/Title/
Never Again
|Disclaimer|
Depression, Detailed Self-harm, Blood
\Requested By\
sayoripoggers {SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!!!}
|POV|
Reader
It seemed as though everything was going wrong, almost. UA being attacked, the League seeming to tip toe closer and closer, and everything seemed to grow slower and slower. Was it just you?
The warm maroon liquid slowly curved the shape of your wrist, meeting at the center of the opposite side. A drop of the blood fell onto the blanket below, the fabric drinking it in. Another river traveled down a similar path, then another, then another.
Your furrowed your eyebrows, squeezing your newest cut to help the blood seep out. Once it seemed there wouldn't be anymore, you slowly guided your blade to the next available spot.
First, steady the blade. Next, push down. Third, slowly slide your blade to the empty space. You watched as your skin slowly divided, the velvet red turning maroon. A soft, yet emotionless smile danced their way to your lips.
"Six," you whispered to yourself, taking your index and thumb to squeeze at the cut to force more blood out. "What a lucky number..."
Your arm was pale, its usual {S/C} now a pale {white/pearl/pink/tan}. You found it pretty in a way, how your flesh seemed to fade as if it ran out of ink.
You barely registered the knock at your dorm door. You slowly lifted your head up, not registering it quick enough. When you heard it again you quickly, yet still jelly-like, tossed the blanket away after wiping your arm down with it. You then hid the blade under your mattress and raced to the door.
Making sure your bleeding arm was out of sight, you cracked the door a bit to see who it was first. Shoto has been about to knock once more until you opened it. He looked at you through the crack then curiously studied your pale, tired features.
"{L/N}?" He questioned, an eyebrow raising. "Are you alright? You aren't sick, are you?"
"A little," you sheepishly replied, laying your head on the door. "Was there something you needed?" You cleared your throat a bit, your cut hand shaking from its trauma.
"I came to ask if you wanted to watch a movie with some of us," he said calmly. "Midoriya wanted me to ask. Though if your sick I think you should get some rest."
"Yeah," you looked to the side. "I think I should. Sorry, Shoto," you chuckled nervously, wanting to wrap the conversation up. The blood was dripping down to the floor now.
He watched you a little longer. "Should I make you some soup..? I believe it may help you," He nodded to himself, not even letting you answer. "I'll be back."
"N-No, it's okay!" You called, though the boy left to get some despite your plea. You shut the door and locked it, cursing to yourself.
You rushed to grab the bloody blanket and cleaned up the blood on the floor with it. You then stuffed it under your bed and immediately took some spare bandages you had. You wrapped your arms messily, hoping to any god that it wouldn't come loose. You then quickly grabbed the first long sleeved shirt you had and put it on.
You hoped he didn't stay long.
As soon as he knocked you hesitantly opened the door. He held a bowl of warm soup and a plate of crackers. He looked at you and tilted his head slightly, silently asking for entrance.
You gave a calm smile before opening the door. He nodded to you before walking in and glancing around. You swallowed.
"You didn't have to," you said, closing the door.
"I wanted to," he said, looking at you. "I want to take care of you. I heard that if your sick and left unattended it could get worse."
He sat the soup and crackers on the desk you had before turning back. "You should lay down, I'll feed you."
You blushed madly, squeaking. "W-What? Feed me!?" You laughed nervously and shook your head. "I-I'm okay! Really!"
"Oh," he frowned, looking to the side. "Well you have no choice. Lay down." He looked back at you, serious.
You gulped but nodded slowly. You went to your bed and carefully climbed into bed. He took the crackers and soup and followed after you, sitting on the edge. He sat the crackers beside you then took a spoonful of the warm liquid.
He slowly blowed on the liquid, very careful holding it. You knew he was scared of hot liquid ever since he was a kid. Though despite that he was going to feed you.
"Open," he said, carefully taking the spoon and placing it by your lips. You obeyed and he carefully placed the spoon into your mouth. You placed your lips around it and he pulled the spoon out, dipping it back into the bowl.
You shifted, feeling a tad bit guilty. "Weren't you going to watch a movie?" You asked, not wanting him to keep his friends waiting. And you also wanted him to leave.
"I told Midoriya you were sick," he explained, taking another spoonful and blowing the steam away from its broth. "He understood."
He carefully placed the spoon back by your lips, resulting in you taking it. You swore he had a tiny smile at the corner of his lips. Was he liking this?
"You don't have to take care of me though," you defended after you swallowed. "So why do you insist on it?"
He paused for a minute. He then tilted his head for a moment. After a second he sat the bowl in his lap and looked down. "Hm..."
"Hm?" You mirrored, confused by his noise. What did that mean?
He turned to you then leaned forward. Your eyes grew, cheeks growing hot. He hovered a few inches from your face before gently kissing your lips, closing his eyes. You were shocked, what was he doing!? Why was he doing it!?
He didn't pull away though. You kissed back after another moment of hesitation. The corners of his mouth curled up at that. He placed the bowl and crackers on the night stand before adjusting to kiss you in a more comfortable position.
After a minute, he pulled away. His soft smile was still on his face, yet his eyes danced in so many emotions. You were red, surprised, and not able to speak.
Suddenly he rose your bandaged hand up to show you. "Now, I believe you should explain everything. Now."
Your bubbly emotions were cut in their tracks, and immediately filled with dread. He inched his face closer and narrows his eyes, no longer smiling. You gulped before taking your arm away. He didn't move his face.
"Tell me," he said again. "Or no kiss."
You looked to the side and he followed. He then looked back at you after you didn't reply. He sighed, not wanting to force you. He didn't want to be another cause to whatever was torturing your mind.
"Where's the blade?" He asked next, making that his next target. "Is it in the desk? Or around the bed? I'll find it sooner or later."
You sighed heavily then looked down. "Under... the mattress." You said quietly.
That was all he needed. He got up and carefully lifted the bed, not too much to hurt you while you still laid on it. He found the bloody blade and took it. He studied it before looking you dead in the eyes before putting it in his pocket.
He took your cheeks and studied your features for a moment. Then he kissed your head softly. "I have to tell someone, {Y/N}," he said calmly. "Who do you feel the most comfortable knowing? Mister Aizawa? All Might? No matter what, Recovery Girl will know anyway. Would rather just her know?"
He was so soft, gentle, and never moved to fast or spot too loud. He wanted to be sure you knew you were safe with him. He wanted to be your savior, or chance of redemption. He saw that same look in his eyes that he saw in his mother when you opened the door.
He knew from the moment you opened the door you had done something, though he didn't know what. That's why he made the soup, to test you. He knew you did something, though that something was a mystery until he got into bed. He had caught a glimpse of your sleeve.
You leaned into him, whimpering. You didn't know wether to cry or just break down. Shoto wrapped his arms around you and rubbed your back quietly. He was so gentle with you.
"Can you promise never to do it again? To come to me when you have bad thoughts?" He whispered, leaning his head into you. You felt the tears run down your cheeks, though if you replied verbally it would be more than just tears.
You slowly nodded and hugged him shakingly. He kissed your cheek softly before taking your hands when he pulled away.
"Never again."
~~~
Word Count:
1544
Artist Credit:
caveman on WallpaperCrave.Com
Music Credit:
N/A
Published On:
January 12, 2021