nefelibata | de gea

xi

ander tried his very best
setting you up on blind dates
every so often
so that you could get over her

but you told him only after
the third date in two weeks
"its useless, i just want her"

he didn't seem to understand
but then again why would he?
he had never been trough the
emotional hell you had

he even got juan to help him
but they both knew it was no use
you wouldn't call any of the girls back

you were giving these girls false hope
just by saying yes to a simple date
but you'd broken enough hearts already
you didn't dare to break another one

the first blind date was okay
but she wasn't like tilly at all
quite the opposite of her

you didn't even remember her name
was it carla? or maybe it was sofia?
you didn't want a carla or a sofia
all you wanted was your tilly

but you can't even call her yours
because she never belonged to you
and you were never her own either

the second blind date - ally
had the same pale green eyes
and that killed you because
you couldn't look at ally as ally; herself

and instead resorted to comparing
her to your soulmate; tilly and
who knew you'd favour her?

the third girl whose name was meghan
had blonde hair and charcoal grey eyes
she was pretty, beautiful even, but she
was as self-centred as you were, david

and opposites do attract

the fourth and final girl - felicity
was juan's doing as ander had given up
she was small and delicate

and her bright blue eyes
mesmerised you
but not enough to clear the
tables awkward atmosphere

and when you returned home
juan was there, brightly smiling
asking "how did it go?"

you simply shook your head
and replied "none of them were
teelee juan, she's all i want
i love her with everything"

and your words hit him hard
because he realised that fear
can cause huge mistakes and
could lead to a life of misery

from that day forward, juan
was never fearful of anything
and how you wished that could
have been you almost a year ago