Enjoy the angst, my friends
tw//implied/mentions of s3lf h@rm
Connor silently waited for Evan outside the school. The sandy-haired boy had asked Connor to wait for him because there was something he needed to take care of before they left. Getting tired of staring at the same pair of double doors, Connor leaned against his car and pulled out his phone.
It was another five minutes or so before Evan came running out of the door, his bag thumbing against his back with every step. Connor was about to call out to him when he noticed the look of fear on Evan's face. No, not fear. Terror. And it wasn't long after that Connor saw the group of three boys chasing him.
And Jared chasing behind them.
He was yelling at someone, the boys or Evan, he couldn't tell. Connor's phone hit the ground as he started to run towards Evan. The look plastered on the boy's face wasn't something caused by a simple game of tag.
Though he was running as fast as he could, which wasn't all that fast considering the large amounts of weed he'd consumed the night prior decided they needed to make their presence know in this very moment, Connor was too far away to reach Evan before they had him pinned to the ground, broken arm bent behind his back.
He watched as Evan's face contorted in pain, and he pushed himself to run faster. Despite that fact that he might be hungover, Connor was still confident in his ability to fight. Jared was currently in the process of dealing with the two other boys, attempting to shove them out of the way, but ended up getting knocked on the ground himself.
Finally reaching the boys, he ran for the one who was on top of Evan. Connor tackled him to the ground successfully pushing him off the smaller boy.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he growled out, pinning the boys arms down with his knees as Connor attempted to restrain himself from wringing his neck.
"What's it to you?" he seethed as he struggled to get up. Connor moved to brace him with his hands instead, tightening his grip.
"Name." Connor growled out, looking the writhing boy in the eye.
"Why should I tell you?"
"Don't make me ask again. Name. Now."
"Thomas."
"Thomas what?"
"Jefferson."
"Well then, Thomass Jeffershit. I'm going to let you get up, and you and your friends are going to return to whatever hell hole you crawled out of. Understood?"
Thomas just nodded, and Connor slowly released his grip on the boy.
That was his first mistake.
His second was looking over to Evan to make sure he was okay, and Connor missed the fist coming directly towards his face. At first all he felt was the impact, the pain came later. Connor hissed as he felt the sensation spread throughout his jaw, and he bunched his fists in his hand, prepared to counter.
"Shouldn't have done that, fuckface." his voice was raspy, this only ever really happened when he was severely pissed off.
And he was way beyond pissed off.
Connor shoved the Thomas to the ground, towering over him. He was about to start kicking when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw a trembling Evan, face twisted in pain, but he was standing. He was standing and he was telling Connor to stop. To let it go.
Thomas was still on the ground, and Connor through him one last glare before grabbing onto Evan's hand and pulling him out of the parking lot.
"W-wait b-but Jared!" Evan said, though didn't let go of Connor's hand.
"Jared's fine, let's go before the other's get any more ideas."
"B-but-"
"I said he's fine," Connor growled, pulling along harder. He was still enraged, all his anger was currently being pent up and looking for a way to escape. There were two places he normally went to calm down, but as he was about to get in a car, weed wasn't exactly a good idea. So Connor went with his second option.
The orchard.
The two boys climbed in the car, Evan clutching his arm in pain. Despite his best attempts to hide it, this fact did not go unnoticed by Connor as his eyes flicked back and forth from Evan to the road.
"Are you okay?" he asked, stopping at a red light and turning to examine Evan's arm.
"Y-yeah it's fine-"
Connor cut Evan off and reached over to grab onto the part of Evan's arm that wasn't broken, he tried to be as gentle as possible but the freckled boy was still letting out small whimpers of pain at the slightest movements.
"No, it's not. We need to get you to a doctor."
"N-no!" he shouted. "Just... p-please don't." he mumbled and Connor sighed. The light was green once again and they continued the rest of the drive in silence. The side of his face was still throbbing in pain but Connor ignored it, only wincing slightly when the pain became a bit stronger.
Soon, they were driving down the winding country road that Connor knew better than anyone. He'd been here too many times to count, and though he never tell them this, he rather missed the days when his family would come here for picnics.
Zoe and him had a small plane they would fly around, laughing and chasing it around. Connor smiled at the fond memory of his sister, after all he didn't have many.
"Where are w-we going?" Evan asked, picking at the loose strings of black fabric on the jeans. Instead of answering, Connor responded with a question of his own.
"You like trees, right?"
"Yes."
"Good." Connor vaguely remembered Evan talking about trees in his high stupor. Soon they pulled into an empty parking lot. He stared at the open field framed by trees. The greenery was surrounded by a poorly made chain link fence that Connor had torn many holes in over the years.
Evan had yet to say anything, and Connor looked over to see if there was any form of a reaction written on his face. To his surprise, the boy was actually smiling. And to surprise Connor further, he was smiling, too.
Schooling his expression, he opened the car door and made way to the closet rip in the fence. He lifted up the worn metal, letting Evan pass through before ducking under and following. Connor stuck his hands in his pockets as a cool breeze blew past them.
"Why is no one else here?" Evan asked, blue eyes scanning his surrounding, "This place is amazing!"
Connor just chuckled slightly, blowing a stray piece of hair out of his face, "It shut down a few years ago, didn't have enough money to keep it running, I guess." he shrugged, jogging slightly to keep up with Evan.
Watching as Evan examined everything, eyes shining with a joy he hadn't experienced in years, Connor felt his anger slowly drain away. Shaking his head at the absurdity of it all, he began an attempt at conversation.
"So..." he started, trying to think of something to say that wasn't rude or sarcastic. "What kind of music do you like?"
It was strange, actually caring about someone else's feelings. Normally, Connor would spit out the first thing that came into his mind without a second thought and without regard for anyone's reaction.
Evan turned to him, surprised at Connor's sudden question.
"U-um, well I listen to a lot of different t-things. Mostly m-musicals and st-stuff."
"Really?"
Evan nodded, twisting his hands together. "Yeah, I know it's stupid b-but I-"
"Me too." Connor said, smirking to himself. Evan's eyes widened in disbelief.
"Really?"
"Mm-hm." he hummed, sitting down on the dying grass and leaning up against a tree.
"Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw." Evan mumbled, and Connor was full on smiling now, no longer concerned about hiding it.
"I see you trying to show off with your Heathers references. You're not sneaky." he said, running a hand through grass before pulling up a chunk of it.
"Sorry." Evan responded, though he sounded anything but sorry. Sitting down next to Connor, he pulled out his phone and opened his messages. "We should probably start rehearsing."
The brunette nodded, before snatching the phone from Evan.
"Alright then, I'll be whatever person you're supposed to be talking to in whatever scene, and obviously, you be Puck."
(I attempted to do research on A Midsummer Night's Dream and idk if the internet is lying to me or not so if I get something wrong I am begging you to correct me, seriously please do so.)
"A-alright."
"Also, I'm putting my number in your phone so you can text me a copy of the script."
"O-okay," Evan said, face tinging pink.
After sending his own phone a copy of the script, Connor tossed the other boy his respective phone.
"Alright, let's do this." he groaned as he stood up, stretching his limbs. Evan followed, skimming over the words displayed on the screen. After a deep breath and a few encouraging words from a certain boy dressed in black, Evan was ready.
----------- TIME SKIP----------
Evan's POV
The sun was setting by the time they finished, and Evan, for once in his life, felt slightly confident. They'd gone over all his lines, and he had most if not all of them memorized. Connor was also a huge help, and Evan really couldn't have done this without him.
"Oh shit!" Evan yelled, a frown marking his face. A half asleep Connor jumped up at this, eyes wide with worry.
"What! What's wrong?" he grumbled, rubbing his eyes.
"I f-forgot to say thank you - for earlier I-I mean. And for this of course." he hurriedly finished, wincing slightly, hoping Connor wouldn't hate him because he was an ungrateful asshole.
"Oh. It's fine, no problem." The tall brunette responded, yawning through his words.
"No, it's not. You got hurt because of me, and even then you continued to help me! And it doesn't end there, since I've met you, you've done nothing but help me and I've been nothing but a burden!"
"Evan that's not true-"
"Yes it is!" He laughed, though it was hollow. Tears began forming in his eyes. They just stood there in silence for several moments, Evan's words ringing in the air.
"Fuck, I can't believe I'm about to tell you this." Connor mumbled, standing from his spot on the ground.
Evan didn't know what to expect but it certainly wasn't for Connor to wrap his arms around him and burry his face in his neck.
"Evan Hansen, you are not a burden, okay? You say you've done nothing for me but that is absolute bullshit." Connor took a shaky breath before continuing. "There's a reason I stand in the corner of that stupid class three times a week and never do anything, there's a reason I'm late to school almost daily, there's a reason I have these!" Connor yelled, pulling back and tugging up his sleeve.
Evan let out a small gasp at the sight of scars painting the boy's pale skin before looking up to him. And though Evan was concerned for the person standing before him, he kept his eyes devoid of pity. Because looking at Connor with eyes full of condolence would only make it worse.
And so instead his eyes held understanding.
Understanding that were both broken people who managed to find each other.
Broken people who were trying to make each other whole again.
"Do you want to know that reason?" Connor whispered, and Evan nodded slightly, not wanting to break whatever this was.
"It's because life fucking sucks." he said, setting two hands on Evan's shoulders, one sleeve still rolled up. "But you, Evan Hansen, have managed to make it bearable in the few days I've known you. I've smiled more in the last few days than I have in years. You, for whatever reason, make me happy. And that alone is something worth more than anything I could ever do for you."
They were both crying now, and Evan was the one hugging Connor, face pressed into his chest. They stood like that until it was dark out, and though they'd both stopped crying, neither wanted to move away.
Eventually though, Evan pulled back, knowing his mother would be worried about him. Connor, without saying a word, nodded his head and moved towards the broken fence. In a last ditch attempt to make this moment last longer, the shorter boy grabbed onto the other's arm.
Connor looked back at him, and Evan felt strangely at peace as he mumbled out two words that he'd thought a thousand times but never said once.
"Thank you."