I sat at the island, situated in the middle of our green kitchen. My feet touched the cold tile floor. My nose smelled the freshly baked bread, sitting on the countertop. I was not a baker, but I did like to make various treats on my days off. It was a way to relax, a way to relieve much of my stress.
These days have not been the same. Lockdown orders and the ongoing quarantine left my marriage in shambles. We were so far deep in, I was not sure how to recover. But I loved him, and I know he loved me, so we were not willing to give up—yet.
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My husband, Devon, walked downstairs and opened the fridge. I was so deep in thought that I did not notice he was even around. Lately, we have been keeping our "social distance," even within the house. I was not cooking for him. He was not cooking for me. I was not talking to him. He was not talking to me. It's like we did not know each other. It's as if I was not his wife.
Devon took out slices of turkey and cheddar cheese from the fridge and laid it on the countertop. He then walked to the pantry, directly behind me, to get bread. I could smell his aroma. A scent I missed so much. He walked around me, and back to the countertop, to make his sandwich, with his back facing me.
I fell even deeper in thought.
This man is my universe, and I never want to leave his side. But why is it so difficult to get over our problems?
"I am thinking about scheduling a therapy appointment for us" Devon said. His deep voice caught me in the middle of my thoughts. I looked up into his eyes, staring as if I had been caught off guard. "Did you hear me?" he followed. "I-I did," I responded and proceeded to look into my lap, playing with my fingers to avoid eye contact.
"Can you talk to me?" He whispered to me frustratedly as he bent down next to me. "I love you," he said to me while looking me in my eyes.
"You love her," I whispered back lowly. His face changed. He stepped back. Devon had a look of annoyance, of frustration, of tiredness.
I got up out of my seat before he could say another word, and walked away. I did not marry a man to compete with another woman and before he tries to rekindle this love, he needs to understand that.
