Take Me To Your Heart

An Acceptance and an Adventure

"Okay, kid. Do you have headphones?" He answers affirmatively again. "Why don't you put them on and listen to something okay? Whose phone are you using?"

"Mine. Dayi gave it to me." God bless Ferit.

"Alright kid, I will be there so soon, I promise. Stay in your room, hide in the closet, and put in your headphones. I'm coming."

I dash to my car and call Ferit on the way, quickly filling him in. He curses loudly and tells me he will meet me at Demet's house. I sigh audibly, knowing there is going to be a terrible argument when he gets there. Maybe I should have waited to tell him.

I beat Ferit to Demet's house and hear loud, angry shouts as I approach the door. For a moment, I am terrified. What if one of them is being violent? But the thought of Bulut pushes me to ring the doorbell. The house goes quiet at the sound and eventually Demet opens the door. This is the first time I am seeing her since she visited Ferit's house weeks ago.

"Sejal?" I'm clearly the last person she was expecting.

"Bulut called me. Where is his bedroom?" I ask, barging into the house. My only concern at the moment is my sweet baby boy.

"What? Where are you going?" I ignore her and make my way up the stairs, figuring I can find him on my own. Demet doesn't follow me, but I can hear husband and wife talking downstairs.

"Bulut, baby? Where are you?" I yell, wandering around the second floor. I find him eventually, hunkered down in his closet with headphones on, just like I told him. He startles for a moment when he feels me grab him, but relaxes into my embrace as soon as he recognizes me.

"Sejal Auntie." He sobs in relief. My heart breaks at his distress and I hold him tightly.

I can tell the moment Ferit enters the house by the flare of fighting. I pick up Bulut, determined to get him out of here before things get worse. I press his little head to my chest and rush out of the room. When I arrive downstairs, I see that Ferit and Hakan look like they are ready to throw a punch at any minute. I don't pause to talk to any of them, my priority Bulut. Ferit notices me exiting with the kid and follows me out, shouting some choice parting words behind him.

"Come with me." He growls, ushering me towards his car. I choose not to argue. I get in the backseat with Bulut so I can hold him on our way to Ferit's house. He's clearly still terrified but the lull of the car and my fingers through his hair eventually puts him to sleep. Ferit and I make eye contact in the rearview mirror, but don't say anything for fear of waking him up.

When we arrive, Ferit comes around to the back to carry Bulut up to his room. So much about this moment feels like the night of the accident. I am completely drained.

I walk into Ferit's kitchen and make myself some tea hoping it will calm my nerves. Thank God, that kid followed his instinct and called me. Thank God, Ferit gave him a phone. Thank God, I didn't walk in on anything worse.

Ferit comes downstairs and I pour some tea for him as well. I close my eyes, completely overwhelmed. I know it's unfair to have a break down right now when Ferit is probably just as stressed, if not more, but everything crashes down at me at once. Bulut's distress is too much for me and knowing I had a hand in putting him in that environment makes it so much worse. Tears fall from my eyes and I have no hope of stopping them.

Before I know it, I'm enveloped in a pair of strong arms. Ferit pulls me into his chest and strokes my hair, soothing me. I've missed the comfort of his embrace more than I realized and I melt into his chest, letting him ease my pain. He presses a kiss into my hair and his tenderness only makes me cry more. He holds me, steady and solid, as I release all the emotion I've been keeping inside since the accident.