My head felt so light. I couldn't help but pinched my head and groaned in pain when my body aches painfully. I rolled on the bed and stopped when I realized something wrong happened to me. As soon as I opened my eyes, I was confused to find myself in a room that was completely different compared to my room.
This room was massive and decorated beautifully with luxury furniture placed around the corner. I looked around the room and tugged my lips when I saw a picture of Jake hanging on the wall.
I refused to believe my sight when I realized that I was in his room. I was convinced that I was just dreaming of him. I shut my eyes, forced myself to wake up from the dreaming, and opened my eyes when nothing changed.
Again, my head got lighter. I parted my lips as I suddenly got the feeling of nausea.
I drank too much last night but I didn't regret anything because it was the only way for me to completely forget every single thing that happened to me these days. It made me feel better once I woke up sober.
As I was about to get off the bed, I was surprised when a pair of veiny arms sneaked around my waist from behind before pulling my body closer to his embrace.
My heart almost jumped out of my body when he buried his face in my shoulder, never letting go of me.
I could recognize the owner of the pair of the arm so easily. He was the only man who has the most beautiful hand I have ever seen.
The hand that I always wanted to hold since a long time ago. The hand that always made me feel so many butterflies in my stomach whenever he interlocked his fingers with mine.
I took a glance at him and breathed heavily when I realized that it was Jake. I looked at him for a long time and wondered how did I end up on the same bed with him. I tried to remember every single thing that we did, but sadly, I couldn't remember anything.
All I could remember was the moment I fell to the ground after trying to buy other cans of alcohol at the convenience store.
I reached my hand to him, and carefully took the arm off my waist before getting off the bed to sneak out of the house before he woke up from his sleeping. I walked towards the door and took a glance at him to make sure he was sleeping peacefully.
As soon as I left the room, my step stopped when I got the feeling of nostalgia. It's been a year since I have been leaving this mansion and nothing was completely changed. The decoration, the furniture, and everything in the house was the same.
The kitchen where I always cooked for him, the food that he doesn't even finish or taste. The living room, the couch that I used to sleep on whenever I waited for him to come back home after staying with Yurim at the hospital.
The room was the same bed he used to push me against the mattress and scolded me after I accidentally broke the frame that has the picture of his love.
I remembered everything between us. It's hard for me to forget every moment that we had even though our relationship was last less than two months.
I still remembered the moment he cherish his love. I remembered how my heart broke when it happened right in front of my eyes. The feeling never returned.
It was the moment when I felt so much heartbreak in my life. It was way hurter than getting rejected by Heeseung who was the first man I have fallen in love with.
After a year of leaving him, God made both of us bump into each other again. I wondered if it was accidental or if it was fated. If it was fated, what was exactly the reason?
I got hurt when I fell in love with him. I got hurt when I saw him cherish his love more than I did. I got hurt from every single thing he did for Yurim.
I was healed from the most hurtful moment in my life, but did God try to tear the wound in my heart again?
I hope this would be the first and last time I met him. I didn't want to go through the same phrase twice.
I went towards the door after taking a glance around the house for the last time and stopped on my way when I heard his voice behind me.
"Do you want to have breakfast first?"
I stayed in the same position and didn't turn my body to face him. As soon as he took a step toward me, I immediately avoided him until he stopped. He reached his hand to me and tried to hold it but I quickly shrugged it off.
"You might don't remember the reason you're here with me. If you're curious, let's take a seat and have breakfast with me first. I will tell you from the first little thing to the end."
I shut my mouth and refused to answer him.
"If you're curious, please talk to me."
I shook my head, "I'm not curious. I don't want to remember everything I did when I was drunk."
I walked out of the house and stopped when he spoke up again.
"Once you left the house, you're not allowed to take your clothes back."
I ignored him, left the house, and headed towards the gate as if nothing happened but later then, I realized that I only wore his oversize shirt on my body.
I fastened my step towards him and looked at him who was standing at the door with his gaze still glued to me. He crossed his arm and raised his eyebrows while pointing his lips when I asked him to move away.
"I want to take my clothes."
I said, trying to pull him away from the door but I failed when he was stronger than me. He leaned his back against the door and glued his gaze on me silently.
"Once you left the house, you're not allowed to take your clothes back."
I whined in annoyed,
"I don't want to be in your clothes."
"Nothing can change my words."
He replied calmly.
"I will give your clothes to you, so you should give your clothes to me back."
He cackled and brushed his hair out of his face.
"Send my clothes to me tomorrow."
I looked at him longer and nodded.
"Just keep my clothes with you. It's not that I don't have money to buy new clothes."
I walked towards the gate to leave,
"Don't you have any questions to ask me?"
He walked towards me and locked the gate by pressing the lock button just to avoid me leaving him. I stood at the gate speechless, lowered my head when he stood next to me and waited for me to look at him back.
"Why am I in your clothes? How did I end up in your bed? What happened to me? Don't you want to ask me that?"
"I know every answer to your question."He crossed his arm as he asked me.
"I don't want to ask you anything. I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore." I replied.
"But in the end, you will come to me and ask me to take full responsibility for you."
He commented causing me to be out of words. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows when our gaze met. I was honestly curious to know the reason I was here with him. I tried to read his mind and the gaze he gave me but I failed. I didn't get what he means.
A sudden thought crossed my mind causing my cheeks to turn to redden and flush. I shook my head and denied it quickly because that couldn't happen.
I brushed my cheeks and looked away when he caught me blushing over that one idea in my mind.
Jake slowly nodded,
"It's exactly what you're thinking right now."
I shook my head,
"Do you think I will believe you?"
He never broke his gaze off me.
"It's up to you, but if something happens."
"Don't hesitate to tell me." He continued.
I replied,
"Will you be this way if Choi Yurim is still around? Be loyal to her. Isn't that what you always keep to yourself?"
"Why did you pick up the trash that you throw away for the gold that you always dream of?"
"I have no reason to catch up with anything with you. So, leave me alone."
Jake approached me closer. I took a few steps away from him. I mumbled,
"You took advantage of me."
"That's why I want to take full responsibility over something that is my fault."
He replied calmly, never wanting to let himself lose over me.
"Hate me as much as you want. I deserve that."
"I was the man who hurt you more than twice. I was the man who made you suffer. You can hate me for that. You can push me away."
"But I want you to always remember that if something happens to you, don't hesitate to come to me and put your trust in me. I'll carry the little thing and the hardest thing you faced together with you."
"Please remember that. I won't hesitate to come to you."
I hit him on the chest as tears formed in my eyes. I hit him again, expecting he would hold my wrist and push me away like he always did in the past but now, he didn't. I hit him again and again until I got satisfied with what I was doing.
"Out of million girls in this world, why is it me?" I hit him on the chest.
"I hate you."
I pushed him away and without hesitation, I left the mansion after calling the taxi to pick me up. Jake was still at the gate, watching every move of mine silently until I got into the taxi and moved out of the neighborhood.
****
I took a rest on the bed after having a long shower in the bathroom. I needed to go to work later but I was still out of energy. I felt so sleepy and my body was in soreness.
I took a few minutes of nap, and slowly opened my eyes when I heard the sound of a bell from the living room. In slow motion, I got off the bed and carefully walked toward the living room while patting my belly.
As soon as I opened the door, I was surprised when it was Hansuk. He smiled at me as our gazes met, and showed the food that he bought for me excitedly. I giggled at his cute behavior and took the food from him.
"Thank you, Hansuk."
Hansuk nodded, "How's your day?"
I took a moment to answer and smiled again.
"I'm good."
We stayed at the door, and awkwardly exchanged glances with each other. Hansuk cleared his throat and spoke up,
"Do you want to say something to me?"
I looked at him and wondered what he means.
"Thank you for the food," I said and blinked my eyes when his gaze never broke off me.
"It's not what I wanted to hear from you."
I replied,
"What do you want to hear from me, Hansuk?"
"Why are you with Jake this morning?"
I parted my lips when the name was mentioned in our conversation. Hansuk brushed his hair in frustration and approached me with his gaze glued on me coldly.
His sudden behavior made me terrified of him. It was the same look he used to give to me when he knocked into the house with a baseball bat in his hand.
"What's wrong, Hansuk?"
"Why are you with Jake? Did both of you see each other again?"
I shook my head,
"Nothing happened between us."
My eyes widened when he suddenly grabbed my shoulder and gripped it to stop me from running away.
"Why did you meet him? Why are you in his clothes? Why, Han Jina?"
He raised his voice to me making me lose my words. I took a step away from him,
"I was drunk and he brought me to the mansion. Nothing happened."
He rolled his eyes, "Don't lie to me, Han Jina."
"Nothing happened, Hansuk."
He gazed at me silently and came towards me making me abruptly take a step away. I was terrified by his sudden behavior earlier. It's been a long time since I haven't seen his side of him. It made me remind of the past again.
Hansuk pulled me closer to him, scooped my cheeks, and chuckled,
"I'm glad that nothing happened."
"I'm protective of you, Han Jina."
"I'm sorry if it scares you."
He rest his forehead on mine and brushed my hair.
"I want to protect you so much. I can't bear seeing you with him again."
"I want to kill him for hurting you."
"I will kill you if you go with him in the end."
I looked at him nervously.
He chuckled,
"I'm kidding, Han Jina."
"I will go home first. Please eat the food. I made it full of love."
He brushed my hair and bid me goodbye before leaving the house. I stayed at the door speechless, and let out a heavy sigh when he went. I shut the door, still processing what was going on with him.
I walked to the room to take my phone and called Namjin,
"Namjin."
"What's wrong, Han Jina?"
"Can you come?"
****
"What do you mean by Hansuk getting mad at you for meeting Jake?"
Namjin asked me curiously while eating the bag of potato chips in her hand. She sat on the couch and fixed her gaze on the television.
"I don't know what's wrong with him. It scared me to see the side of him."
Namjin glanced at me, "You should avoid seeing him from now on. I'm scared if he will act over the limit when he sees you with Jake."
"He sounds so weird." She continued.
I sighed, "How can I avoid him, Namjin? He was the one who helped me. He bought this house for me and hand food to me."
"It will sound so disrespectful if I did that."
Namjin chewed the food and slapped me tight causing me to groan in pain. I was sensitive to the touch today. She looked at me weirdly and wondered what was going on with me.
I tried to keep myself cool and massaged my thighs gently until the pain was gone. Namjin put the potato chips away and leaned her body closer to me.
"What happened between you and Jake? How did you end up in his mansion? Did you remember everything that happen when you were drunk?"
I glanced at Namjin as a teasing smile formed on her face and hit her with my elbow causing her to shout and laugh after seeing my reaction to her question.
"Something happened. I know it!"
"Nothing happened."
"Liar! Your cheeks are flushed. You're getting shy."
I scooped my cheeks,
"It's natural! My cheeks always redden."
"It's getting redden that it used to."
She fought me back.
"What happened, Han Jina? Don't lie to your best friend."
She leaned her head on my shoulder.
"I can't remember anything."
"What do you mean by you can't remember anything? Tell me something you can remember."
I explained,
"The only part I remembered was I fell to the ground after trying to buy more alcohol and got hurt by the owner of the restaurant that I worked at."
"I can't remember anything after that. I can't remember when did he show up in front of me. What if I say something nonsense in front of him?" I whined in frustration.
"Good luck, Han Jina. Whatever happens after this, seek him as soon as possible. Let him take the responsibility for you."
I shook my head,
"I don't want to have anything with him anymore."
"Then, are you going to do everything alone? You're out of your mind."
I nodded.
"I can do everything alone."
"I think you should have stop drinking, Han Jina."
I got off the couch and listened to her.
"Something bad always happened when you were drunk and it's always related to him."
"I wonder why God set both of you again.
Is it good news?" She evilly laughed.
"I don't care if it's good news. It's too late now. My heart didn't pound for him like it used to be anymore."
"Did he say something before you went home?"
I nodded, "He wants to take responsibility if something happened to me."
Namjin excitedly jumped on the couch,
"That's great. Let him do that and live happily with him again."
I turned to look at Namjin as she followed me from behind.
"Will we end up this way if his love is still with him? Do you think he will sacrifice everything for me if Yurim is still around?"
"Don't you remember everything he did to me when Yurim was still around? It hurts me."
"I was healed and now, he came back as if nothing happened. He had no idea how much he hurts me. It's not that easy to forget everything that happened in the past."
"He was the one who wished me dead. He was the one who wanted me to be gone instead of his love. Why did he suddenly change his idea now?"
"This was an accident. Whatever happened to me, I don't want him to be included in my concern. I don't want to go through the same phrase twice."
"He wants to take responsibility for me because he knows that it was his fault. It's not that he loves me."
"First love never dies anyway."
I stopped talking as the lower part of mine suddenly cramped. Namjin quickly helped me by wrapping my arm around her shoulder and bringing me to the bedroom carefully.
She helped me to get on the bed, and pulled the blanket around me after fixing the pillow.
"See? You can't take care of yourself alone. How can you do everything alone without him?"
I shut my mouth.
"I can do it alone."
"I think Lee Heeseung has a feeling for you."
Namjin spoke up again.
I looked at her in disbelief and shook my head.
"Don't make your conclusion, Namjin. He rejected me as his first love. Don't you remember?"
"What if his heart finally pounds for you? A human's heart changes its feeling. People fall in love with different people when they are growing up."
She continued,
"If he has a feeling for you, will you return his feeling? Do you still have a little bit of love for him?"
I stared at the ceiling of the room and pinched my head.
"My feeling for him completely changed when he rejected my confession. My current feeling for Heeseung is not more than a friend."
"Is that mean you're still in love with Jake?"
"No. I turned heartless after he pushed me away."
Namjin nodded,
"You should fall in love with Heeseung again."
"If he likes you back, get married to him and live happily with him."
"It's the better way."
****
"Thank you for sending me off, Mr.Lee."
I looked at Heeseung in the driver's seat and smiled sweetly when he bid me goodbye. Since it was dinner, Heeseung offered himself to send me to the workplace after having dinner together.
He needed to go back to the office as the break almost ended, without wasting any time, I carried my bag and got off the car carefully.
Before I could leave the car, he suddenly stopped me by holding my wrist causing me to turn to look at him blankly.
"I'm sorry because I can't pick you up tonight.
I hope you can take care of yourself when I'm not around."
I slowly nodded,
"Don't worry, Mr.Lee. I can ask Namjin and Jaehyuk to pick me up. Don't burden yourself for me, Mr.Lee. You should do well on your work."
He flashed a smile and took out something from his pocket. I looked at him in confusion, and quietly gasped when it was a box of diamond necklaces. He chuckled as he saw my reaction and waited for me to say something.
"What's that for, Mr.Lee?" I nervously asked.
He leaned his body closer to me,
"Turn around."
As I turned my body around, he wore the necklace around my neck and spoke up.
"It suits you."
He chuckled.
I looked at the necklace through the mirror and nodded as I lowkey agreed with him. The diamond necklace suits me. A random thought crossed my mind causing my smile to slowly fade away. He stared at my face in confusion.
"What's wrong with that look?"
I nervously spoke,
"It's diamond."
"Then what's wrong with the diamond?"
"It's expensive."
My answer made him laugh.
"Don't bother with the price, Han Jina."
"How much is this?"
"I don't remember." He shrugged his shoulder and patted my shoulder.
"Go to your work. Don't hide the necklace. I will get upset if you take it off."
I smiled at him again,
"Thank you, Mr.Lee."
I said and got off the car. I bid him goodbye and stayed in the same position until he has gone from my sight.
As soon as I saw the owner of the restaurant, I quickly fastened my step and greeted him politely while wearing the apron around my body.
He glared at me, "Do your work."
I nodded and abruptly stopped on my way when I felt the soreness under my belly again. I carefully walked to the kitchen and ignored everyone who was staring at me weirdly.
"Are you okay?" Rumi approached me anxiously.
I formed a smile on my face.
"I'm okay."
"Can you walk properly?"
"Stop making an excuse. Go back to your work now!" The owner shouted causing everyone to get on their work, and mind their business.
I stood at the counter while massaging my belly and quietly groaned in pain when it slowly hurts me. I thought the pain was gone after taking hours of sleep, but it didn't.
I was supposed to clean the table before the customer came but I couldn't do anything because of the trouble I faced right now. I took a moment to respond and greeted the customer when they came into the restaurant.
I grabbed the towel, cleaned the table for them, and stopped when it hurts me again. I sighed heavily and tried to keep myself focus as I could feel Mr.Lee staring at every move of mine silently.
"Did you hear me, Ms.Han?"
I took a deep breath and nodded,
"Can you repeat your order?"
The customer repeated the order as I noted them one by one. After I have finished, I went to the counter to register the order in the system and lifted my head when a few groups of customers came into the restaurant at the same time.
I forced myself to take their orders one by one even though my body was still in pain.
"Han Jina, a glass of plain water please."
I carefully brought the plain water to the customer and walked to the other customer to take their orders.
As I was about to go back to the counter, my step stopped when I saw a familiar man come into the restaurant with his group of friends.
Kai smiled at me as our gazes met. I shifted my gaze to Jake and walked away when he approached me. As I was about to fasten my step, I abruptly stopped when the lower part got me again.
I tried to act cool but I failed. Rumi came towards me, "You should take a rest."
"Mr.Lee will get so mad at me if I take a rest."
I went toward Jake and his friends to take their orders and avoided his gaze on me as I arrived at the table.
I tried to keep myself focused, and waited for them to take a look at the menu while hoping for them to be faster because I was uneasy being around Jake in the public.
I could feel some people noticed me and him together. I didn't want any news about us to be spread on the internet again. I just wanted to run away right now.
Jake took the menu from Kai and purposely looked at the menu longer. I could feel the pain coming again. I didn't want to be obvious in front of him. If he caught me hurting, he would use that excuse to approach me again.
"How can I know if the food is popular among the customer?" He asked.
I went closer to the table and pointed my finger at every food that was frequently chosen by the customers and got the highest rate among them.
"Explain everything about the top choice of foods to him, Han Jina."
Mr.Lee said as he watched me and him together. I took a glance at Jake and parted my lips when he waited for me to explain the food to him.
"This food is popular because the sauce tastes so different compared to other sauces that are sold in the supermarket."
"It's originally made by our chefs and most customers find it unique since it's hard for them to get this type of sauce in another restaurant."
I paused when Jake suddenly reached his hand to the pocket of my apron and put something in it. I took a glance at his hand on my apron and cleared my throat before continue explaining to him.
As soon as he took his hand away, he smiled at me and pointed his fingertip at the food that I talked about.
"I want this, please."
After I have finished taking the order, I went to the counter and registered the order in the system.
While waiting for another customer to come, I took a seat on the chair and used the chance to massage my lower part until the pain was gone. I took a glance at the pocket of my apron and took out the thing that Jake put in earlier.
My gaze softened when it was a menstrual patch and tabs of relief pills. I applied the patch under my belly and finally felt better after fighting the pain.
"Han Jina, can I have a glass of hot water?"
I immediately went to the kitchen to take a glass of hot water and carefully walked to the customer.
My eyes widened when kids suddenly bumped into me as they were playing around the restaurant causing the hot water to spill on my sleeve. I quickly approached the customer as the hot water also spilled on his chair, and almost got on his body.
He got off the chair and groaned in pain causing everyone in the restaurant to look at us weirdly. I stood at the same place, anxiously asking the customer if he was alright even though my condition worsened than him.
I gripped my wrist as it hurts me, and rolled up the sleeve. I looked at my wrist as it got redden. I knew that I needed to wash it with cold water as soon as possible.
before I could go to the kitchen, I was surprised when the customer grabbed my wrist and suddenly scolded me in front of everyone. I groaned in pain when he gripped it tightly and begged him to let go of me.
"It hurts."
He scoffed,
"It hurts me too! What if the hot water spill on my body?! Do you want my skin to get burned?! Do you want me to spill them on your back?!"
"I'm sorry," I said to him with tears forming on my cheeks.
"Is that how you apologized? You should get on your knee and apologize properly!"
He gripped my wrist tighter causing me to groan in pain.
"Apologize!"
I nodded quickly and got on my knee without minding everyone who was watching the scene.
"Stand up, Han Jina."
I lifted my head when Heeseung came toward me and hold my hand tightly. I was confused. I had no idea where did he come from. I stared at him for a long time and shook my head.
"I'm sorry. It's my fault for not being careful."
I said and was surprised when Heeseung suddenly pulled me behind him and approached the customer coldly.
I stayed on his back and looked away when my gaze met Jake.
"Don't you see her wrist? She almost got burned too. Did the hot water spill on your skin? If you did, show me the burn."
Heeseung talked to the customer angrily, and never let me go from him. The customer got nervous when everyone watched the scene and wanted to see the skin where he got to burn. He sighed heavily and bowed as apologized.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't get mad at you."
Heeseung glanced at me who was still in pain and brought me to the back of the kitchen, where the restroom for the staff was located by using the back door. He held my hand in front of everyone and walked past Jake and his friends as if nothing happened.
Kai and Kyeongjun took a glance at Jake as his reaction changed into a cold one. As soon as I walked past him, I suddenly stopped on my way when Jake held my free hand.
I shrugged my hand away from him and continued following Heeseung from behind.
****
"I'm glad that it didn't burn your wrist."
I watched him wearing the crepe bandage around my wrist. After he has finished, he helped me to lean my back against the wall and watched me anxiously.
"Thank you, Mr.Lee."
He nodded in response.
"Please be careful next time, Han Jina."
"Why are you here, Mr.Lee? Aren't you supposed to go back to work at this hour?"
Heeseung took a glance at the digital clock on his wrist and hummed in response.
"I came because Jaehyuk asked me to pack the food for him. I was glad that I witnessed the scene. I couldn't bear seeing you get treated that way."
Our shoulders slightly brushed each other as he sat next to me.
"I was glad that I was fast." He chuckled making me softly laugh.
"I need to go back to work now. Please ask Namjin to pick you up."
I patted Heeseung on the shoulder and watched him leave the restroom. He stopped at the door, came towards me, and brushed my hair before finally leaving the room.
"Take care, Han Jina."
"Goodbye, Mr.Lee."
I watched him until he was gone from my sight. Again, my body was in pain. I still felt so sleepy after taking a long nap earlier. So, I decided to take a rest by sleeping in the restroom until I felt better.
****
It was midnight and I finally woke up from sleeping after Rumi woke me. I fixed my position carefully and smiled at Rumi as she helped me to get up.
"Is your wrist okay?"
"It's good now. Thank you for your concern."
The restaurant was closed at this time and as usual, I was the one who needed to do the closing before I went home. I didn't find it a burden because I didn't do anything after the accident happened. I needed to do the task as a way to help my friends who were working without me earlier.
"I will go home first, Han Jina."
I watched Rumi leave the restaurant and went to the kitchen to do the closing.
As soon as I arrived at the kitchen, my step stopped when I saw Jake doing the dishes. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't dreaming and took a step away when he looked at me back.
I went towards him and held his apron to pull him away.
"This is my job. You should leave."
I muttered, watching him doing the dishes. He refused to listen to me. He fixed his apron and focused on his work silently. I pulled him away again as he didn't listen to me.
"You should take a rest. I know you're having a hard time today." He replied.
"I can do this alone."
He shook his head,
"Take a rest, Jina."
I grabbed the apron, wore it on me, and stood next to him causing our shoulders to slightly touch each other. I washed the dishes silently and acted as if he wasn't there with me.
I put more plates in the sink, dipped them into
the bubbles, and cleaned them. Jake stared at me and looked away when I caught him.
"I'm sorry." He spoke up while doing his work.
I waited for him to continue.
"For not being aware of your consent. It might be hard for you to hold the pain alone."
"I'm sorry for not being able to control myself when I was with you."
I shut my mouth and didn't reply to him.
"I hope the menstrual patch and pills will help you."
He waited for me to answer. I sighed heavily.
"Leave me alone, Jake. I don't want to see you come to this restaurant anymore."
Jake looked at me.
"I won't leave you until you're healed from the pain you got."
"Leave me alone. I can endure the pain alone. I'm not a little kid."
"You're a little kid to me. The little kid I want to take care of." He commented calmly.
"The little kid that you were wished to be dead."
I replied to him.
Jake sighed, "I didn't mean to say that."
I abruptly stopped and faced him.
"It sounds so easy for you, right? It's hard for me to forget every single word that you said to me that day. I was in the hardest time because of that, and this is what you said to me."
"You acted as if nothing happen. It makes me hate you harder."
Jake asked me seriously, never breaking his gaze off me.
"What should I do to make you forgive all of my wrongdoings to you, Han Jina?"
"The only thing to do is to leave me alone."
I pushed him away and gasped when I almost slipped on the floor. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him.
I shrug his arm away from me and took a step away from him.
"You can't even take care of yourself. How can you protect yourself without me?"
He mumbled.
"You're not the only man I knew. I will meet someone better than you. Someone who will take care of me and protect me."
"Like how you protect Choi Yurim."
His reaction changed as I mentioned her name.
"I still want to be the one who will take the responsibility for you."
He replied, didn't want to give up at all.
"I was the woman you rejected, Jake. Don't you remember? Don't you remember your first love anymore?"
"Don't ever dream of doing your responsibility on me when you have no feeling for me."
"I'm scared if I fall in love with you for the second time and end up, will get treated the same way twice. I don't want to be in that phrase anymore."
"I don't want you to approach me because you want to do your responsibility. I don't want you to do that. So, stop telling me the same thing twice."
"I want you to approach me because you're serious about me. When you have a feeling for me. When you love me because you do, not because you feel lonely without your love, not because you miss spending your time with your love."
"I want you to come to me because you truly and sincerely want me, not because you feel regret for treating me unfairly in the past."
"I want you to come to me because you do."
"Not because of this."
I untied the apron as I finished doing my work,
"Leave me alone, Jake. I can take care of myself alone."
Jake untied his apron and approached me.
"What if I'm serious about you?"
"What if I'm serious, Han Jina?"
He held my hand causing me to stop on my way.
"Please don't stop falling in love with me."
I shrugged my hand off him and left the place.
****
It's been almost two weeks since they left each other but Jake still came to the restaurant to take a look at Jina if she was doing good. He stayed in the car, watched every staff who was working in the restaurant, and sighed heavily when Jina still wasn't with them.
He tried to reach her but he failed. It was his fault for deleting her number and now he lost every detail about her. He stayed in the car, and couldn't help himself anymore. He wanted to know more about her information from her friends.
He approached Rumi and stopped her. Rumi looked at him surprisingly and parted her lips when Jake asked her to lower her voice.
"Do you know where Han Jina is?"
Rumi replied to Jake,
"She resigned two weeks ago."
Jake sighed,
"Can I have her number from you?"
Rumi was hesitant. She has her number but she wasn't sure if Jina would be good with this. She held her phone longer and looked at Jake straight in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think Jina will like this."
"Do you know where she lives?"
She shook her head.
"It was too detailed. She will never tell anyone about it."
****
"The smell."
I tugged my face into the pillow as I saw the food that Namjin brought for me. Jaehyuk stared at me blankly as he found my behavior was so strange lately.
"It's red bean noodles. It's your favorite."
I shook my head and held my nose,
"Put them away from me."
Namjin held the food for a long time.
"I was so excited to eat this with you."
"I'm sorry but the smell is too strong. Where did you buy the food?"
"It's from our favorite restaurant."
I tugged my lips as I got the feeling of nausea again. I covered my mouth with my palm and immediately went to the bathroom to throw everything. Namjin put the food away and followed me from behind.
She patted my back causing me to throw up harder.
"It's been two weeks, Han Jina. Do you want to go to the clinic? I can send you off."
I shook my head,
"I'm good."
I threw up again and pinched my head as I got so dizzy. I washed my face and stared at the mirror for a long time.
"Can you ask Jaehyuk to buy food for me?"
"What do you want, Han Jina?"
"I want a few bags of potato chips and four slices of cake. If there are any brownies, please ask him to buy two boxes of them."
Namjin gasped,
"Do you want to eat all of them alone?"
I nodded. "I starve them so much."
I wiped my tears as I suddenly felt so emotional. Namjin shook her head in disbelief.
"It's been a long time since I haven't eaten them. I wonder how it tastes now." I cried again.
"Did she cry because of food?" Jaehyuk came and asked Namjin curiously.
Namjin nodded and whispered to Jaehyuk
"Go to the pharmacy and buy the pregnancy test."
Jaehyuk raised his eyebrows in confusion.
"Why?"
"Just buy them."
"Is it the covid-19 test?"
Namjin hit Jaehyuk on the shoulder,
"What the fuck are you talking about?
****
I lay on the bed and tucked the blanket around me as I got so tired these days. As I was about to fall asleep, I opened my eyes when I received a call from someone. I took the phone that I placed on the table and answered the call when it was from Mrs.Do.
"Hello, Mrs.Do..."
"Hello, Han Jina. How are you? What's wrong with your voice? Are you sick? Are you okay?"
I hummed in response.
"Why did you call me, Mrs.Do? Did something happen?"
"SHINE HIGH Ent. is currently looking for a manager for one of our artists. I heard that you're resigning from your work. Are you looking for a job?"
"I would like to choose you if you're interested to be a manager of my artist. I think you must be so good at doing this job since you were once a secretary to the director of one of the companies in this country."
I smiled excitedly,
"Whose artist will I work with?"
"It's Han Jangwoo. Do you know him?"
"Yes."
"Are you interested to get this job, Jina?"
"Yes, Mrs.Do. Thank you for offering this job to me. I have been looking for a job for weeks."
She chuckled.
"Let's meet at the company tomorrow. You should meet him."
I smiled as she ended the call and excitedly went towards Namjin as she finally arrived home after going out with Jaehyuk.
"I got a job, Namjin."
Namjin laughed at me as she found my behavior so cute. She took the plastic sweets and handed them to me.
"It's yours."
I grinned,
"Thank you, Namjin."
My smile slowly faded away when she brought me to the bathroom and handed me a pregnancy test to me. I looked at the test in confusion and shifted my gaze to Namjin.
"Is that yours?" I asked her.
She shook her head immediately.
"It's yours."
I blankly looked at her.
"Why did you ask me to do this?"
"I think you know better than me, Jina."
I took a moment to respond and finally agreed to do the test.
Namjin waited for me outside the bathroom while waiting for me to be done.
After five minutes, I walked out of the bathroom and was surprised when Namjin shoved me into the bathroom to take a look at the result in my hand.
I hid it on my back,
"How's the result?"
I looked at her for a long time, didn't say anything to her.
****
The next day, I woke up late in the morning as I slept late after having a long and deep conversation with Namjin on the bed. It was the first day of work but I already ruined it. Mrs.Do would get so mad at me for making her wait for me for almost an hour.
I took a taxi to the company and asked the driver to stop me by the main entrance. Without wasting any time, I went into the building and greeted Mrs.Do who was with her friends.
"I'm so sorry for being late, Mrs.Do."
"I'm sorry!"
I bowed and waited for Mrs.Do to scold me but she didn't. I lifted my head to look at her and was surprised when she handed me a pass card to me.
Mrs.Do sweetly smiled at me and brought me into the building. I followed her from behind, had no idea what was going on. I bowed to some people who were walking past me and held my excited when I saw a group of actresses greet me and Mrs.Do.
I watched them in amazed and focused on Mrs.Do as she spoke to me.
"Han Jangwoo will be starting a new drama soon. Today will be the first day of his first meeting with his fellow actors and actress who will work with him. It's the romance drama."
I nodded in understanding.
"They will gather at the table and read their scripts in front of me and Mr.Hwang. You should stay in the room and wait until Han Jangwoo finishes with his work."
"I will introduce you to him. He is a nice man. Don't worry."
She chuckled as she found me nervous about meeting him. As soon as we arrived at the meeting room, I took a deep breath and shook my head when I got nervous.
Mrs.Do went into the meeting room with Mr.Hwang by her side and told me to walk into the room with them. I nodded and followed them from behind.
I went into the room and stopped on my way when Mrs.Do wrapped her arm around me to introduce me in front of everyone.
"This is Han Jina, a manager for Han Jangwoo. It's her first day here. Please treat her well."
Everyone clapped their hands to me. I looked at Han Jangwoo and smiled at him as he greeted me nicely. I greeted others politely and stopped when I saw Jake sitting next to Jangwoo.
I looked at him for a long time and shifted my gaze away when the moment the result of the pregnancy test crossed my mind. I shook my head and immediately took a seat in the corner of the room when Mrs.Do allowed me to leave.
"Have you heard about the information from your manager before you came to this meeting?"
"We will be shooting the half of drama in Bali and come back to Korea after two weeks," Jangwoo spoke up.
I widened my eyes when I heard that.
I looked at Jake and looked away when I got caught staring at him.
He raised his hand,
"Is everyone in this room will go to Bali too?"
Mr.Hwang nodded.
"Everyone should go with us. I thought you know about it, Jake. It's not the first time you're shooting outside the country, right?"
Jake smiled,
"I'm just asking."
"Is that mean our manager will spend their time in Bali for two weeks too?"
"Yes. Everyone in this room is included."
Jake raised his eyebrows and bite his lips as our gazes met. He smirked, played with his hair, and focused on the director's speech seriously.