Taming the Waves (College Series #2)

Chapter 40

"Troy, stop it," I said. "Magpahinga ka lang saglit at umuwi ka na pagkatapos."

He breathe heavily. "D-dito lang ako."

I hissed. "Bitaw na. Mabuti nga at hinayaan pa kita rito, e. Ano na lang iisipin ng iba? Mag-aalburoto na naman ang girlfriend mo."

Hindi pa rin tumitigil ang pag-iyak niya kaya kinuha ko ang mukha niya at tinitigan siya. His lips were shaking and his face was wet with tears. Pulang-pula ang kanyang mata dahil sa pagtangis.

I brushed his tears away with my fingers and smiled sweetly at him. Hindi ito ang memoryang gusto kong baunin. Yes, I want him inside my arms, but I'm not a second option. I will not desire something I cannot have. Kapupunas ko lang ng luha niya ay sunod-sunod na naglaglagan na naman ito.

"Hush," I uttered softly.

He closed his eyes and held my hand that's been caressing his face for a minute. He kissed it gently before opening his eyes again.

"I-I know everything now..." he stated like a scaredy cat. "Putangina, a-alam ko na lahat, lahat..."

Dinaga ang puso ko sa rebelasyong sinabi niya. Mabilis kong binawi sa kanya ang kamay bago siya titigan. He covered his face with his hands while his shoulders were moving aggressively.

"Umalis ka na, Troy," I commanded. "Don't ever come back."

Tumayo ako at handa nang umalis sa harap niya nang hawakan niya ang braso ko. I can feel his hand trembling, na para bang isang malakas na bawi ko lang ay maalis na ito.

"H-hurt me, Chin. Sampalin mo ako. Pagsalitaan mo ako. Sumbatan mo ako. Murahin mo ako... I can take it all in," saad niya sa nanginginig na boses. "I-I'm ready to take your rage... I'll punish them for you. I'll punish myself for you, too."

I gritted my teeth. "Para saan pa? It's all done."

"I sent a petition to reopen the case because I want to plead death penalty! His sentence is not enough!" he replied. "P-please, p-please... I will do everything, Chin."

Nabigla ako nang bitawan niya ako. Akala ko ay ayaw na niya ngunit ganoon na lang ang gulat ko nang bigla siyang lumuhod sa harap ko at niyakap ang binti ko na parang doon nakasalalay ang buhay niya.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry... it's all my fault! I didn't listen to you... I'm sorry! Our child died and y-you faced it all by y-yourself. I can only imagine your p-pain... parang awa mo na, tell me what to do... C-Chin..." tuloy-tuloy na saad niya.

I failed to stop my tears from falling. "U-umalis ka na lang, please..."

Umiling siya. "T-tell me w-what happened."

"Ngayon pa, Troy? Ngayon pa na ayaw ko na? Ngayon ka pa makikinig kung kailan sukong-suko na ako?" my voice cracked. "Nagmakaawa rin ako sayo na makinig ka pero tinalikuran mo lang ako! Oo! I was sexually harassed! I had a miscarriage! I had mental disorders! Pero alam mo ba kung anong pinakamasakit?!" sigaw ko.

Hikbi lang ang tanging naisagot niya.

"'Yung taong mahal na mahal ko, hindi nakinig sa'kin! 'Yung taong akala ko sasamahan ako, iniwan lang ako! You! Of all people!" I shouted with so much anger. "Ikaw dapat 'yung kasama kong nagluksa pero sa pag-alis mo, pinagluksaan din kita..."

His hands gave up. Tuluyan siyang napaupo sa sahig sa sobrang panghihina. His face was filled with regret and remorse. His sorrowful eyes made me want to forget my anger.

"N-nagtaka pa ako... paano mo nagawang kalimutan lahat, Troy?" I managed to ask. "Mula paggising hanggang pagtulog, m-magkasama tayo... paano? Paano mo natalikuran lahat yon samantalang durog na durog ako?"