Melanphoria

14

It's raining so hard when I'm done with my delivery. I forgot to bring an umbrella so I decided to take shelter from the rain first and wait for it to stop because it's hard to get to the bus station like this. I regret not using my motorbike for my delivery.

I hate the rain. I don't like getting wet by it, maybe because I get sick easily unlike Tsumu who is perfectly healthy even if he gets soaked in the rain.

I scanned the place I am and smiled upon realizing that I'm near Akaashi's office. It's been a while since I last saw him. And I feel like every time he visits my shop, he just keeps on getting thinner. I don't know why my twin or their friends couldn't see how he has been lately. As if they just keep on accepting his excuses that it's because of his work even though they could see that there's something wrong with his health.

I sighed and looked to the street across mine and my heart tightened when I saw Akaashi walking aimlessly in the rain. I didn't think twice and immediately crossed the street and followed him. I don't care about this fuckin rain or even if I get sick, I just want to catch up the man I have an unrequited love with and save him.

"Akaashi!" I called his name but he looked so out of it.

He just keeps on walking as if he couldn't hear anything or doesn't feel anything. I ran as fast as I could when I saw him about to cross the street even though the walking signal was still red. He finally looked at me as if he snapped him back to reality when I finally pulled him from crossing and I felt my heart being ripped into pieces when I saw his tears mixed with the raindrops falling on his beautiful set lonely face.

"What the hell are you doing?! Are you trying to kill yourself?!" I asked in anger not because of what he's doing to himself but because of the person who caused him to be like this.

"S-samu... W-what are you doing here?" he asked after looking away from my gaze and wiped his tears.

"Akaashi... What's wrong?" This time my voice sounded gentle coz I tried to calm myself down.

"I'm okay don't mind me." He said and pulled away his arms that I'm holding before crossing the street when the walk signal turns green.

I sighed and held his hand this time firmly and walked with him under the pouring rain. I didn't let him go even if he tried to pull his hands away. I continued walking with him in the rain without a destination set in mind.

I can't be the person he loves.

I can't make him love me.

But I can cherish him like this.

I can be his support.

I can take care of him like this.

Even if he wanted him.

He can have me.

"Samu it's raining you'll get sick if-"

I looked at him with a smile on my lips. "Shut up or I'll do something more embarrassing." I said cutting him off and it made him smile a bit still with sadness written on his eyes.

"I don't know what you're going through right now but I want you to know that I'm here, Akaashi so please don't do that kind of stunt again." You'll be killing me twice if you get into that accident.

I said without looking at him keeping to myself the last sentence.

People are looking at us but it doesn't bother me at all. What's in my mind is Akaashi's warm hands that is erasing the cold I'm feeling because of the rain.

I hate the rain.

But right now, I'm starting to love it.

I glanced at Akaashi who looked exhausted and my heart aches seeing him like this. He looked thinner than the last time I saw him and he looked like he hadn't gotten enough sleep. I want to take him away and run away from his miserable life with that horned owl.

I wouldn't mind being his friend forever if in exchange, I will see his beautiful smile that I loved again.

I stopped walking in an uncrowded and dim lighted street and looked at him when he faced me with an astonished look on his face.

"Akaashi..."

I looked at him seriously and that made his brows creased.

"Do you want to run away? Just tell me and I'll take you away with me. I hate seeing you hurting like this." He tried to open his mouth to explain but no words escaped his mouth.

"I don't know what exactly you've been going through but isn't it enough? Soloing that pain, you have in there." I point to his left chest gently.

"You can keep on smiling even when you're not happy. You keep saying you're okay even though you're not. Akaashi aren't you getting tired faking it? Let's just run away. Let me pull you out of your melanphoric situation." I said while wiping the tears that keep on falling on his lonely blue eyes.

"Akaashi... Just say 'I'm tired' and I'll take you away."