Rambling

Ozzie

I don't think anyone understands how important you were to me
You were my home
My best friend
My happiness
And my heart
I'd look at you and I knew I'd be okay

I miss those adorable brown eyes and soft blonde wavy hair
Or the way you'd lean on me to show me you cared and to take some weight off of your hip

When you died it wasn't just sad for me
It's been 3 years and even the thought of it still makes me sob as if I was there all over again

I don't think anyone should have to watch someone die especially when that someone is laying across your lap

I sat there on the floor cradling you while that light that people always talk about slowly faded way

And then you were gone
My home
My best friend
My happiness
And my heart
Gone
Just like that

I know I told you that it was okay
That if you wanted to go that it would be okay

But I am not okay
All those things that you were for me I still haven't gotten them back

There's this massive gaping hole in my chest where you used to be
They all took pity and maybe shed a couple tears but they don't know what it was like

To watch you die
To feel your chest stop moving
To watch as your adorable brown eyes became dull
To be helpless against death's loving embrace

You may not have been my sun who brings me life but you have always been my moon that makes living feel worth it

Without my moon I'm just a broken bottle with pieces in the stomachs of seagulls

My love for you could fill oceans and in your absence I've learned what it feels like to be empty but not numb

I feel every missing piece and the hole is only growing bigger
The pressure of your nonexistence has created a void within mine

You were more important to me than anyone will ever know and I'm sorry it took me so long to notice

(06/29/17)
Ozzie J. Forever loved and forever missed