Chapter 11
Nico
James and Mike were waiting for us on the speedboat when we made it down to the lower level, Finn jumped down onto the boat and I followed behind. He stood uncertain as to where to sit, so I directed him to the chair in the front, where he sat on the way in, while I sat in one of the seats in the back of the boat.
It reminded me of all the rides we had taken together with Finn tucked into my arms. The ache I felt to feel him against me again outweighed any pain I was feeling from my heavy workout this morning. I knew there was no chance to have that between us again, but I was grateful for even the opportunity of whatever type of friendship Finn was comfortable with.
"Are you sure you don't mind me dragging you around to furniture stores, it's probably going to be pretty boring."
"Not at all, it's good for me to get off the boat for once. Ajax would be pleased I'm 're-joining society' as he says, he's been harping on me for a long time," I admitted.
"I need to stop by my apartment first and take measurements. The contractors are still finishing up a few small things, but I got the key early and we won't be in anyone's way if they're still working."
Finn pulled out of the marina parking lot, a look of excitement on his face. He drove his new car like an expert and as I remembered that it was supposed to be me who taught him to drive, a wave of sadness washed over me. I had to turn away and look out the window until I was able to get a grip on my emotions.
I also would have loved to get him a brand new car…after doing research on the safest models on the market. But I was proud of him for choosing his own car and it wasn't a bad one; it was a decent, clean, reliable vehicle. As he drove he began telling me all about the classes he'd signed up for, how his apartment was within walking distance to school, but not so close as to be in the fray of student congestion. His words bespoke the years I'd missed and how much he'd matured. His focus was on finishing his degree and his painting. He said he'd done the freshman partying experiences and it didn't take long to become bored with parties that revolved around a keg or the incessant beat that left him with a headache at dance clubs.
"Oh my god, I sound middle aged," he groaned.
"Don't even go there," I warned with a smile as he let out a hearty laugh.
"Here's my building," he said pulling into a parking space. I looked up at the building, one I knew well as it was a property our firm had purchased several years ago when we were investing in real estate. It had recently been retrofitted with a state of the art security system for the residents…well for one resident in particular whose safety was of utmost importance to me. Plus, as many upgrades to the apartment as would be possible without causing suspicion. Maybe I was wrong, still obsessing over Finn's needs and comfort, but really, nothing else was important to me anymore.
I followed Finn up into the building, his apartment was on the 2nd floor, there was an elevator, but Finn automatically went to the stairs, taking them 2 at a time with ease. When we were inside I looked around, pleased with the work they had done. Finn showed me around before we got on task.
"So this room will be my studio," he explained, walking into the bedroom with the large bay windows. "The morning light will be perfect for painting. Then this other one will be my bedroom." Finn pulled out a tape measure when we were in the next room and I helped him take some quick measurements as he sketched the room's layout in a small notepad. We did the same in the living room. "Look! It has a small washer and dryer," he showed me in a closet near the 2nd bathroom. "And I'm not much of a cook, but Benji said the appliances were brand new top of the line."
"It's a great place, nice and bright, perfect for a painter," I added looking around at the freshly painted walls.
"Yeah, I was pretty lucky. Benji and Ajax helped me find it, so it was all arranged before I even got here. It even comes with a parking spot in the private garage across the street. I didn't bother parking there now since there was a spot open right out front. Anyway, I've got what I needed, should we get going?"
"Sure. Do you have an idea what you'd like?"
“The first thing I need in order to move in is a bed, so I guess we’ll start there. Ajax gave me a list of places,” he said as he pulled out another folded up piece of paper.
“Can I see?” I asked. Finn passed me the paper and I scanned it, knowing most of the stores. “Why don’t we try this one first,” I suggested pointing to one on the list I knew particularly well. “They have a big selection and they usually can deliver within a few days. That’s where I bought some of the furniture for the apartment, including my bed.”
“Oh…well then it’s probably out of my price range,” he chuckled.
“Hey, I’m a careful shopper, I never spend frivolously, I just think it’s important to get good quality, especially in a bed you should get the absolute best you can afford because a good night’s sleep is important.” If he’d let me, I’d buy him the best money could buy, but I knew he wouldn’t. At least I knew he had a healthy amount of money available to him to buy everything he needed. Besides the 'insurance' money I'd arranged, he'd probably accumulated quite a bit of money just from all the paintings he'd sold.
“Yeah, I guess you have a good point. So we’ll start at…Redmond’s then. Do you know the best way to get there from here?” I explained how to get to the location and Finn pulled the car out once he understood. It all seemed so normal and comfortable, like two friends. Not at all like we used to be, but maybe a new version…and I was willing to take whatever I could get, as long as I got to spend time with him. I just had to be careful not to push too hard, he was so independent now, it had me awestruck just watching him.
When we arrived at the store we headed toward the bedding section where they had what looked like about 50 beds to choose from. A man came over to help us right away and explained the different types so that Finn knew where to start. “The best way is to try them,” the man suggested, “it sounds like you’re looking for a good quality bed with lots of support, so let’s go over to this area, these are our best ones, you can see what you like.” We followed him across to a section and Finn started lying down on the ones that appealed to him.
“It’s a good thing Benji isn’t with us,” he remarked. “I can just imagine him goofing around so bad we’d get kicked out.” I grinned at the thought of the two of them; Benji’s craziness and level-headed Finn trying to keep him in line. “I don’t think I need a King size, that would take up too much space in my bedroom, I think I’ll go for a Queen.”
Finn was moving around the showroom with a huge grin on his face that was contagious. “Oh my god,” he called out excitedly. “I think this is the one; come here Nico, let me know what you think.” The salesman gave me what looked like a knowing smirk, but one glare in return took that look right off his face. I made my way through the maze of beds until I reached Finn who had a blissful look on his face as he lay down on one of the beds with his eyes closed.
Sensing my presence he let out a deep sigh and spoke in a deep, lazy voice. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get off this bed, it feels so good.” I let out a low chuckle and walked around to the other side and lay down, leaving plenty of space between us.
“Oh yeah, this one’s good. I wouldn’t want to leave it either…I mean…” What did I mean, I could feel myself blushing which was embarrassing enough on its own, “I mean, it would be good... for your back, you’d get a good night’s sleep...that’s all I meant.”
Finn started laughing at me as I fumbled over my words. “You don’t have to walk on eggshells with me Nico, I knew what you meant. Though, I do kind of like this new you. It’s very…”
“What?” I asked curiously as he paused.
“Endearing,” he said, laughing again. Three years ago he’d have gotten a spanking for such behaviour, but now. It was all good and I found myself laughing with him.
“Uh huh, that’s what I aspire to be kiddo, endearing.”
“I know what you’re thinking right now,” Finn said smugly, I looked around and noticed the salesman had retreated discreetly to a desk across the room.
“What am I thinking?”
“Nah, I shouldn’t say it. Forget it.” He hopped up with a big smirk and walked over to the salesman, sitting down next to his desk as they discussed delivery I presume. I wondered if he really did know what I was thinking, and as smart as he was, he probably did. I got up slowly and wandered over their way. Finn looked up, "they have that one in stock and can deliver the day after tomorrow! They have a matching night tables and a bureau too."
"That's great."
"Yeah," he agreed, standing up. "Let's go see what they have for couches…and I need a couple of chairs…a kitchen table…"
We wandered around the large store and Finn found a sofa with a matching easy chair and two club chairs he liked, plus a cabinet for a TV that closed because he didn't like the television to be the central part of the living room. Once he had paid for everything and arranged delivery we went on to another store that had a better selection of dining tables. It didn't take long for him to pick out all of the furniture he needed. We also picked up a few sets of towels and sheets along with kitchen items and dropped those back at the apartment once we were all finished.
Before we went back to the car Finn's phone buzzed. "It's a text from Benji. He wants to know if I'm coming home for dinner, they're grilling…um…Do you want to come back to the house for dinner?"
"You're not sick of me yet?" I joked.
"Nah, it's been cool. I really appreciated your help picking stuff out…I'd never bought furniture before, so it really helped…why don't you come back and have dinner with us, I bet Ajax would really like to spend more time with you…it'll be like old times…well, just…I mean, having us all tog…you know what I mean."
"Okay, I'd like to." I watched as Finn texted Benji back.
"I'll tell him I'm bringing a guest, but he'll figure it out…but we can surprise Ajax."
"I'm sure he'll be surprised to see us walk in the door together."
"No doubt."
On the drive back I wondered if we should do any more talking. There was still so much unsaid, but I hated to ruin the easy atmosphere that had developed throughout the day.
"You know…I hope we can be friends Finn, after everything…I don't expect you to forgive me or even trust me again, but I'd like to be friends…today was really great. I haven't had a day this good in a long time."
"I'd like that too…I mean, if you're going to be staying in L.A., it would be too weird to avoid each other, I'd rather be friends too." He paused for a few minutes, I couldn't tell if he was focusing on driving or was deep in thought until he finally spoke again. "I'd like to think that I've forgiven you. Part of me understands what went down, I don't know," he pondered, "I don't know, I can't guarantee that the anger won't ever flare up again, but I think I've forgiven you. I guess after you read the journal, you'll understand better where my head's at, it's hard explaining it."
"I think I will stay in L.A. as long as you're okay with that…and I'll be there if you need to talk, any time…or if you need me to back off and give you space, you can tell me that too." We had stopped at a red light and Finn looked over at me.
"Thanks, I appreciate that. I think, and this is going to sound bad, but, it was easier finding out how hurt you were about it too. That you didn't just run off and find a replacement for me, made me realize that maybe you were hurting as bad as I was…not that I wanted you…in pain…it just made me feel that maybe I was as important to you as you were to me."
"Finn, don't ever think you weren't important to me…that you're not still important to me. In the beginning, it was different, my intentions, to be honest, weren't all that honorable. But…you changed me…brought out the best in me and, as cliché as it sounds, you made me want to be a better person. What we had…it was…everything to me. I know that I ruined that, but your well-being is still more important to me than anyone's, even my own. I'll always be there for you in whatever capacity you'll allow."
A beep behind us alerted Finn that the light had turned green and he quickly looked ahead. He was quiet and I was worried that I had pushed too far.
"Finn?"
"I…can we not talk about it anymore…for right now?" he asked in a raspy voice.
"Of course."
Finn reached down and turned on the radio and we drove the rest of the way without talking. I took the time to collect myself and get my own emotions steady. When we reached the house, Finn turned to me as he pulled his keys out of the ignition. "This should be interesting," he said with a smirk.
"I should have my phone ready to snap a picture of Ajax when he sees us walk in together."
"Yes! Do it!" He whispered excitedly, a trace of the young Finn sparkling in his eyes. "And lets act all casual like it's nothing out of the ordinary…no, I'll text Benji, he can take the picture and we just act all normal….Oh my god!"
"What?"
"Benji's rubbing off on me, isn't he?"
I let out a loud laugh, "maybe a little," I agreed.
"But let's do it anyway, okay?"
"Okay," I agreed, as I would pretty much do anything the young man before me asked. Finn texted Benji and we got out of the car. Finn opened the front door with his key and we walked in, both of us trying to keep a straight face as we walked in casually like nothing was going on.
We wandered through the foyer just as Ajax came in from the back yard, "I started the barbecue Be…" he turned to face us.
"Hey Ajax," Finn said casually.
"Hey Bro." I added.
"Finn, Nico, do you guys want beer or wine," Benji asked coolly as he walked out of the kitchen, catching right on.
"I'll take a beer," Finn replied.
"Same." I said nodding. "Jax, you need any help out there?"
Ajax hadn't moved a muscle and stood there with his mouth gaping open. Benji pulled a phone out of his pocket and snapped a few pictures. "Next time I'm in a boring lecture, I'm going to pull these out for a laugh," he remarked.
"What's going on?" Ajax finally asked.
Finn and I looked at each other in confusion and then at Benji. "Didn't you invite us for dinner," we both asked in unison before looking back at Ajax.
"Umm…I can always order a pizza if you don't have enough," Finn offered.
"Whatever," Ajax sighed, shaking his head. He looked over at Benji, "You have some explaining to do later tonight." We all burst out laughing and even Ajax finally cracked a smile.