Unbreak My Heart (18+, ManxMan)

Chapter 9 I Never Meant to Cause You Any Sorrow

Chapter 9

Benji

Fooling around with Ajax kept my mind busy and focused elsewhere for the better part of an hour.  When we finally came up for air, took a shower together and re-dressed I made us a couple of sandwiches while Ajax checked his computer.

"Do you know where my phone is?" he asked as he came to join me at the kitchen island.  I looked up at the clock above the stove and it was 1:45pm and I felt a little shiver run down my spine.  I took a deep breath and tried to relax.

"I think it's in the living room, I'll go get it."  I scurried off and retrieved it from under the cushions.  I felt bad being sneaky as I quickly looked and there were no new messages.  To be honest, I kind of felt like Gerard the way I was using Ajax's phone to trick Nico and Finn…and even Ajax.  I only hoped that since it was for a greater good that it was somehow okay.

"Benji?"

"Coming," I called out as I ran into the kitchen.  I handed him his phone and quickly took my seat and contemplated eating my sandwich.  Somehow, I had lost my appetite and my nerves were starting to flare up.  I don't think I could ever do this again, scheming just takes too much out of a person.  I was a wreck!

What if I made a big mistake and it blew up in my face.  Everyone would be mad at me.

What if it pushed Nico or Finn over the edge and one or both of them had a breakdown.

What if Ajax got so mad at me for interfering that he broke up with me.

I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and got up and ran to the bathroom.  Since I hadn't eaten in hours I ended up just dry heaving over the toilet.

"Benji?  Hey baby, are you okay?"  Ajax followed me in and kneeled down beside me rubbing my back. When my body finally stopped heaving I sat up and he pulled me into his arms.  "What happened?"

"I don't feel good," I squeaked, my throat burning from the acidic bile that came up.  I stood up and rinsed my mouth out with water and some mouthwash that was in the cabinet.  I felt shaky and lightheaded and had to put my hands down on the sink brace myself.

"Here Benji, let me get you into bed and then I'll make you some tea."

"No, I'm okay," I said waving him off, but I was shaking and short of breath.  I was pretty sure I was having a panic attack.

"No, you're not okay.  Come with me," Ajax ordered, his voice and body language going into full Dom mode.  I let him lead me out of the downstairs bathroom and up to our room.  Feeling his hands on me helped me calm down a bit, even the little bit of warmth helped as I was now shivering as if I was in the freezing cold.  "Are you supposed to be at the Boy's Club this afternoon?  If so, I'm calling Derek and telling him you won't make it."

"No, I was booked off today," I whispered shakily.  Ajax felt my forehead and pulled the covers back, tucking me into bed.

"You feel clammy, I'm going to get you some ibuprofen before I go make your tea."  Ajax stalked off and returned within seconds with the pills and handed me a bottle of water that was on my night table.  "Did you take your meds this morning?"

"Of course, it's…I'll be fine, I just need to lie down for a few minutes."  I knew I should just fess up, but I was so scared…I didn't want to lose Ajax.  I loved him so much.

"I'll go make you a cup of tea and bring you some crackers or something also, to settle your stomach."  I nodded and Ajax left the room while I laid my head back on the pillow.