Beauty From Pain

Chapter Four

Luna tried to give her an intimidating look but ultimately failed and smiled dreamily instead. 

"She values her reputation as well as her standing in wizarding society above all else. We should ruin both."

Ginny groaned dramatically and looked ready to shake the poor blonde for only rewording what she had already said, so Hermione quickly intervened.

"Why don't we step out for an early lunch? I think we will all be able to better scheme on full stomachs."

She knew food was the easiest way to distract Ginny, and she wasn't disappointed. Ginny smoothly vaulted over the back of the couch and dashed for the door. "Last one there pays!"

They decided on a small cafe further down Diagon Alley and were thankful that it was relatively empty when they arrived. Despite the lack of a crowd, the women were distinctly aware of the intense stares coming from the few customers inside. Doing their best to ignore them, they placed their food orders with a passing waitress and claimed a table tucked snuggly in a corner of the small building.

"I've never been able to get used to the stares," Ginny grouched and slouched further into her chair, as though she could become one with the furniture and fade from view.

Luna met the gazes around them unflinchingly, as if daring them to approach or speak. "Unfortunately, I don't believe they are staring at us, Ginny."

Hermione looked around and realized Luna was right; everyone in the room was staring directly at her in varying degrees of subtly. Damn that article. She resisted the urge to join Ginny, who was nearly under the table, and settled for picking at the floral table cloth in front of her.

She had been lucky after the war, she realized. The staring of grateful and starry-eyed citizens around them had been a weight she had avoided bearing when she disappeared into the muggle world. The muggles had been blissfully unaware of the war against Voldemort and had no idea she was any sort of heroine or veteran. Hermione cringed slightly at the twang of guilt that ran through her. She truly had abandoned her friends to handle so much on their own.

Hermione felt a hand rest gently on her shoulder, and looked up to see a pair of blue eyes looking back at her full of more understanding than she was comfortable with.

Luna gave her a gentle smile. "Everyone heals in their own ways."

Whatever Hermione was going to say in response was cut off by the arrival of their food. Thankfully the waitress didn't linger too long; she simply set down their trays, gave Hermione a lingering look, and then disappeared into the back room. Ginny had grumbled something under her breath about 'nosy good for nothings' but had left the waitress alone and instead opted for digging into her meal with gusto.

Hermione tried to eat but found her appetite swiftly fading under the weight of so many gazes around her. She sighed quietly and stood from the table. "I'm going to step into the loo." She left the table before either one of them could offer to come with her.

She swiftly made her way through the restaurant and heaved a sigh of relief as the thick wood of the bathroom door was finally able to block out the gazes of the customers. Her skin was crawling from the feeling of so many people looking at her, judging her, thinking they knew anything about her. It made her angry, but it mostly made her sick. She had taken the anonymity of living in the muggle world for granted, and she longed to return to it. It would be easy to apparate away, disappear back into the masses and lose herself again, but that would be running. And Hermione Granger didn't run. Right?

She looked up at herself in the bathroom mirror and frowned. She didn't like what she saw there - the fear in her eyes, the shame that still lingered behind her smile. No matter how much she tried to distract herself, she felt it every time she looked at Ginny and Luna. A graduate of Gryffindor, house of the brave, and here she was cowering in the bathroom like she was eleven years old once more.