Harringrove Ao3 Favorites

Keep Your Head Down

Triggers: Child abuse, Slurs

Author: mrharringtons

Author's Summary: She's just turned thirteen when she sees Neil hit Billy for the first time.

She runs away.

Her heart is in her throat. She can't breathe.

Max isn't stupid.

Even though Billy frequently calls her stupid. Calls her an idiot. Calls her a bitch and a loser and a nerd and fucking busybody shitbird. He calls her a lot of things.

She's not stupid.

She knew she got angry fast when her mom and dad got divorced. Because why, anyway? Why'd they have to go and do that? It's not like he beat her mom or anything. He stayed out late and her mom would complain about the way he smelled when he came back, and they'd fight and they'd argue but it was nothing bad . Nothing terrible.

But they still get divorced and Max only gets to see her dad on weekends and he sometimes skips and she wonders what she did. Why doesn't he want to see her? Why doesn't he try harder?

She's pissed off when she cuts all the hair off her barbies at nine years old, and her mom promises to buy her new ones. Pissed. She learned that word from her dad. She tells her mom she doesn't like barbies anymore.

When her mom introduces her to a man named Neil, it's to say she's getting married again. To say they're moving in. Max isn't happy.

But she thinks it might be cool to have a brother. A big brother. She's never had a lot of friends at school to play with, but from what she's heard, big brothers are amazing. They play with you and they wrestle and they teach you to drive and they take you out for milkshakes and to the movies whenever you want.

Neil introduces Max's new older brother to her as William. William scrunches his nose and crosses his arms and corrects his father in a snide voice, "It's Billy."

The hand Neil has on her shoulder squeezes too tight for a quick second and then it's gone.

Billy doesn't look happy to meet her. He frowns and he glares and Max wants to cry. Wants to shout at him to like her.

Wants to say she gets it because she hates how Neil says Maxine . Says it's just Max.

Billy sniffs and asks his father if he can go outside and Neil lets him go.

Max doesn't see either of them for a week, when her mom and her have packed everything in their one room apartment up to move.

Neil makes Billy carry the boxes inside the rusting single wide trailer they call home. Max's home now too.

Billy has a bruise on his chin and she wants to ask how he got it. So she does.

"Skateboarding," he snips, and keeps lugging boxes. Keeps his head down.

Max thinks that's so cool . She asks and gets a skateboard that Christmas.

When she goes up to her new big brother, who's combing his curls away from his face, she asks, "Can you teach me to skate?"

And Billy looks confused before he gets mad. Spits out, "I don't know how to skate, what the hell are you talking about? Grow up."

And Max doesn't get it. So she goes outside and tries to teach herself.