⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️
this chapter contains the following: mature language, underage drinking,
NEW CHARACTER
Timothee Chalamet as Arlo Rosier
Y/N'S POV
Professor Snape looks around the room then at me.
"And who might that be Miss Esmeray?" he asks.
I don't want to snitch on Draco, but he deserves to be caught, no wonder I'm still in love with him.
"Um...Malfoy.." I say quietly so no one else hears me, even though the room is full of loud chattering.
"See me in Dumbledore's office after but as for right now take a seat," He says.
I return to the Slytherin table and sit back down next to Pansy.
"What was that about?" she whispers to me.
"Oh, just class work," I lie.
She nods and joins the conversation between Blaise and Enzo.
I stare at my food and I don't feel hungry so I just wait for time to pass, trying not to look at Draco and Astoria making out. It makes me want to die sometimes.
When everyone finishes eating I head to the Headmaster's Tower immediately. I can't bear another minute not knowing if it was true.
When I get to dumbledore's office, the door opens automatically almost like they are waiting for me. I walk through the door and see Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape standing there.
"Y/n! welcome, here have a seat." Dumbledore says, uncomfortably sitting down in the chair.
"Um, am I in trouble?" I ask.
"Not at all, of course not, unless you have done something to think you're in trouble!"
"Um no I haven't done anything."
"Albus stop playing games with the poor girl, she's been through enough already," Mcgonagall says with a pity look on her face.
"Now Y/n let's not waste anymore time, Professor Snape told us about the Amortentia, now what makes you think Draco Malfoy would be brewing that kind of potion?"
"Well, um-"
I start feeling anxiety rushing through my body, what am I supposed to say here? I feel my throat closing.
"Miss Esmeray, we take these types of accusations very seriously, so if you're lying-" Professor Snape says to me.
"I'm not lying," I firmly say back to him.
I could hear Dumbledore take a deep breath. "Very well then...Legilimency"
I could feel him enter all my thoughts. All the things I said, all the things Draco said, he knew. He fucking knew.
"Oh Merlin!" Dumbledore cries.
He sits down on his chair.
"Y/n you can wait outside" he says.
"But I-"
"Now." He demands.
I leave the room and wait outside like he told me to. What the fuck is going on? What did Dumbledore see inside of my mind? Endless thoughts flood my head until my name is called from inside of Dumbledore's office.
"Is everything okay, Professor?" I ask politely, If it was in my head then I deserve to know.
"Everything will be okay dear just drink this," Mcgonagall reassuringly says to me.
Professor Snape handed me a bottle with some type of clear liquid inside.
"What is it?" I ask Professor Snape, while swirling the potion around.
"It's the love potion antidote, go on, drink it."
He waves his hands around as if that was going to speed up the process of my paranoid thoughts.
I drink the potion hesitantly, while all the Professors watch me in anticipation. What the fuck is going on? I ask myself once again.
No matter how many times I ask myself these questions, I wouldn't know.
Suddenly I feel a rush come over my body. My body begins to shake uncontrollably, I feel my mind going crazy with only one thought. Draco Malfoy. All the sadness, all the pain, it turns into anger, hatred. I hate him. I hate him for what he did to me, and I hate that I let him get away with it.
I quickly walked out of Dumbledore's office, I could feel Professor Mcgonagall trying to stop me.
"Give her time, Minerva." Dumbledore says.
I speed-walk over to the Slytherin common room. I hate Draco. Everything he did to me, all the pain he caused was replaying inside of my mind. I slam open the doors of the common room, all heads turning to me. My eyes quickly search for Draco and I see him, already watching my every move. I feel furious. This is a feeling that I never experienced before, I feel as if I could kill him.
I walk up to him with my wand in my hand and yell "sectumsempra".
He falls down to the floor and screams in pain.
"Y/n!" Pansy screams. I don't even look at her, I cannot hear anything around me. The only thing I can hear are Draco's cries for help. I feel...powerful, accomplished.
"Please.. Stop- Help me," He cries out to me.
"Oh, well would you look at that, who's begging now?!" I shout at him. "You're pathetic" I say coldly to him, reminding him of all the times he's called me the exact same thing. I hope he hurts and I hope he'll never be able to get this moment out of his mind.
"This is what you didn't want me to do! You never wanted me to defend myself, right?! And then you give me Amortentia? You knew that you were treating me terribly, and you needed a fucking love potion to keep me. You pathetic twat." I continue yelling at him.
His screams get louder every second but I stay towering above him. He looks extremely pale, almost dead if you ask me.
"Come on, Esmeray!" I hear Mattheo Riddle call out to me, I turn my head and see him walking towards me from the boys dormitories.
"Let's go. Now." He says, walking past me. He sounds intimidating so I follow him.
I guess I'm not walking fast enough because Riddle grabs my arm, and pulls me along faster.
I look back and see some random Slytherin healing Malfoy. Riddle and I finally make it out into the empty corridors.
"Are you fucking mental?! Are you trying to get expelled or something, you cannot just walk around throwing curses at people!" Riddle scolds me, I honestly don't care about anything he's saying. We both know that ugly ferret boy deserved it.
"Whatever Riddle, don't act like you didn't enjoy it. And don't act like he didn't deserve it either, He used to beat me for Merlin's sake so do not tell me to calm down or to not throw curses at him!" I shout at Riddle, everyone thinks they can control me and I'm sick of that shit.
"You sound controlling, Riddle. I would be wrong to hex you too, right? You tormented me too, don't forget that."
And with that I leave to the abandoned bathroom. I just need some time alone, to think. Being an Esmeray has its perks so I doubt I'll get expelled if I'm being honest.
"Boys, am I right?" says Moaning Myrtle followed by a slight chuckle.
"I was in love with a boy once, his name was-" I'm cut off by her finishing my sentence,
"Draco Lucius Malfoy, I know. Crazy little family they have there, I would have left him a long time ago if I were you."
"It's not all that easy when you're being given a love potion by him. It's also not easy to leave him when you're scared for your life because he threatens to kill you if you break up with him." I speak to Myrtle.
"Again, a crazy little family they have. I remember his father, oh how he drove me crazy," Myrtle moans.
"Wait, you know Lucius Malfoy?" I ask, curiously.
"Well of course, I've been here for a very long time." She answers.
Myrtle and I talk for hours. She is a bit annoying but she is also nice to talk to. She gives great advice too, believe it or not. She also tells me that I need to get my life together, and that I look like my entire family was just murdered. She's basically calling me ugly, it makes me laugh. I haven't been laughing much these past few months, probably ever since I got with Malfoy. That boy drained me of happiness, friends, everything. I only met Blaise and Pansy through him and Enzo refused to stay away from me, so that's the only reason Malfoy let him stay. That whole bloodline is mental, both sides. The Malfoys and the Blacks, Narcissa is probably the only sweet one, her sister Bellatrix is a real-life horror movie put into human form.
I walk out of the bathroom and head to the common room. As I walk in, I see everyone huddling over Malfoy as if he just went through something traumatic and life-changing. The Sectumsempra was probably nothing compared to what I felt every single day that he beat me.
"Where was this caring energy when I was in the infirmary half dead because of Draco?"
I say to all the students surrounding Draco. I just roll my eyes and walk to my room before they can say anything.
When I get to my room, I change into some comfier clothes and study for a while.
After catching up on homework, I go to the common room and it's not too crowded. I see my friends sitting on the couch as usual, so I walk over to hang out with them for a bit.
"Hey guys," I sit down on the couch with a smile on my face while they stare at me like they've never seen me before.
"Why are you all looking at me like that?" I ask them, feeling slightly annoyed.
"Maybe because you nearly killed Draco!" Pansy says to me.
"Okay.. and what do you want me to do about that? He deserved it so honestly I couldn't care less." I say to Pansy while shrugging my shoulders. We all stare at each other in silence before the four of us start laughing uncontrollably.
"Did you see how he was crying like a little baby?" Blaise asks while snorting, I can barely breathe as I carry on laughing.
"He started begging like a witch in Diagon Alley!" laughs Pansy. After a few more minutes of our laughing fit, we all stand up and head to the Great Hall for dinner.
The four of us sit down in our usual spots when Malfoy comes limping into the Hall with desperate girls under him, holding him up, causing me to roll my eyes at his exaggeration. He comes over and sits next to me. What in the actual fuck is he about to try with me?
"Hello everyone," Draco says to us, Well he says to Pansy, Blaise and Enzo. I feel so disgusted with his presence.
Nobody gives him any attention, everyone continues eating except for me. I still have not been eating much since I broke up with Draco. It wasn't anything new.
"You're gonna pay for what you did in the common room, Y/n," Draco whispers into my ear.
"Why should I?," I say loud enough for my friends, and only my friends, to hear."
Get up and walk to my dorm. Now." He spits harshly at me. He knows how to piss me off, I'm sick of his shit.
"You don't own me anymore, Malfoy!" I protest loudly before shoving him further away from me.
Everyone in the hall looks over to us in shock.
Whispers start to fill the air from every table including ours.
"Y/n maybe you should look at who's coming down the table..." Enzo says to me. I watch as Greengrass struts down to me like she's a model, she's holding her drink in her hands when she finally reaches me.
"What the fuck do you want Astoria?" I ask her, Yes, I am slightly afraid of her, no I will not show it. She doesn't answer me, It's pissing me off so I roll my eyes at her. She did the most random thing next.
"He's mine, Esmeray." She says to me. I watch as she spits into her cup, Then she throws the mixture into my face. Oh hell no. I don't know what clicked in my brain, but I stood up and shoved her as hard as I could. I grab Astoria by her hair while she is on the floor and I pull her up.
"You stupid bitch!" I yell at her before I punch her face multiple times. I must have blacked out because the last thing I remember was Enzo and Professor Snape pulling me into the corridors.
"Dumbledore's office now!" he says. I swear his tone makes me jump.
When we got to Dumbledore's office he whispered the password.
"Sherbet Lemon."
I pretend to not hear it. When we walk in I see Dumbledore sitting down with my mother. I have to look twice.
"Y/n please take a seat," Dumbledore says calmly.
I look at my mother and she is giving me the biggest death stare ever. I want the earth to swallow me whole in this moment.
I sit down next to my mother.
"Your mother and I have been discussing and we think it's best for you to leave school early"
"Wait so you're suspending me?!" I question angrily.
"No dear, it's not a suspension, I made sure of that, we just think it's best for you to take a break until you start school again in January with all the other students." My mother says in her usual persuasive voice.
"But we don't break up for Christmas for another week."
They all look at me in seriousness.
"Sorry." I say before sitting back into my seat.
"Why don't you wait outside Y/n" Professor Dumbledore says to me, pointing to the door.
I get out of my seat and wait outside for them to finish up. My mum is gonna beat my bloody arse. A few minutes pass and the door opens.
"Thank you so much Albus," my mum says while closing the door. "Y/n come." She pulls my arm as she walks. I try to keep up with her but she walks so bloody fast.
"Pack your stuff I'll wait for you down here," She explains to me as we stand in the common room.
I went to my dorm and started packing my clothes. I don't have much so I just pack up my things quickly. Thankfully everyone is in the great hall so I see no one. I want to say goodbye to my friends but my mum is waiting for me. She pulls out a bag with Floo Powder and pours some into her hand before handing the pouch to me. She walked to the unlit fireplace and stood over the wood. "Esmeray Manor" she speaks clearly before green flames came up and she disappeared. I do the same thing and show up in my living room fireplace.
When we get home, my dad is waiting for us in the kitchen.
"Y/n darling," he cheers while giving me a hug. A hug. The only time my father gave me hugs was on my birthday. What the hell is happening? Confused, I try to hug him back. "Oh I've missed you!" he says.
"You did?" I am surprised.
"Well of course I did, here, I wanted to give you an early christmas gift"
He hands me a small box wrapped in red christmas paper.
I open it hesitantly and see a bright charm bracelet with the letter E on it for Esmeray.
"It was your grandmother's, she would want for you to have it" My mother says.
"I don't understand, aren't you supposed to be mad at me?" I ask.
"Why would we be mad at you Y/n," my mum says.
"Well I don't know probably because I cursed Draco and got into a fight?" I say sarcastically.
"That bloody boy deserved it," My father encourages me, "You know I never liked him, he was always rather weird."
"You lived up to the Esmeray name Y/n, sometimes you have to show people that you are not to be messed with" my mum adds.
As confused as I am, I put the bracelet on my right wrist and head over to my room.
"Remember dinner is at 7!" my father shouts from the kitchen.
I walk upstairs to my room and change.
I start thinking about what my mum said "sometimes you have to show people that you are not to be messed with" I am tired of letting everyone walk all over me, of people talking shit about how overweight I am, or that I was way too ugly to be with Draco. I start getting mad when I remember all of the stuff that Draco did to me, I don't want to give him that power over me anymore.
I need to start doing something about it. I am so fed up with all the bullshit I decide that from this moment on, I won't let anyone treat me like shit.
I check the time and it is already seven, so I head downstairs and sit down at the table. Father is reading a book, he looks concentrated so I figure it's better not to distract him. I look at the food on the table and I am not hungry at all, but I also can't remember the last time I ate a full meal, so I decided that if I was really gonna change, I might as well start here. I start eating small bites of it, eventually eating the whole thing. I am kind of proud of myself if I'm being honest.
I quickly go back to my room and decide to use exercise as a form of coping. It helps me get out all my anger, all the pain that I felt this past few years.
1 WEEK LATER
I wake up and shower. I am getting better again. I barely even think about Draco anymore and all the drama from Hogwarts doesn't seem so important anymore. I realize that for me to get more confident, I just need to act like I am.
I have had a slight glow up since leaving Hogwarts. I had started eating healthier and exercising more, resulting in me losing some weight. My makeup skills improved and had a new hairstyle.
I go downstairs to the kitchen and eat a full breakfast my mum made for me. Surprisingly my parents aren't a pain in the arse anymore, they are acting quite nice actually.
I finish eating and go to look for my dad, I need to ask him for some money to buy more clothes. I walk towards the living room and see him reading the daily prophet.
"Hello Dad!" I cheerfully say, sitting next to him, without saying hello back he hands me the newspaper.
It reads, 'Y/n Esmeray possibly expelled from Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry'.
"But...mum said she handled it"
"The public doesn't know that Y/n," he said smiling.
"Why is this amusing to you? Doesn't it ruin the family name or something..."
Ever since I was 5 years old, my father always said to keep a low profile, that we needed to be careful and quiet, not bring any attention to our name in a bad way. Being one wealthiest family in the wizarding world came with responsibilities,and my parents never believed I would be able to uphold said responsibilities.
"It's a good publicity stunt Y/n, the more people talk about us, the more famous we will be"
I nod in response, I don't know what he was talking about but as long as I don't get in trouble it's fine by me. I look over to the pile of letters on the shelf. My friends have been sending a lot of them but I didn't even bother to answer them, don't get me wrong I miss them, but I'm really not that desperate.
"Hey dad, can I borrow some money?"
"Sure" He hands me a pouch of galleons, he doesn't even ask why. There were about 1,000 galleons inside.
"Thank you," I say gratefully, and I leave.
I grab the letters from the shelf and go upstairs to my room. I start reading them.
Dear y/n,
I miss you so much!
I was just writing to know if you're okay. I was also wondering why you didn't say goodbye when you left, is something wrong? Also, are the rumours true? Were you expelled from Hogwarts? Please write back to me, I'm worried .
-Pansy
I continued reading the others.
Y/n,
I've written you about 8 letters already, I need to know you're okay, I'm worried about you. Are your parents being arseholes again? I know we left things weirdly, but I still care about you.
Much love, Lorenzo.
I skip through the other ones and I read the last one.
Dumbass,
you bitch write me back, the fuck? You act like ur grown now or some. Love u tho
-Blaise
I write back to all of them, saying that I am okay and better, because this time, I really mean it.
After finishing, I go to my bathroom and take a long shower and head downstairs. I see my parents in the living room and I sit down on the couch.
"Y/n, do you know who the Rosier family is?" My father asks me.
"Uhm I've heard of them."
"Well there son is joining hogwarts in January"
"And you're telling me this why..?" I ask.
"Because I'm doing new business with his father and it would be easier if you befriended him"
I look at my mom with a worried look on my face.
"But only if you want to, we are not forcing anything right?" She says, looking at my father.
"Yes of course" he states.
I nod in response.
2 DAYS LATER
The annual Christmas ball will be hosted at my house so that's what's going for me. My parents are making sure every single detail is perfect.
The twinkling lights were strung up perfectly, 74 on each wall. No more, No less. The black 12ft tall christmas tree stood proud in the foyer with its perfect ornaments hanging off in perfect order.
The servers were hurrying around so as not to be in my mother's war path for too long. They would hear her heels clinking and immediately walk the other direction. She was shouting at everyone she saw, it made me admire her in a way. How strong she was. How independent she was.
It makes me want to be like her when I was older. I hate my mother, but I want to be as confident and intimidating as her.
She notices me standing there admiring her, she looks down at her watch to check the time.
As she realizes the time, she walks over to me, smilies and kisses me on the forehead.
"Are you ready to go?" She asks me in a calm, sweet voice. I have no idea what she is talking about, I don't want to ask her because she might feel bad.
I ask her anyway, "I must be confused, where exactly are we going?" She looks at me with a 'sweet merlin, she's so stupid' expression, or at least thats how I would put it.
"We are going dress shopping of course! We need dresses, shoes and accessories, darling," She says excitedly. She starts fidgeting with her fingers as if she's a child going to buy toys. Were my parents actually happy to see me?
"Alright, I will go grab my coat now," I say to her, feeling slightly uncomfortable.
My mum and I have not gone shopping together since I was 11 years old, I cannot even remember.
We both go to the North Side of Diagon Alley to grab some galleons from Gringotts. We head down to Oxford Street, to buy dresses for our Christmas party. We walk into the dress shop, my mother seems to know where she is going because she walks straight to the back of the store. When we get to the last room, there are what seems like hundreds of dresses and fancy gowns.
"Wow, these dresses are lovely aren't they?" mum says, beaming. "How about I surprise you with one, as an early christmas present? And you can see it when we get home." A wide smile appears on my face, a real, genuine smile. My mother does have good fashion taste.
"Okay, sounds great!" I reply.
We carry on shopping all day. Me and my mother are actually bonding, my father has become nicer as well. What changed them?
"Mum," I begin, as we're still looking around different shops, "How come you and dad are being...nicer to me now?" I try to say it as politely as I can.
"What are you talking about Y/n?" she asks, curiously.
"Well...you used to be...meaner." I say hesitantly. She gives me a look that tells me she knows what I mean. She sighs in a way that she is about to confess something massive.
"Y/n, Professor Dumbledore told us he used Legilimency on you," She says, causing me to remember that eventful day. "He told us he saw Draco Malfoy...hitting you," she struggled to get those two words out. Oh no, he saw everything. He saw all the times he hit me and insulted me. "Then he said he also saw something from three years ago..." My heart starts beating at a rapid pace. The party. Michael Dankworth. I swallow the lump in my throat, still listening to my mother. "He saw when one of your father's colleagues had assaulted you." her voice breaks slightly. "We're terribly sorry for not believing you, Y/n, I feel so stupid for not believing my own daughter," she says, trying not to cry and hugs me tightly. I hug her back, still taking in what she had just confessed to me, not sure of whether to forgive my parents or not.
Suddenly, she pulls away and says we should head home now, and we apparate back to Esmeray Manor.
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