Hey, bud. There's a lot to fit in here so lesson one may be split into two parts.
Let me ask you something. Okay? When you look at a woman, and be honest, what is the first thing you notice about her? Her butt, maybe? Or trying to decipher what he bra size might be? Stop. If you want to find someone to love you need to be able to look at a woman and the first thing you notice about her be her smile, her eyes, her laugh, hell, even her nose even.
As cheesy as this sounds, love conquers lust.
Sure, you can masturbate and all that, but, when it comes to, let's say a hookup, that's risky business your'e getting yourself into. Of course in the moment the bit of pleasure you get with the person your'e with will feel great, but it's the long term affects that might damage you. You don't want something bad happening to ruin your reputation. Most importantly, I don't want you to solely see a woman as a sex object. She's so much more than that.
In a relationship, you need to be honest. Never lie. If you ever need the feel to lie t your partner, should you even be dating them? You should feel comfortable talking to them about anything. Never be afraid to cry either. Men can cry as well. I promise you it won't make you look any less of a man just because you have the same emotions everyone else has.
Son, there's going to be a time when you begin developing actual "crushes" on girls, not just your typical middle school crushes. Sometimes you'll want to rush it and just jump right into her arms. In the words of Cat Stevens, "slow down, take it easy." Don't rush it. I promise you rushing it is never healthy. Don't ever get into a relationship (and this comes from experience) unless you know these things:
- Her favorite color
- Her birthday
- Most of her family
- Her interests (movies, music, etc)
- Her life plans
And that's only the basics. Especially if you can't name her favorite color, how well do you think that relationship will go? Well, I can tell you, I know for a fact, it will go horribly. Look, just don't force yourself into a relationship to make yourself look good or to be happy. You'll find that rushing into a relationship will make you anything but happy. It's so hard to force emotions to someone that you know are fake and not true. I did that once and it was probably one of the worst mistakes I ever made.
Let's move back to the topic of women and their bodies. They are so much more than that. Growing up, your'e going to meet a lot of men that only see women for the bodies they have. It's only one of the most saddest and sickening things I experienced growing up. Sometimes seeing it occur with even your closest friends.
The personality of a girl will make you happier than you think. One day, your'e going to grow old. Bodies get saggy, wrinkly, and gross. Three things will remain the same forever, though. Their smile, eyes, and personality. If you can look into her eyes and see the beauty in her eyes and you can actually see yourself growing old with her, you've won. That's the type of man you should strive to be.
My favorite quality of a girl's face has always been her smile. You can learn more in her smile than you can from a damn dictionary. Even when it's not moving and speaking words, in a sense you always know what her lips are saying. Son, I want you to love her smile so much that sometimes it's hard to speak when you see her. Your'e almost distracted, but, unlike the other boys, your'e distracted for the right reasons. I promise you that if learn to control your desires and learn to look at her for her true beauty, that butterfly feeling you get when you first meet her will never go away. They'll stay. And they'll grow. That's one of the downfalls of only using a girl for sex. You lose the butterfly feeling shortly. Mainly having it when your'e lusting over her. Have those butterflies all the time. Not just when your cocks hard.
Let your heart control your actions. Not your dick. That's small dick energy anyway (somethings kids would say back in the 20s').
I'm still not done with this subject. I'll talk to you more about it soon. See ya bud. Love ya.
- Dad
