The Purple Doritos

Chapter 12

"Jorden why did you cheat on me"

I really wished he'd answer me this time.

"I didn't"

"I know you did" I said, facing him now.

"I didn't" and now we faced each other.

"I fucking know you did"

He chuckled.

"You think I did cats"

"I. Know. You. Did." I've always noticed how my vocabulary was constrained under his attention but this was humiliating.

He was smirking now.
"You believe I did"

"Yes I do cause it's a fact"

"Tis not"

I could see where this was going and I wasn't planning to contribute to this idiocy.

"I hate this accent on you"

He just looked into my eyes.

"It is" I didn't care now. Two could play this game.

"Tis not"

"Tis"

"Tis not"

"Tis"

"Tis not"

"I'm going" I said as I stood up.

"Okay geez I'm joking sit down Cats" he motioned to the seat with his chin.

I could see the struggle in his face as he tried to come with words that could make any of this easier.

He couldn't.

But he tried.

"Okay so I know this'll sound funny or made up so don't get too mad"

I didn't want to, but wanting him to continue I nodded.

"So I just came home from practice and mom said someone was waiting for me in my room" he gulped and continued.

"She was standing there. Olivia I mean. Seeing her made me so fucking angry cats I swear to fuck I wanted to push her out and never see her face" he sighed.

"Instead you decided to make out with her?" I asked my tongue taking control again.

I didn't think I was ready to relive that day ever again. I would never be.

God what was I thinking?

He just glared at me in response.

"When I asked her to leave she said she wanted to give me a gift. I know how stubborn she is so I told her I would accept it as long as she leaves after I take it"

He looked down now.

"It was a shirt. She asked me to wear it. All I could think of was getting it over with so I could call you and see your face so I took of my shirt to wear it."

"And that's where you come in." He looked up to me again.

I was too stunned to think.
To speak.
To laugh.
To breathe.

Breathe, I reminded myself. Breathe.

"I believe you" I had to. Didn't I?

"Why didn't you tell me all of this then? Or the two months after it?"

My indignation after seeing him smile and at ease was so high I wanted to run again.

I feared the answer enough to not want it.
He still gave it to me though.

"I couldn't be with someone who trusted me so less.  With someone who doesn't even hear me out. Someone who didn't want to trust me."

I wanted to scream at him, tell him, it was not someone Jorden, it was me.

"I always told you, you were the only one and you doubted me. You doubted yourself. You being insecure kills me and you knew it cats"

"You have to admit it, you were being so very inconsiderate. Immature. Impulsive. You really thought I would cheat on you cats. You didn't even give me a second to explain."

I've never despised him more than I was at  that moment.

"I've always told you to trust me and I'll never forgive you for not doing that"

That's it.

I couldn't bare him making himself the victim.
The only victim was out relationship which had burned. Leaving nothing behind.

"Forgive me? Okay Jorden imagine this."

I prayed to god to make this work.

"Imagine you finally got what you wanted for all these years"
I took in a long breath.

"You've come to share it with me. Imagine you found out you got the sport scholarship." That was his equivalent of getting a perfect SAT score that I could think of.

"You're consumed with joy when you come to my house. You ask my dad where I am and you run to my door to hug me and tell me you finally did it." I smiled.

"You're thinking of all the ways we can celebrate while climbing the stairs. Of having dinner in my lawn while laying on my lap with me telling you how proud I was of you and When you open the door all your dreams came crashing on you.  You find"

I stifled a cry. I couldn't cry now. Not at this moment. Not now.

"You find a half naked me, with—"

He stood up and faced the other way, tugging his hair.
"Stop" he pleaded.

I wanted to, but I couldn't.

"You find me half naked with a guy. A guy you hate. A guy who had once made me feel everything you wanted to, but couldn't make me feel. A guy—"

"I said stop" I could hear the anger on his voice as he picked up his backpack and walking away as fast as he could.

Without him saying anything, His body conveyed 'follow me and you're dead'

And for the first time in months, we were on the same page.