Chapter 54
I been contemplating... meditating.
Shoulda waited... shoulda never dated.
With my phone on DND, Jhene Aiko's voice is the only one allowed in. It's taking everything in me not to cry as I lay in bed staring at the cieling. My satin pink pillowcase is soaked with tears. I don't think it could handle another drop.
That's not the reason I'm blinking back tears though. I'm just sick of being a stupid, sad bitch. Even I know I have to pick a struggle.
It's been two days since I found out the truth. I feel like I've been living on The Truman Show for the last seven months. Nothing is what I thought it was. Caesar ain't who I thought he was.
"So you trust Caesar but not me?" Ace asked at the cemetry. The truth is, I trusted Caesar more than him. Caesar was my rock when Ace left. He saved me in more ways than one. I mean, the nigga even helped me get away with murder.
I just don't understand how he can be the same person that snitched on my brother, set Tory up, and got Jonah killed. How is it that the one person that's been making me feel better is also the cause of all my pain?
I can't believe I really thought we were making progress this time. Things have been so good between us these last few weeks. I guess that should have been my first clue. All I've ever gotten was heartbreak from Caesar. I should have known things were too good to be true. If I did, maybe Tory would still be alive.
I wipe the tears that are crawling down my cheeks. I told myself I wasn't gonna cry anymore. That's all I've been doing the past two days. It's time I put on my big girl panties and focus on the real issue at hand.
When I left Caesar's house, I was so sure I was gonna' tell Ace everything. I even drove to The Loft, but I couldn't get out the car. I saw what Ace did to the last person he thought was a snitch. As much as Caesar hurt me, I couldn't just serve his head up on a silver platter. I put my car in reverse and backed out of the parking lot.
Now here I am two days later, weighing the pros and cons of telling Ace the truth. On one hand, there's no telling what Caesar has already told Guiterrez. For all I know, SWAT could be getting ready to break down our door any minute. The sooner I get Ace out of town, the better.
On the other hand, I can't just ignore what Caesar said. He promised he had a plan in place that would get that Fed Bitch off Ace's back forever. Not to mention, it would be nice to see that bitch go down for Tory's murder. But, after everything I just learned, I don't know if I can trust Caesar. He could just be making shit up to buy himself time to get out of the city before I tell Ace. Then again, if that was the case, I doubt he'd be calling and texting me as much as he is right now.
The only reason my phone is on 'Do Not Disturb' is so I won't have to read another message from Caesar practically begging for his life. I know he's scared, but he ain't the only one. Like he said, Ace is facing life in prison for killing Gecko plus whatever time he's added on by being on the run. I can't risk seeing my brother behind bars for the rest of his life. I need him and so does the rest of my family.
I can't imagine what kinda breakdown Mama's gonna' have if Ace gets sentenced to life. Paryis will never be the same again. And I've lost too many people already. I don't think I'll be able to shake back if I lost Ace too.
Ugh! I fucking hate Caesar. I hate him for everything he's done, but I mostly hate him for putting this pressure on me. I can't be the one thing standing in the way of Ace's freedom but I also can't be the reason he goes to jail.
I don't know what to do so for now I'm just listening to music.
I pace around the living room with my phone pressed to my ear. I hold out hope that Candyce will answer the phone this time, but once again I reach her voicemail.
"Fuck!" I yell.
I throw the phone on the table and pace some more. My mind running a mile a minute. I ain't been able to think straight since Candyce walked in on me and Guiterrez. It's been radio silence on her end ever since. For all I know she could have told Ace already. That nigga could be rounding up the hitters and putting a price on my head as we speak.
Fuck it, I think.
It won't hurt to text her ass again. I sit down on the couch and pick up my phone off the table. I send her another message that she prolly won't read, but I don't give a fuck. I gotta do sum'n. I can't just sit around and hope for the best. Too much is weighing on Candyce keeping her mouth closed.
I grip the phone in my hand as I wait for a message that ain't never gon' come. I grip it so tight I think I might break this bitch.
Think, nigga. Think.
I can't make Candyce talk to me. I ain't got no way of knowing if she told Ace yet or if she will. It's starting to seem like everything is outta my hands so maybe I should stop tryna save everybody and just save myself.
Keyana still up in Colorado. Maybe I should head up there. I know she ain't fuckin' with me right now but we got kids together. Plus I know Key. She wouldn't let them miss out on the opportunity of having their dad around just 'cause she ain't my biggest fan these days.
Shit, the more I think about it, the better it sounds. We can take the kids and lay low until Guiterrez is done sniffing our trail.
I still wanna' get Ace out from under this, but I ain't gon' be no sitting duck. I ain't waiting around to see if I'ma make it to the end of the week or not.
I toss my phone on the table and stand up. I hate to leave like this but I gotta do what I gotta do. My mind made up. At least I know I tried to do the right thing. This shit just outta my hands now.
I walk up the stairs and into my bedroom. I walk into the closet to grab my duffle. While I'm in there, I start yanking shit off the hangers and throwing it inside the bag. I'm halfway through when I hear a sound in the distance. I pause and listen.
I recognize the sharp shrill for what it is. A ringtone.
Candyce.
I almost slip on the hangers on the floor tryna run out the closet. I don't let that stop me though. I jet down the stairs like the cops behind me.
I run into the living room and snatch my phone off the table. It ain't 'til I see the black screen that I realize that's not even my iPhone ringtone. I smack my teeth and look at the flip phone Guiterrez gave me on the other side of the table. The small screen on front is lit up with a blue light.
I toss my phone on the couch and pick up the flip phone. I'm so pissed off I snap it open without even checking who's calling. It don't matter who on the other end of this line 'cause it ain't who I want it to be.
"What?" I bark into the phone.
"Who is this?" Some nigga says.
"Nigga you called my phone. Who the fuck is this?" I ask.
"Oh s-sorry. It's Officer Lake. Last time you told me to be sure it's you before I start talking," He says.
I sigh.
I rub my forehead with one hand. All the stress of trying to get in touch with Candyce is weighing on me. I'm starting to feel a headache coming on.
"My bad man. Wassup?" I ask.
"Good news. The Chief finally agreed to the terms. Five years in prison in exchange for a written confession and the evidence we have on Guiterrez on the flashdrive," Lake says.
I raise my eyebrows. I gotta sit down after hearing that shit. Relief fills my chest, but it ain't long before worry lines start to form on my forehead. Now that it's a done deal, I gotta explain what's about to go down to Keyana and the kids. I need to make sure Key understand ain't no other nigga gon' be playing daddy to my kids while I'm gone and that Amir knows it's only temporary.
In the midst of that, another thought occurs to me.
"Guiterrez' arrest. You think it'll make the news?" I ask.
Officer Lake chuckles.
"I hope so. I mean the department could really use that kind of publicity right now. We lost a lot of supporters over what happened to that Ortiz kid this summer. I think this arrest will help reel them back in. Arresting a crooked FBI agent will show people that justice is still our top priority. Why?" Lake asks.
He sound excited so I ain't gon' rain on his parade but that's not what I wanted to hear.
"There's just some explaining I gotta do before this shit hits the news," I say.
"Well I hope that explanation doesn't run too long. The chief of police is expecting you and that flashdrive by no later than 8 o'clock tonight," Lake says.
I lean back on the couch.
"So I walk in there with this incriminating evidence. What happens next?" I ask.
"You'll play the recording for The Chief. Once he confirms it's as bad as we say it is, he'll sign the informant paperwork which essentially seals the deal. I already drafted up a confession based on what you told me and what I heard on the recording. All you have to do is sign the dotted line and we'll handcuff you. I can promise you, you and Guiterrez will be sharing a cell by tonight," Lake says.
Damn so I'll no longer be a free man come nightfall. It's a lot to wrap my head around. But fuck it, this what I been waiting for. Aint no way around it. "You reap what you sow" that's what Beatie used to say.
"Aight, I'll meet you at the station," I say.
"We'll be waiting on you," He says.
"Oh, and Lake?"
"Hm?" He asks.
"Good lookin'," I say.
I hang up before he can think of some corny shit to say back.
Against my better judgment, I try to call Candyce one more time. When she doesn't answer, I leave a voicemail.
"Wassup, Red. I don't need to say who this is 'cause I know you seen that fuckin' phone ringing," I say.
Then I drop the tough guy shit and sigh.
"I know you mad at me right now but we need to talk. I'ma be going away for awhile and I need you to understand some things before I go. I want you to know why I did what I did. If we don't get a chance to talk, just know I never meant to hurt you or Ace. I'll do anything for y'all. But anyway, I love you. Call me back," I say.
I hang up the phone and pray she gets back to me before they slap them cuffs on my wrists. But first things first, I need to get some shit in order. I managed to put some money aside while I was in charge of Ace's business. I'm gonna wire everything I have to Keyana's account. That should hold them over for awhile while I'm locked up.
The wire transfer shouldn't go through till' tomorrow so I'll have enough time to explain shit to her later. Right now I gotta do what I gotta do.
I fire up what's left of the weed from Cali and lay my head back on the white couch. I blow O's in the air while the smoke infiltrates my lungs. After a few more puffs, I ash the blunt and get back to work.
Now that Cam is gone, it's up to me to keep track of how much money we have so that I'm never caught with my dick in my hand again. It's downright embarrassing having to ask a plug for more time 'cause I'm short on money. It's not a good look for anybody in the game especially not a nigga that's as established as I am. I'll tell you what though. I bet that shit won't happen again.
It can't happen again. After all, I can't rob and kill Angel twice and he was the only nigga of his stature for miles. I can't afford to be that desperate again. I gotta make the rest of the money I stole from Angel last just in case I don't sell enough of Keela's product. I know I'm thinkin' ahead but it's only 'cause I gotta feeling it's gon' take a while to get my business back in good standing.
It's a good thing I'm a patient man though. I know the best things come to those who wait. That's why I got no doubt in my mind that it's gon' be me taking Angel's place next.
I stick a couple blue bills in the money counter and press start. Then I pick up a stack of dead presidents from the other side of the table and start counting it by hand. Once the money counter is done, I jot down the number it displays. Then I replace the stack in the money counter with the one I just counted by hand.
I wrap a rubber band around the money I'm holding. Then I toss it in with the pile of money I already counted.
I been doing this at The Loft for the last two hours. It's a tedious process made longer by my smoke breaks. I ain't trippin' though. It ain't like I got shit else goin' on today. For once there ain't no fires I gotta put out. Today is the first slow day I've had since coming back home and I'm grateful for it especially now that I done smoked the last of my stash from Cali.
That weed was 'posed to last me at least a month. I smoked that shit in one week fuckin' with these people. I expect shit to stay at a standstill now. After all, a nigga can only deal with so much drama sober.
After thirty minutes, I reach my limit. I feel the smoke cloud my brain. I lose count on the money in my hand. My eyelids droop.
All I wanna do is lay back and let the fog carry me away. Eventually I stop fighting it. I lay my head back on the couch and close my eyes.
...
I slowly open my eyes. Red and orange sunlight cast over me. I glance at the windows behind me. The sun is low in the sky.
"What the fuck?" I mumble.
It was early afternoon when I went to sleep. Now I don't know what time it is.
I must've fell victim to a weed coma. My mouth dry as fuck. I gotta stale taste in it and my back hurt from laying on this couch. I was so gone I ain't even think about goin' upstairs to sleep in the bed.
I look around the room. My eyes land on the money on the table. Everything appears to be in order but you never know.
"Yo, Cal!" I call.
A minute later Calvin sticks his head in the door.
"Wassam, boss?" He asks.
"I fucked around and passed out in this bitch. Anything happen while I was out?" I ask.
Calvin shakes his head.
"Anybody come in?" I ask.
"Nah. It's been quiet," He says.
I nod my head. Calvin closes the door to finish guarding it. I yawn and stretch. Then I check my phone.
There's a few notifications but only one stands out. It's a message from Caesar:
I know we had our differences but some shit going down. I need to rap with you.
I furrow my eyebrows and sit up on the couch.
Every instinct I have tells me to ignore the message but I can't. I know Caese. He know better than to hit me after everything that's happened unless it was important. Despite everything he's done, I can't leave him hangin'.
I'm at The Loft all day today. Fwm, I write back.
I sit my phone down and grab the blunt from earlier out the ashtray. I spark up as I eye the phone waiting for a message back.
I let smoke out through my nose.
I wonder what this shit about, I think.
Every time I think I've made up my mind another song comes on that changes it. I know I'm wasting time, time that could be used to get Ace out of the city, but this ain't a decision to be taken lightly. With this decision I hold not only Ace's future in my hands, but also Caesar's.
Apart of me wishes Ace would just find out on his own. If Caesar was man enough he would tell him himself. But I think this whole situation proves Caesar is less of a man than I thought he was. He's waiting on me to clean up his mess for him.
Speaking of the Devil, I haven't had a missed call from him in hours. This is the first time I've been able to think without distractions clouding my judgment. It turns out I actually miss those distractions. Before, I could avoid making a decision 'cause I couldn't think clearly with Caesar blowing up my phone. Now I'm hiding behind my music simply 'cause I don't wanna' make a decision.
Even now I close my eyes and tune out to my headphones.
For awhile I try to forget the situation I'm in and just focus on the music. I allow the lyrics to take me away, but it's not long before reality rears its ugly head. Since Apple Music shuffle sucks, I eventually have to get up to change the song.
As I unlock my phone, I notice an unfamiliar icon next to dozens of missed calls at the top of the screen.
"New voicemail?" I whisper.
It's no surprise Caesar blew up my phone. He's been calling me around the clock since I left his house. But in all that time, he's never left me a voicemail. He's sent plenty of voice memos in text, but no voicemail. I mean, who even uses that anymore?
Curiosity gets the better of me so I redial voicemail. I've never had to use it until now so I go through the process of setting up one and creating a pin. Once I'm done, an automatic voice tells me I have one new message.
I press '1' to hear it and put the phone to my ear.
"Wassup, Red. I don't need to say who this is 'cause I know you seen that fuckin' phone ringing," His deep voice comes through.
I roll my eyes.
"I know you mad at me right now but we need to talk. I'ma be going away for awhile and I need you to understand some things before I go..."
My heart folds in on itself. Caesar's leaving?
It's just like I thought. He's running just like he did three years ago. Anytime shit gets hard or too much to handle Caesar skips town. I just can't believe he'll leave Ace hanging like that. Leave me hanging like that.
Was he lying when he said he a plan in place? Was this his plan all along? To throw Ace under the bus and disappear?
I think back to Keyana. That bitch still in Colorado as far as I know. Maybe he planning on going there.
What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Do I tell Ace and stop Caese from ever making it to the airport?
No, I ain't got the heart. Plus I'm thinking too far ahead. Instead of jumping to conclusions, I just call him back.
I sit on pins and needles waiting for him to answer. It goes straight to voicemail.
That's what you get, I think to myself.
Caesar was blowing my phone up not even three hours ago and I was ducking and dodging every call. Now here I am struggling to get in touch with him. The irony isn't lost on me.
I redial his number, hoping he'll answer. I get out the bed and start pacing the room. There's a tight knot in my stomach. I try to tell myself it's because I'm worried about Ace's future but that's not entirely true.
Despite everything, I don't want him to leave. At least not yet. Not until I've fallen out of love with him. If not, it'll be like being fifteen and abandoned all over again.
I need to collect the pieces of myself he stole from me before he runs away with them again. If not, I don't think I'll ever be whole again.
The ringing sounds in my ear while I wait for Caesar's deep baritone voice to come through.
I pull up to The Loft and take my keys out the ignition. My phone lights up from where it's sitting in the cup holder. Candyce's name flashes across the screen.
I decline the call and put my phone in my pocket. As much as I wanna' talk to her, now ain't the time. I'll call her back after I'm done talking to Ace.
I know there's a chance that she already told him but I'd like to think she ain't sell me out without at least giving me a head's up. I'm putting a alot of trust in her but I don't think it's misguided. Candyce may be mad at me now, but you don't stop loving somebody overnight. At the end of the day, I know she don't wanna' see no harm come my way. So with that in mind, I'm doing my best to get out in front of the situation.
To ensure I make it out this meeting alive, I've decided not to tell Ace more than I have to. I'll just tell him I got caught up for some shit back in New York and now they got me on the hook for five years. If Candyce decides to tell him the whole truth or if he hears it on the news, I'll just deal with it later.
Who knows? Maybe Ace will be more understanding of what I did once I'm sitting behind bars and he's not.
I go inside The Loft and ride the elevator up to the fourth floor. Rico's guarding the elevator doors when I get off. I ain't seen him since Simon and Cam hit a lick on the stashhouse he was guarding. His face is still bruised and his lip busted but other than that he's still standing. All in all it's a much better look than the last time I saw him.
I dap him off. Then I head down the hallway. I recognize Calvin standing guard at one of the doors.
"He in there?" I ask.
Calvin looks me up and down like I ain't the nigga who put him in this position.
"Yo, Ace you gotta visitor," He says through the door.
"Who is it?" Ace asks.
"Caese," Calvin says.
He keeps his eyes on me the entire time.
"Let 'em in," Ace says.
Calvin opens the door. I mug his bitch ass on my way in.
Inside Ace is sitting on the couch. On the table in front of him is an empty Ziploc bag with weed residue in it. There's half a blunt in the ashtray next to it along with stacks of money and his gun. His eyes are low but they ain't red so either he's coming down from a high or just getting started.
"What's goin' on?" Ace asks.
I grab a seat next to him on the couch. I sit my elbows on my knees. Before we can talk about why I came here, I gotta man up to some shit first.
"I know shit ain't been good between us since you got back home. I dropped the ball when it came to yo' business and I know that situation with Candyce ain't help," I say.
Ace shifts uncomfortably next to me.
"Fuck you gettin' at, bruh?" He asks.
"I just came to tell you that I'm going upstate for awhile. I'll be gone for five years," I say.
Ace furrows his eyebrows.
"What?" He asks.
I lean back on the couch.
"They got me on the hook for some shit I did back in New York. They been on my ass for awhile now. My lawyers been tryna talk them down and they finally agreed to a deal. I do five years, a couple years on probation and then I'm out," I say.
"Wait, so what they got you for?" He asks.
I hesitate but then I remember every great lie has some truth to it.
"Solicitation to commit a murder," I say.
Ace raises his eyebrows.
"Had some enemies you was tryna get rid of?" He asks.
I chuckle.
"Yeah, something like that," I say.
Ace shakes his head.
"And you couldn't take care of it yoself?" He asks.
"I don't always like to get my hands dirty, nigga," I say.
Ace scoffs.
"I thought you'd understand that since you use the hitters," I say.
"Yeah but I don't have to worry 'bout my hitters snitching on me or not finishing the job," He says.
"I used to say the same thing 'bout my niggas," I say.
"Well I guess you just a bad judge of character then. Looks like we both got that in common," Ace says.
It's hard not to catch the bitterness behind his words. That's just a reminder that shit ain't all good between us. I might as well get around to what I came here for so we can wrap this conversation up.
"Well that's why I wanted to rap with you before I go in. I know shit ain't perfect between us but I at least wanted to clear the air. I mean, none of this shit gon' matter by the time I get out. I don't expect Candyce to wait on me and I know you gon' been then undid whatever damage I did to yo' business. Shit, who knows? You might even be king of the city," I say.
Ace smirks.
"Shit, maybe. We'll see," He says.
The air between us is a little bit more relaxed when he starts talkin' again.
"You talked to yo' baby moms? I know you got a lil' one on the way. How you feel about missing the first few years of his life?" Ace asks.
I sigh.
"I ain't talk to her yet. I know she gon' be mad as fuck so I might just wait to call her from jail. That way I only gotta hear her shit for 15 minutes," I say.
Ace laughs. Meanwhile the reality of leaving my kids gnaws at me. I stare at the ground.
"But as far as my kids, I don't know, bruh. It's hard imagining them growing up without me especially my baby boy. I just can't think about that shit though. I gotta do what I gotta do," I say.
That's been my motto all day. It's the only thing keeping me going.
Ace taps my arm. I look over at him.
"Don't trip on that shit, man. You got all yo' life to be a dad. They prolly won't even remember the years you was gone in the grand scheme of things," He says.
I shrug.
"Prolly. I just know I gotta make that shit up to them when I get out," I say.
Ace nods. It's quiet for a moment before he breaks the silence.
"You talked to Candyce yet?" He asks.
"Nah. We got into it. She ain't been hitting me back," I say.
"Well look, I don't wanna' get involved in whatever the fuck y'all got going on but you should tell her before you get locked up. She deserve to hear it from you," Ace says.
I nod my head.
"I know. I'll try to get word to her by tonight," I say.
"So when you turn yoself in?" He asks.
"Tonight."
"Damn," Ace says.
He checks the time on his phone.
"Cutting it kinda close, huh?" He asks.
"Fuck them people. They 'boutta be seeing my face for the next 5 years. They can wait," I say.
Ace chuckles.
"But nah foreal though, I should prolly head out if I wanna chop it up with Candyce before I go," I say.
Besides it's already 7:35pm. I promised Lake I'll be at the station by 8.
I stand up and Ace follows. We dap off.
"Hold yo' head up. Them five years gon' fly by. And don't worry 'bout yo' kids. I'ma look out for 'em while you gone," He says.
"I appreciate that, bruh. Good lookin'," I say.
"Of course. Family always look out for family," Ace says.
I can't help but smile. It's good to know that word still applies to me. It reminds me that I ain't doing all this for nothing.
We pull each other into a manly hug. It don't last long before Ace pushes me off.
"Besides I got five years to stop being mad at yo' ass. You better hope that's enough time," He says.
I smirk.
"Yeah whatever. See you in 5, nigga," I say.
I walk to the front door with my heart feeling lighter than it did when I first came in. I head to the elevators with a small smile on my face.
Shit, that went better than I expected. I know that was 'posed to be a farewell but I can't lie. I hope I still gotta brother at the end of this.
I ride the elevator down to the lobby. Then I head outside to my car.
On my way there, I pull out my phone. I start to type a message to Candyce letting her know I'm 'bout to pull up on her.
"I ain't expect to see you here."
I stop mid-message and look up. I zero in on the black SUV in front of me. The windows are tinted so I can't see inside. The passenger window is rolled down and a familiar face sticks his head through.
Simon.
"Word on the street is you and Ace beefing," He says.
My body temp instantly rises. This the first time I've seen him since Reese died. I can't believe he was bold enough to show his face on this side of town again.
I mug the fuck out him.
"Fuck you doing here, nigga?" I ask.
"I was looking for Ace but here you are. Wrong place at the wrong time just like Jonah," Simon says.
I smack my teeth.
"Man ain't nobody got time for yo' sob stories. Save that shit for somebody who care. I asked what you doing outside my bro headquarters. You gotta know you ain't welcome here after that shit you pulled," I say.
Simon shakes his head.
"I'd be careful who I call bro if I was you. The last person who called Ace that took the bullets that was meant for him," He says.
The back window rolls down.
"I hope you ready to do the same," Simon says.
The wheels in my head start turning too late. The first and last thing I see is a machine gun hanging out the window.
I inhale a sharp breath.
POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!
I furrow my eyebrows as shots ring out. It could just be some dumbass niggas shooting too close for comfort but you never know. I grab my gun off the table just in case.
Suddenly, the front door opens. I up my gun without a second thought. Calvin freezes in the doorway.
I sigh as I lower my gun.
"My bad, bruh," I say.
"You good?" He asks.
"Yeah, man. The fuck goin' on out there?" I ask.
"I don't know. I'm 'boutta go check it out right now," He says.
"Aight, let me know. And tell Rico to keep his head on a swivel," I say.
Cal nods as he pulls the door closed.
I doubt it's anything worth worrying about, but I keep my gun by my side anyway. I really ain't got shit to worry 'bout though 'cause I know Rico gon' shoot if it come down to it.
I'd say the same about Cal, but there's a reason I put that nigga on the front lines. I ain't saying he expendable. I'm just saying I ain't really been around that nigga long enough to know what he'd do in a sticky situation. Hopefully tonight ain't the night I have to find out.
As I wait on Cal to report back, I start to realize he might not be alone out there. Caesar just left. There's a chance he could still be out there.
I don't even give the thought time to marinate. Just the idea of Caesar being out there while niggas is shooting is enough to launch me into action. I grab my gun and run straight for the door.
I fly down the hallway. Rico furrows his eyebrows as I run up to him at the elevators.
"Ace, you good?" He asks.
I don't answer. I just jam my finger into the elevator button. Cal must've rode the elevator down to the lobby 'cause it's taking too long to travel back up. I don't have time to wait around so I jet for the stairs instead.
Rico's calls after me is muffled by the stairwell door closing behind me. I run downstairs with my heart pumping in my throat. I'm thinkin' the worst of the worst right now but I'm praying I'm wrong. Hopefully Caese is already on his way to talk to Candyce.
I hate the idea of them being together but anything is better than what I'm thinkin' right now.
I throw open the stairwell door and run into the lobby. I catch a glimpse of Calvin standing outside. He ain't shooting so I guess that's a good sign. Maybe shit ain't as bad as I thought it was.
I loosen my grip on the gun as I walk towards the main entrance. As I get closer, I hear a familiar voice loud and clear.
"You coming or not, nigga?!"
I pause in my tracks. That better not be who I think it is.
I push the entrance door open but it doesn't swing back all the way. Something is blocking it. I squeeze through the opening in the door and look down at what it's caught on.
My soul instantly leaves my body. I stand there hollow inside staring down at the body of my best friend. My brother. Caesar.
I pull in a shaky breath. I tune everything else out as I stare down at him. It takes every bit of strength I have not to the hit the pavement.
By the time I finally peel my eyes away from Caesar, shit is already in motion. I watch Calvin run to a black SUV parked against the curb.
I think about the fact that Calvin volunteered himself to come out here and see what was going on after the shots rang out. Now that I think about it, who volunteers to go outside alone after hearing a nigga shooting? Only a nigga who know they ain't in danger of being shot.
It was a set up.
Calvin probably told them niggas that Caesar was here.
I don't get why he would want Caesar dead, but what's done is done. His reasoning don't matter. All I know is Caesar is dead and that nigga Calvin jumping ship. Somebody gon' pay for this.
I start to raise my gun at the car but my whole body goes numb. And it ain't just 'cause of what I witnessed. It's also 'cause of what I'm seeing now.
Sitting in the passenger seat of the black SUV is also my brother. My lil' brother. Simon.
We lock eyes. My finger twitches on the trigger, but I can't lift the gun. Caesar's dead on the ground and his killer is still here. And yet, my hand doesn't move.
That's my brother. I watched him grow up. I helped raise him after our Pops died. How can I ever raise a gun at him?
We hold each other's gaze until the truck skirts off. I know why I didn't shoot, but I don't know why he didn't. Simon hates me. He's been telling anybody who'll listen that he wants me dead. I didn't believe him at first. Now that blood has been shed, I ain't got no choice but to view him as a threat. Yet, when the opportunity to kill me was right in front of him, he didn't take it.
That was a stupid move on his part. Now he might as well be a dead man walking.
See, I underestimated him before. Now that Caesar is dead, I won't make that mistake again.
After the car disappears down the street, I turn my attention back to Caese. The tears just pour out of me. Aint no sense in trying to hold them back. I drag my feet over to him. Then I fall to my knees beside him.
At the same time, the lobby doors open. Rico busts through the doors with his gun in hand. He takes one look at me and stops dead in his tracks.
He places his gun on top his head.
"Aw, fuck," He says.
I don't respond. Me and Caese might as well be the only people on the street right now. I don't see shit but him. I don't hear shit except my own heart racing.
I pull Caesar towards me. I drag his upper body into my lap as best I can. Then I weep in a way I haven't done since my Pops died.