Make me cry

Tea cup pig

Rory

It's one of those quiet mornings where nothing is loud enough to even make a sound. At same time you feel like even the faintest noise would be loud enough to kill you. I swing my legs over the edge of my bed. 

I don't feel like eating; not in the right mood, or so I tell myself. 

Today's sun is grumpily shining through the blinds. It's much to bright. I lay down and pick my phone up. While I scroll through the usual distractions I spot an adorable creature wrapped in a blanket. It's a tea cup pig. 

It's small and pink and a little scared of the hand trying to pet it. My heart swells at the innocence. Somehow it makes me think of Alvin's face when I get close. Too close.  

I shut my phone and throw it on the bed. 

At school everything's the same, even though it doesn't feel that way. Why isn't anyone saying anything? 

"Rory! I found this rad video online, come over after school. We can hang" Dylan chimes as though he's made the discovery of a lifetime. 

"Nah, man. I've got shit to do" I mutter and head into tha classroom. The tables are all lined up nicely except for two of them in the front. I avoid looking at that place as if I will combust upon seeing it. 

When he enters the room I'm not sure I can breathe. What if he says something? What if he- No. He's Mr. Lonely-guy; who would he tell? I'm worried over nothing, I calm myself. Somehow the distress doesn't settle. 

Class starts even though the world has already ended. Did everybody miss it? 

It's all so uninteresting. I can't focus, even less than usually. My fet tap reslessly against the floor. Why am I so unsettled? It's all fine. I'm fine. Alvin is... 

I can't even stand first period. Without waiting for the break I swoosh out leaving everything behind. It feels so good to shed the educating shackles as I hurry down the sunburnt pavement. The basket court looks abandoned with rusty hoops and little piles of gravel. Those hurt like hell to land on. 

I spread out on the hill behind at the top of the hill behind the school. It's quite a bit to walk but I have no hurry, only irritation buzzing inside me. In the hot sun I rest, but it feels like I've forgotten something. I check my pockets for my phone and wallet. Obviously it's not them. 

I'm prud of myself; I manage to wait until classes are over before I allow my feet to stalk the steep way down towards the street. I know the way. I know how long it takes. It scares me how intently I lay this out in my head, but I don't stop myself as I walk faster. 

Just as I've planned, there he is. 

Alvin walks slowly as if he doesn't have anything to hurry to. I know why. But that is not important right now. 

We're a far bit from school so no one will se us. That little fact is enough to make me wring off any sensability and leave it on the street as I call for him. 

"Alvin!" 

I see the way his little back clenches by my vocie. The white shirt is buttoned all the way except for one button, allowing just a little bit of neck to show under his dark hair. He turns around facing the ground. 

I'm supposed to say something now. I've done nothing wrong according to our deal yet I feel like I can't even talk to him. Obediently he stands there waiting. My legs has lost their momentum but I force them to take me closer. 

I'm looking at the dry trees around us, at the hellishly bright sky, at the pavement. When I will my hand to grab his arm he cowers but stays there. In a moment of complete madness I sweep his hair back, looking into a pair of astonished eyes, and kiss him like it's all I've ever wanted.