The world was cruel. That much was obvious. This was further proven as the four of you waited in the empty classroom for the laziest, slowest sensei in all of history, Kakashi Hatake. Not to mention, he was also a pervert who didn't even bother hiding the fact that he read porn in public. It also wasn't helping with the fact that you were stuck with the most obnoxious team ever.
The universe really hated you, didn't it.
"He's late," Naruto groaned. He stood up and slid the door open and stuck his head out. He peered down the hallway in both directions.
"Naruto!" Sakura called in a scolding tone. "Stay still."
"Why's it that only our squad's sensei is late?" he exclaimed, pulling his head back into the classroom. "The other squads have gone off somewhere with their new senseis, and Iruka-sensei's also left."
"Patience is a virtue," you murmured. Naruto turned to you.
"Eh? What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that waiting can lead to something good," you explained quietly. Naruto's only response was to huff. You closed your eyes and sighed through your nose. Suddenly, you could hear something thumping. Peeling one eye open, you saw Naruto dragging a chair over to the door and sliding it open slightly.
"Hey, what are you doing, Naruto?!" Sakura's shrill voice rang. The boy only chuckled and inserted a blackboard eraser at the top of the open gap between the door and the wall. Sakura stomped over to the blond.
"Hey!" she scolded.
"It'll be his fault because he's late," Naruto said in his defense. He grinned and jumped down from the chair. Sakura just scowled and placed her hands on her hips.
"Man! You're asking for it!" However, it was easy to see that she was secretly excited for the outcome of the prank that Naruto had set up. You had to refrain yourself from faceplanting into the desk at the amount of pure stupidity that the two were radiating.
"A Jounin wouldn't get caught in such a weak booby trap," Sasuke put in. You would have agreed, but knowing Kakashi as well as the actual outcome, it was hard to do so. Sakura, being the fangirl she was, nodded along to Sasuke's words.
"That's right. You're such a baka...!" Suddenly, a hand was spotted through the crack of the door. Everyone fell silent, awaiting the unfortunate Jounin's fate. As soon as the door opened, the eraser fell and landed with a pitiful plop on top of the silver hair of Kakashi while a cloud of dust poofed up. The classroom was enveloped in deathly silence. However, this was soon broken by Naruto cackling and pointing at the man.
"I got him, I got him..." he chanted as he continued to laugh. Kakashi was frozen in his spot by the door.
"G-Gomen'nasai, sensei," Sakura stammered, attempting to suck up to the former ANBU member. "I tried to stop him, but Naruto did it on his own..." Even so, it was painfully obvious that the girl had enjoyed the scene. Sasuke, however, was disappointed at the sensei. Kakashi finally unfroze and bent down to pick up the fallen eraser. You all stared at him, waiting for his next words.
"Hm, how can I put this?" he murmured as he stared at the ceiling in contemplation. "As for my first impression of you guys...? Well, I hate you." The effect was immediate. The entire team slumped down as depression lines appeared over them. You were unaffected and remained indifferent, as you already expected this. "Meet me on the roof."
-------
The rooftop was surprisingly large and looked more modern than the other parts of the village. Large arches loomed up from the roof and over a row of trees located behind three steps. Sasuke sat on the top step while Naruto and Sakura sat on each side of him on the second step. You sat beside Naruto as you rested your elbows on the top stair and leaned back.
"First off," Kakashi started, "Let me have you guys introduce yourselves."
"Introduce ourselves..." Sakura echoed. "What should we say?"
"Your likes, dislikes, your future dream, hobbies, things like that!" he listed.
"Hey! Before that, you should tell us about yourself." Naruto exclaimed.
"Me?" Kakashi pointed at himself. "Well, my name is Kakashi Hatake. I don't feel like telling you guys about my likes and dislikes."
At this, Naruto and Sakura uttered noises of confusion. He continued.
"I've never really thought about my future dream... As for my hobbies, I have many."
"In the end, isn't all we know his name?" Sakura grumbled as she turned to the group.
"Yeah." Naruto nodded.
"Next is you guys," Kakashi stated. "Let's start with you."
He nodded at Naruto. The boy grinned and adjusted his headband.
"My name is Naruto Uzumaki! I like instant ramen, but what I like even more is the ramen from Ichiraku that Iruka-sensei and (A/n)-chan treats me to. I also like hanging out with (A/n)-chan! What I dislike is the three minutes after pouring hot water in the instant ramen. My hobby is eating and comparing ramen and hanging out with (A/n)-chan! And my future dream... is to surpass the Hokage! And so I'm going to get the entire village to acknowledge my existence!" At his words, you saw Kakashi briefly widen his eyes before they were back to normal.
"Okay, next." Kakashi looked over at Sakura.
"I'm Sakura Haruno. What I like... I mean, who I like is..." Sakura looked over at Sasuke with a blush and back. "And my hobby is, I mean..." She gazed back at the boy beside her with a darker blush. "And my future dream is..." She looked at him again and squealed loudly.
"And? What about your dislikes?"
Sakura immediately picked her head up from her position, her blush long gone. "Naruto!" Said boy screamed in sadness that his crush rejected him and began to ugly cry. You patted his back a few times.
"And you?" Kakashi averted his gaze to Sasuke. Sakura stared at him with adoring eyes, most likely hoping to get to know him better.
"My name's... Sasuke Uchiha. I have lots of dislikes, but no likes in particular." Sakura visibly deflated, but he paid no mind. "And... I don't feel like summing up my ambition as just a dream, but I do have an ambition. The ambition to restore my clan and without fail... to kill a certain man."
You stiffened and gazed down at the ground. That would not happen. Not if you could help it. Kakashi remained unimpressed while the rest of the team stared at Sasuke. Naruto was frightened, and Sakura had a blush.
"And finally, you." Kakashi gestured to you.
"My name is (A/n)," you muttered monotonously.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"... And your likes and dislikes?" Kakashi asked. The only response was silence as you stared at him. Everyone shuffled awkwardly. "What about your hobbies?" he tried again.
"..."
"Your dreams?"
"..."
Kakashi's eyes twitched at the stubbornness that you displayed. He awkwardly chuckled, attempting to break the tense atmosphere.
"Good!" he exclaimed. "The three of you are very distinctive and interesting! We'll have a mission tomorrow!"
"Hai, sir!" Naruto cheered and saluted. "What kind of mission?"
"First, we'll do what we can do with just five people."
"Nani-nani-nani?!" Naruto egged on.
"A survival exercise," Kakashi revealed.
"Survival exercise?" Naruto repeated.
"Why are we doing an exercise even though this is supposed to be a mission?" Sakura asked as she furrowed her brows. "We've had more than our share of exercises in the Academy!"
"This is no simple exercise," Kakashi stated.
"Then... then what kind of exercise is it?" Naruto questioned. Kakashi only chuckled creepily without bothering to answer. His entire body shook with his laughs as everyone just stared at him.
"Hey! What's so funny, sensei?" Sakura murmured.
"Uh, well, if I told you, I know you'll grow disenchanted," he answered, his laughter calming down to an occasional chuckle here and there.
"Huh?"
Kakashi immediately stopped laughing, and shadows covered his face. "Out of twenty-eight graduates, only ten will be recognized as a genin. The remaining eighteen will be sent back to the Academy. In other words, this exercise is an extremely difficult test with a failure rate of 66% or higher!" Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura all froze with shock, some more apparent than others. Kakashi laughed at their reactions. "See? see? You got disenchanted!"
"That's crazy!" Naruto yelled. "To have suffered that much! T-Then, what was the graduation exam for?"
"Oh, that." Overhead, a hawk screeched as Kakashi answered. "It was just to select those who have the potential of becoming Genin."
"Naaaaani?!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Ma~, that's the way it is." Kakashi shrugged, not really seeming to care for Naruto's comment. "I'll be determining whether you pass or fail. Bring your complete set of Shinobi tools! We'll meet at five in the morning."
Peeking at Naruto, you saw him shaking in his spot. He was obviously worried about the test. Sakura also seemed to be frightened at the prospect of failing. However, their reasons were completely different. Naruto was scared that he wouldn't be able to prove himself while Sakura was scared that she would be separated from Sasuke. Sasuke only glared at your sensei who had his back turned to you.
"Okay! You're dismissed," he said lazily. Suddenly, he turned. "Oh... and you'd best skip breakfast. You'll throw up," he added.
-------
The next morning, you decided to wake up on time in order to avoid suspicion. You didn't want to attract any more attention than you have already. However, you did decide to eat a small breakfast. Quickly making an onigiri, you ate that as you sped out of your home and onto the quiet streets. The sun hasn't risen yet, so most everyone was still asleep. There were a few people who were up and roaming the village, though not many. The number of people dwindled down as you got closer to the training ground. As you made your way over to the designated place, you spotted the silhouettes of your teammates.
"Ohayo." Sakura greeted as she rubbed her eyes to get rid of her sleepiness. Naruto moaned out a greeting, sounding suspiciously like a zombie. The only ones who didn't seem affected by drowsiness were you and Sasuke. Eventually, the four of you met at the center and waited until Kakashi had arrived.
Soon, the sun rose, and there was still no sign of the Jounin. Naruto had fallen asleep crouching, and a string of saliva fell from the corner of his mouth. It was around mid-day when Kakashi had finally shown. Sakura was also on the grass, too tired to be standing up. You and Sasuke had remained upright.
"Hi, folks. Ohayo!" Kakashi called casually, raising a hand in greeting. The two who were on the ground shot up and pointed at him accusingly.
"You're late!" they exclaimed.
"Well, a black cat crossed my path, you see." Kakashi merely smiled and pointed down the road from which he had come from. The excuse did nothing to calm down the two, and they growled at him. He awkwardly coughed.
"Ma~ nanda..." he murmured. He walked over to a stump as you all followed his movements with your eyes. He placed an alarm on the stump he was beside.
"Yosh. It's set for 12:00!" Kakashi exclaimed, and he pushed down on the button on the top of the alarm to start it. Naruto and Sakura blinked in confusion. The sound of something jingling had caught their attention. Kakashi had pulled out three bells from his weapons pouch.
"Today's assignment is to take these bells away from me by noon," he explained. He shook the bells for good measure. "Those who can't do it won't get lunch." At this, Naruto let out a screech of terror. Kakashi continued. "They'll be tied to that..." He looked over at the stumps, prompting your team to look over as well. "...and I'll eat my lunch before your very eyes."
As if on cue, three stomachs grumbled, and their owners had a look of utter defeat. Kakashi stared at you, as you were the only one whose stomach wasn't growling. You didn't back down and stared him back in the eye. There was no way that you were going to do this exercise on an empty stomach. Suddenly, Sakura straightened.
"Demo, chotto matte," she called out. "Why are there only three bells?" Kakashi chuckled and gave a closed eye smile.
"There are only three, so at the very least, one will have to go to the logs. That person will be disqualified for failing the mission... and will return to the Academy." He shook the bells once more to emphasize his point. "It might be one person at the very least, or it could be all four of you. You can use your Shuriken. You won't be able to take the bells unless you come with the intent to kill me."
"Demo, that's dangerous, sensei!" Sakura exclaimed horrified.
"Y-Yeah, that's right!" Naruto laughed, clasping his hand behind his hand, completely unfazed. "You couldn't even evade a chalkboard eraser!"
"In this world," Kakashi started. "those who aren't skilled enough tend to complain more. Ma~, just ignore the loser..." This finally caught Naruto's attention, and the boy turned to the older man.
"Begin when I give the 'ready-go' signal," Kakashi said. However, Naruto growled and immediately pulled out a kunai. He ran toward the man. As soon as he did, Kakashi disappeared and reappeared behind Naruto. He grabbed the boy's wrist and pointed the kunai in his hand at the back of Naruto's head. You widened your eyes. You knew of Kakashi's speed, but seeing it on screen paled compared to the actual thing. You found yourself wondering who was faster and shook your head. It didn't matter now, seeing as you would probably end up facing him anyway in the future if everything went according to plan.
"Don't be so hasty." You heard Kakashi say. "I didn't say start, yet." Sasuke and Sakura took a couple of steps away from the Jounin, and he released Naruto. "Demo ma~, it's fine. At least you came with the intent to kill me." He chuckled before he continued. "How can I put this...? I feel like I'm finally starting... to like you guys. We're going to start. Ready..." You all bent your knees slightly, ready to take off at a moment's notice. "Start!" Immediately, everyone leaped off, including you.
-------
~Kakashi's P.O.V.~
Kakashi observed his surroundings. So far, none of his students were in sight. He nodded slightly in approval.
'Fundamentally, shinobi must mask their presence and hide.' he thought. He felt the chakra signature of Sasuke hidden in the branches of a tree while Sakura's was hidden in a bush, although he didn't seem to find Naruto's or yours. 'Yosh, everyone is hidden pretty well...' Suddenly, he felt Naruto's chakra signature, and it was right... behind him. Naruto stood there with his arms crossed across his chest.
"Alright! Let's face off fair and square!" Naruto challenged.
-------
~2nd P.O.V.~
"Alright! Let's face off fair and square!" Naruto challenged. You had to refrain yourself from facepalming at his stupidity and giving away your position. You were hidden in a tree, almost on the opposite side of where Sasuke was hidden. You made sure to completely conceal your chakra signature. When you were traveling, you had to learn to do this to avoid detection from stronger rouge ninja or just nuisances in general. It had taken a while, but you had finally done it.
"Ah?" Kakashi tilted his head in confusion at Naruto's request. "Ano sa~, aren't you a bit off-kilter?"
"What's off-kilter is your hairstyle!" Naruto retaliated. Subconsciously, you glanced at the said hairstyle. It was a bit... strange. Naruto took off toward Kakashi again, and you pursed your lips.
'He never learns, does he.' you thought as you watched the scene play out below you. A sudden movement on Kakashi's part caught your eyes, and you watched him reach into his weapons pouch. Naruto, believing that the Jounin was about to pull out a weapon, stopped in his tracks and jumped back slightly, glaring at the man.
"I'll teach you the first Shinobi Battle Jutsu... Taijutsu." Kakashi reached deeper into his pouch and finally pulled out the item he was looking for. His Icha Icha Paradise. This time, you buried your face in your hands, desperately trying to fight off the blush from both the perverted novel as well as pure embarrassment that this was your sensei. Naruto froze in confusion.
"What's the matter?" Kakashi asked, not taking his eyes off the book. "Why don't you come at me?"
"A-Ano sa~, what's with the book?" Naruto stuttered out.
"Nande you ask...? It's because I was curious about what happens next." Kakashi murmured, not really paying attention to the blond in front of him. "Don't worry. With you guys as opponents, it makes no difference if I'm reading or not." Naruto clenched his fists in frustration at the harsh words. Yet again, he began to charge.
"I'm going to rip you apart!" he screamed. He went to punch the silver-haired man, but Kakashi caught it with one hand, still not looking away from the orange book in his hands. Naruto dropped to the ground.
"Darn! This time a spin kick!" he yelled. However, Kakashi merely ducked down to avoid the flying foot that was head toward his direction. Naruto flew past him, landing back on the ground on his feet, and launched himself into the air once more. He threw his fist at the sensei, but Kakashi had already disappeared from his spot.
"Wha--?!" Naruto stayed in that position, dumbfounded at the empty space before him. The dust cleared and revealed Kakashi, who was crouching down behind him.
"Ninja shouldn't let the enemy take them from behind multiple times, baka," Kakashi stated. His hands were positioned in the Tora (tiger) sign.
"Naruto, get out of there quick!" Sakura exclaimed, ultimately giving away her position. "You'll die!"
"Too late," Kakashi replied. Immediately, you averted your eyes. You could already feel your face burning. "Konohagakure Hiden Taijutsu Ougi: Sennen Goroshi (Konohagakure Hiden Secret Taijutsu Technique: One Thousand Years of Death)!"
Kakashi's fingers found themselves embedded in the rear of Naruto. In pain, Naruto flew through the air and into a river. The culprit only watched before opening his book again. The training ground fell into silence again. Suddenly, two shurikens shot out of the water towards Kakashi, though they never reached him because he caught them with only two fingers, each shuriken spinning on their respective finger before sliding down. The person who threw them crawled out of the river coughing.
"What's the matter?" Kakashi taunted, standing before the panting boy. "You won't get lunch if you can't take the bell by noon."
"I know that, dattebayo." Naruto shot back.
"You're not very energetic, considering you said that you'd surpass the Hokage." Kakashi continued to mock the seemingly helpless boy. A loud growl was heard throughout the area.
"Darn it! Darn it! I can fight even if I'm hungry." Naruto whined. Through your enhanced hearing, you also heard Sasuke and Sakura's stomachs growling out of hunger. "I just got a bit careless earlier." Naruto kept trying to defend himself as Kakashi turned and walked away, his nose already buried in his book. He added something else under his breath, but he was too far away and too quiet for you to catch what it was. "I'm going to become a Ninja!" he yelled. The water behind him exploded as his shadow clones burst out of the water.
"Security is your greatest enemy!" Naruto called, joining his clones in the air. "Now for my Taiju Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu)!" All his clones landed and ran to Kakashi.
"Judging from your ability, that Jutu should have a one-minute limit," Kakashi revealed. The clones paid no mind and began to run toward the stationary man. "Even if you talk trash, Naruto is Naruto after all is said and done... You still can't beat me with that skill."
Kakashi was suddenly cut off by the unexpected weight on his back, and the bells attached to his hips jingled. Even though this tactic didn't work, you had to give Naruto credit for being able to think of such a plan.
'Naruto could be a genius at times,' you thought as you watched the scene below you. Then, you saw Naruto and his clones beating each other up, thinking that the other was Kakashi, and deadpanned. 'When he's not being such an idiot at most times. Which means, not often.'
Naruto finally released the jutsu, leaving only the boy standing in the empty field. A sudden shine caught both you and Naruto's attention. There, in the grass, was a single, lone bell. An obvious trap set up by Kakashi, but Naruto didn't know that. He chuckled to himself, believing that he was lucky, before reaching to pick it up. However, before he could touch it, a piece of rope was looped around his legs, and he was pulled upsidedown, bouncing up and down a few times. Noises of pain burst out of his mouth every time he bounced. When he stopped bouncing, he cried for the bell and attempted to reach it from his position in the air, though it was in vain as Kakashi picked it up.
"You have to think when using a Jutsu." Kakashi lectured. "They can use it against you." Naruto made a chocked noise.
"Also..." Kakashi continued. "...don't get caught in an obvious trap, baka."
That set Naruto off. He swung wildly and screamed gibberish as he threw himself around. Kakashi simply gazed up at the helpless boy.
"A Ninja must see through deception!" he scolded.
"I get it, dattebayo!" Naruto screamed.
"I'm telling you because you don't get it. Listen up!" Kakashi replied. As he continued to lecture Naruto, he seemed as if he had lowered his guard. However, you knew better. "Your movements are wasteful. You're so..." Kakashi was cut off by a barrage of shurikens and kunai. They hit the right side of Kakashi, and he fell without another sound.
"No way!" Naruto yelled, and he turned to the perpetrator. "You jerk Sasuke! You're overdoing it!"
Kakashi's limp body continued to fly sideways, blood trailing after, before he landed, seemingly dead.