Chapter 05: The Rescue Mission!
*Alice's POV*
We left the town of DuLoc, as reluctant as I was because I really wanted to play the welcome booth thing again and sing along to it.
It was so cute~
We're now quite a bit of a distance away from the kingdom, currently walking through a field of beautiful giant sunflowers.
I was walking next to Donkey when he brought about the subject about the quest. "Okay, let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a Princess, just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp, which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?"
"I wouldn't necessarily call them freaks exactly..." I mumbled.
Shrek sighed. "You know what? Maybe there's a good reason why donkey's shouldn't talk."
"But he does actually make a fair point." said Zero.
Shrek threw some corn away while Donkey spoke again. "I don't get it. Why don't you pull some of that ogre stuff on him. You know, throttle him, lay siege to his fortress." He was now walking next to Shrek, who took a huge bite of an onion, while I stayed back to admire the sunflowers as we walked. "Grind his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip."
"Maybe because there is a very big chance that he'll end up locked away in a dungeon for the rest of his life." Zero pointed out.
"Oh, I know what!" Shrek turned to Donkey. "Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?"
"Uh...no, not really." Donkey shook his head. "No."
I visibly cringed. "That doesn't sound good to me, either. It sounds absolutely vile."
Zero chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. "Eh, that doesn't sound so bad. Could be worse."
I stared at the back of Zero's head in disgust. "You are absolutely disgusting, Zero. What could be any worse than that?"
"For your information, there's a lot more ogres than people think." Shrek pointed out.
"Example?" Donkey asked, intrigued.
Shrek looked confused. "Example?" He stopped walking, making the three of us stop as well. "Okay, um...ogres are like onions."
Donkey sniffed the onion Shrek was holding. "They stink?"
"Yes...no!" Shrek yelled.
I giggled. "Kinda like Zero after he climbs a few trees just to get to your house, even though he literally lives across the street."
He glanced behind me and glared. "Hey! I have you know, that is the sweet smell of nature, not onions."
I tilted my head to the side. "Then why don't you rub one of these pretty sunflowers on you so you can smell like nature?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Alice. That's just weird."
"Not as weird as you climbing trees just to get to my place, when you could've just walked there. Just saying." I practically sang at the end.
"...Whatever."
Anyway, going back to Donkey trying to guess how ogres are apparently similar to onions...."Oh, they make you cry?"
"No!"
"Oh...you leave them out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs."
"No, layers!" Shrek yelled, presenting the onion to Donkey again. He started peeling the onion layer by layer. "Onions have layers." He then pointed to himself. "Ogres have layers. Onions have layers."
He got right up in Donkey's face. "You get it? We both have layers." He gave up trying to explain it to Donkey and threw the onion to the ground with a sigh, then started walking again.
"Oh, you both have layers. Oh..." Donkey sniffs the onion again. "You know, not everybody like onions."
I giggled. "But you know what everyone does love?"
Donkey ran towards Shrek with Zero and I running from behind. "Cake! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers."
Shrek stopped and turned to Donkey. "I don't care what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes." He walked away again.
"Come on, let's forget about it and keep going." I said before running to catch up with Shrek.
"You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits." I could hear Zero and Donkey's footsteps behind me, running to catch up as well. "Have you ever met a person, you say: 'Hey, let me get some parfait', they say: 'No, I don't like no parfait'? Parfaits are delicious."
We stopped again for the third or fourth time...I lost count....
Shrek turned to yell at Donkey. "No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story. Bye-bye. See ya later."
Zero and I ran ahead to catch up to Shrek, leaving Donkey to talk about parfaits again before catching up to us. "Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet."
Shrek moved the tall sunflowers out of the way so we could see where the path ahead was. "You know, I think I preferred you humming."
"Well, in that case-"
"No!" Zero rudely interrupted me. "No, we are not going to hear the 'Welcome To DuLoc' song again. Hell no."
I pouted. "Aw, you're such a party pooper, Zero."
"Well, too bad." He said.
"Do you have a tissue or something?" Donkey asked Shrek. "Because I'm making a mess. Just the word Parfait made me start slobbering."
~Time Skip~
After a long day and night of walking, we settled down for the night by a warm fire Shrek and Zero made. Shrek tried to put the fire out the next day by stepping on it, but burned his foot in the process.
We were currently a rocky mountain with no problem at all, though my feet were really started to feel sore. It would've been so much easier if I could fly to the tower instead.
Donkey stopped all of a sudden. "Ooh! Shrek! Did you do that? You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open and everything."
I laughed loudly whilst trying not to trip up. "If it's a fart, then it's probably Zero's."
"Nothing wrong with letting one rip." Zero defended.
I shook my head in disgust. "Don't be so disgusting."
Shrek took a quick glance at us from behind him then stopped. "Believe me you guys, if it was me, you'd be dead." He took a good whiff of the air and looked around. "It's brimstone. We must be getting close." He said before walking ahead.
"Yeah, right, brimstone." Donkey said, not believing a single word Shrek said.
The three of us were back to walking up the rocky mountain again, listening to Donkey talking about brimstone. "Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone, nor was it Zero. It didn't come off no stone neither."
Zero sent a smug look my way, making me scoff. "Thank you for clarifying that for everyone, Donkey. Much appreciated."
The four of us climbed up a huge rock wall and looked over the edge. To say there was just a teeny tiny bit of fire was an understatement. It was literally a swimming pool made of fire, don't go mistaking it for a relaxing hot spring either.
I whistled. "Whoa, one step in that lava, and you're a goner for sure."
"Not only that, but that's one big castle." Zero marvelled.
Shrek turned to us and laughed. "Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location."
Shrek jumped over the wall and made his way down, Zero also jumped over, but held his hand out for me to take. I took his hand gratefully and managed to climb over the wall, thanks to Zero's help.
"Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said th-that ogres have layers?" Donkey said nervously as he walked behind us.
Shrek took a quick glance behind him to look at Donkey, before facing the front again. "Oh, aye?"
I let got of Zero's hand and waited for Donkey to jump. "What's wrong, Donkey?"
He jumped down and sighed with his head facing down as the both of us walked behind Zero and Shrek. "Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Um...Donkey's don't have layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves."
Donkey and I caught up to Shrek and Zero, who stopped in front of the extremely long bridge.
Shrek did a double take. "Wait a second, donkeys don't have sleeves."
I chuckled. "Don't you mean fur, Donkey?"
"You guys know what I mean."
Shrek tried not to laugh. "You can't tell me your afraid of heights."
Donkey walked forward a little and spoke in a high pitched voice. "No...I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rocky bridge over a boiling lake of lava!"
I hand my hand up and gulped nervously. "He's got a point, actually. I mean, the height isn't so bad...but I don't feel like being burnt to a crisp, especially before presenting myself to a Princess."
"Come on Donkey, Alice. Zero and I will be right here beside ya, okay?"
Zero nodded. "That's right. We'll make sure no one finds your burned corpses." Stupid jerk can never take things seriously.
This made Shrek laugh as he took a step on the bridge. "For...emotional support. We'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time." He pushed Donkey forward so he was at the front, then pushed me as well. Zero was right behind me, and Shrek himself was at the very back.
Donkey turned his head to look at Shrek. "Really?"
Shrek nodded reassuringly. "Really, really."
I gave Donkey a thumbs up, even though I was still uncertain about all this. "It'll be okay, Donkey. We've got your back."
Donkey turned to face the front again, looking and probably feeling as nervous as I was about this. "Okay, that makes me feel so much better."
"Just keep moving." Shrek urged him. "And don't look down." The four of us finally started moving on this death trap.
Donkey nodded. "Okay, don't look down."
"Don't. Look. Down." I repeated.
Donkey started reassuring himself, repeating the same words over and over again. "Don't look down, don't look down, don't look down. Keep on moving, and don't look down."
"Careful guys." Zero spoke up as the bridge started wobbling from side to side slightly.
When Donkey took another step, that same wooden step cracked and descended to the hot lava lake below.
Donkey gasped. "Guys! I'm lookin' down!" He spun around abruptly, making me jump in surprise. Fortunately, Zero placed his hands on my back to steady me. "Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off right now, please!"
"But you're already halfway." Shrek pointed out.
"Yeah, but I know that half is safe!" Donkey yelled.
"Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back." Shrek tried to manoeuvre his way past us, but that ended up with Zero wrapping his arms around my waist so I wouldn't slip and fall into the lava.
Donkey yelled frantically. "Shrek, no! Wait! Just-"
"Donkey, let's have a dance then, shall we?" The bridge was wobbling too much, I'm not sure how long it can hold for...
Donkey kept stepping from side to side, then jumped back. "Don't do that!"
"Shrek!" Zero yelled.
"Donkey!" I shouted.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Do what?" Shrek asked sarcastically to Donkey. "Oh, this?" Shrek was purposely moving the bridge around, making all of us move from side to side.
"Yes, that!" Donkey yelled.
"Yes? Yes, do it. Okay." Shrek continued to move the bridge around again.
Donkey and I screamed. "No, Shrek! No, stop it!"
"Shrek, stop!" Zero shouted.
"You said do it! I'm doin' it!" Shrek yelled, still making the bridge wobble.
"I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die." Donkey said frantically.
What Donkey didn't realise, and what I've just seen myself, was that he was not only walking backwards, but he managed to reach the other side and got off the bridge, all while he had his eyes closed.
He opened his eyes and smiled as he finally noticed that he wasn't on the bridge anymore. "Oh!"
Shrek stopped making the bridge wobble and walked forward at a normal pace, as if nothing had happened. Once he got off the bridge, he patted Donkey's right cheek. "That'll do, Donkey. That'll do."
Zero let go of my waist and held my hand instead, dragging me along with him to the end of the bridge.
Once we finally got off, I let out a long sigh of relief. "Thank goodness we're not on that death trap anymore."
Zero chuckled. "Come on, I'm sure you enjoyed it deep down."
"No." I said flatly. "I'm never walking on bridges ever, ever, ever, again."
"Come on, let's go." Zero said, letting go of my hand. We jogged a little and managed to keep in pace with Shrek and Donkey.
"So, where is this fire-breathing pain in the neck anyway?" Donkey asked.
"Inside, waiting for us to rescue her." Shrek said, making Zero laugh.
"I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek."
I shook my head and laughed. "I wouldn't be so rude as to call her a pain in the neck. It's not her fault she's been locked up here."
Donkey looked at me confused. "How do you know the dragon is a female?"
Oh dear unicorns, how do I explain this one exactly?
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"Because we shouldn't be sexist about it and just assume that the dragon is a male, ya know?" Great! Nice save, Alice.
The guys didn't dare to answer back, which was pretty surprising.
When we walked inside the castle, the only sounds you could hear were water dripping, the wind howling...I think this place would make for a good haunted castle, maybe throw a Halloween party in here. Now that would be totally awesome!
"You afraid?" Donkey whispered to Shrek.
"No, but-Shh." Shrek said with a finger to his lips.
Donkey had his head down. "Oh, good. Me neither." Shrek, Zero and I, carried on walking, leaving Donkey behind to talk to himself.
He gasped, than ran to catch up to us. "'Course there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. Ya know, fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation."
We were walking up some steps while Donkey was still mumbling out loud. "Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add. With a dragon that breaths fire, and eats knights, and breaths fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. You know what I mean?"
I walked next to Donkey so I could talk to him. "Are you feeling okay, Donkey?"
"I-I'm fine...perfectly fine. You don't need to worry about little ol' me." Donkey stuttered.
I smiled and stroked his fur. "There's nothing wrong with being afraid, ya know? Everyone has to be afraid of at least something, right?"
Donkey nodded and grinned. "Yeah...yeah, you're right. Thanks Alice."
"Sure, no problem Donkey." I said.
"I sure as heck ain't no coward, I know that-Oof!" Donkey didn't look where he was going and ended up walking into some metal armer. He somehow managed to fit his head into the helmet, making him gasp.
Shrek held two fingers up. "Donkey, two things, okay? Shut. Up." He placed his hand on the helmet and grabbed it, then placing it on his own head. "Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs."
"Stairs?" Donkey asked a little confused. "I thought we was lookin' for the Princess?"
"The Princess will be up stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower." Shrek started explaining while grabbing a few pieces of the armer, then walked away.
"What make's you think she'll be there?" Donkey asked.
Shrek turned round to face Donkey. "I read it in a book once." And with that, he shut the lid of the helmet and walked away again.
Come to think of it...there's a chance Willow could be with Princess Fiona. It would be kinda strange if she did actually end up at some random bakery, come to think of it. Plus, seeing as Zero and I have been with Shrek and Donkey this entire time, then that must mean that Willow had probably been with Princess Fiona.
I turned to Zero. "Maybe you should go with Shrek. I have a strong feeling that Willow might be up there, too. I'll stay with Donkey, we'll be fine."
Zero thought for a moment then nodded. "Alright. Try not to get burned."
I rolled my eyes. "Gee, thanks. I'll remember that, especially if a unicorn rescues us."
Donkey smiled and nodded. "Cool. You handle the dragon, we'll handle the stairs."
"See ya." I waved at Zero before heading the opposite direction to them with Donkey.
"We'll find those stairs. We'll whip their butt, too." said Donkey.
I shook my head. "Just focus on finding a set of stairs. It's a little dark, so be careful where you walk, okay?"
Donkey nodded. "That's right. Those stairs won't know which way they're goin'."
We stopped in front of two huge wooden doors. I pushed them open as hard as I could, hearing a creaking sound as I opened them.
This place really does look like a haunted castle...
"We're gonna take drastic steps." Donkey said before we both started making our way inside and down the path. "Kick to the kerb. Don't mess with us, we're the stair masters. We've mastered the stairs...well, I have. I wish I had a step right here. I'd step all over it."
Donkey and I walked up a couple of stairs, but I stopped to look at a huge green eyeball staring right at us.
Thing is, I wasn't scared at all, and not because of watching the movie.
It's just...there's something else that's given me that feeling as soon as I looked at Dragon's eye, telling me to not be afraid of her.
"Dragon!!!" Donkey screamed as soon as he noticed her.
I gasped. "Donkey, no!"
Donkey and I ran away just in time before we would literally be burnt alive from Dragon's fire that came shooting straight out of her mouth. I didn't dare look behind me as she ran after us, roaring loudly.
"WHO THE HELL IS DISTURBING MY SLEEP THIS TIME?!"
Oh. My. Unicorns.
I'm probably just imagining it right now, but I could have sworn I heard a female voice literally screaming behind us where Dragon should be.
I decided to take a quick glance behind me, but could only see Dragon, which was really odd.
"PATHETIC WEAKLINGS!!"
My eyes went wide and I gasped out loud in surprise and realisation.
"Alice/Donkey!!" Shrek and Zero yelled to us.
Shrek quickly grabbed Donkey, and Zero quickly grabbed me, pulling us away just as Dragon sent another stream of fire towards us.
"Are you okay?" Zero asked.
I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."
I looked over to try and spot Dragon, only to find her advancing towards Donkey at a slower pace. Donkey was lying there on the floor whimpering in fear.
"Mmm, who's this fine looking specimen?"
Wait, hold on a sec...
"D-did you hear Dragon talk just now?" I asked a little confused.
Zero looked at me as if I had grown another head or something. "What? No, of course not. That's ridiculous."
I shook my head. "If it's ridiculous, then how am I able to hear her talk as if she were human?"
Zero looked at me in shock. "You, can understand Dragon? You can understand what she's saying?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I'm not sure how exactly, but apparently I can."
Zero looked like he was thinking for a moment. "I guess anything can happen when you're in a completely different world, huh?"
We made our way over to Donkey to try and move him safely away from Dragon.
Now that I'm aware I can understand what Dragon says, I wonder if that means I can talk to other animals and mythical creatures, too?
Oh, this is so cool!
Anyway, Zero and I were about to grab Donkey, when Shrek jumped onto Dragon's tail, making her sharply turn her head to him. "Got ya!"
"She doesn't look happy one bit." I said.
"LET GO OF ME!! WHO THE HELL SAID YOU COULD GRAB MY TAIL?! GET OFF OF ME, PEST!!"
Donkey quickly got up and ran over to Zero and I before Dragon could slam her claw down to the ground, creating a huge dent.
I looked at Zero and nodded in confirmation. "Yep, she's angry all right."
"Okay, you stay here with Donkey, I'm gonna try and help Shrek." Zero instructed before I could even say anything, running over to help Shrek.
I stood with Donkey as we watched Zero grab a hold of Dragon's tail tightly. Both Zero and Shrek were being swung back and forth by her tail.
"NOW THERE'S TWO OF YOU?!
I TOLD YOU THE FIRST TIME TO GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!!"
She swung her tail back one final time, before swinging it forward again.
This time however, Shrek and Zero were forced to let go and flew backwards, crashing through the roof of Princess Fiona's room.
"SHREK!! ZERO!!" I tried to shout, but I very much doubt they could hear me. It was worth a try at least.
I'm sure it won't be that bad, being here alone with Dragon that...at least now, I'll get to know Dragon, now that I found I can actually understand her.
You know what? Despite the circumstances, I still think this is awesome!
But that just leaves me with a lot of questions.
Guess I'll find the answers to my questions later on.
**End of Chapter 05**