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It was getting close to 10 o’clock and we had watched two movies and were halfway through our third. I was starting to drift off so I turned the TV off and got up. Marc was already asleep so I took his plate and the bowl of popcorn we made and set it in the kitchen. I shuffle over to the couch and pick up my phone on the coffee table to see six calls and three texts. Two calls from Virginia, one call from Lisa, and three calls from Eric. I stare at the name on the screen, frozen in shock. I blink and look at the texts, which were all from Eric. I click on the first one, Hey babe, call me. Shivers run down my spine and I click the next one. C’mon please call me, Im srry. I sigh at him in anger and disbelief as I click the last one. Im really srry can we talk about it? If you think we should, come to the playground at our old school and meet me at the swings. 10:15 I will be waiting. I look at the time, 10:07, and head out the door. I close it behind me softly, locking it, and run down the hallway and down the stairs.
Our old Middle School looked so abandoned at night. The shadows clearly defined in the pale moon light. They seemed to jump out and swallow you whole, leaving no trace of you. I used to go here all the time at night, since I lived across the street, to escape the life of a seventh and eighth grader. I would stop at the fence guarding the playground and shed my normal life to go into a freer, more unrealistic life of a middle school student. Eric had come here a couple times too. He lived down the block from me and would see me walk down the street to the school. He told me, once when he first followed me here, that I should talk to someone about what’s happening instead of ignoring the problem. I almost listened to him but then he told everyone that I brought him back to school at night and forced him to make out with me. I don’t really remember what happened the next night he came but I do remember slapping him and that he went home. That night was when he changed into this aggressive, playboy. Now that I think back on it, I think I am to blame for the way he acts. I kick a small rock away from me thinking that out of my anger, I changed someone’s life negatively. I meander over to the fence and see him sitting there, on a swing, staring blankly into the sky. I push open the gate, revealing my presence, and take a seat on the swing next to him. He doesn’t look at me, just keeps staring at the sky. I wonder if he even saw me come in.
“You know, some people might say hello,” he says still looking at the sky.
“Some people don’t walk up to other people, make out with them, and walk away,” I say back with a little edge.
“I’m sorry if that’s what it came across as,” he responds turning his head to face mine, “I really like you but given that you’re with Marc, I didn’t know what to do.” Our eyes meet and we stare at each other, not at all awkwardly, and start to lean in closer to each other.
“I’m sorry that I haven’t been a very trustworthy friend but what you did to me hurt and this is how I acted on that,” he searches my face for any signs of remembrance of that night. I just sit there, frozen, while guilt builds up inside me now that I know that my recent fear was real. He took my hands into his, wincing when realizing how cold I was. I look at the ground and pull my hands away. I could feel him burning a hole in my head as he continues to stare. I get up and walk over, standing right in front of him.
“I forgive you for what you did after school today and what you said in eighth grade, so can you forgive me for changing you?” I ask him pleading with my eyes. The guilt was killing me even though it has been only a couple of minutes since he said that it was my fault. He stands up, hands on my shoulders, looking me straight in the eye. The moment was perfect, after putting aside the guilt that was still there waiting for his next move.
“Of course I forgive you, it doesn’t change the fact that it happened. I need you to help me become that person again. I don’t want to be the friend that betrayed you; I want to be the friend that was there for you.” At those words, the guilt expanded and popped into nothingness. I took his hands off my shoulders, paused a second, then stood on my tip toes to kiss him. He just stood there, not moving, for a few seconds. Then, like a snap, he starting kissing me back. It was obvious that he wanted this; I could feel the eagerness in his kisses. He pulled me closer to him, not wanting to let go. You never know what betrayal is until you are the one who betrayed another. I knew I had betrayed Marc, and that is the worst part. It is one thing to do something terrible and not know it was, than to know that what you did was wrong and you keep doing it anyway. I wanted this just like Eric, but to what extent I was not sure. I kissed him one more time, and then stepped back. I looked up into his eyes to see the expression that he was trying to hid. He looked sad that it ended but happy to know that we are on equal ground. He knew we were not over, and I knew it to.
“I should go,” I say as I look down at his shirt.
“Yea, maybe,” he replies back not even looking at me, just watching the trees sway back and forth. I look back up at him just to see him smile down on me. I pull him in and let him embrace me. I gripped onto his shirt as I breathed in the smell of his cologne. I would remember this smell because it has a touch of him in it. Vanilla and Eric: not a bad combination. He lets me go and I start to walk away. I stop at the gate and glance back at him. He went back to the swings and was looking at the stars again. I smile to myself as I think; this will be a forbidden relationship. No one must know about this, at least not yet.
