||filter pt1
conscience
a person's moral sense of right and wrong, viewed as acting as a guide to one's behaviour.
"he had a guilty conscience about his desires"
Hoseok's POV
I'm currently at the hospital, someone really speacial to me is staying here. As I continue to walk down the halls of the hospital with the constant scent of bleach and chemicals enter my nostrils.
I turn the corner and saw the door labeled 'Jung Sara', I opened the door and immediately the woman with beautiful brown hair and eyes look up to me and gave me the brightest smile.
"Hi sunshine" my mother said to me.
"Hi Mom" I said entering the room and closing the door behind me.
"Where's Yoongi?" She asked me.
"He's with his boyfriend right on a date" I answered with the small hint of sadness which my mother didn't miss.
"Why don't you tell him the truth about your feelings?" Mom asked rubbing my cheek softly.
Yes, my mom knows I'm gay, like she knew before I knew myself.
Flask back
"M-mom" I stuttered timidly as I rub my fingers because of nervousness.
"Yeah what's wrong your sweating?" She said wiping the sweat away from my brow.
"I-i'm g-gay" I finally said with my head hanged down low too afraid to see her facial expressions.
"Yeah tell me something I don't know" she chuckled.
"Huh?" I said immediately looking up to her amused face.
"I knew were gay the minute I saw you make Valentines gift for yoongi in the third grade when Hina (they're next door neighbor) was crushing on you so obviously and you still didn't give her the time of day" Mom stated.
"And your okay with that?" I asked.
"Why wouldn't I be? I'll love and care for you no matter who you love okay?" She brought me into a hug and I immediately burst into tears.
I was so scared she would disown me but instead she became someone I share everything with and my support pillar. I love her more than anything and I would do anything for her.
Flash back ends
"You know I can't tell him, it would make things awkward" I said laying my head on her lap.
"Like things aren't already awkward as it is, you guys barely hang out anymore, you stating your feelings might actually make yoongi look in your direction for once" she stated running her fingers through my raven locks.
"Oh and Jimin, yoongi's boyfriend, he's not that bad, he's kinda cute actually" I stated.
"Ummm are you complimenting your enemy" my mom said while stopping her hand.
"We are not enemies, he's actually my friend" I said.
"Your the first person I've seen who befriends the person who takes your crush from you" Mom stated.
"Ugh anyway how's your treatment going?" I said changing the topic.
"I-it's going great, the doctor said if I continue to take my medication I'll be out soon" she said.
My mom was spontaneously affected by some unknown illness 6 years ago and till this day we still don't know what it is. It causes her to have short of breath, internal bleeding and intense body pains. I really want her to get better because she's the only family I have that is related by blood.
I've never met my father, I've never cared to know about him either since he left my mother when she was pregnant with me.
"That's good to hear, when you get out let's go to the amusement park and I'll bring Yoongi there if I have to drag him"
She giggled causing me to smile myself.
Then my phone rang, I took it out of my pocket and saw that one of my bosses are calling me.
"Sorry mom I have to take this" I said getting up.
"No don't worry, go on" she shooed me.
I went through the door and a nurse went in.
Author's POV
"Have you told him yet?" The nurse asked.
"Not yet he seemed so happy, I didn't want to ruin his mood" Sara said.
"Mrs Jung please don't wait untill the last minute to tell him the truth" the nurse stated.
"I won't" Sara said looking down sadly.
"Mom I'm back"
The nurse and Sara both turned to Hoseok.
"Did I interupt something?" He asked.
"Oh nothing she just came to check up on me" Sara said nervously hoping Hoseok didn't overhear them.
"Okay, but I have to go, my boss said someone called in sick so I have to fill in, I'll come check on you tomorrow" Hoseok went beside her and placed a kiss on her cheek.
"See ya" he waved before leaving.
"Bye bye" Sara waved back.
As soon as Hoseok was gone small droplets of tears left her eyes.
"I really can't tell him, how can I tell my only baby that I don't have much time left but still it's killing my conscience" Sara held her chest and she began to cough.
She covered her mouth and as she slowly removed it all she saw was her own blood.
"Hoseokie baby I love you"
"I l-ove you so much" Sara said hiding her face in a pillow.
||End of chapter 9