A Lovely Mess |a.t|j.r|e.p|

Bonfire|e.p|02|

song: Remembering Sunday By All Time Low

I sat up in bed. Thinking. It was 3 am and I was up letting my mind travel through the thoughts of Alex once again. I grabbed my cigarette box and climbed out the window to the roof.

I sighed and put a cigarette in my mouth. As I smoked I started to write, its what I did to not get so depressed again.

Alex exhaled on my neck, we had just had sex and she was tired. "I love you," she whispered.

I hit myself for having a flashback. "Ugh! Get out of my god damn mind!," I hit my head even more. Just then, Ashton came in through the door. He opened the curtains and looked at me with terrified eyes.

"Evan what are you doing?," he sounded as if he were about to cry. I looked at his sad eyes and started to cry. Ashton came on the roof with me and hugged me. His small hands wrapped around my waist, I could feel the wetness on my shirt coming from his eyes. I rubbed his back.

"Everything is ok. I promice you.," I said with a shaky voice. I pulled him off, "Go back to bed, I don't want you smelling my smoke." He kissed my cheek and left.

'What am I doing? What the hell am I gonna be?," I hit my head again, "A useless piece of shit, thats what I'm going to be." I cried even more. In just a few minutes, my cigarette was gone. I sighed and then got back in the house. In the corner there lied a box full of Alex's shit I had left behind when we ran away, along with all of my clothes I wore around her (all of it). I grabbed the box and went downstairs. I left to the backyard. I pulled out the box of matches in my pocket and picked up the gasoline from the floor. In a matter of seconds, the box drenched in gas. "Fuck you Alex!," I lit the match and threw it on the box. The fire was huge, considering that it was drenched with gas. The boxs' fire made it look like a bonfire. I sat there in a plastic lawn chair, slowly throwing some letters Alex had sent since the day I left. The expressionless look on my face made me look as if I was just a normal guy throwing shit in a fire. I ran my fingers through my hair, "I'm gonna be a new man.," I said to myself.