𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕥𝕠 𝕐𝕠𝕦

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟟~ 𝔸 ℝ𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟𝕘𝕖 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪

I literally barge the door down when I get to it, eyes shooting to the exact place I saw Deku the last time. It was still icy cold like I remembered, wind whipping angrily in my face, droplets of icy rain staining my skin. He was there, as I expected, and I wince when I see his scars on for display yet again, my eyes absentmindedly travel down to the exact place the razor he had previously thrown there was. His mop of hair was almost like a silhouette, and as I took a few tentative steps towards him, he swerved around, facing me.

I knew that he was going to speak if I didn't say anything quickly to make him step away from the ledge, he would launch into an almost perfectly rehearsed speech that I couldn't bear to hear. This sudden time limit was, in upmost honesty, a little pressurising, and all that built-up frustration and agitation bubbled in my chest. Which, from previous experience and common sense, doesn't mix well when I'm trying to literally stop a boy from committing suicide. I don't think clearly to entirely comprehend the words spewing from my mouth, and there is no filter or censorship to any of these words, Deku staring helplessly at me.

It was an improvement from last time, since this time, words actually came from my mind. "Deku, don't you fucking jump off that ledge!" But the words could've been a lot more selective. I had a complete lack of sensitivity.

His doe-like eyes start to pool with water like they always did, and just that sight alone gave me flashbacks, making me really feel angry. And what better of an idea than to take it out on Deku himself.

"K-Ka... Why?" That was all he got out, and the poor guy looked like he needed the old Kacchan back. Too bad I had no sense of care of his emotions. As long as he didn't kill himself, I don't care what he does or thinks next. It was all for me. And those scars meant nothing to me anymore, too angry with no precise reason.

"Just shut the fuck up, dumbass! You better back away from that fucking ledge before I force you to myself!" My anger was polluting my mind, rationality a thing of the past. I was too out of control and lost to stop myself. The furious expression on my face felt unnatural, but it still remained on my face. "You think it's a fucking joke?! Well it isn't! Do you know what you'd do to me if you'd jump?! You'd spoil my reputation for life! And how the fuck would I become a hero then?! You think you can do whatever bullshit you want and be selfish, jumping off roofs and killing yourself as if you're actually not wanted here! Did you even give two shits about your mother?! Don't be a dumbass, Deku! Don't become anything less than the current, depressed and quirkless loser you are!"

There were so many flaws with everything I said. It was all said wrong, in the most fowl and immature way. If anything, pushing him off that roof was much better than me saying all of that. I direct all of my inconsequent hatred to the broken nerd in front of me, and I feel an expression of shock caress my face when I saw a loathing anger flash into his eyes.

He seemed close to screaming at me, and I wasn't surprised when he actually did. His anger made me feel actual fear, like something was decaying inside. I wasn't scared for myself anymore. I was scared for him. That he'd actually jump. I can't take the words back, all out and thickening the air, and it was exactly as it seemed when Deku looked like I had pulled on the last straw. His pained expression was gone, fists clench to the point where they were white, angrily gritting his teeth into a twisted shape. I bite my tongue hard.

"KACCHAN!" Never had I before heard such hate from him. He normally was the dumb nerd who whimpers and cowards in the corner, accepting his fate. But this time, it almost seemed like he wanted to jump of the roof passionately. And not just because I told him. "WILL YOU EVER, FOR ONCE IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE, STOP BEING A DICK TO ME?!"

This stung something in my chest. I'd never heard Deku swear before, but there I was. Hearing him use it. Dick. A perfect words to describe what I was to him. I swallow the stinging lump in my throat. Though anger still swelled in my chest, I couldn't help but think that it was ironically fitting, how I, of all people, managed to pollute someone so innocent. I wince when his volume raises in tempo and pitch, to the point where I was certain everyone could hear it.

"Here I am, Kacchan! On a roof ledge! Ready to jump off! I'm doing this because you want me to! I wanted you to save me!" Unwanted thoughts run into this, about the time Deku, of all those extras, had held his hand out to save me when I fell into that creak. It was a pathetic gesture, but somehow, seeing that caring Deku compared to this agitated Deku brought tears to my eyes. "YET HERE YOU ARE, TALKING ABOUT YOUR FUCKING PRIDE! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TORMENT I HAD BEEN PUT THROUGH BECAUSE OF YOU?! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING SHAME! LOOK DOWN ON ME ALL YOU WANT BECAUSE ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOURSELF!"

Emotions rush around in a forceful frenzy, shifting the world as I knew it. I knew he would shout at me, but all this anger and hate. He felt it all this time. And when I wanted to save him... he tells me all of this. Why? I try another even further pathetic attempt in order to get him off that ledge, guilt starting to sit atop my shoulders.

"Deku, for the last fucking time, G-GET OFF THAT LEDGE!" I try not to let the overcrowded swarm of emotion seep through my voice, but all that showed was thankfully a stutter. But I was not sure if my facial expression was just as forgiving. Deku reads my mind.

He starts laughing coldly, tears of previous agony leaking from his eyes. The ones I had caused so many times. And something tells me that this could be the last. I was afraid that Deku had finally reached the end of something. The end of his sanity.

"NOW YOU FEEL GUILTY?!" His loud yet teasing manner told me all that I needed:

Deku had gone insane.

And it was because of me.

"IT'S TOO LATE KACCHAN!" A name that I'd been so familiar with had become alien to me. "YOU DID THIS, BUT YOU'RE LUCKY I'LL SPARE YOU! FOR YOUR BLOATED EGO! FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR REPUTATION! JUST LIKE YOU SAID!"

I preferred him when he was angry. He was stabbing me worse than before, and I didn't know how much longer I could listen to this. There were no tears in my eyes, but there was just pain and guilt and a strange, empty pit growing in me. He smiles a horribly twisted smile, not like the broken smile he flashed me before he jumped off the roof. It reminded me of an expression of mischief, and something tells me he wasn't planning on jumping off any time soon.

It was a revenge story.

And he was planning to pay back the torture I gave him before.

He pulls out the razor that I'd seen before, and his sickening grin only widens when he sees me flinch. He then thrashes it down to my feet, hearing the small sounds of rain sliding along with it. I thought that it had broken for a moment, and I continue to look in what felt like horror at the stranger in front of me. What the fuck have I done? What the fuck have I created?

"A little memoire, Katsuki!" He sneers my name out menacingly, and for the first time, I saw him as an actual monster, a silhouette with electric, green eyes that strike fear into people, the rainwater absorbed into his straggly green hair splattering onto the floor, causing the atmosphere to grow bitterly cold.

He starts making his way towards me, and I tense visibly, spine erect and posture extremely ridged. His face comes dangerously close to mine, and though he was a complete monster that I had learned to despise for so long, I couldn't help but admire his beautiful green eyes and lashes, how they were delicately drawn. His perfect, round lips were pink and slightly cracked, split from the punch I had given him some time that week, moist from the downpour, and his skin, though unnaturally pale, glowed faintly, like the moon. His sickening smile and the crazed look in his eyes, however, snapped the pieces back together to let me make out what the real picture I was looking at was.

He spits in my face with such hatred and loathe, saliva flecking onto my already damp face, and his eyes were soon filled with a disgusting form of lust. Lust for the dumbfound and petrified look on my face. And the hissing of his final words were ones that were sure to brand me for the entirety of my life, a final strike to my heart.

"Fuck you, Kacchan!"

He makes his exit.

I loved writing this so much that no one understands! And this is my favourite part for... reasons because... Oh my gods, y'all know what it is!!! I've literally set the stage for it, AND it's a tag for this book!!!!!!! I'm super pumped, so expect better!!!!!!!! It's gonna get more dramatic and better!!!!!!!!

Be potates!

~Spud🥔