Hold on I still want you

Chapter 16

"Clary expressed concerns about you still wanting to sacrifice yourself". 

"I'm sorry I kept this a secret, I just knew you would stop me and I didn't want to be selfish by not giving myself to Victor". 

Magnus gently took Alec's hands comfortingly, "Alexander, you wouldn't have been selfish. You have sacrificed yourself so many times, we need to continue this at home we need to leave now". 

Shadowhunters were starting to come back into the ops centre and they tried to stop Alec and Magnus from leaving but Magnus created a portal and took Alec back to his loft. 

Izzy immediately hugged Alec when they arrived, "I was so scared for you big brother. Please don't do that again". 

Everyone else joined in the hug making Alec feel safe and loved, he needed this after the fear he felt when he was at the institute.  "I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you all scared, I just wanted to save you from Victor". 

"We understand Alec", Simon said comfortingly. 

"There's um something I need to tell you about me", Alec said giving Simon and Magnus a meaningful look, they both nodded when they realized what Alec meant and smiled reassuringly at him. Alec was scared to tell his siblings, Clary and Andrew about being a vampire but he felt he couldn't keep it a secret any longer. "You guys know Victor is obsessed with me, he wanted to keep me as his omega forever so he forced Simon to sire me and Victor. We are both daylighter vampires now". 

There was a shocked silence then Jace furiously turned to Simon, "I can't believe you made Alec and Victor vampires! Alec won't ever be able to be a shadowhunter again and Victor is even more powerful now!" Jace yelled. 

Simon flinched away and his heart clenched in pain. 

"Jace I said Victor forced Simon to sire us. He didn't want to do it", Alec shot back. 

"But that doesn't change what he did, and now you are one of the blood suckers!" 

"Is that how you see me?" Simon said tears streaming down his face. "I thought you wanted to become a vampire too so we could be together forever".

Jace realized what he said and tried to take it back but the damage was done and Simon ran to his room. 

"Nice going Jace", Clary said sarcastically and ran after Simon. Clary knocked on the door of the room Simon was using while they were all staying at Magnus' loft. When Simon said she could come in Clary entered the room and her heart broke at the sight of Simon curled up on his bed crying. Her omega instincts to comfort and protect Simon flared up and she quickly sat down on his bed next to Simon and put a comforting arm around his shoulder. 

"I-I thought Jace had changed. He had been doing so much for omega and downworlder rights. But has he really felt that way about vampires this whole time? Has he secretly been disgusted by me because I'm a vampire?"

"Jace is an idiot but I don't think he really meant that. He was just upset about what Alec went through and he often says the wrong thing when he is upset. It doesn't excuse what he said, but I'm certain he loves you. When I was with Jace he often put his foot in his mouth and upset me. But he doesn't mean to do it". 

"I know but it really hurts that Jace said that. Wait what kind of things did he say to you?" Simon asked getting angry again. Clary was his best friend and he was going to have a word with Jace about this too. 

"Sometimes he would say things like stop being such an omega or he wouldn't let me go on some missions because I was too delicate as I'm a girl and an omega. I didn't let him get away with it though, I made him realize it was wrong to say and do that".  

"I'm going to give him a piece of my mind for doing that!" Simon said angrily, like Clary his omega protective instincts were going into overdrive. 

"It's okay Simon, he apologized and made it up to me. I don't want you to be even more angry with Jace".  

"Fine I won't yell at him for it but I still need to talk to him about it. Though I don't even know where we stand anymore. I thought he wanted to have eternity with me. I know he may not have meant what he said but I'm not sure if I can move past it".  

Clary pulled Simon into a hug, "I understand, whatever you decide I will support you and be there for you". 

"Thank you Clary, that means so much to me". 

"We're a package deal remember?" Clary said with a grin making Simon feel lighter and smile back. 

Meanwhile if looks could kill Magnus would have incinerated Jace with his glare, "How could you call Simon and Alexander a bloodsucker!" 

"I didn't mean to say that, I'm so sorry Alec". 

Alec looked away trying to stop tears falling, "Is that how you see me too now?" 

"No even if you are no longer a shadowhunter you are still my parabatai", Jace said. He had known something was wrong for a while now as he couldn't feel Alec in the bond. He had thought Alec was shutting him out, he had never expected this. Alec's runes were still showing even though he was a vampire, he didn't understand how that was possible. Jace wanted to go and talk to Simon and apologise to him too. But he knew from experience that Simon needed time without him first. "Wait how come you still have runes?"

"I don't know, I tried using my stele but it doesn't work anymore. I still look like a shadowhunter but I can't use my runes", Alec said trying to hide how much that upset him. 

It was devastating when he realized he couldn't feel Jace through the bond anymore, and it would haunt him for eternity. He had known that would happen when he would ask Simon to become a vampire, but he hadn't even had the time to prepare for the heartbreak. It had happened so suddenly and cruelly because of Victor, that it hurt even more. 

"I don't know either, I have never seen anything like this", Magnus said, he had not wanted to bring it up before as Alec was going through so much. But now that Jace had, he felt he needed to be honest. If the Clave found out about this they would want to experiment on Alec which made Magnus hate the Clave even more. 

Izzy seemed to come to the same conclusion, "We have to keep this a secret for Alec's safety", Izzy said anxiously. 

"So you are okay with me being a vampire?" 

"Of course hermano, I love you no matter what", Izzy said and hugged him again. 

Alec was so relieved, he loved Izzy so much and was so glad he hadn't lost her. Despite Jace's earlier reaction he seemed to have come around. Alec was worried about Andrew though, he hadn't said anything since Alec told them he was a vampire. He remembered how cold he had been to Magnus when he had temporarily lived at the institute and it worried him.  

"What about you Andrew?" Alec said trying to keep his voice steady. 

Andrew didn't know how he felt. He had been raised to believe that downworlders, especially omega downworlders were beneath him. He had been trying to fight the beliefs that had been ingrained in him. He wanted to accept this for Alec because he loved him, but at the same time part of him was disgusted by Alec now. And he hated himself for it. 

He had also been raised to believe being gay was wrong and had lived in fear all his life because of it. He had been so afraid someone would find out he was gay and that he would be cast out and deruned. Alec had helped him realize shadowhunters were the ones in the wrong to believe that and had given him the courage to come out and be free. If shadowhunters were wrong about that could they be wrong about downworlders? 

"I don't know, I just need time to think". 

"At least promise you won't betray Alec's secret", Izzy said. 

"I can't promise that, I'm sorry", Andrew.

Andrew left leaving Alec devestated and afraid that he was in danger of being exposed by Andrew and that he would be tortured by the Clave literally forever.