All of the audience cheered loudly as Seventeen continued the performance by singing one of their hits song. I was excited to see their performance and clapped my hand when Mingyu appeared on the huge screen.
Jake stood next to me and watched the whole performance while vibing into the song. At this point, I didn't care about his presence anymore.
All I could think about was the presence of Seventeen. Even though they were performing far away for me, I was still happy that I got this chance to meet them.
I cheered along with the fans, and quickly acted behave when I realized that Jake was staring at every move of me. I tucked my hair behind my ear and clapped slowly while watching the performance quietly.
I got annoyed when some people started to get so crowded. They created a mess by pushing and hurting each other to get to the front. I
"Don't push each other!"
"It hurts! Stop pushing me!"
"We want to watch the performance too!"
Jake held my hand and brought me to the back when all of them started to fight at the gate. I looked at his hand on mine, then glued my gaze on him for a long time until he looked at me back.
He slowly let go of my hand and put his hand on the pocket.
"Is there any seat left? I don't think we can enjoy the performance here."
"The seat got sold out. I was too late."
I replied to him softly and leaned my body closer to him causing our shoulders slightly touched each other. I looked at him again, and couldn't help but fell for him harder because he looks so attractive.
This moment made my heart pound so fast.
I continued watching the performance and sighed when I couldn't see the stage well because everyone in front of me was taller than me.
"I can't see anything."
I mumbled and stood on my tiptoe to watch the performance but still, I couldn't see anything.
I looked around the place to see if there was any chair for me to stand on, and was surprised when Jake suddenly held my hand making me look at him in confusion.
Jake went towards me, bend his body to his knee, and patted his shoulder.
"Get on my back."
He took a glance at me again,
"Get on my back, Han Jina."
I smiled at him and got on his back carefully. I rest my chin on his shoulder and stared at his side profile silently. I tucked my lips as I couldn't help myself from smiling like an idiot.
I was so happy, I felt like my heart was about to explode when I saw him this close.
I wrapped my arm around his neck and continued staring at him instead of watching the performance. I shut my eyes and appreciated the moment while it lasts.
I would never have the chance to meet him and I would never have the chance to get on his back again. So, I didn't want to waste this chance. I wanted to be with him longer.
"Jina, did you watch the performance?"
He spoke up making me open my eyes and fix my eyes on the front. I nodded slowly,
"I'm enjoying the performance, Jake."
Jake hummed in response and carried me longer while watching the performance.
The performance continued for almost 10 minutes and we still stayed in our position as if it was just us in this world.
"Thank you for watching our performance!" Seventeen said happily and bowed respectfully before leaving the stage and bidding goodbye to the audience.
Jake cleared his throat and softly spoke.
"It's already ended."
I shook my head,
"Not yet. What if they will come back and perform their latest song?"
I wrapped my arm around him tighter, didn't want him to let go of me. Jake carried me longer and watched some people who were already leaving.
"Their fans are leaving. It's already ended."
He spoke up.
I shook my head again,
"They will come back, Jake."
Jake took a glance at me, and bend his body to his knee as he wanted to let go of me but I refused to let go of him. I stayed on his back and didn't let go of my arm from him even though he told me to get off his back.
"Han Jina."
I shut my eyes and pretended to be sleeping.
"Jina."
I yawned and grinned when he carried me again. I stayed on his back and shut my eyes as he took a glance at me. He shook his head in disbelief and walked around the place to look for the store to buy some food and drinks.
"Stay here."
He placed me on the chair carefully, took out his wallet from his pocket, and walked into the store after fixing his mask.
I opened my eyes slowly, waited for him for five minutes, and grinned when I saw him walking out of the store with a bag of food and drinks in his hand. He went towards me, and but all of them on the table.
"What did you buy?"
I looked at him as he took out a small box of cake from the bag. He served the cake on the table and handed it to me causing me to clap my hand excitedly and smile at him.
He just crossed his arm and watched me move silently.
"Thank you, Jake."
"Can you sing a happy birthday to me?"
He widened his eyes and immediately shook his head. "Just eat the cake."
I leaned my chair closer to him,
"Please."
He rolled his eyes, suddenly grabbed the spoon from my hand, and shoved the cake into my mouth causing the cream to get on my cheeks and nose.
He cackled as he saw that.
Jake took out his phone and took a picture of my face while holding his laughter. I looked at his annoyance and paid him revenge by applying the cream on both of his cheeks causing him to be so surprised.
"Han Jina." He looked at himself through the camera, and wiped it off but again, I applied it to him. I laughed as I saw his reaction.
I got off the chair, widened my eyes when he took out the drink that he bought, and slowly walked towards me.
"What are you going to do, Jake?"
"Don't you think this chocolate milk will make your body get so sticky once I pour it on you?"
I shouted when he fastened his step towards me. We ran around the theme park together and didn't mind everyone who was staring at us weirdly.
"Come here, Han Jina!"
****
It was one in the morning but we were still around the theme park. There was a beach nearby the theme park, so I decided to bring Jake to the beach to have a deep conversation with him. He didn't say anything, just walked along with me.
I took a glance at him who was walking by my side and looked away when he caught me. I smiled like an idiot, I felt so happy to see him here with me. Jake didn't know about this but he honestly made my birthday better. I felt so thankful for him for being here with me.
I didn't know the reason he stayed with me but I hope he wanted to stay with me longer too.
I reached my hand to hold his hand, then hugged myself when he shrugged my hand away from him. He put his hand on the pocket and continued gazing at the stars silently.
"Jake, what's your opinion on first love?"
Jake turned to look at me and chuckled.
"Why did you ask?"
I smiled at him, "I'm curious."
Jake cleared his throat, slowed his steps, and talked to me.
"We have met a lot of people in this life, and fell in love with them."
"When I was six, I fell in love with my kindergarten friend and when I was 12, I fell in love with my middle school friend."
"Did you understand what I mean?"
I nodded,
"Everyone falls in love with a different person when they are growing up and that's normal."
Jake nodded,
"What's your opinion about first love?"
I replied to him,
"First love referred to the first person who makes us fall in love. The first person who makes our heart beat so fast. Sometimes, it happened when we were kids, and sometimes, it happened when we were teenagers."
Jake replied,
"But to me, first love referred to the person who is always in my mind. the person who makes me think about them a lot of time a day, the person who makes me so happy when they come to me, and the person who makes my life better."
I asked him,
"Is that mean. Choi Yurim wasn't the first person you fell in love with?"
"Ye, but Choi Yurim is the one who stayed the longest in my heart. The one that I couldn't forget for years and the one that make my heart beat so fast. That means, she is my first love."
I nodded and smiled when he looked at me.
"Is Heeseung the first person you fell in love with?"
I nodded, "He is the first person I fell in love with."
"Is he your first love too?"
Jake asked me curiously.
I took a moment to answer. I looked at Jake longer and played with my fingers. Jake raised his eyebrows in confusion.
"If it referred to your perspective about first love, Heeseung is not the answer."
I replied to him.
Jake stopped on his way and faced me.
"Why Heeseung isn't the answer?"
I lowered my head and became so nervous. I patted my chest as my heart started to beat so fast.
I glued my gaze at him,
"If it referred to your perspective about first love,"
"My answer is you."
Jake didn't give any reaction. I reached my hand to hold his hand but he quickly put his hand on the pocket again.
we went silent.
"I love you, Jake."
Jake looked at me longer. I lowered my head and didn't dare to look in his eyes.
"It shouldn't happen." Jake finally replied.
I nodded, "I know."
Jake spoke up again.
"I'm sorry, Han Jina but I don't think my feeling would change for someone else."
I played with my fingers silently and nodded again.
"I'm sorry for falling in love with you, Jake."
I pouted my lips as tears rolled on my cheeks.
"Don't fall in love with me, Han Jina."
Jake cleared his throat and spoke up.
"Let's go back to the suite and pack your things."
"I have finished my schedule, so we will check out and go home."
I nodded and followed him from behind as he took the lead.
"Jake."
He hummed in response.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
I smiled at him,
"For being my husband."
"You can meet Yurim anytime you want, Jake."
"Because I understand that,"
"Once we fell in love with someone,"
"We would be happier when we are with them."
"I believe that Yurim would make you happier."
"So, just act as if you have no idea about my feeling for you."
"Don't mind about my feeling."
"Put yours at the first place and put her in the second place."
"Put me in the bottom, Jake."
"I would be good with it."
"Jake, I promised."
"I would never get hurt by your action towards Yurim."
"If I get hurt, I would heal myself quickly."
"You're the person I love, Jake."
"So, I want you to be happier with her."
"Once you're happy, I would be a thousand times happier than you."
"I would support you from your back."
"I would support you from far."
"Thank you for being the reason my life thousand times better, Jake."
****
After we have done putting all of our bags in the car, I got into the passenger seat and took a glance at Jake as he got into the driver's seat. I smiled at him, but he didn't smile at me back at all. I understood the reason he reacted this way.
He was still so surprised after finding out about my feeling for him. It was the reason we became so awkward today. We didn't talk to each other at all. Jake would come into my room to take his clothes and hand me the food that he bought for me for breakfast.
I glued my gaze to the scenery as he drove the car home. He turned up the volume of the radio to fill the silent background and fixed his eyes on the front while driving his car calmly.
I took a glance at him and quickly took out
my phone when the notification keep popping on the screen of my phone. I was so confused and curious when all of the text was from Heeseung.
"Han Jina, are you with Jake?"
"I don't think we can keep this secret from him longer."
"Her condition is getting worst."
"She keeps asking me about Jake and telling me that she wants to meet him."
"I tried to reach Jake, but I failed."
"Can you tell him about Yurim?"
I stared at the text silently and looked at Jake.
I wanted to tell him everything but at the same time, I didn't want him to leave me alone after finding out about Yurim's condition. I was selfish again. I felt so toxic right now.
I shook my head, tried to take those feeling away from my mind, and cleared my throat before talking to him.
"Jake, I have something to tell you."
"I want to stop by. I need to pick up the call from Mr.Hwang."
Jake cut me off, parked his car next to the road, and got off the car after answering the call.
I watched him leave and sighed.
****
After almost an hour of riding in the car, we finally arrived home after a week of staying in the suite. I got off the car and quickly helped Jake to bring all of our things into the house.
"Let me help you."
I said to him and was surprised when he suddenly backed away from me. I looked at him in confusion, then brought one of our bags into the house.
As I was about to take the last bag, our hands slightly touched each other. Jake gripped his fist, avoided my gaze on him, and sighed heavily.
He took the last bag, and just left me alone in the car. I watched him in confusion and quickly turned my body to the back when Hansuk came and greeted me nicely.
"Hello, Han Jina." Hansuk smiled and waved his hand to me.
I smiled at him back, "Hello, Hansuk."
"It's been a week since we haven't met. How are you, Han Jina? Are you hungry?"
"I could make them for you."
"You are hungry, right? It must be so tiring to be in the car for a long time, right?"
"Let's get into my house." I widened my eyes when he suddenly held my wrist and pulled me closer to him. I shook my head and tried to shrug his hand off mine but he was too strong.
"I'm sorry, Hansuk, but can you let go of me?"
Hansuk whined,
"What's wrong, Han Jina? I'm so excited to show you the food that I made for you."
I shook my head again and softly spoke.
"Can you let go of me first?"
"Come on, Han Jina."
He gripped my hand tighter causing me to groan in hurt. As I was about to take a step away, he pulled me closer to him.
"Hansuk, it hurts."
Hansuk sighed heavily,
"I thought the rumor about you are pregnant was false but why are you so sensitive when I pulled you?"
Before I could reply, Jake suddenly came and stopped Hansuk by pushing the guy away causing him to fall to the ground. Hansuk rolled his eyes and faked a smile when his gaze met Jake.
Jake pulled me behind him and talked to Hansuk as the guy approached us again.
"I have warned you, Yoo Hansuk. Do you want me to drag you to the police station for harassing my wife?"
Jake raised his tone and got so mad at Hansuk.
Hansuk cleaned the dirt off his clothes,
"I was just holding her."
"You're not allowed to do anything to my wife." He spoke coldly.
"Is she pregnant? Is that why you're so mad at me for pulling her that way? Is it true that she is pregnant?"
Jake scoffed,
"Who are you to confirm that? It doesn't matter if she is pregnant or not. She is not your wife."
"She is my wife," Jake said with his gaze fixed on Hansuk angrily.
"You're the worst person ever, Jake."
"I know what you have done behind her."
"I have no idea why did she still fall in love with you when she knows about your feeling for the dying woman!"
Jake raised his eyebrows in confusion and took a glance at me. It surprised me when Hansuk mentioned Yurim in front of Jake.
"You will never stop loving Choi Yurim."
"Han Jina knows that but she still loves you like an idiot."
Hansuk looked at me,
"Han Jina, you always know that you deserve better, but why are you hurting yourself this way?"
"Just let him go to his dying first love!"
"Don't hurt yourself, Han Jina!"
"Let him go! It's not that he loves you!"
"Just let him go to Choi Yurim!"
Jake clenched his fist, grabbed Hansuk's collar angrily, and pushed the guy to the ground before getting on his upper body.
"Who are you to talk dirty about Yurim?"
"You know nothing about her!"
"Don't mention her name from your dirty mouth!"
Jake punched Hansuk in the face hard. I stood in the same position and had no idea what to do.
"Who are you say that she is sick? Who are you to say that she is dying?!"
Jake grabbed his collar again.
"So, you know nothing about Yurim."
"What do you mean--"
Hansuk pointed his finger at me,
"You should ask Jina. She knows about Yurim more than yourself."
"She knows that Yurim is sick."
I looked at Jake nervously as he approached me.
He grabbed my shoulder to stop me from avoiding him. He looked into my eyes,
"Is it true that Yurim is sick?" He asked, tears escaping from his eyes as he thought about Yurim again.
He shook my body,
"Is it true that Yurim is sick, Han Jina?!"
Tears rolled on my cheeks as he raised his voice to me. He shook his head and cried harder.
"Han Jina!"
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?!"
"What's the point of keeping the secret from me?"
"Why did you do this to me?!"
"You know about my feeling for Choi Yurim!"
"You know how much I love her,"
"But why did you do this to me?!"
"Is it because you don't want me to go to her?"
"Is it because you love me?!"
He let go of my shoulder and shrugged my hand away when I held his hand.
"Jake," I spoke up but he quickly cut me off.
"I hate you, Han Jina."
"I hate you for keeping this from me for your sake."
"I hate you."
"Don't appear in front of me anymore."
Without wasting any time, Jake got into the car and drove the car to the hospital without taking a glance at me for the last time. I watched him leave while sobbing in tears and quickly called the taxi as I still wanted to be with him and fixed everything.
I didn't want us to stay this way. I didn't want to create conflict between us again.
So, I got into the car as the taxi arrived, and after a few minutes of the ride, got off the car as the driver stopped me by the main entrance.
As soon as I spotted Jake, I ran towards him and followed him from behind while gasping for breathing. I waited for the elevator to arrive impatiently and quickly got into the elevator as it finally arrived.
I walked through the hallway to look for Jake and fastened my step when I saw Heeseung at the door.
"Mr.Lee," I called him and approached him.
Heeseung sighed heavily,
"How did he find out about this? I don't think you told him the truth."
I replied nervously,
"Yoo Hansuk told him. Jake misunderstood me. He thought I hid about this from him for my sake. He told me that he hate me."
"I came to tell him the truth. I wanted to fix everything between us."
"Is Jake in the room?"
Heeseung nodded, and slowly opened the door of the room. We went into the room together and stopped at the door abruptly.
I fixed my gaze on Jake and Yurim and immediately looked away when I caught them kissing each other.
Jake sat on the bed with his hand on her shoulder. He shut his eyes tightly and kissed Yurim passionately. Yurim just kissed him back, didn't realize that Heeseung and I were in the room with them.
As soon as Jake and Yurim saw me, I quickly left the room and left Heeseung with them.
I stayed outside the room for a long time and walked away when Heeseung left the room.
I walked through the hallway alone and covered my face with my palm as I started to cry again.
"Why did God always remind me to stop loving you, Jake?"
"Why did God keep hurting me with the truth?"
"Why did God keep telling me that my feeling for you would never get a return?"
"I know it will never happen,"
"But why it doesn't stop reminding me of the truth?"
****
the next chapter will be published this Wednesday. thank you for reading.