The Heartbreak Factor - Part Two

Chapter Fifty-Five.

Walking down the backstage corridor, I felt lost - not geographically lost, but genuinely lost. I was doing a performance on a huge talk show in America, a way of launching my career in the States, but I didn't feel up to it. I hadn't spoken to George since our phone argument and I'd spent all week in the studio, recording the new single. Lisa had decided to release the single as a fast-track single in the hope that it might boost my chance of success in America, but I really couldn't care less about success in America right now. I didn't even care that it was my birthday in two days. I didn't even care that it was mine and George's first anniversary in two days. I just didn't care. 

"You look lovely," Lisa smiled to me as she rushed towards me, down the corridor, carrying a cup of coffee in her hand and a hard copy of the new single in her hand.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"Sammy, snap out of it," Lisa said. "I know you're pissed off but please be professional."

I nodded and took the single out of her hands to look at it. "Love the cover," I lied. I really couldn't care less about the single cover.

"Just remember the date -"

"- 4th November. I know."

"Good," Lisa beamed. 

I smiled at Lisa as one of the show's production team rushed over to me and began to fit my microphone pack over my dress. 

*

"She came sixth on the British X Factor last year but after debutting at number one in the UK, she's releasing her first US single on the 4th of November. It's Sammy Jones," the host said, introducing me as I stood on a separate part of the stage, preparing for the music to start for my performance. 

The lights in the studio dimmed and the audience's round of applause quietened down. I stood clutching the microphone in the centre of the stage as I looked out at the studio audience, whose eyes were all glaring back at me, probably thinking 'who is she?'. 

"Whoa," I began as I harmonised, making sure my vocals were all on key. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, umm."

The whole studio was in complete darkness as I stood with a single spotlight beaming down on me. "He's staring at me, I'm sitting wondering what he's thinking. Um, nobody's talking 'cos talking just turns into screaming. Oh. And now as I'm yelling over her, she yelling over me. All that that means is neither of us are listening, and what's even worse that we don't even remember why we're fighting." 

As I sang every word of the lyrics I had written just days ago, all I could think about was how hypocritical I was being. I was mad at George - really mad, but I didn't want to be mad at him and I didn't want him to be mad at me. "So both of us are mad for nothing, nothing, nothing. But we won't let it go for nothing, nothing. It should be nothing to a love like what we got, oh. Baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain, but baby can we make up now 'cos I can't sleep through the pain? Boy, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you and I don't want you to go to bed mad at me. No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you, and I don't want you to go bed mad at me."

"Um, and it gets me upset, boy, when you're constantly accusing, asking questions like you already know. We're fighting this war, baby, when both of us are losing, this ain't the way that love is supposed to go. What happened to working it out? We fall into this place where you ain't backing down, and I ain't backing down, so what the hell do we do now?" I continued to sing as I looked around the studio, feeling helpless as all these eyes and cameras were on me. "It's all for nothing, nothing, nothing. We won't let it go for nothing, nothing. It should be nothing to a love like what we got, oh. Baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain, but baby can we make up now 'cos I can't sleep through the pain? Boy, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you and I don't want you to go to bed mad at me. No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you, and I don't want you to go bed mad at me."

"Oh, baby this love ain't gon' be perfect," I sang as I looked straight into the camera in front of me, as if I was looking directly at George. "And just how good it's gonna be. We can fuss and  we can fight, long as everything is alright between us before we go to sleep. Baby, we're gonna be.. happy. Oh. Oh. Baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain, but baby can we make up now 'cos I can't sleep through the pain? Boy, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you and I don't want you to go to bed mad at me. No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you, and I don't want you to go bed mad at me."

As the music faded out, I continued to sing, harmonising the notes into an a cappella bridge. "I don't want to go bed mad at you, and I don't want you to go to bed mad at me. Oh, no, no, no."

Finishing the final note, the host walked onto the stage to join me as the studio broke out into applause. "Well, Sammy, that's quite an emotional song for your first US single release," the host smiled to me as I took a deep breath. 

I nodded. "I just felt like it was something different," I replied, looking around the studio as I remembered I was here to promote the single, not to pour my heart out. "Debut singles are always a tricky decision but I just liked the song when I wrote it so hopefully people can relate to it and like it too."

"So this is out November 4th?" 

I nodded.