I just wanna share some moments of mine and Lucius with y'all!( Side note- M/n stands for 'my name' as in 'my' name not yours)
Bellatrix- Why is Lucius crying on the bathroom floor?
Me- He's drunk.
Bellatrix- So?
Me- He heard I was engaged.
Bellatrix- He's engaged to you, though.
Me- Yeah, he forgot.
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Me- Where's Draco?
Lucius- He went out.
Me- He's grounded!
Lucius-........are they not allowed out when they are grounded?
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*Drunk Lucius stumbling over to touch M/n's baby bump*
Lucius- OH mY goD M/n, he's sevEN months old??????
Me- Yeah, and WAY more mature than you are.
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Lucius- The stars look beautiful tonight.
Me- They really do.
Lucius- You know what else looks beautiful?
Me- *blushing* I-
Lucius- This! *takes out his newly polished cane*
Me- *gets up and leaves*
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Lucius- *drunk, sobbing his eyes out*
Rodolphus- Hey mate, what's wrong?
Lucius- M/n just told me she's married! SHE JUST TOLD ME THAT!
Rodolphus- what
Rodolphus- she's married to you
Lucius- WHO THE FUCK IS 'YOU'
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Me- Sometimes Lucius makes me so angry.
Bellatrix- You're sitting in his lap.......
Me- Angrily
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Me- Lucius annoyed me today so I told him I can't wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow.
Bellatrix- There is nothing special about tomorrow.
Me- Ah, but there is something special about watching the color leave his face as the panic takes over.
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Lucius- Darling, what do you want to do for dinner?
Me- Well, we could just stay in and cook for ourselves.
Lucius & Me- *burst out laughing*
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Lucius- You know everything about me?
Me- Yes.
Lucius- What am I allergic to?
Me- Pine nuts.
Me- And the full spectrum of human emotion.
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Baby Draco- *starts screaming at 3 am*
Me *half asleep*- Your turn.
Lucius- Ugh, fine....
Lucius- *starts screaming*
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Lucius- Oh come on! I didn't drink that much last night.
Bellatrix- You were flirting with M/n(my name).
Lucius- So what? She's my wife.
Bellatrix- You asked her if she was single.
Bellatrix- And you cried when she said she wasn't.
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Me- It shouldn't take you longer than me to get ready.
Lucius- [over the sound of hairspray] What?
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Me- We are going out in public. I expect you to be in your best behavior.
Lucius- Yes, Draco. Listen to your mother.
Me- I was talking to you.
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Lucius- Draco's useless in a hospital. I recall this one time he cried and cried. I mean, it was more like wailing. It was awful.
Me- You're referring to his birth.
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Lucius was freaking out one morning and yelling for me. I had never heard Lucius yell like that and I started to panic as I ran upstairs. He was in distraught and sitting on the floor. "Lucius, what's wrong?!" "I CAN'T FIND MY HAIR BRUSH, M/N!!!!"
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Me- Lucius!
Lucius- Why is that when you say my name, it sounds like a curse word?
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Lucius *playing with my hair*- You're so cute when you're sleepy.
Me- Darling, I could kick your a*se right now.
Lucius *smitten and in awe*- Oh, I know.
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Me- Wow! You're cooking?
Lucius- Yes, I am.
Me- Aww. Are you sure that's a good idea after last time? You looked really creepy without eyebrows.
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Lucius- *trying to bribe Draco to get him to stop crying*
Me- Lucius, he's a four month old.
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Me- Before you go, I just want to hear those three little words.
Lucius- I love you.
Me- That's very sweet, but try again.
Lucius- *grumbling*
Me- What was that?
Lucius- I will behave.
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Lucius- *bringing a peacock into the Manor*
Me- Um...whatcha got there?
Lucius- Pumpkin juice....
Draco- I think mum meant the gigantic bird.
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[After Draco was born]
Me- Don't you want to see the baby?
Bellatrix- Psh! Why? I know what you and Lucius look like. I can mash that up in my head right now.
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Me- I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have a heart ant the capacity to feel.
Lucius- You take that back!
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Lucius- I feel a strange emotion towards you.
Me- Love?
Lucius- *turning red and sweating* No. Yes. Maybe
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Lucius- I got a splinter.
Me- What do you want me to do about it?
Lucius- Relationship Agreement - Section 4: Boo-boos and Ouchies. You have to take care of it.
Me- I should have gotten a lawyer.
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Lucius- Who put this picture of a ghost on my desk?
Me- That's a sonogram of our baby.
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Draco- Father! Father!
Me- Your son is awake...
Lucius- Before sunrise, he's your son.
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Me- Is that your cane?
Lucius- Yes.
Me- In a tiny bed beside our bed?
Lucius- Yes.
Me- That's pretty embarrassing.
Lucius- Yes, it is. I must buy a better bed for it.
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Lucius- Severus, would you mind watching Draco while M/n and I sneak away for a quick---
Me- Tea. Uh, just a quick...afternoon tea.
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Lucius- *bursts into Draco's room* Want to make 200 galleons??
Draco-........how?
Lucius- I need you to take the blame.
Me- [shrieks from downstairs] Oh. My. God.
Draco- What did you do?!
Lucius- I can't tell you! So, yes or no??
Me- OH MY GOD!
Draco- Make it 500.
Lucius- Done.
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Me- You're smiling, did something good happen?
Lucius- Can't I just smile because I feel like it?
Severus- Bella tripped and fell in the hallway.
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Lucius- [to everyone in this room] Roses are red, violets are blue. None of you can tell me what to do.
Me- *clears throat*
Lucius- Except for you.
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Me- When I was having Draco, Lucius showed up to the hospital in a suit because "first impressions matter'.
Lucius- Your point is?
Me- My point is you are a first-rate idiot. (I didn't mean this...)
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Me- Why are there little hand-prints all over the wall?
Lucius *whispering to toddler Draco*- Why are there little hand prints all over the wall?
Draco *whispering*- Because I have small hands!
Lucius- Because he has small hands.
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Rodolphus- I can't believe you and M/n broke the bed last night!
Bellatrix- Must have been a wild night!
Lucius- Haha. Yeah....
[last night]
Lucius- Bet you can't jump high enough to touch the celling!
Me- Try me.
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Me- And what did I tell you about lying?
Draco- That it only works on father.
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Me- I want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me.
Lucius- Okay, but in my defense, Severus bet me a bottle of firewhisky that I couldn't drink all that shampoo.
Me- That's not what I wanted to--
Me- You drank SHAMPOO?
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Me- It's time to wake up.
Lucius- Five more minutes....
Me*snuggling close to him*- Five more minutes.
Bellatrix- It's time to wake up.
Rodolphus- Five more minutes....
Bellatrix *sharpening a knife*- Maybe you misheard me.
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Rodolphus- Lucius, no!
Lucius- Lucius, yes!
Bellatrix- Lucius, no!
Lucius- Lucius, maybe!
Me- *softly* Lucius...
Lucius- Lucius, no.
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Tell me in the comments(or pm me) if you want to see more like these<3