I'm Dying

26.

Epilogue

And then there was no sound.
Just silence and a deep beating of inevitable hurt slipping in his senses. She was gone, even from that audio box.
She was gone forever.

Before Shravan could move into reality, there was a commotion at his door. It opened up with a creaky sound and there stood his friend Ravi Gujral.

Maybe more your friend than my doctor.

There was a hint of anger in Shravan's eyes but Ravi was already happy that he is finally awake.
'You okay, mate?' Ravi said pushing his hands in his pocket. He looked suddenly nervous and all out of the place.

I'm not blaming you, Ravi. I know you did your best.

Shravan knew that there was no point in jeopardizing the situation. He gulped, taking in all the secrets in the pit of his stomach. All the things he knew and wanted to say was hidden in the back of his tongue. 'I'm fine.' he said, pressing his lips so much so that he could taste his own blood.

Ravi just shook his head and stared back at the floor. He was looking so pricked and marred that Shravan for once doubted if he knew the truth?

'I...I..' Ravi shot up his head and then rolled it in a direction that avoided Shravan. 'I am sorry that I didn't see it coming.' he pressed the rim of his specs closer to his eyes.

'Don't lie.' Shravan stated indifferently. There was a force in his words that reflected his urgency to prove it otherwise.

Ravi turned around, caught unarmed. He looked at Shravan for the first time, clearly. He was stitched and wary. He felt the inners of his gut dissolving.

'I tried.' Ravi's lips quivered in penitence.

'You didn't try enough.' Shravan said, spitting the inevitable truth right in front of his friend.

Ravi shook his head with tears falling out of his eyes. He could feel the stink of his soul lingering in the room. He couldn't just stand at that spot. he wanted to run away from the hospital, get out in the fresh air and the open sky, and forget himself for a moment. He took a few steps and held the handle to pull the door open.

'Neither did I' Shravan said, resigning and pushing his back against the pillow. It was like a defeat accepted by two comrades.

But Ravi had already made up his mind. He didn't have the power to tell his friend otherwise.

-----------------
15 days later.

Kanchan folded her laundry. She pressed the clothes back into her cupboard. And then she swung into the solidarity of the Tiwari house. She was alone. Her mother, father, and brother were back in Indore. Away and maybe, better. Bunty was going to take her away sooner. Next morning, she would be so- so away from all this emptiness and hurt and guilt.

She will try.
Again this time.

She had tried ascending steps to Suman's room for God knows how many times. It was like a routine. The first step ran a shiver in her spine. The second one punched a stone in her gut. And the third step just plucked out her soul.

What if she found something too horrible to comprehend in her room?
What if she found her own fault?

But today this was her last chance. Maybe after today, she will lose her chance forever. And she will move ahead with nothing but anger.
That seems lucrative. doesn't it?

To put the blame on the dead?

That she wasn't strong enough.

But Kanchan knew very well that this could never have been the truth.
Her sister was strong enough.