The Heartbreak Factor - Part Two

Chapter Fifty-Four.

I sat down on the sand with my feet dipping into the water as the waves came closer to me. "I didn't mean it like that. You know how much this means to me but you also know how much you mean to me. I know I've been a bit of an ass but it's just everything has changed in my life so much and it's hard to keep up. You won't understand."

"Why won't I understand?" George asked. "Is it because I'm not as successful as you? You've not even tried to talk to me about it. Instead of talking to me about your schedule for the next week or which other famous people live by you every night, why don't you tell me about the things that actually matter to me, like how you feel?"

"I don't know," I shrugged, feeling a little defeated. 

"Call me when you get back or something. I don't care anymore."

Before I had chance to reply, the phone line went dead. I sat looking at my phone, stunned at George's reaction. As a tear trickled down my cheek, I shoved my phone into my hoodie pocket and stared out into the ocean. My hair was flowing as the breeze rushed past me. The waves gently trickled through my legs as the tide slowly came into shore. 

"Sammy," Lisa called from the steps to the villa.

Turning around, I wiped the tears away from my eyes and faked a smile. "Coming."

*

Sat at one end of the dining table, I stabbed my fork into the pile of noodles on the plate. Lisa, who was sat on the opposite side of the table to me, smiled at me as I glared emotionlessly at the noodles. "What's wrong?" Lisa asked, sounding concerned as I continued to stare at the noodles. "Missing George?"

"No," I snapped.

"What's wrong then?"

I looked up from the noodles on the plate to Lisa. "Do you think I'm a bitch for agreeing to come to America for this long, leaving everyone behind?" I asked Lisa.

"Honestly?" Lisa asked. "No. I think you've done the right thing. I know you'll think it's a bit heartless me saying this but you signed up for The X Factor to get a singing career, not fall in love. This time in America is gonna further your career. If George loves you like he says he does, he'd understand." 

Lisa smiled at me before standing up and carrying her plate into the kitchen. I sat staring at the noodles, lost in thought. A part of me wanted to agree with Lisa, but I couldn't help feeling guilty and selfish for doing it. 

"What has George said?" Lisa asked as she returned into the dining room and sat on the chair closest to me.

"He said he doesn't care anymore."

Lisa shook her head. "Trust me, Sammy. People say they don't care when they do care - they care more than they want to let on."

"But I have been a bitch to him recently. How can I expect him to be okay with talking to me for one hour every day?"

"Sammy," Lisa said, taking hold of my hand over the dining table as I began to fret over everything I had done wrong. "What about the days when George was in the studio from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to sleep at night - or early the next morning? He didn't contact you at all. Neither of you are perfect in this relationship but by God, he's twenty and you're turning nineteen in a week. You're still young. This is both of yours' first proper relationship. You're gonna have flaws. It's like a music career - relationships take a hell of a lot of time, effort and, more importantly, it takes a lot of mistakes."

I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't know what to think, let alone say.

"Why don't you turn what you wanna say to George into a song?" Lisa smiled to me, reaching over to the sofa and grabbing a notebook and pen. "Some of the best singles released in history were written after a break-up."

"So George can accuse me of being Taylor Swift 2.0?" I laughed as Lisa handed the notebook and pen to me.

Lisa shrugged her head. "Writing a song will let you get your emotions out without him being able to say anything. It'll be your song - your story."

I sat looking at Lisa about it for a while before reluctantly agreeing to do it. 

*

Sitting on the terrace as the sun went down over the calm ocean, I looked at the blank page of the notebook that I held in my hand. It seemed like I was the only person alive on Earth at that moment. There wasn't a single sound, apart from the soft lapping of the waves on the beach below. Closing my eyes, I began to think of where to start the song. I had no idea of how to write a song about how I felt, especially when I didn't know how I felt. I didn't even understand why we were arguing - George usually didn't blow off like this when I was away or was working on my music for all hours of the day. All I knew was I didn't wanna stay mad at him.