Break The Rules But Be Smart About It: The Second Quarter quell

chapter five

I am still very dizzy, but I can make out the words. I smile and keep the note in my pocket... I drink the liquor and keep the bottle in the drive with the other memories I have from here, the liquor bottle Effie first brought, the 2nd one, my notebook, a gold ring that turns into an astronomical sphere that I wear every day, and an old apple. I get dressed; I'm guessing no clothes will be laid out for me, so I just use the same ones from yesterday. I slip the gold ring on, comb my hair with my fingers, I wash my face, and I notice I have bloody scars all over my face, I didn't receive a very intense Beating like the one before, but my face is still bruised and marked. No hair and makeup for me today, so try to wash off my blood, but the bruises are so deep the blood isn't able to be washed off. I hear a knock on the door, and the peacekeeper calls me, and the day starts.

We go to training, and the day is truly going to be awful. The whole room was dizzy, and I fainted three times, I think ... Penelope talked to me throughout the day, and I explained to her what happened, and she seemed very angry about the whole situation. I didn't want to make friends in the games, but Penelope is probably the best friend I could have right now. Penelope Brough me my lunch, and we ate together. Penelope said, "so you feel high?" And I laugh "in a way, yes," she says in a sarcastic way "does it live up to its expectations" I reply, "no, not at all" I feel awful. The drugs or steam they put into my body makes me feel horrible throughout the day... these drugs I see old merchants and peacekeepers trade a lot of money for, and here am I getting it inhaled into my body For only writing something on my paper. But I fall asleep while Penelope talks to me. I hear her in the distance talk about how we should be allies, but all I reply is 'no' and 'no penelope, thank you for this but... no,' she says, "but haymitch please," I say "no." I have a dream, replaying over and over ... all I hear is grans voice screaming in pain and peacekeepers ripping and cutting her into pieces and beating her in terror. She gets her head beheaded and be blown off at the same time.. there's aroma everywhere.. the same that was used on me the day before.. and her skin is purple. The whole room is hot and steamy. I wake up instantly, sweating, screaming. Shouting

And the 47 tributes look at me like if I were crazy (i wouldn't blame them). Penelope comes to me, "you good," and I reply, "no!" a couple of seconds later, acknowledging what has happened... Penelope comes near me, putting her knees up to her chest, and says, "it was just a dream, a fear. Maybe thats what they did to you," I reply "fears... there going to use that against us in the arena," Penelope replies, "what," and I explain to her some ideas, not much of them to be observant of what the capital has been doing. Later on, Ajax comes and lifts me off the ground, forcing me to do something because I have only slept and eat. Ajax forces me to run and to do weight and practice my vision. Well, more like thinking straight in when I am gassed up because knowing Snow, this won't be the last TimeTime I will end up like this. While we practice knife throwing, it turned out that I could throw better on drugs and overdosed medicine than with my normal vision. Ajax spends the day with me for the first time since the day before the reaping. After a while, I refuse to help me, and I go on my own to run. And run. I fall off the treadmill once, not thinking straight, but nothing happens that my 3x burned and ripped bloody skin cannot handle. I thought about what I do next, but nothing occurs to me. The day passes, and Evian and the peacekeepers escort us back to the apartment. I am not allowed to talk to anybody in the apartment. I'm also not allowed to have dinner... what punishment they have given me 'no food'? It's not like the capital hasn't done that to me before. I walk straight to my room like a little boy when mom would get mad at me and send me to my room, but I go and sit there the whole evening until... I open my drawer to put away my things, and there's another liquor bottle, and it says

"for medicinal purposes only -Effie, Ajax & Maysilee:)"

I drink the whole bottle lying on my bed, not making the situation better. Still, Ajax comes in and writes on a paper, "your free starting tomorrow morning" I reply, "thanks, also thanks for this," and I lift the bottle. He says, "it was Effies idea, she feels bad," I reply, writing on the paper "good night," and Ajax says, "you don't look as ugly," and draws lips on the form and makes a duck looking face back at me. And we go to bed.. my thoughts have been everywhere, from .. not being allowed to talk to the people to Effie and that situation. I can't speak to the people I live with, but I can speak to the people I can kill? The capital controls everything, and it stirs a flame inside of me.. they head everything, if I talk or not, who I talk to. What's next what I breathe? Oh, wait, they control those two because they overdosed me with drugs. I doze asleep.