulled away from her. He walked off and slammed the door behind him.
____
Taehyung walked into the dance room and noticed Hoseok and Jimin giggling as they were eating the McDonald's they ordered for themselves. He walked over towards them. Hoseok noticed him first.
"Hey, you're finally here? How did it go with professor Jin?" Hoseok asked.
"I mean I saw Tae run away from the professor earlier today, it was hilarious," Jimin giggled as he looked up at him.
"Damn, why do I always miss the legendary moments?" Hoseok lamented.
"Can we cancel tonight," Taehyung asked with a straight face. He immediately caught their attention. It seemed weird for some reason. Usually, Taehyung would tease them back or make a snarky comment but he seemed so dead inside.
"What, why? I was excited about today. I needed a break from everything," Hoseok stated.
"Well, I'm not in the mood anymore," Taehyung insisted, not breaking out of that stoic look he had.
"You're the one who suggested this, and now you're backing out?"
"Is everything okay Taehyung?" Jimin asked.
"Do I look okay to you?" he snapped.
"Hey," Hoseok said, getting up from his seat. "What the hell is your problem?"
Taehyung scoffed. "I just asked a simple question. Why are you getting so worked up?"
"Well, the way you said it seemed rude," Hoseok stated.
"What? Now I have to ask you before I ask a question?"
Jimin could feel sweat rising in him. "Guys please stop, let's just forget about this," Jimin said. He got up from his seat.
"Well you're being a rude asshole right now," Hoseok said, keeping his attention focused on Taehyung.
"Oh I'm the rude one now? Says the one who's always with that asshole Yoongi!" Taehyung yelled out.
Hoseok widened his eyes in surprise and immediately got pissed off.
"Yeah, so what if I am always with Yoongi? Now you're trying to find out what I do outside of school?" Hoseok raged.
"Wooow, I actually didn't know, I just assumed since you left with him at Chanyeol's party but thanks for finally confirming," Taehyung sneered.
"Wow real mature Taehyung."
"Says the one who's hanging out with a fucking bully, you're so pathetic and yet you're acting like you're the victim."
"You don't know shit about my relationship with Yoongi!" Hoseok argued.
"Yeah that's why you left the party to go fucking hook up with him." Taehyung started laughing in a sinister way. Hoseok could feel his whole body shake with anger. He started to walk over to Taehyung to do what? God knows. Jimin grabbed Hoseok by the arm before he could do anything.
"No, don't Hobi."
Hoseok looked at Taehyung with anger briefly before saying, "You know what you're not worth it. Screw you, I honestly regret meeting you." Hoseok shoved Jimin's arm and walked out of the dance room.
Jimin immediately turned toward Taehyung, with an irritated look. "You know what? I never expected this from you Tae," Jimin stated, walking out of the room.
Taehyung just stood there letting Jimin leave, realizing what had just happened. He threw his bag onto the floor. "Fuck!" he shouted.
Jimin ran after Hoseok calling out his name but by the time he could get outside, it was too late. Hoseok was driving away in his car.
"Shit!" Jimin cursed.
"Jimin?" a familiar voice called from behind.
"Jungkook?"
____
Taehyung headed to his locker to grab his stuff. All he wanted was to leave this goddamn school. As he started rummaging around his locker he saw a picture of himself with Jimin and Hoseok tucked in between his textbooks. He picked it up and looked at it. Their three smiling faces stared right back at him. He did feel guilty. He was only projecting his anger over what happened with Seokjin onto Jimin and Hoseok. He didn't mean what he said before. Suddenly his phone started ringing. It was his mom.
"Hello? Taehyung? What time are you coming home? There are guests coming over."
"I have classes, why do I need to be there?" Taehyung asked.
"Your dad's best friend who's also his business partner is bringing their daughter."
Taehyung leaned against his locker, unable to believe the conversation he was forced to be having right now.
"And why does that matter to me?"
"Do you want your phone taken away from you as well?" Taehyung's mom warned him.
He sighed and closed his locker shut.
"No, I'll be there," Taehyung said, hanging up the phone.
Taehyung started leaving the school. How could this day get any worse? First Seokjin getting pissed off at him, then arguing with Hoseok and driving him away, and now being forced to meet someone's daughter even though he was gay. Taehyung had embraced his homosexual identity ever since he realized he was gay as a kid but he could never come out to his parents. They weren't exactly the welcoming and familial type even on a good day. If they ever found out about him, they would probably disown him. It was hard living each day at home, pretending to be someone he wasn't. He couldn't wait to move out and just be himself. He longed for his freedom.
He was so lost in thought he didn't realize he crossed a red light at the intersection. By the time he noticed the big flashing white lights coming straight for him, it was too late. He was knocked down to the ground, rendered unconscious.
___
Hoseok parked his car and ran towards Baekhyun's hideout. He only had a single thought in his mind and he was determined to see it through. Ignoring the guards who shouted out after him he ran inside and up the stairs until he got to the apartment upstairs. He ran down the hallway and knocked at the door at the end of it consistently until Jennie opened it.
"Hoseok-ssi?"
"Where is he?"
"Yoongi? He's in the room-."
Hoseok walked passed her, heading towards Yoongi's room.
"By the way, he's in a bad mood but I guess you're going to ignore me as well," Jennie mumbled after him, but he wasn't listening. He needed to do this.
He opened the door to Yoongi's bedroom and saw Yoongi sitting down at the edge of the bed. His heart started racing upon seeing him. He clenched his hands and walked over to him. Yoongi looked up at Hoseok with a surprised look and stood up.
"What are you doing-?" Before he could finish his sentence Hoseok grabbed Yoongi by the waist, leaned inwards, and planted his lips onto his.
____
"This whole argument is making me think, what if it's the end of our friendship?" Jimin asked anxiously.
"Jimin, don't think like that. Arguments always happen between friends, it's normal," Jungkook reassured Jimin, patting him on the shoulder.
"I know that, but it's just... I never knew Yoongi and Hoseok were seeing each other."
"Wait what?" Jungkook asked as his eyes widened. He was completely surprised.
"I think they both like each other," Jimin said.
"Wait, do you mean as in, they both like men?"
"Yeah, why?" Jimin asked with a surprised tone.
"Oh," Jungkook said before chuckling. "Now, I understand what Yoongi and Namjoon meant by that."
"What are you even talking about?"
"I'm saying, now I understand why Yoongi Hyung never dated girls."
"Wait, you don't have a problem with a guy liking another guy do you?" Jimin asked hesitantly. He wasn't sure if he wanted to find out the answer to that.
"No why would I? As they say, don't judge a book by its cover."
Jimin sighed in relief. At least Jungkook didn't have a problem with it per se. Maybe... no, he shouldn't jump to conclusions. If he starts dreaming about a life with Jungkook like that, only to find out it can never be possible, it would leave him heartbroken. But then again, what if the answer was something else? He looked at Jungkook, who was leaning back on his elbows and looking up at the sky. What if? Just maybe...
"What about you?" Jimin blurted out. Shit, why did he just do that? He looked at Jungkook who had a questioning look.
"What about me?" Jungkook asked.
"About g-guys," Jimin stuttered.
"Jimin, I'm straight, you already know that. Hey, but listen I have to head to soccer practice. Let's meet up later on today?" Jungkook asked.
Jimin nodded his head, unable to say anything. That's what he got for hoping. A huge fucking disappointment. Jungkook pulled Jimin into a hug but Jimin couldn't bring himself to wrap his arms around him. Every time he did, he wanted more. He craved it. But now he got his answer. He'll never be able to get what he truly wanted.
"See you later Hyung," Jungkook said with a smile. He stood up and walked off.
Jimin sat back down on the steps of the school, watching the love of his life walk away. He was filled with a sense of incredible sadness. Jungkook will never love him the way he wanted him to love him. He'd always be his best friend. Only his best friend. Nothing more.
Love always comes with pain. I'm never going to have a perfect romance.
I'm afraid to let you see the real me because I know it won't be the same if I confess what I feel towards you, and I'd rather have you in my life as a best friend than experience those years without you in it at all. I wish I never had these feelings for you Jungkook, things would be so much easier. Jimin took the ring out of his pocket and held it in his hand.
One of us was always bound to get hurt, and now I've confirmed it's going to be me. There's nothing else I can do. I need to find some sort of courage, the courage to change what I feel for you. It's going to be painful, but I have to, for both of us, Jimin thought to himself as he looked down at the ring.
________
Happy Birthday Jhope<3
*chapter re-edited on September 3rd 2022*