Aim: Avenger | Y/N Story

20 - "Hurt"

"The metal from the grenade hit his left shoulder where the few remaining muscles were. The metal arm prevented most of the bleeding caused by the nicked artery, but it caused some of the contaminated blood to flow back into his arm. He'll need to be monitored for infections." One of the medical staff announced to us. "He might need to be fitted for a new prosthetic; The shrapnel affected the structure of his arm. There are other various cuts, but his amour prevented any vital organs from being punctured." He added.

"Thank you, doctor." Steve said.

"How long will he need to be monitored?" Tony asked.

"I would say three weeks. Since he's been, um, altered, it's difficult to tell." The doctor answered with uncertainty. With no more questions, he turned and walked away.

I was still wearing my darkly colored suit, my head in my hands. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and winced from pain.

"Y/N, are you alright? Have you been checked by a doctor?" I heard Steve say above me. 

I shook my head. "I don't need to."

"Y/N." He said, a mix of annoyance and sorrow lacing his words as he effortlessly lifted me gently from my chair, bridal-style.

"Hey, put me down!" I tried to wiggle out of his hold, pushing against his chest, but stopping when pain shot up from my shoulder. "Ow." I grumbled. He carried me carefully to an exam room, and set me down on the table.

"Stay here. I'm going to go get a doctor." He ordered, glaring at me sternly with a look that dared me to disobey him.

"I don't need an exam. I'm fine." I argued.

"Don't do this, Y/N. Don't try to destroy yourself because you feel responsible for what happened."

"That's just it, Rogers. I am responsible. He wouldn't be there without me. And don't try to say anything else, I already had that conversation with Natasha." I replied sternly.

He ran his hand through his blonde hair, visibly angry. He crouched down to my eye level. "Y/N, I know exactly what you are feeling. With the same person. When Bucky fell out of that train, I tried to drown myself with self-destruction. It didn't work. So I tried to take revenge, throwing myself at Hydra. I helped a lot of people, but I still felt that empty pit in my soul, for years. That guilt tears you up inside." He paused, taking my hands into his. I pushed away the impulse to pull my hands away and kept still. He continued, "You need to know he'll be okay. You need to see him when he's better, and I think you know that. But you can't do that if you're dead. So, you are getting an exam, and treatment. For him, if you can't do it for yourself. Got it?"

I looked into his eyes, and saw the truth behind them. His thoughts were a jumbled mess of the present and the past, with worry for the future, but the truth in his words was there, too, a constant in his chaotic mind. I reluctantly nodded, and he stood up and walked out to find a doctor.

He's right, Y/N. And you know it. I've never felt this horrible feeling before. It's a dark presence in the pit of my stomach, tearing apart my heart and clouding my mind. I was so buried in my thoughts I hadn't noticed a person walk into the room, and jumped when they spoke.

"Hello, Y/N. I'm Doctor Antonescu. Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." She said, smiling at me with a genuine kindness in her eyes. 

"It's fine."

She smiled a little bit brighter, and I returned it with a smaller one. "Well, Miss Y/L/N, I'm going to have to ask you to remove your suit so I can see where you're hurt."

"I know. Not my first med exam." I said lightly, gently removing my suit. I winced as I pulled the protective material off of my shoulder, and was slightly surprised to see blood.