Hard to Love (Bucky Barnes fanfic)

Chapter 6

"I don't know how many times I have to say I'm sorry before you start to forgive me Amelia.." He sighs. "I know what I did was wrong, in the moment I thought they were right, and I want to fix them. Fix.." he motions between the two of us

"Us." I finish his sentence. The fact that there even is an 'us' right now makes me feel tingly all over. He nods

"Why didn't you just pursue your feelings instead of push them away? Push me away?" I breathe out, nervous for his answer. This damn curiosity getting the best of me once again

He rubs the back of his neck, thinking of his next choice of words. "Honestly, I didn't think you'd be interested in an old man like me with such a fucked up history." His eyes show a glimmer of sadness as he replays his memories of HYDRA. The longer he did, the darker, more distant and cold, his eyes became. It was almost scary

I place a hand on his knee that's pulled towards his chest, the other dangling over the edge of the building with mine. He's quickly drawn out of his thoughts at my touch, his eyes shifting back to their soft baby blues. I have no idea what flashbacks he had but I don't want him to do that again. He sighs, continuing

"But then I saw how you reacted to me on that mission.. The way you looked at me on the jet. Your body lit up like a candle every time I got near you. I almost cracked when I watched you take down the guard." He smirks, looking at my hand on his knee

He does know that killing someone definitely shouldn't turn you on, right?

None the less, he has no idea how his words affected me just now. My heart race quickened and my stomach felt like it was full of butterflies. I bite the inside of my lip at the thought of what could've happened had he gone through with his intentions, my body instantly grew warmer and a tingly sensation shot down my core

But I want to know what would've happened

"Bucky I-" I fumble for words as I try to push those thoughts away. I clear my throat, focusing on the topic at hand. "As far as I'm concerned you're not 'an old man'," that earned me a 'yeah right' look from him. "And had you actually talked to me, gotten to know me prior to all of this, you'd know I don't judge people on their pasts. Everyone deserves a second chance to do better." I squeeze his knee reassuringly before removing it

He pauses for a moment before locking eyes with me once more, a glimmer of hope in his blue orbs

"Does that mean I get a second chance at getting to know you properly then?" I feel a smile tugging at the corner of my lips before nodding

"Hello Agent Barnes, I'm Agent Hayes, it's nice to meet you." I smile, extending my hand to him. He chuckles grabbing it and shaking my hand, but doesn't let go

"Pleasure to meet you Agent Hayes." He speaks just above a whisper before pulling me towards him, cupping my face with his metal hand and bringing his lips to mine

I melt into him despite the coolness of the metal, moving my lips in sync with his and fluttering my eyes shut. He drops my hand and I gently place it back on his knee, slowly gliding up to his mid thigh as I raise my hips to lean more towards him. It takes everything in me to not hop on his lap to straddle him again and deepen the kiss

I could feel every emotion from him. His lust, his primal hunger, and most of all his apology. Though not all can be forgiven right away, I accept it

His short stubble scratches me but in this moment, I don't care. I want him, all of him

I'm the first to pull away for air. "That's quite the greeting Mr. Barnes. I hope you don't do that with all the new recruits." I smile, tilting my head that's still in his hand. He breathes out a chuckle as a smile of his own plays at his plump lips

"Just you Amelia." He glances at my swollen lips again, leaning in once more. My stomach flips again at the way he says my name

Our lips barely brush against one another when I get the sense of being watched yet again. I snap my head to look at the doorway to find Steve staring at us with a small knowing smirk. I pull myself away from Bucky and compose myself the best I can, embarrassed. Bucky looks unfazed, if not proud to be caught in the act. I clear my throat

"Uh hey Steve, what's up?"

"Tony wants to have a meeting in the living room." He looks between Bucky and I as he points behind him down the stairs

"Yeah, alright, we'll be there in a sec." I start to stand as Steve turns around to leave. "Hey Steve?" He stops in his tracks. "Could you please not tell anyone what you just saw?" I ask, twiddling my fingers. Steve looks back at us, reading my face

"Not my place to tell." He nods and continues back down the steps until he's out of sight. Bucky lets out a small chuckle before standing next to me

"I uh- I need a minute." I sigh, letting all my nerves unwind

"I can give you more than just a minute." Buckys voice was low and sultry. The corners of my lips curl slightly as I turn my body to fully face him

"I'd like to see you prove that statement." Our eyes meet, both full of primal lust for the other. The hunter and his delectable prey. He lets out a low, almost inaudible groan at my words, letting his mind wonder to naughty thoughts

His words and silent promise had sent heat down my body. The thought of ever being intimate with Bucky excited me yet also made me nervous. From his files, he used to be somewhat of a ladies man so he has all this experience. Meanwhile the farthest I've gone with a guy is a sloppy handy in the back of a movie theater

I shake away the horrible memory as Bucky takes a step closer, erasing the space between us once more. He reaches behind me, grabbing a small chunk of my hair and tugging it gently, forcing me to tilt my head up towards him.

"I fully intend to." He growls down at me

I almost whimper at his words. Images of him devouring me, claiming me, caressing me, all flooded my mind. I wanted him right then and there, not caring who knew or saw. But rationality poked its head in and reminded me of the situation at hand

"Come on, we're gonna look suspicious." I breathe out, glancing at his lips, wanting them all over my body

Instead of walking away, Bucky loops his metal arm around my hips and pulls me impossibly closer. Instinctively I place my hands on his torso, giving me the perfect chance to get a feel of his muscles through his maroon shirt. He leans in towards my ear

"I like seeing you all worked up because of me." He breathes out in a low sultry tone before releasing me and stepping away with a devilish grin

My faces floods red as my body reacts to his words and actions. Knees almost giving way beneath me. He's such a tease and he knows it. If that's how he wants it, then two can play at this

Game on Barnes

I bite the inside of my lip as I watch him descend the stairs. Turning back to look out at the horizon, I feel a wave of relief wash over me. All the confusion and anger I had been feeling the past couple of months melting away

Had I not agreed to Steve's request of talking with Bucky, I don't think we'd be where we are right now. Things would still be tense between us and more complicated than ever. Now I can breathe without worry. Bucky and I might actually have something here more than just a sexual attraction, and that excites me. Yeah there will be challenges along the way but I'm not one to back down from one

After a couple of minutes of calm breathing and doing my best to not think of him anymore, I head down the steps and towards the commons room with my untouched plate of food.

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Okay so like... I want all of you to know that as of publishing this chapter, I have the next THIRTEEN chapters drafted as outlines for this story. Yes, you read that right.

I know exactly where I want to take this as of right now and I really hope you guys like what I have planned

Okay byyyeeee :)