Chapter 53
I tell ya man, for all his overprotectiveness, that nigga Ace was onto something.
I spent all night thinkin' 'bout what he woulda done in my situation. I half expected him to show up at my house looking for round two 'cause of what I did to Candyce. I know I crossed the line before. I may have fucked her and brought her in the game but what I did last night was unforgivable.
Killing somebody changes a person. It strips them of whatever innocence they have left. Candyce wasn't no saint to begin with, but she ain't deserve that. I couldn't sleep knowing I was responsible for how she was feeling so I went to see her as soon as the sun came up.
Turns out, she was still sleep. Either that or she ain't wanna' see me. Ms. Rochelle answered the door so I ain't press the issue. I figured I'd just tie up some loose ends while I waited for her to get back to me.
I took a detour out the state on my way back from her house. I drove out to Mississippi to drop our guns and ol' girl's purse from last night in the river. I coulda just tossed it over the Crescent City Connection Bridge at home, but this a double homicide. The cops gon' be all over this. Ain't no such thing as being too safe.
The drive south was an hour out my way, but fuck it; it was worth it. I'd rather waste time and gas than years in prison over this shit. I'm hoping I could finally get some peace of mind now that I got rid of all the evidence.
As I turn onto my street, my phone starts ringing. I pick up my iPhone to see Candyce's name on the screen. I smile to myself. Sleeping beauty finally woke up.
I start to answer the phone until a figure in my driveway catch my attention. I have to look up twice 'cause I can't believe what I'm seeing.
I drop my phone in the cup holder while it's still ringing.
"Bitch tryna get me killed," I say through gritted teeth.
I whip my car into my driveway. I hop out the car and slam the door.
"The fuck you doing here, bruh? You tryna get me killed?" I ask.
Felicity folds her arms as she leans against her car.
"What can I say? You're a hard man to find especially when you're dodging my calls. I didn't know what else to do," She says.
"Bitch you did better arresting me than showing up outside my crib like this," I say.
I glance around. Thank God it's too early for motherfuckas to be outside.
"And ain't nobody dodging shit. We just ain't got nun' to talk about right now," I say.
"Is that so?" She asks.
I smack my teeth.
"You said call if Ace shows up. He ain't show up so I ain't call," I say.
Felicity squints her eyes.
"I find that really hard to believe when his drug trafficker was just murdered a few days ago," She says.
I furrow my eyebrows. I know she ain't talking 'bout who I think she talkin' 'bout.
"Did you really think I wouldn't find out?" She asks.
"Look I don't know what the fuck you talkin' 'bout but can we continue this conversation inside? I ain't plan on dying today," I say.
I shake my head as I walk to the front door. I can't believe this hoe showed up outside my house. And who knows how long she been standing there? Anybody coulda been watching us. All I know is, whatever she here for, that shit better be important. Bitch risking my life and shit.
I stick my key in the front door and unlock it. I hold the door open so Felicity can walk through first. The sooner I get her inside the better. Shit, if I could push her ass inside without gettin' arrested, I would.
Once she's made her grand entrance, I slam the door behind her.
"Now what the fuck you was saying 'bout Ace's drug trafficker?" I ask.
Felicity turns around to face me.
"I think you already know what I'm talking about," She says.
"Look, bruh. Now ain't the time to be beating 'round the bush. Say what you gotta say so you can get the fuck out before somebody recognize that car out there," I say.
She eyes me awhile before she comes out with it.
"Angel's dead."
I couldn't have heard that right.
"Angel who?" I ask.
Felicty rolls her eyes as she walks away.
"You can save the theatrics. I know you knew Angel was dead just like you know Ace is in town," She says.
I follow her down the hall.
"How the fuck would I know Angel is dead? And what the fuck that gotta do with you thinkin' Ace is in town?" I ask.
"Oh you mean besides the fact that Angel was killed a week after you told Ace to come home?" She asks.
I smack my teeth, but the bitch might be onto something. From what I know, Angel was damn near impossible to touch 'cause he was impossible to get close to. The only person who had enough time to get close to Angel was Ace. He worked for the nigga for three years.
I guess Cam was right. Angel did have a weakness and Ace must've used it to take his ass out. If we was talkin', I'd congratulate him on a job well done. I mean, I been wanting that nigga Angel dead since he put four holes in my chest. But since me and Ace still not fuckin' with each other, I do the next best thing which is cover for him.
"That don't mean Ace did it. Angel was a plug. He prolly had enemies from here to Cuba for all you know," I say.
Felicity scoffs, "Yeah, right."
As we walk into the living room, I grab a seat on my couch since it look like this bitch 'boutta be here awhile.
"I'm just saying. You never been able to look at the whole picture. You was always too focused on Ace," I say.
I scoot to the edge of the couch.
"Matter fact, fuck was you doing chasing Ace around when Angel was sitting right there anyway?" I ask.
Felicity walks back and forth in front of me.
"Not that it matters, but if you must know there's corruption in every agency across this nation. The government is no different," Felicity says.
"So what you saying? Angel had the DEA in his pocket?" I ask.
Me and Ace figured as much but we never knew for sure.
"I'm saying Angel was untouchable for reasons I don't understand and don't care to understand. Dead or alive, Angel isn't my problem."
Felicity stops walking and stands right in front of me.
"My problem is Ace. Now where is he?"
I lean back on the couch.
"You tell me. If you so sure he in the city then you should know where he at, right?" I ask.
"That's what I have you for but all this runaround is proving you're more trouble than you're worth," She says.
I pull my head back.
"Fuck you mean by that?" I ask.
"It means, you do well to remember immunity is only the table as long as you cooperate. The minute I decide you're holding back information, I'll redirect all my focus back to you. And let's not forget that RICO has your baby mama's name on it too," She says, smiling.
I mug the shit out her. I thought I had gotten used to her threats but now that Keyana's pregnant with my child, any threat against her holds more weight.
"Now I'll ask again. Where. Is. He?" Felicity asks.
"I don't fuckin' know, but I know he ain't here. Trust me, I would know if he was," I say.
Felicity laughs as she continues her stroll through my living room.
"Trust you?" She asks.
I act like I ain't hear her.
"You think Ace coming back in town without checking up on the nigga running his business? I'd be his first stop and you'd be my first call," I say.
"I'd like to believe you, Caesar but I'm not as naive as I was when we first started this thing. See, I was actually stupid enough to believe the family you created mattered more to you than the family that took you in, but I was wrong, wasn't I?"
I lock my jaw but I don't say shit.
"All of this could've been over six months ago but as it turns out, you just couldn't let the past go. You tipped Ace off about the raid and you've been giving me the runaround ever since. I guess Keyana and her kid don't mean that much to you after all," She says.
I feel my body temp rising. She finally figured out a way to get under my skin without using threats. She callin' it like she see it and I just can't take it.
"Watch yo' mouth," I say.
Felicity chuckles.
"Oh please, Caesar. I know you wanna' still pretend that you care about them but tell the truth. You only care about that baby she's carrying, right?" She asks.
Just like that, a chill runs through my body. Felicity looks over at me and stops walking.
"What? Did I hit a herve?" She asks.
"Get the fuck out," I say.
"Don't be so sensitive, Caesar. You had to know I knew she was pregnant. I keep tabs on her just like I keep tabs on you," She says.
I stand up.
"I'm not gon' tell you again," I say.
"Just one more thing before I go," She says.
I tense up as she walks over to me. She lowers her voice as we stand inches apart.
"If I find Ace without your help, you should know I'm coming after you next. But first, I'm going to go after Keyana. So if you ever wanna' see that baby, I suggest you start talking. Now's the time to man up and finally put your family first," She says.
I mug the fuck out her as we stare each other down. I hear a clicking sound in the distance but I dismiss it. Then out the corner of my eye, I notice the lock on the front door turn.
I knit my eyebrows together convinced I must be seeing shit. I know a nigga ain't tryna break into my house.
I turn my head that way as the door opens. Felicity looks over too.
It ain't 'til she walks through the door that last night comes flooding back.
The key.
I gave Candyce back the key.
"Fuck," I whisper.
I pause as I stare at the scene in front of me. This can't be real life.
I look back and forth from Caesar to the bitch standing an inch away from him. The last time I saw her she was gunning Tory down in his truck. Now here she is unarmed and pressed up against Caesar.
I lock eyes with him.
"What the fuck is this?" I ask.
Caesar opens and closes his mouth like a fish outta water. Seeing him speechless only adds fuel to the fire.
I cross my arms.
"What the fuck is she doing here, Caesar?!" I yell.
Agent Guiterrez laughs under her breath. My mouth curls into a mean mug.
"Sum'n funny, bitch?" I ask.
"Candyce," Caesar says.
I ignore him. I drill my eyes into the Fed Bitch wishing she give me a reason to pop off.
"I was just leaving," She says.
Scratch that, her being here is reason enough to pop off.
"Oh, no you ain't bitch. You gotta see me!" I yell.
I run towards her but Caesar cuts me off midway. He pins me to the wall while Guiterrez walks past us with a smirk on her face.
"Get the fuck off me!" I yell.
"Chill! You ain't even thinkin'. That's a federal agent. You tryna go to jail?" Caesar asks.
I'm tempted to spit in his face just to get him off me. I groan as Guiterrez gets further and further away. Before she leaves, she makes sure to throw one more glance at us over her shoulder.
"I'll be in touch," She says.
Then just like that, she's out the door.
"Let me go!" I yell.
"No. Not until I hear her car drive off," Caesar says.
I slam my head against the wall out of frustration. As much as I wanna' push Caesar off of me, that kinda strength only exists in movies. He has about 150 pounds on me easily so all I can do is stand there until that Fed Bitch's engine takes her down the street.
Once she's gone, Caesar drops his hands from my wrists. As soon as he does, I push him back with all my might.
"Fuck was she doing here, Caesar?!" I yell.
"It's not what you think," He says.
I push him again.
"Don't tell me what I think! Tell me what the fuck she was doing here!"
"I will if you just calm the fuck down!" Caesar yells.
That just pisses me off more. I reach up and try to slap him in his face but he dodges it and grabs my hand instead.
"Take these keys out yo' hand before you knock my fuckin' teeth out," He says.
I watch him unravel my keys from my fingers and throw them to the floor. I didn't even realize I was still holding them. Anyway, I don't know what he complaining for. A tooth out his mouth is the least of his problems.
"Ace gon' do a lot more than knock yo' teeth out when he find out," I say.
Caesar stares at me. There's a look in his eyes I can't quite read. I think it's somewhere between scared and confused. I think he's scared that I mentioned Ace's name but I think he's more confused that I actually took it there.
"Find out what?" He asks.
"I don't know, Caese. You tell me," I say.
He smacks his teeth and drops my hand.
"She just wanted to talk. I ain't tell her shit," He says.
I shake my head. Since when do she only wanna' talk?
"She ain't wanna' talk when she locked me in an interrogation room with her. She knew I wasn't gon' say shit so she tried to provoke me into hitting her. She damn sure ain't wanna' talk to Tory when she shot up his car on Christmas morning. Yet somehow, she thinks she can talk to you. Ace's best friend," I say.
"You got sum'n to say just say it," Caesar says.
"I'm saying there were five people in the room when Gecko died. Ace didn't tell on himself. I know I ain't say shit. Reese is dead and Cam was loyal to my brother until you came in the picture," I say.
All of a sudden, a light bulb clicks on in my head.
"As a matter of fact, why did you come back?" I ask.
"What?" Caesar asks.
"You built a life for yourself in New York. You had Reese. You had Keyana and Amir. You had everything you needed so why did you come back?" I ask.
Caesar eyes me.
"I ain't have everything I needed," He says.
I scoff.
"Don't act like you came back for me. You left me. You didn't want me. And you clearly didn't care about Ace so why did you come back?"
Caesar shrugs.
"This my home. I ain't need a reason."
"Except you do 'cause the way I see it, you coming back destroyed my whole family," I say.
The last good memory I have of my family was the morning before Caesar joined us for breakfast. Sure, Ace was mad at me and Simon was moody as always but everyone was accounted for. We were far from perfect but at least we were all under one roof. Everything changed when Caesar walked through the door and it hasn't been the same since.
I think back to every bad thing that's happened since that day. That was the day I got dragged into the game by Angel's henchmen. Shit really started going left after Angel sent that hit out on us 'cause while Ace and Caesar was busy recovering, the Galvez trap was being raided.
Actually, now that I think about it, it was Caesar who let Ace know that the trap was being raided. I think back to that morning in Keyana's living room.
"Wait, so you telling me the trap on Galvez got raided? How?" Ace is asking when I enter the living room.
"I don't even fucking know. Gecko called and said some of the hoes that work there was acting all jumpy all of a sudden. He thought they was stealing some of the product for themselves, cause they was all on edge. He called me down there to light some fire under they asses for the truth but when I pulled up, 5-0 was everywhere. I backed the fuck outta there and came to you," Caesar recounts.
At the time, there was no reason not to believe Caesar, but after seeing him with Guiterrez, I can't help but second-guess especially since things took a turn for the worse after the Galvez raid.
I remember being in Reese's house a few days later when Caesar got a call.
"Change of plans," Caesar announces.
Everyone looks at him.
"Cam just picked Gecko up and brought him back to The Loft. He fucked him up a lil' bit but Gecko ain't give him shit. But you know Cam more on the business side of things so I'm sure he ain't do 'em like we would have," Caesar says.
Then later, at The Loft, Gecko swore the Feds were setting him up.
"I didn't do it, man. I didn't do it. They setting me up."
"Who setting you up? The Feds?"
Gecko nods his head.
"The Feds setting you up and you tried to set Caesar up right? That's why you called him over there the day the trap got raided?" Ace says.
Caesar crosses his arms over his chest. He must have been thinking the same thing.
"Well that ain't gon' work Gecko. Because of Caesar, we get to fix yo' mistake..." Ace says.
Ace was so confident in his best friend that he didn't even stop to hear what Gecko was saying. None of us did. In hindsight, maybe all of this could've been avoided if we would've just listened.
Tears sting my eyes. Gecko died for nothing. I was right there. I could've saved him, but I couldn't see what was right in front of me.
I'm not so blinded now.
I look up at Caesar.
"It was you," I say.
"What?" He asks.
"This whole time. It was you. Gecko. The Galvez raid."
I take a sharp breath.
"Jonah," I whisper.
"Candyce, it ain't even like that," Caesar says.
He steps towards me but I give him a look that warns him not to take a step closer. Anger boils under the surface of my skin.
"You don't know what you talkin' 'bout," Caesar says.
Hot tears fall from my eyes.
"My brother died 'cause of you. Don't lie to me. You owe me that," I say.
Caesar stares at me for a long time. Eventually he sighs.
"I ain't think the lil' ones was in danger. I ain't know she was gon' try to arrest y'all," He says.
A whimper escapes my lips. I thought hearing him say it would make me feel better. Instead, it just made my knees go weak. It takes every ounce of strength I have to continue standing.
How could I be so stupid?
I knew it was only a matter of time before I got caught up in my lie. I mean, what's done in the dark gon' always come to the light. Yet somehow I was still holding on to hope that it was gon' be me who break the news to 'em. I ain't want Candyce to find out like this. But after seeing me with Felicity, I could only keep up the facade for so long.
"Oh my god," Candyce says.
I watch as she puts her hands on her head and walks off.
"Candyce," I call.
She doesn't answer me so I follow behind her. When I get close enough, I reach for her.
"Don't touch me!" She yells.
I take a step back but that don't stop me from tryna plead my case.
"You want the truth right? Then you gotta let me explain," I say.
Like a child, Candyce covers her ears.
"I don't wanna' hear shit you gotta say to me," She says.
I smack my teeth.
"C'mon, man. Stop being childish. Hear me out," I say.
I try to pull one of her hands down but she spins around and slaps me with the other one. I grab my jaw.
"Aight," I say.
I give her some space. She mugs the fuck out me so I step back further.
"You ain't gotta listen but I'ma explain myself anyway," I say.
She try to act like she ain't listenin' but she drop her hands from her ears and cross them over her chest.
I walk over and sit down on my couch. I take a deep breath as I rub my hands together. I gotta find the perfect way to explain this to make Candyce understand 'cause none of this shit even matter if I can't make her understand. I'm counting on her to make Ace see I ain't have no other way.
"Last year I was in New York getting ready to leave all this shit behind when Guiterrez arrested me on a RICO charge. She had Reese name and Keyana's name on the indictment. She said the only way I could get out of it was if I gave her somebody more interesting. See, New York is full of niggas lookin' for a come up so even though I was getting paid, I was still just a small-time nigga. I couldn't give up nobody else I knew 'cause they was all smaller than me. So I gave up Ace," I say.
"You motherfucka," Candyce says.
I ignore her since she ain't tryna tackle a nigga yet.
"I just told her what I knew, which wasn't much. I ain't even think she was gon' be interested since he was way in New Orleans but the more I talked the more she ate that shit up."
I shake my head at myself.
"I thought that was enough to get her attention off me, but she had another idea. She wanted me to be an informant. She started tapping my calls with Ace, but Ace ain't stupid. He never said shit over the phone without talkin' in code. He kept asking me to come down there so we could talk in person. I ain't wan' do it. It was easy to snitch on Ace when he was just a nigga a thousand miles away. But if I was with him again, it was gon' feel like betraying my brother. I couldn't do it, but Felicity threatened Amir with foster care. I couldn't have him going out like that, so I just came down here," I say.
I stand up and look at Candyce.
"But you gotta understand sum'n, Red. The minute I agreed to give up Ace, I started thinking of a way to get us both out of this. I finally found a way. I got dirt on Guiterrez that makes any evidence she got on me or Ace inadmissible in court. Shit, by the time I'm through, that hoe might be the one in prison," I say.
Tears stream down Candyce's face as she mugs me.
"Let me guess. You talkin' 'bout Tory, right?" She asks.
I sigh.
"I know he was yo' friend, but you gotta see the big picture. I did this for Ace," I say.
"No. You did this to Ace," Candyce says.
"That don't even matter 'cause I found a way to get him out this. I'm sorry but Tory was collateral damage," I say.
Candyce gasps.
"How can you say that? You held me while I cried over him. You washed his blood off me. You had sex with me the same night he died!"
"Aye, I ain't want to, remember?" I ask.
I don't need her acting like that shit was anything other than consensual.
Candyce vehemently shakes her head.
"Look, Candyce. I had to do what I had to do to protect my family," I say.
She snaps her head in my direction.
"So you did all this for a bitch and a child that ain't even yours?" She asks.
I feel that slight twinge of irritation I always feel anytime someone reminds me Amir ain't mine. Now ain't the time to check her about it though.
"I ain't mean it like that. What I'm saying is, I did what I had to do to protect everybody. It may seem like I sold Ace out but the only person getting the short end of the stick is me. I'm working on sum'n that could get Ace out from under this and I'll only have to do five years in prison. It's already in the works. I just need a lil' more time so you can't tell Ace about this," I say.
I scoff.
"You expect me to keep yo' secret? Uh-uh. Fuck no. Fuck you," I say.
I start searching for my keys on his carpet. As soon as I find them, Caesar steps on them.
I sigh. My patience is really wearing thin with him.
"Listen, Red. If you care about a nigga, you'd do this for me. And even if you don't, just do it for Ace 'cause without me he doing life," He says.
Once again, I push him.
"He might be doing life because of you!" I say.
I shake my head.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? You're so delusional. It's like you got it in yo' head that you the savior to a problem you created! Ace wasn't on a federal watchlist before you! You gave him up to save yo' self so don't act like some fuckin' martyr now. You deserve everything that's coming to you. Now get out my fuckin' way so I can get my brother out of town for good," I say.
I grab my keys off the floor and start to walk to the front door, but Caesar stands in my way.
"You know I love you, right?" He asks.
I look up at him.
"Is this what you been doing all along? Tellin' me what I wanna' hear so I can't see what's right in front of me?" I ask.
Even after everything I just heard, I still pray that that part of the facade was true. I put so much time into this relationship, I'd hate for it to have been for nothing. My ego couldn't take it.
Caesar pulls his head back. He grabs my chin.
"What we have has always and will always be real. No matter what. I love you, Red. I'm not just saying that shit. I mean it. I'd do anything for you," He says.
I feel my heart break inside.
"I wish I could say the same," I say.
I remove his hand off my chin.
"But the only people I'd do anything for is my family. And you not my family. You just a nigga that's tearing my family apart," I say.
A hurt expression flashes over Caesar's face. I push past him and head for the door.
As I grab the doorknob, Caesar calls my name. I reluctantly turn around.
"You can't tell him, Candyce. Not yet, aight? I just need a lil' more time," He says.
He says it like a last Hail Mary. Like this is his last chance of pulling me back in. It's so pathetic, I almost feel bad for him. Key word being almost.
"You should've thought of that before you snitched on my brother," I say.
Before he can say anything else, I walk out the door and slam it behind me.