chuuya's little accident

pls old man give me the gloves

"awww chuuya! you called me first! you haven't been this sweet since u were 15... well scratch that you were still annoying then to-"

"SHUTBUP DAZAI. listen talking to you is the last thing i'd like to be doing but i'm heading to the train and need my mask, so give it back."  subconsciously he began to tap his foot as he leaned back against the front door.

"how horrid! well don't worry my dear child i, dazai the savior, will return your one of a kind mask to you. i'll just go ahead and grab one.. oh dear! it seems they've disappeared, better luck next time!"

chuuya almost growled ( 🐕 ) out loud. he could hear the smirk on dazai's face as he had said that. he said some holy words to the receiver and quickly hung up.

"damn that dazai, i should've never called him the first place.". chuuya looked down at the makeshift mask he had previously taken off in his hand. he stared at it a bit more and tried his hardest to throw away the fashion bla bla doohickeys.  eh, what the hell.

he quickly put it back on and walked relatively quickly for someone with such short legs out the door.
he strode down the hallway hoping no one would see him. the shirt covered most of his face, but his distinct orange rattail might make him stand out. wait, i don't have a rattail.. anyway i have to hurry or this shit will spread... literally.

as he walked to the train he realized the stares he was getting. normally others would avoid their gaze since he was obviously so threatening. not that he minded, since it gave him a clear pathway, but it was still strange.

he wasn't going to back down so he fancied a stern glance at someone near him.
his eyes widened.

despite even having a mask... they were holding their nose? that couldn't mean..

chuuya stopped in his tracks. he looked around him till he found this empty alleyway that he continued to walk down.

he pulled down the shirt so his nose was uncovered, then took a big whiff.
awwww shit. literally. the unfortunate smell had traveled with him from his small apartment room, and everyone around him had also been forced to smell it.

chuuya laid his head against the wall. "god dammit. this is all such bullshit." no, rather it's all shit. he couldn't even laugh at his own joke, which of course he always did due to his narcissistic tendencies.

he heard his phone ringing in his back pocket. god, why at this time? he looked at the caller. it was that old geezer supposed to be bringing the gloves. chuuya answered.

"of course waiting on you seems like a fantasy, i'd rather not stay in one location for hours."

chuuya let out his gut throat "EEEEEEEAEEE? listen here you bear i'll have you know that i have MUCCH more important things to attend to than your scrawny ass does"

there was silence on the other end. it's quiet aint no backtalk. hopefully he'll still give me the gloves, though.

"...bear? scrawny what? nonetheless i'll be leaving the gloves behind the 23rd alleyway, left of the right ward. i assume you know wher-"

"yeah yeah i get it old wart, just leave em on the ground or something i'll find them somehow." 

there was a short silence that was clearly hirotsu recalling the fact that he had been cut off.

"very well then, good luck with whatever you're... attending to." the phone hung up.

chuuya cleared his throat and let out yet another breath he had apparently been holding. jesus i hate farts like him.. they almost remind me of.. he gagged involuntarily.  d-d-d- yeah that stupid fucking idiot no one likes.

                                      well, now what? i smell and almost everyone around me can tell.

an idea popped in his head. he didn't really have to walk around everyone, he could simply jump from building to building high above.

man i am so awesome to have thought of that, i'd like to see that greasy d-d-d--d--ddd- DAAAZAI figure out something like this.  it hurt him to almost think his name for the 5th time. he used his gravitation to get to the top of the building he was closest to.

he began to make his way down town, walking fast, faces pass towards the desired location.
this is so much easier, i can literally see the alleyway from here.

 for a second he thought he had seen the bandaged bimbo,  but he concluded it as a figure of imagination and continued floating around like a decomposing butterfly.

he reached the stopping point and dropped down to grab the gloves. somehow not a single person was around, but this worked out for him. he rose back up and headed back.

it was hard at times to ignore the millions of stares that chuuya was getting, but of course he just decided to turn it into a "they're starting at me cause i'm hot" situation (wishful thinking).

as he got to the apartment, the back of his neck felt two stings, like two eyes were stabbing into him. he stopped for a few seconds, not moving. the feeling went away, but he still turned around nonetheless. nothing. as he supposed.

he jumped out in front of him for a quick second to see if anyone would take the bait, but instead he looked like a malfunctioning ostrich.

he walked up to his room. the shirt mask was off now, and he braced himself for a smell coming from the room. he was right next to it, his nose (wait does chuuya have a nose? okay he does) almost touching the door.

still nothing. his almost non-existent eyebrow raised. he carefully opened the door and took a few steps in.