Tell me // H.S.

Mirrorball

Me, saying it was nothing more than friendship. Tom telling me I was lying, and he knew there was more. And then me slowly beginning to have stronger feelings. And the other person telling me they don't feel the same way. Great story, right? And then there was Tyler. Tyler felt the same way as I did. Tyler was the first one to feel the same way as I did. I loved him. And he loved me. And then he didn't love me anymore.

But I still loved him, for a long time.

And I can't let that happen with Harry. Of course, I thought about it. Because he kept looking at me in the studio, because I caught him starring while I was talking with Sarah. Because I felt electricity run through my whole body when he held me closer against his chest, or when he took my hand. Because the conversations I can have with him are deeper, and more meaningful to me than the conversations you usually have with a 'friend' that you just met. Because he's the most adorable human being on this planet, and has the kindest eyes and purest smile in the world... See, this is why I can't let myself think about that. Cause when I think of it, I realize he's doing all the things Tom asked me about.

And I don't want for him to stop doing that. I just don't know if I'll be able to take it if it ends badly. I hope I will. Dammit. I'm overthinking again. I focus on how I felt yesterday to calm myself down. Today is my birthday, I had a great -really great- day yesterday. Today is gonna be just the same. Maybe better. My phone rings and Tom jumps on it to grab it before I do.

"Oh, well, well, well...look who's calling you already, Starla Robinson? Seems like the boy can't go without you for more than a night, that's interesting..." he jokes and I grab my phone, rolling my eyes at him.

"Tom, I swear if you don't stop doing this I- I'm...well I don't know, but trust me I'll find a way to torture you, and you will regret your actions!" I end up laughing, incapable of staying mad at him for more than five seconds. I pick up and walk to the small terrace of our room.

"Starla Robinson." he just says and I wish I could contain it but I can't, a large smile spreads across my face. His voice is like velvet through that phone. 'Not that it isn't in real life too' I think to myself.

"Harry Styles." I answer and I might be wrong but I think I hear him chuckle when I mimic his intonation.

"Happy birthday Starla !" he screams in my ear, sounding like an over excited child. How does he go from being calm and all mysterious to an 8 year old in three seconds ?

"Thanks Harry...how was the rest of the session yesterday?" I ask him, my elbows on the fence.

"It was great. I'm finally able to think straight and it's a good feeling. Would you mind uh- I mean, you probably have plans with Tom today but uh- I thought, maybe, we could...hang out for a bit. Or maybe we can go out tonight, but I know you're not necessarily a big party person so I thou-" He mumbles, stumbling on his words.

"I would love to hang out with you Harry Styles. I do have plans with Tom today, but you could come with us. And he's planning on taking me out tonight, which isn't debatable he said, so if you wanna join us for that too that would be...great. You could also ask Mitch and Sarah if they wanna come tonight." I explain to him.

I really don't want to go out, Harry's right, I'm not a party person. I used to be. Not anymore. But on my birthday, I don't think Tom will let me get away without a little going out time. And having Harry with us...with me, is a thought that I like a little more.

"Oh, well I gotta say, I'm relieved you said yes cause um- I might be in front of your hotel right now..." he sighs and my heart skips a bit 'Okay um calm down Star, it's chill' I remind myself.

"Like, right now ?" I ask him.

"Yeah, right now ! I can wait for you guys in the lobby, s'that alright with you?" he asks and I can indeed see him now, standing on the sidewalk.