The Last Spring [Editing is in the Process]

30. Upside Down

I didn't realize that her wholeheartedness towards me would change my mindset about emotional feelings toward a counterpart.

I had no idea that a sense of losing someone so precious in my life would feel this heavy the time we reunited and as I learned that I could no longer reach out to her.

And being alone with Hyeyoon on a trip like this was bliss yet torture to me, that made me failed to control my action toward her. No one would understand how I yearned for her. I was with her all the time these past two days but I couldn't reach her.

I missed her so bad. I missed her being in my embrace and her scent that I could inhale as I engulfed her tiny body into a hug.

I shut my eyes tiredly as I recalled the event at Xiamen Branch. I lost control of myself the moment her delicate body was in my hand. She was so irresistible that I had zero power against myself around her.

I was longing for her. My heart was longing for her. I missed her touch on me. I missed every part of her and I couldn't help myself when I saw her crying because of my wrongdoings.

I knew I've hurt her in the past and I did wish that there would be another chance for me to remedy all her pain; another chance to be loved by her once again.

All the wrong deeds I had done to her were thrown back to my face by her words earlier. She slapped me hard with her boldness, the boldness that I hadn't known she'd be able to possess. And all she said was painfully true.

A simple sorry wouldn't be enough to make up for all my mistakes to her. She had the very right to be angry at me right now. She could hate me, too if she wanted to.

I slipped the watch back into my pocket and slowly got up from the seat. I had been here for more than 20 minutes already. The train decreased the speed and arrived at the transit station.

I slowly walked to the compartment's end and slid the door open. I should be back.
I walked past a few passengers that had just got on the train and tried to find their seats. I saw my seat and Hyeyoon was still in her seat.

As I stood by the seat, I saw her fell asleep with her head leaned to the window. She must be felt uncomfortable in that position. I sat on my seat and checked on her and was about to fix her sleeping position when I saw the trace of tears ran down her soft cheek.

She was crying again.

I sighed helplessly.

What should I do to you, Hyeyoon?

Was it a bad move of entering her life again? I always made her cry thus I was no good for her. I didn't deserve her, and yes, she did deserve someone better than me. The thought I just had was torturing me. It crushed the pride and the ego I was always been proud of for all this time.

I sighed in desperation.

I didn't use to feel things such as remorse or repentance upon everything that had happened. Let alone my life had been hard and difficult already, hence I always had the thought of keep moving on and busily doing my best.

Moreover with all these romance things. Life is not all about love, right? At least, that was what I'd always have in mind. Until this girl came into my life and everything was turned upside down.

"What have you done to me, Hyeyoon?"
I muttered lowly as I took the blanket from the cabin baggage above and quietly pulled it to cover her body. I set the lighting off and tuned down the air conditioner. Giving her more comfortable surroundings to rest.

* * *

The calling for the last stop was announced 10 minutes before the arrival. I opened my eyes and looked around. Hyeyoon was still sleeping.
I decided to slowly reach out to her and woke her up gently.