Hessa.

Chapter 25

"You have a funny way of showing me that" he sits down on the sofa and I walk over to join him. He isn't looking at me whatsoever and its killing me. I bring my hand up to his cheek to turn his face to me.

"Hey look at me" my hand rests on his cheek but he immediately takes my hands off him.

"Please dont touch me right now"

"Look im sorry ok. I shouldn't have lied to you. I just- I dont like talking about it at all. With anyone. And that therapist was the most frustrating human being i have ever met,after you obviously. The reason I even agreed to do therapy in the first place was because I felt like I would be letting you down if I didnt. I didnt want you thinking I wasnt trying. These last few months have been some of the toughest of my life and I want you to know that I am trying ok. Im trying so hard to forget but its mentally exhausting to do." The massive lump in my throat is coming through when I speak and tears prick my eyes.

"Thats the thing tess I dont think its good for you to just try and forget. You should be dealing with this not trying to ignore it." I don't expect hardin to understand. Its not going to make sense to anyone but myself.

"I need you to let me deal with this on my own ok. No therapists. No lectures. Just let me heal from all of this by myself. Please can you let me do this one thing." I beg

"Ok. I will let you deal with this on your own but please just know that your not alone. I love you more than anything tess and I will always be here for you no matter what happens to us." He pulls me in to his chest his arms wrapped around me and I take a breath to rid of the lump in my throat.

"I love you." I look up at him and he leans down gently pressing his lips against mine.

We spend the afternoon on the couch watching movies and doing my favourite thing. Absolutely nothing.

"You hungry?" Hardin stands up and scratches his arms above him making his shirt ride up revealing his tattoo and the lines going down into his trousers. I still ask myself sometimes how the hell someone like him is with me. Hardin could quite easily get with anyone he wanted to but for some reason he chose me. I am not complaining though.

"Ye kinda. Can we order pizza?" He nods and grabs his phone ringing the pizza place.

30 mins later we have completely finished the whole pizza and are ready to go to bed. Im not completely tired yet so I grab a book and get into bed where hardin is already laying with his eyes closed. I end up reading almost half the book. I check the time and its early hours of the morning now. I tell myself I will finish reading this last chapter and then go to sleep.

Hardin turns over from his sleep. "Baby you need to get some sleep. Its late." He rubs his eyes and yawns at the same time.

"I'll stop in a minute." He grabs the book out of my hand and places it on his bedside cabinet.

"Excuse you. I wasnt finished and ive probably lost my page as well now."

"Shhhh just come here." I lay down next to him and he pulls me so my back is against his chest. He kisses the back of my neck and I lay there staring at the wall. I become hyper aware of hardins hand trailing up and down my waist. I put my hand under the sheets to stop him. I look at him and his eyes are open watching my hand rest on top of his. I turn back to the wall and his hand continues to move. My breathing picks up and goosebumps raise on my arms. Hardin notices and I can see a small smile play on his lips out of the corner of my eye. His hand moves from the side of my waist down to the front of my stomach. My legs brush against his and our legs intertwine.My hearts racing against my chest and hes driving me crazy. My eyes flutter closed trying to ignore his hands on me but its near impossible.I can't contain myself anymore so I hastily turn over to face him wrapping my arm around his shoulder pulling his mouth to mine. His mouth opens allowing my tounge access. My leg lifts up over his waist pulling him closer and his grip on me tightens. I pause for a second to look at him and his eyes are wild. His hand slowly trails down from my waist to my leg thats hooked around him to my ass. His kisses are hard but deep as his fingertips continue leaving goosebumps in there wake. He presses his fingers against the thin material on my panties making me suck in a sharp breath. My mouth remains open against hardins as my breathing gets heavier and heavier. My arm pulls him on top of me and I wrap both of my legs around him. My free hand roams his back scraping my nails against him as his tounge traces my lips.

"Are you ok?" He asks,his voice heavy and panting.

"Mmmh" is all that manages to come out of my mouth. He chuckles at my attempt of speaking.

"Oh shut up" I pull him closer stopping his laughter with my mouth. My tounge laps his and my legs wrapped around him still pull him in even closer so I feel him against me. He groans at the contact and moves his fingers into the front of my panties. My mouth involuntarily opens again and my eyes close.

"Look at me" Hardins balzing eyes stare into mine as his fingers continue to move against me.

"I want to. I want to." I say heavily.

"Not yet. I dont think your ready."

"I dont care. I need you now" my hands go under the sheets to feel him against me. My feet push his boxers down and I grip him in my hand.

"Fuck" he moans into my mouth. I move my hand up and down against him.

"Get a condom." I pant.

"No." Im shocked by his refusal to have sex with me. I pull my hand away and try to reach for hardins draw where I know he has many condoms. He pushes me back down against the bed.

"Stop. Not tonight."

"Why" my breathing started to slow again despite hardins hands still on me.

"Shhh. Be quiet." His finger slides inside me making my nails dig into the skin on his back. Hardins head moves down to my neck suckjng at the skin roughly. My fingers make there way to his hair tugging slightly.

"hardin" I moan against his ear. My toes curl and my hand grabs the sheet of the bed pulling tightly as I come from his fingers. My moans and heavy breathing are stopped by hardin kissing me again. I bite gently at his lip as I ride out my high.

"Fuck you have no idea how hard that was for me to say no."

"Its not like im stopping you." My hand reaches for him under the sheets. He stops me again. I pull him down to me again my breathing still heavy.

"Please let me touch you" I whisper into his ear.

"No." Hes annoying me now so I don't give him the option. I push him down onto the bed so I can straddle him. He leans in to kiss me again but I slowly pull away making sure our lips are still inches apart but not touching. I push my hips against his leaning down into his ear again

"You sure?" He doesn't answer he just looks at me. I open my mouth kissing him deeply before moving down the bed under the sheets,hardins eyes watching my every move. His head falls back against the pillow again when I take him into my mouth.

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been super busy moving back into my house. Schedule for updates will be back to normal. Technically this should have been out Monday but next chapter will be up on Friday.

Updates are on Mondays and Fridays!!!
Hope everyone had an amazing Christmas ❤ -Anna