Memory in a Bottle

Jace

Delilah. My sweet innocent Delilah. Is she a murderer? Or could that be considered self-defense. Delilah whimpers in her sleep and I hold her tighter. Can I tell someone? Should I? I don't think I have enough strength for that. Should I leave her? Damn it! My grip tightens as my muscles tense in anger. I work to release my grip on Delilah and set her down on the hospital bed. I leave her side and pace the room,

My mind is about to explode, how am I supposed to handle it all? Losing our baby, not being there to protect Delilah and learning that some sick fuck forced her to murder a little girl. When can we get a damn break?! I shove my hand through my hair. I need fresh air. Just as I go to the door mom enters the room.

"Honey? What's wrong?" She whispers sounding concern.

Oh, I just found out that my girlfriend had to murder people and animals to eat when she was in captivity! I wanted to say but I knew that would hurt ma.

"I just need fresh air. All of this is starting to become overwhelming. I.... I just need to breathe." I simply said.

"Okay if you need me, I'm here." She replies and walks to the chair by the bed. I sigh and walked out.

Once I was outside, I took a deep breath and breathed in the frosty winter air. I put my hood up and walked to the nearest café. I walk in and ordered a coffee. I sat down in one of their booths and sipped my coffee. I can't leave her because I love her too damn much. I can't tell anyone because none of that was her fault. She had to eat; she didn't want to die. I wish that it wasn't a little girl or anyone for that matter. The torment she must've went through afterwards... After she killed the girl. She's still going through it to this day. I silently cursed at myself.

Hell, I shouldn't have left her. I've seen her like this before and she almost killed herself. I immediately get up throwing a few bills on the table and rushed out. Just as I get outside my phone rings. It's mom. I answer it as my heart starts racing.

"Hello?"

"She's gone! I can't find her! She left a note saying to tell you that she's sorry. Jace what does she mean?" Mom asks hysterically.

"Mom, when did she leave?" I ask calmly.

"F-five minutes ago. At least I think so.... it might be a bit longer. I don't know! I can't find her. She's nowhere in the hospital!"

"Alright, stay there just in case she comes back. I'll look for her." I tell her.

"O-Okay. Be safe. Please, please find her."

"I will. I promise. Love you. Bye." I hang up and ran to my car only to find that it's gone. Damn it Lilah! Where are you?! Luckily, I have mom's keys. I get into her car and sped out of the parking lot. I only had half a gallon in my car so she couldn't have gone far. I drive past all our favorite places then I realized that in the mood she is in she would want to be in a secluded place. I drive to the beach; I feel relieved when I see my mustang parked in the parking lot. I park next to my car and got out. I walk over to my car and it was still warm from being used. She hasn't been here long. I trudged down the beach looking for her. In the corner of my eye, I saw a familiar black hoodie sitting in the sand in a fetal position. Recognizable black colored fingernails swiped at her face. It was Delilah. I ran to her. She didn't see me since her back was to me. I reached her and sat next to her.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey," She whispers.

"Can you tell me why you ran away?" I ask her calmly.

"I didn't want to be a burden on anyone anymore. I wanted to leave."

"You aren't a burden, Lilah. I love you and nothings ever going to change that."

"Why did you leave me? I woke up and you were gone. I thought that you didn't want me, and I was going to a group home to get adopted again or even get put on the streets since I would graduate from the system in a month or so. So, I left."

"Love, I only left so that I can get fresh air and to get some food. I thought mom was there?" I say truthfully.

"No, nobody was there. I went to the cafeteria to eat but I didn't eat because I felt so alone. I stole your car and came here." I put my arm around her and tugged her close.

"I will always want you, Delilah. Always. Don't forget that okay?"

"Okay."

"Where did you get the hoodie?" I ask her. She looks up at me and blushes.

"I went to the house and changed. I also put gas in your car and came here... please don't make me go back to the hospital." She begs. My brows cross together confused. What the hell? Why is she begging me not to go back to the hospital?

"Delilah? What is going on?" I asked alarmed.

"Um.... I just.... I'm tired of being in the hospital... that's all." She replied.

"Delilah... if there is anything-"

"I'm Fine." She snaps. Shocked I reel back and looked at her. Well, that's not normal. There is something she's not telling me.

"Okay." I reply surrendering. She leans back against me. "We have to go back so we can get your discharge papers and you can go home."

"Okay." She says but she doesn't get up.

"Okay." I move to get up when I see her face. I turn her face around, so she looks at me. "Delilah, love, what's wrong?"

"Nothing.... just thinking."

"And its making you cry?" I ask. She doesn't say anything. Another tear falls down her face. "Delilah, there's something wrong. You need to talk to me. Don't hold it in, love."

"You wouldn't believe me." She chokes out. I yell profanities in my head and imagine punching a wall but remain a cool exterior.

"Try me." I say as calm as possible. She looks at me and looks away. "Damn it Delilah! I'm trying to help you. You just keep pushing me away! Look at me god damn it!" She looks up and more tears were about to overflow her eyes. "Delilah please don't push me away. Just talk to me baby, please talk to me. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you." She closes her eyes and several more tears fell from her face. I wipe them away with the edge of my jacket. She opens her eyes and looked in my eyes.

"I keep thinking about the little girl and if I'd do that to my future child. Hell, I couldn't even protect the other one that was in my stomach. I tried so hard to fight back but I couldn't get to the knife fast enough. I keep thinking about how I can't get a damn break. It's like god doesn't want me alive anymore and Christ that's hard pill to swallow. That I probably wasn't meant to be alive as long as I am. Maybe that's why so many people are after me. All I want to do is to settle down and have a family... I don't have a mom or dad like you. I don't have a family like yours. I feel like I'm just a gust in your home that has overstayed their welcome. I don't know maybe I'm not needed here anymore and now people want to kill me because of that." She vents. I'm stunned. I have no idea what to say.