We Are Meant To Be

Anger

"Wha-.. I-.. I came here because I wanted to help" you managed to choke out.

He was still holding you. You knew he wouldn't go any farther than this but his hands were definitely holding you too tight

"You will never amount to anyone's standards" he got even closer to your face "You are a fucking nobody. You are nothing. So don't come in here all high and mighty trying to act like a good person because you are not" 

You pushed him off

Grabbing your bag and slamming the door on your way out. You drove too calmly home. But once you got home and shut the door behind you. You fell against the door and onto the floor. Sobbing into your knees

Even after all of that you knew that it was just grief talking and you wanted to go back and try again. Even if it pained you

... 

The next day was your day off so you decided to sit on your couch and watch movies. As time went on you saw that it was 5pm. You hopped into the shower and then traveled into your car off to Spencer's apartment again

This time you didn't bother knocking and just used the spare to walk in. Spencer was passed out on the couch. You noticed something new. He was wearing a short sleeve and his arm looked bruised and there was a small empty glass bottle on the coffee table. You picked it up and read 'Dilauded'

You left Spencer on the couch and looked through all his drawers and then inside his closet. You went back to the living room to look and made your way back into the bathroom. Under the sink you found 2 more bottles. 

You quickly ran back into the living room violently shaking Spencer awake

"Spencer wake up" you shook him "Wake the fuck up"

He slowly opened his eyes

You took the three bottles of Dilauded and shoved it in his hands

"What the hell Reid" you shouted at him and he quickly sat up and leaned back into the couch cushions

"I know that you must be going through hell but throwing your life away is not the fucking way to go"

"Get out" he groaned squinting his eyes

"What" you sighed

"Leave y/n this is none of your business" 

You started walking to the door turning the doorknob but you couldn't leave Spencer here to throw his life away. You paused in your spot. You wiped away some tears and walked back to him 

"Get up" you said sternly grabbing his hand so he could sit up and grabbed the dilauded from his hands shoving them in your pockets

"Don't you understand I do not want you here get out" He grabbed an open beer bottle and drank it

"I am not letting you throw your life away so get the fuck up" you kept pulling at him

He got up

"GET OUT" he yelled

"No matter how many times you say it or hurt me I am not leaving"

"DO YOU THINK I AM PLAYING GAMES GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE" he said grabbing your shoulders 

You pushed him off 

"I SAID NO"

"LEAVE" 

"NO" 

"Y/N GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE" he grabbed you and slammed you against a wall

You quickly pushed him off. 

"I'm just trying to help and your fucking acting like an animal" you kept fighting him off.

"I don't need your fucking help"

"Well clearly you need it and it starts like this" you quickly ran to the bathroom opening the small bottles and beginning to pour one of them out 

You went for your pocket and took out the second bottle. You felt yourself being forced down to the bathroom floor. The bottle laid just above you. Looking up you saw Spencer hovering over you giving you a look. His hands were flat at your sides. You quickly twisted yourself so you were face down to the floor and quickly crawled to the bottle. Grabbing it you felt Spencer grab your leg dragging your body towards him. He grabbed your hips bringing you closer

"Spencer what the hell" you screamed

"Give me the bottle" you turned towards him and he tried prying your fingers open 

"No Spencer let the fuck go" pulling your hand back 

You managed to kick Spencer into the sink and stood up. You took a step back catching your breath. And threw the bottle out the bathroom window. Hearing a faint sound of glass breaking. You didn't realize that spencer stood up. He grabbed you by the neck with one hand and grabbed your shoulder with the other. Once again pushing you against the bathroom wall. He terrified you. 

"What the hell is your problem" he looked you in the eyes

"I'm trying to help you" you winced out

"Why would you do that" you could smell the vodka in his breath "That was helping"

"That was destroying your life" you started raising your voice

"You are a fucking idiot that just wants to destroy people's lives" he tightened his grip around your neck and used his other hand to punch the wall besides you. Barely missing your face

Your right hand was loose from his grip. You pushed him back and rolled your fist into a ball. Punching him in the face. You pushed him backwards and he fell into the tub. Quickly reaching over and turning the cold water on so you could sober him up in any type of way

"No no no" he yelled struggling to get out while you held him down

You couldn't hold him off so you climbed in the tub. And hovered over him. Pushing down on his chest. Both of you soaking in cold water

"Stop fucking fighting" you said now sobbing in his face "I'm doing this because I love you and I know that you don't love me back but can't you fucking see that this is wrong. You just fucking attacked me for drugs. Can't you see why I'm here. I'm not here to win you over. I'm here because you were my friend. I'm here because I care about you. Can't you see. I miss my friend."

At this point you were just screaming in his face. You couldn't feel the cold water touching you because of the heat of your frustration 

...

You were sitting against a wall. Staring at the sink. To the right of you Spencer was sitting in the empty tub staring at the ceiling

Your hair was damp and your clothes were soaking wet. Mascara was smeared down your face and all of your lip-gloss was wiped away. You looked down at your hand and realized it was bruised. Slightly turning your head to look at Spencer you saw his eye was bruising. You both sat in silence. The hour you spent sitting on the floor sped by. The cold water and time had sobered Spencer up a little.

" I miss her" he whispered turning to face you

"I know" turning to keep eye contact with the white sink

You stood up looking at the mirror above the sink. Not only did you look like crap. You felt like crap. You looked over to Spencer

"You don't want me here do you" you breathed out looking back at the mirror. 

"No" he said turning his head slowly to look at you

"Spencer" you looked down at him. "Good bye"

You walked out to the living room and picked up your bag. Making your way to the door you couldn't help but feel useless

The Spencer you knew was gone