At night the same dream came back to me, the one which had constantly come for the past few years. The face of my parents, hiding their pain as they walked further and further away from their children. I shook myself awake, knowing what would come next. I couldn't... I can't bear to see it again.
The calendar across the room told me that it was the 21st of the seventh month. My birthday. And, the day I lost them.
The light flooding through the window juxtaposed the atmosphere which rested heavily in the house. I drifted over to the window, drawing the blinds to a close.
The summer holiday meant Suho was at home, all though Suji was working longer hours.
Through the hallways between our bedrooms, I watch Suho shuffle by his headphones connected to some device that was dangling near his calves. As always, he seemed to blend in with the shadows of the house, even in broad daylight.
Breakfast was more or less satisfactory. Whipping up a quick avocado toast, I sat down at the long table alone. There were once sixteen seats, but they had been removed, leaving only three. Suho decided to come back down once the smell drifted over to his room.
"When's Suji coming back?" I asked him quietly. The room echoed with the absence of furniture.
"She said maybe sometime at night. She's having some trouble at work," Suho replied.
An awkward silence filled the room. Today was a hard day for all of us. Both of our eyes drift over to the end of the table where our parents had sat.
"I've got to go," Suho said. "Akira wanted to ask me something and I just came down for breakfast." I nod as he sets his plate down by the sink and walks away from the dining room.
"By the way, Happy Birthday, Sua," he says, just as he closes his room door.
"Some birthday it is," I mutter under my breath.
-
As my sixteenth birthday came and went by like a rapid winter breeze, I found that I was finally of age for The Selection which, as Suji tells me, is necessary for everyone before the start of school. The early autumn leaves seemed brighter than usual as an unusual excitement buzzed in the air.
"Sua!" I hear my sister Suji calling me to her room.
"Yes?" I replied, unsure of what was to happen. My sister didn't like to socialize with me, for she was twenty and had already assured her position in society.
"I want you to put on these." My sister says as she hands me a black shirt with flowing cuffs and straight black pants. I studied these garments carefully, for I'd never seen them before. Perhaps my sister has bought new clothes? No, that couldn't be true. My sister hated black and preferred light colors, rather than the dark ones. Perhaps that was why she radiated light through each footstep. I draw closer to her.
"What are these for?" I ask her suspicious of her intentions.
"Just put them on. You're going somewhere," Suji replies, as she almost forces the clothes upon me.
"I'm going somewhere? By myself?"
"Yes, it's time for your trial." The trial. The end of my stay with my grandparents.
My grandparents had decided long ago that I would live with them until after my selection, then I would live at the dorms at school. Then they wouldn't care for the three of us. Ever since they made that proposition, Suji has been working non-stop, with odd jobs here and there. Suji had been saving up for college but had to give up her dreams by our parents' passing in the war. Suho did not provide any help. He spent his days at the dorms at school, playing pc games with his friends, or studying. That was the thing about Suho. He seemed like a free spirit, doing whatever he chose. He was quite the opposite, however. He was bound down by the restrictions school had put on him. He studied all day, and in the free time he had, he would game and sleep. Suho lived life like a robot, living on a clockwork schedule.
Suho is the opposite of my sister. As much as Suji was bright, Suho was dark. His dark features had won him looks at his school, and his aura around him seemed endlessly simmering with shadows. There were rumors that with Suho, it was like looking out into the universe beyond our home; his features were like stars in a black sky.
Suji was not always bright; Suho was not dark at first. It just happened that way. They used to both be joyful and happy, carefree with no burdens. After their sixteenth birthdays past, they seemed to be anchored by newfound baggage, and their personalities changed drastically. Perhaps it was how they dealt with it. Suji needed her joy to survive her hardships, while Suho chose to rest in the shadows as a safe escape from the cruelness in the world.
I didn't yet know what would happen to me. But I would soon find out.
After being dressed in the garments, Suji opened a portal that would lead to the square, where I was to go prerequisite my selection.
"Are you coming with me, Suji?" I asked, wondering what was to come.
"No, Sua. You must choose your path." I detected a hint of sadness from her smile. I could tell that her smile covered up the pain that she had, and it was the only way she could survive.
I bit my lip and nodded. After bidding my farewell to Suji, I stepped in the portal, ready for The Selection. The portal swirled around in a vortex, and the lights were dizzying. The teens all around me were in awe, staring at the dazzling light show. The portal seemed to travel on forever, but I knew time was fluid within the portal. Once I stepped off at the square, it would have only been a few seconds.
Finally, the portal came to a sudden halt. The portal dissolved, leaving me in the square, with bundles of people, all who seemed around the same age as I. Some were nervous, and some were excited, and I could tell that some were confused. Security ushered us into groups for the grand portals, which we would take to get to the sacred place, a place that had only existed in myths and legends for me. Now it was real.
Once we exited the grand portals, I found myself at a large glass dome, with rows and rows of sixteen-year-olds waiting in line for their turn to enter a small metal door. Once I reached the front of the crowd, I found myself facing that metal door, which had a gruesome appearance, with its harsh edges and sharp metal features. A mysterious figure led us down a dark corridor, which was torch lit. How odd. I thought. We hadn't used torches for ages. We had magic swirling through the cities, which provided enough light to get by. I slowly walked along, studied the faces around me. I am sure they studied me as well. There was nothing much to look at in the corridor, so we were watching the faces around us.
Soon the corridor gave way and revealed a grand arena. There were seats all around, placed around a large group of circles. There was a central circle, with sixteen circles surrounding it. The four rings located on the North, East, South, and West are huge, and all together, they completed the look of the arena. The head came upon us and explained a few sparse details of the predicament. Others around us direct us to an empty section of the seats. It is astounding, imagining that every sixteen-year-old from Asia was sitting in this arena, waiting to be selected.
The first few selections were awe-inspiring, but the next thousand seemed tedious for the spectators. At some point, I could hear those surrounding me buzzing for excitement as their names rang throughout the arena on loudspeakers of a sort. Most around me are bored out of their minds when waiting for their time to come.
Finally, I hear my name. I am directed to the center circle and told to stand up on a podium in the middle. As I study the arena from close, I notice that the elementum seemed to float upon the sixteen columns. They slowly rose higher and higher and stopped at the top. What was this supposed to mean? Would I not be chosen? Did I not have an elementum? The dizzying height of the columns started to tower over me and crowded me like haunted figures. Suddenly I could barely see in front of me. I felt myself gasping for oxygen and felt a drowning sensation. I was sinking, as cold fluids swirled around me. Water burst out in spirals and surrounded me, which sea spray misted over the audience. It was too much. I couldn't deal with it. I felt myself lose consciousness, and I sunk to the floor, weary and without energy.
When I woke, I found my brother standing over me.
"What," I say groggily. "Aren't you supposed to be over at the school."
Suho grimaces. "Yeah, about that. We are at school."
"How-" I cut off as I remember blacking out during The Selection. But... what had happened next?
"The professors brought you over here, separate from the other students," my brother muttered. "You're in the infirmary now."
The infirmary was long and wide, with a high ceiling. All the beds were neatly made, with myself being the only occupant of one.
"Come on, they said you can go. Let's head down for breakfast." Suho helps me up and leaves me down unrecognizable winding corridors and halls, which eventually open up into a grand hall.