"Well?" Hunter said, tapping his foot impatiently.
I bit the inside of my mouth, trying to figure out what I was going to tell him. I couldn't possibly tell him about what just happened with Owen. No way. I couldn't tell him about my feelings either. But I've never really kept anything from Hunter before, except the fact that I was practically in love with him. But that didn't count. Not to me at least.
Then I remembered that I didn't owe Hunter anything, let alone an explanation. He didn't even deserve one. Not with the way he's been acting lately. It seemed that ever since Lacey showed the slightest bit of interest in him, he changed 180 degrees into a totally different person. A jerk. Or a jock, it didn't really matter. In my book, they were the same thing. I had always prided Austin for never turning into one of them.
"Well, what, Hunter?" I replied. Hunters face dropped, shocked at the tone of my voice.
"Are you really just going to stand there and pretend like Joyner didn't just give you a kiss on your cheek?" he placed his hands on his hips.
"I don't see what the big deal is."
"The big deal is that I have no idea what's gotten into you lately, James," he said. I raised my eyebrows at his statement. He thinks I'm the one who has changed? I huffed.
"What's gotten into me?" I demanded and he nodded his head.
"The James I know wouldn't even think twice about not going to parties. She wouldn't be caught dead making out with a random guy at a party-"
"Owen isn't a random guy- "
"See? That's exactly what I'm talking about. The James I know wouldn't even say that. She wouldn't have to because she wouldn't have been at a freaking party in the first place!" he screamed. I crossed my arm and continued chewing on the piece of skin inside my skin that was now bleeding slightly. It was the only way I knew to keep calm right now.
"What's the point of this, Hunter?" I asked impatiently. He was pissing me off. I didn't know if he was jealous or had a stick up his ass, but I was growing tired of it.
"My point is, I want answers!"
"Fine. You want answers? I'll give them to you!" I yelled back.
"Finally," he threw his hands up in the air.
"I went to the party that night because, god forbid, I wanted to have a little bit of fun for once in my life. Is that so much to ask? The only reason Owen kissed me was because your little precious Lacey was being a complete bitch. He was only doing what you weren't man enough to do, Hunter!"
"And what was that?" He yelled back.
"Save me!" I spat. I took a few deep breaths trying to calm myself down before carrying on. My hands ran over my stomach, flattening out the material covering it. "As for that kiss on my cheek back there, all I can say is that it was innocent."
"Innocent?"
"Yes. An innocent little kiss shared between two friends- "
"Friends?"
"Yes! Friends, Hunter! I know it might be hard to wrap your brain around the fact that I might actually have a life outside of our friendship, but guess what? While you were off ignoring me with Lacey, Owen was there with me. So, if you've gotten all the answers you want, I think you should leave."
"Wait what? You want me to leave?"
"Yes. I really do. I'm tired. I can't keep doing this," I said, but for some reason I knew those words meant so much more.
I took a few seconds to look at him. A couple of weeks ago I wouldn't have been able to talk to him like this. I would have never been able to find the courage. But for some reason, as I'm standing in the middle of my kitchen looking at him, I don't find my heart beating as fast as it used to.
I used to always want to be near him. I wanted to soak as much of him in as I could. Now I really couldn't stand to be near him. I felt like the longer he was here, the more irritated I would become. He was usually the one who calmed me down.
With as much strength as I had left in me, I walked over to the door and opened it. I held it open with him, and with my free arm I motioned for him to leave.
"You can't be serious, James,"
"Don't worry. We're good. I just need to be alone right now,"
"Whatever," he said as he walked towards the door. "Maybe Lacey was right about you," I heard him mumble on his way out.
I took a deep breath as I watched him walk away. I slowly shut the door and felt a weight being lifted off of my shoulders.
I heard what he said, and I couldn't care less what Lacey had said about me. Even though this day was exhausting, it came with some benefits. I feel like I finally knew what I wanted.
--
The next day at school Owen was nowhere to be found again. I thought about checking for him in the cafeteria, but I didn't think that was the best place to have a conversation like the one I wanted to have.
I decided to spend the rest of my lunch elsewhere. Seeing as Hazel was out sick today, I decided to go to my second favorite place.
"Hey Coach!" I exclaimed as I stepped in the familiar office.
I smiled widely at the man who was sitting at his desk. His legs were propped up on the desk as he was munching on an apple while he read some papers.
He looked up at me over his glasses that were hanging on the tip of his nose.
"James, I told you, you don't have to call me that when we're alone," he said shaking his head and adjusting his glasses.
"Right, sorry dad!" I rolled my eyes. "Mind if I join you?"
"Hazels out sick today?" He asked, opening one of the drawers in his desk. He pulled out two sandwiches and tossed me one.
I nodded my head as I unwrapped the sandwich. Peanut butter and Jelly. My favorite.
"Got any OJ?" I asked my dad, but he was already tossing me a juice box as the words left my mouth. I grinned at him. "So what are you working on today? Anything I can help with?" I asked as I pulled out my book, already knowing my stubborn dad would never admit he needed help.
"Just going over some of the plays for next weeks game," he replied.
We spent the remainder of my lunch break in comfortable silence. However, I couldn't stop my brain from thinking. I had read the same sentence over and over again because I was so distracted.
What the hell was I going to do?
My thoughts were interrupted by someone knocking on the door. My dad and I both turned to look at who it was.
"Joyner! Just the man I was looking for!" My dad exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air excitedly.
I sat up straight in my seat when the familiar blond haired boy walked into my dad's office. I was not expecting to see him now. I found myself rethinking my outfit choice. And the fact that my hair was in a bun. I knew I should have worn in down today. Something about him made me want to look cute. But by the way he was staring at me I had a feeling it didn't really matter what I was wearing.
"Hey coach," he said awkwardly as he tore his eyes away from my face. He quickly glanced at my dad before glancing back at me.
"Have you thought some more about what I told you this morning?" my dad asked him, and Owen shoved his hands into the pocket of his brown hoodie.
"Yeah, and I think you're right," Owen said. My father brought his hands together, making a loud clap. He gathered up the papers on his desk and started aligning them as he nodded his head at Owen.
"Perfect because I've already found the perfect person to help you out," my dad said. I grew curious. I wanted to know what they were talking about.
"What is this about?" I suddenly found myself asking without even thinking about it.
I was expecting my dad to glare at me for shoving my nose into things that didn't concern me, but he didn't. He just raised his eyebrows and said, "well its funny you should ask, James, because I was hoping you could help Owen out with his little problem."
"Me?" I said totally lost as to how I could possibly help Owen. "How could I help?"
"Owen failed his last English paper-"
"Way to keep it on the down low, Coach Miller," Owen said sarcastically.
My dad gave him a sympathetic smile. "I was able to persuade Mr. Evansburg to give him another chance, seeing as he wouldn't be able to play in the big game next Friday," my dad explained.
I glanced over at Owen and he shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his feet, but I could tell that he was blushing.
"So, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping him out," my dad said, but the look on his face was giving me the feeling that I had no other choice.
"Oh, yeah, sure. I'm all caught up on my schoolwork anyways," I said nervously. The thought of Owen and I being alone together again had my heart beating slightly more than it should be. Images of me and Owen kissing flashed in my mind, causing a slight blush to appear on my face. I bit my lip, thankful that no one could hear my thoughts right now.
Owen nodded his head, still looking at the ground.
"It's settled then! Alright, son, you can go back to your lunch break," my dad said politely, giving him a quick nod.
"Thanks," Owen said to me quickly. "I'll see you at practice, Coach," he said before quickly walking out of the office.
"See you!" My dad called after him. Without thinking twice, I set my book on my dads' desk and ran out of his office, after Owen.
"Owen!" I called after him. He was walking down the empty hallway towards the cafeteria. I saw him stop in his tracks and wait a couple of seconds before taking a deep breath and turning around.
"What?" he asked. His tone was not friendly at all. It took me aback.
"I wanted to talk to you," I said.
"Look, I had nothing to do with your dad asking you to help me out, alright?" he said. He sounded irritated.
"Even if you did, you know I wouldn't mind helping you out right?" He looked into my eyes, his face showing no emotion. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about," I whispered.
His hands went to his face and he rubbed his face like he was annoyed. He let out one long breath.
"Alright go ahead," he said as he stood in front of me and crossed his arms over his chest. I hesitated before saying anything. I bit the inside of my cheek as I contemplated whether or not I should be doing this. I had a gut feeling I should just walk away right now and push my feelings and confusion to the side.
I decided not to. I would not let myself hang around on the sidelines like I did with Hunter. I didn't deserve to be played with again.
"I want answers," I said, trying to sound confident. I puffed my chest out and crossed my arms, mimicking him.
His eyes glanced up and down my body, registering my body language. With one eyebrow raised, he shifted to the side and leaned against the locker, arms still crossed.
"You want answers?"
"Yes. I really do," I nodded my head.
"Answers for what?"
Was he being serious?
"For what?" I exclaimed, my hands flying in the air. I think the frustration might have gotten the best of me. "Maybe for the fact that we kissed, twice if you need reminding!"
He bowed his head down, shaking it slightly. There was a hint of a smile on his face. "I don't need reminding, James. I was there," he said slowly, his eyes focused on the ground.
Okay. This is good. We are finally talking about it. But why did I have a strange feeling about this. Something about the way he was avoiding my eye contact was stressing me out. More than I already was.
"Well? Are you going to tell me what that means? For me and you?" I said and instantly regretted it.
Owens head shot up, his eyes piercing mine.
"Me and you?" he repeated, and I reluctantly nodded my head. "Look, James. Maybe you should just drop this right now before you make a fool out of yourself, alright?" he snapped before pushing his leg against the locker and striding down the hallway.
I stood in the hallway outside my dad's office, watching him walk away in total confusion. That is not how I wanted this conversation to go.