Between both Worlds

CHAPTER 1 - THE HIDDEN LEDGER

"You are not my blood."

She could not stop thinking about it. Layla Nur's father has said so many irrational things but none that replayed on her head for several days. Initially, she didn't think much of it. Her father has been gone for too long now so she's starting to wonder if he really meant what he said. Am I adopted? The thought didn't take her by surprise. In fact, she catches herself wondering if she was adopted every time she looks at herself in the mirror.

She's never surprised but always curious. She's no longer interested in the whereabouts of her extended family. She no longer wants to see a picture of her mother. She stopped wondering how she died. None of that mattered anymore because her curious questions didn't get any answers from her deranged father.

She wants to know why he's hiding so much. That's what she's curious about. She stopped asking her father because he's starting to lose more and more of himself everyday.

How many days has it been? 6? 1 week? She stood near the door of her father's bedroom. She looked around absently. The undone bed, the clumsy shelf, his open bathroom. It still looked to her like her father was present. It didn't look like a room of a disappeared man. She wondered if she should get the room ready for his arrival. He's never been gone for this long. His 3 day disappearance has stretched to a week.

She went to her room and left the door open so she could hear him if he came back in the middle of the night. She was hungry but didn't have enough grocery to make her dinner. She saved the last two slices of bread for breakfast, or when she's actually really hungry.

If her father comes back to an empty fridge, he might scream the whole house down. She's only allowed to leave the house when he's present. She didn't dare step out even when she's got nothing to eat so she decided to wait for another day.

She took her ledger out from under her bed. She didn't know why she was hiding it. Her father was not in his right mind to go looking for things in her room but she was still being careful.

Layla's Diary.
(Day 7 of dad's disappearance)

She didn't stop to think what she wanted to write. It's been on her mind all week.

"You are not my blood."

I don't look like Pa so I figured I looked like Ma. Ma, I always pictured you in my head with the same hair as mine. Long & jet black with a streak of white. Turns out, I am adopted. How long was your hair ma? I want to cry but I can't. I want to say that I miss you, but how can I miss someone I don't know? Will pa come back? I don't have anyone if Pa doesn't return.

She wondered why all her recent diary entries are sad. She couldn't remember the last time she wrote a happy memory. Every time she fills her diary, she thinks of the guy. The nameless guy who always stands out no matter how much he tries to hide.

Are you thinking of me like I am thinking of you? Been seven days since I last saw you. Should I risk a quick run to the store? Will you be waiting for me? She smiled as she wrote it.

She hated herself for missing the guy more than she missed Pa. She knew Pa would come back. But will the guy wait for her? He didn't have a name because she didn't ask. She can't even muster up enough courage to wave at him.

It was scary in the beginning. They guy seemed to follow her everywhere but she thought she was being paranoid at first. After a few weeks, she considered if she should inform the police. But for some reason, he seemed friendly. He didn't come forward to talk to her but there was something about him that she liked.

One day she sees him sitting on the bench at the local park. The other day pretending to read a book at the bookstore. He was always around and it got to a point where he's no longer afraid of showing up in front of her. She even saw him smiling once or she thought he did. She caught herself expecting to see him on days he didn't show up.

She only went out when it was utterly necessary so there were very few places she visited. She always tries to go around the same neighbourhood in hopes she runs into him.

- - -

She couldn't wait till breakfast so she gave in and had one slice of bread with tea (more water, less milk) and saved the other for tomorrow.

Her Pa's room smelled clean after she spent nearly two hours cleaning and dusting, careful not to misplace anything. She's allowed to change sheets and sweep the floor but not to touch his shelf with all his belongings and books. She still went through a few things that wouldn't show evidence of touch.

She walked into the bathroom to tidy his cabinet. There's not much to clean since he uses one soap for all his needs. She found the toothpaste empty and the cap gone. She opened the cabinet to find a new tube to replace the old one. At that moment, she could see a brown rope hanging from behind the cabinet. She stepped aside to look through the gap and found a ledger, wedged between the cabinet and the wall. She used his worn out toothbrush to poke the book until it finally fell from the tight grasp.

For a few seconds she tried to stop herself from opening it. The fact that her father could even work his mind to hide something was impossible. What could he possibly want to hide from her?

He never once opened up about their family. She didn't care because she knew her father no longer has a sound mind but how can someone like that keep a hidden diary? This is probably the closest she'll ever get to her father. The thought that she had to push the ledger back between the wall and the cabinet stressed her out. She was very sure Pa would notice that someone had touched it.

She took the ledger to her room and opened it with sweaty hands. She's seen him use this ledger a few times. He had a spare one lying around which is now her diary. All these days, she's never really been curious as to what her father was writing. Definitely nothing serious. But now that her father has said those strange words, she wanted to read it.

She untied the rope and opened it with guilt and excitement. But to her dismay, she found it empty. It looked used but there was nothing written on it. But she was so sure she saw him writing.

Was it a different one? How many did he have? She wasn't so sure but definitely more than two.

She looked in between pages. Nothing.
She turned to the back of the book.
There was a tiny envelope. It was a rusty maroon shade with embossed gold lettering that read 'KINGDOM OF AGATE".

What? A kingdom?

Inside the envelope, there were two photos and a folded piece of parchment.

Who uses parchment these days?

In one photo, there was a man and a woman dressed in royal clothing. For a second she thought they were cosplaying but they both looked very serious. Like they were actual Royals. The king and The queen. They both had very long, platinum white hair.

The other photo was a family portrait. It was the same man but this time his hair was loosely tucked underneath a black beanie, strands of white falling on his face. He was beaming, smiling like he'd won the lottery.

It reminded her of the stalker guy. He always wore a beanie hat. She wondered if his hair was straight or curly. Dark or blonde.

Next to the man, a very pretty woman with black hair was leaning on his shoulder with a baby girl on her lap. She was also smiling. The baby looked to be about a year old, or less, and had straight black hair.

She looked closer and found a few strands of white.

And with a swift, sudden intake of breath, she dropped the book like it was on fire.

Oh my god.
Is that my family?